Ride with Me
by ForeverUlove
Summary: (AU Stendan) Member of Motorcycle Gang, Brendan Brady, decides to go to Chester University, for one purpose, to protect his younger sister Cheryl, but things take an unexpected turn.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! **So this idea for this story just came to my mind while I was cleaning, I have no idea why, but it did, and I couldn't help but want to write it, even though I know I shouldn't, still haven't finished my other three stories. Anyways let me know what you think of it, if it's rubbish I won't continue.

**Title: **_Ride with me_

**Rated: **M

**In this story: **Brendan is 29, Ste 20

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

**...**

His Black and silver _Suzuki GSX-R_ motorcycle screeches as it comes to an halt, but it's too late, the back of the silver BMW hits his front tires, sending him flying towards the ground, luckily, he has his helmet on. He groans as he tries to get up.

"Oh my god, I am sorry, Ya okay?" A males voice asks with an awkward accent. His face scrunches in anger. He stands up to his feet, and pulls off his helmet, and surges towards guy. He grabs him by the collar slams against the back of his car. He drapes over his body.

"Ye fucking shit, ye fucking almost killed me, fours eyes like ye shouldn't be fucking driving." He hisses, and when he notices the guy wearing glasses, he looks barely seventeen. The boy swallows, his heart beats, he blinks under his large glasses.

"I..I am..sorry..I didn't see ya coming." He defends, lips quivering.

"Ay look at this lads, what I tell ya, I knew that pansy was queer." A voice shouts. The man turns head turns so fast, he thinks he strained his neck. He pulls off from the boy, and stands up and walks over two the three men with a dangerous stance.

"What ye say?" He growls. Their eyes widen, before he get's closer to them, they turn and run as fast as they can.

He turns, and notices the boy jump into his car. He runs after him, but the car speeds off before he can get to him.

"Fuck!" He shouts.

...

Heads turn as the door creeks opens, and he walks in.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" An middle aged woman with brown hair, and glassed asks. He can tell she's the bloody professor. She eyes him up and down, he's dressed in all dark clothes, black, leather jacket, black T-shirt, and dark indigo fitted jeans. He takes off his aviator shades, his blues eyes are piercing, his lips twitch.

"This history 108?" He asks in a deep Irish accent, while chewing his hum obscenely.

"Yes it is." The woman say.

A girl with blonde curls, fitted jeans, and pink sweater stands up, and walks to the front desk.

"Sorry, that's my brother, can I speak to him for a minute." She asks.

"I don't like interruptions, better hurry up." She says. She quickly walks over to him, grabs his arm and pulls him out through the doors.

"What you doing here Brendan?" She asks with a furious face.

"I got class." He says, and holds up a paper, she looks at it with wide eyes.

"What? You not serious?..." She shouts.

"Does it look like I am joking ." He drawls.

"I am not stupid, I know how much you hate uni, so why you here."

"Maybe I just want to take couple of classes, to enhance my knowledge of...things." He drawls. She breathes heavily through her nostrils.

"If you do anything, I mean anything to embarrass me, or cause any trouble, I swear..."

He holds up his arms.

"All clean Chez." He says with a smirk.

"Unbelievable." She says to her self and heads back into the class, and he follows, everyone's turn their head.

"Sorry, he was lost, he's in this class." Cheryl says, and look at Brendan with an annoyed look, before sitting down on her seat.

"What's you name?" The professor asks.

"Brendan Brady."

She looks at her roster.

"Take a seat, your half hour late, I'll let you slide this time, since it's first day of classes." She says in a serious tone. He looks around and spots a empty seat near the back of the class. He doesn't look at anyone as he smugly swaggers his way to the back, and sits down, stretches his long legs apart and folds his arms. Heads turn and stare at him.

"Got a problem?" He says thickly, making everyone turn their heads back.

"Ok everyone, as I was saying turn to page ten of your text book." She begins to talk about the passage in the text book, but not a word registers through his head, all he hears is mumbles. He bends his head back against the seat and looks up at the ceiling, chewing his gum.

"Mr..Brady...Mr Brady!" The professor calls out. He brings his head down, and looks bloody lost.

"Yea?" He asks.

"Could you explain what the author means in this passage." She asks. Fucking hell, first day and already the professor is irritating him. He tilts up his head, and chews his gum.

"Sorry, don't got the book." He says.

"And why is that?" She asks. He presses his lips together, and licks it, and shrugs.

"Dunno."

"Brady, if your going to be in this class, I expect you to participate in class, like everyone else, I'll let you slide this time, next time I expect you to have the text book." She says.

"Cheryl would you please share with him." She says. Cheryl grunts, and gives an awkward smile.

"Sure." She says, she stands up and walks to the back, accidently drops book, someone bends down and picks it up, and hands it to her.

Brendan stares at her and the boy who handed the book to her. He squints his eyes, then his eyes widen. Fucking hell. It's the same boy who hit his motorcycle. His face scrunches up in anger. He looks like proper right nerd, light blue button up short sleeve, hair a bit shuffled, glasses and tan trousers, with a pair of loafers. Brendan sneers at him, curling his upper lip.

"Thank you." She says with a sweet smile, and walks to the back. The boy catches his deadly gaze, his eyes widen as he too notices Brendan, he quickly turns his head away and adjusts his glasses and looks down at his book, as the professor continues to lecture. His heart beats. Brendan keeps staring at him, unmoving.

Cheryl pulls over a seat and sits next to Brendan. She gives him a dirty look.

"If your gonna pretend to be interested at least, at least get a book." She hisses in a low whisper.

He's not even paying attention at her, he's too busy giving a death glare to the boy.

"Are you listening?" Cheryl asks in low voice.

"Yea...yea." He says. He pretends he's reading the stupid articles. He's never believed in books. What makes what they write legitimate shit, for all one knows it could have been written by some fucker on his high knackers, coming up with utter bull crap to manipulate the minds of idiots who cannot think for themselves.

"We learn from the past, learn to not make mistakes what our ancestors before us did, history is written only with credential, without it we wouldn't be where we are today." The professor answers when some idiot asks what's the purpose of historical documentations. Brendan rolls his eyes. It's all bull shit to him. The three hours go torturously slow, and the whole time he keeps staring at the boy, who still has not turned his head back even once.

"Alright, we will end here, be prepared to discuss chapter three next week." The professor dismisses class. Brendan stands up.

"Jesus, her gobs like a fucking car without it's breaks." Brendan says. Cheryl shakes her head in disbelief as she puts her book away in her purse. He turns his head, and notices the boy practically running out of the class.

"Bren...Brendan?" Cheryl shouts. He turns his head.

"What?" He asks.

"Your unbelievable." She says and walks out towards the door.

"Chez wait up." He calls and follows her. He practically tails gates her all way out the building. He looks around the hall ways, thinking he might spot the boy, but nope, he's fucking long gone.

"Come-on, I'll take ye home." He says to her as walk out of the building, the suns shinning down on then.

"I am going to the library to get some books, you go on, I'll catch the bus." She says, and turns to leave.

"It's not safe Chez, there are..." He tries to finish but Cheryl breaks him off.

"Brendan, I am not a fucking little girl anymore, I can look after myself." She says angrily, nose flaring. He sighs heavily, pinches the bridge of his nose with his finger and sniffs.

"Yea..yea I know, I..I just..Ye still my sis and I just want to protect ye." He says with a thick growl. She's used to it though. He's always been like this, so fucking over protective, she's thankful to have a brother like him, really, but at times he just takes it over board, it's like he has to be everywhere she is, and it fucking frustrates her.

"Bren, look I know your still effected by what happened, but that was fucking three years ago, you gotta get over it, you can't always protect me." She says.

"Yes I can..yes I can." He says with thick demanding tone. She shakes her head, and turns around stubbornly and walks away.

"Chez...?" He calls out, but she just walks off ignoring him. He runs his hand over his face, and follows her despite her protests. He waits outside of the library, tapping his feet against the tiled floor. He looks at his watch, it's almost one in the afternoon. About half hour later Cheryl comes out with couple of books, her mouth drops open when she see's Brendan outside of the library.

"Brendan, what is your problem, I said stop following me." She yells.

"I just wanted to ask if you wanted to have lunch." He says, it's half the truth, he's bloody hungry. She sighs heavily.

"Fine but, you better not follow me afterwards, I am serious Bren, I have one more class after this, so you just go on home." She says.

"I as well." He says. Her eyes widen.

"Your not serious?..."

"Wouldn't be here other wise." He says with a smirk threatening corner of his lips.

"God, your a disaster you know that." She says and walks down the hall and he follows along. They find the cafeteria, which is set as a buffet style. Brendan piles on his plate and Cheryl's super picky.

"Trying to watch my figure, so shut up." She says to Brendan who waits for her impatiently to decide on a veggie burger or a salad, with grilled chicken breast. Eventually after what seems like a decade, she goes with the salad. They sit down on a side table. Brendan shoves his fries down his mouth, and chews obscenely. Cheryl gives him a digusted look.

"God, I don't know how you don't get fat, if I ate like you I would blow up like a whale." She says. He laughs hard and parts of his fries fly to her face.

"Bren! Ewwwww..." She cries and wipes her face.

"I am made special that way." He drawls and takes a big bite of his cheese burger. A loud crashing noise catches their attention. They turn their head, and notice a plate of food one the ground, a boy bends down to pick it up, and they notice its the same one from their class, the one who picked up Cheryl's book. Brendan eyes open wide. The boy doesn't notice this.

"Poor lad, must be proper embarrassed." She says. Brendan raises his brow.

"His fault for being a fidgety twat." Brendan insults and takes another a sip of his drink, starring at him intensely.

"God, you are such an arse Bren." Cheryl says and shoves her fork into her salad. He watches as the boy picks up his plate of food on the ground and throws it in the trash and walks out of the cafeteria. He quickly puts down his drink, and stands up.

"I'll be back." He says.

"Where you going?" She asks, confused. He hurries out of the cafeteria. He looks around, but he doesn't find the boy. He goes back into the cafeteria.

"Had to use the loo." He lies. After they eat, they head to class, and Cheryl is outraged when she finds out Brendan has the same class as her.

"This is ridiculous Brendan, what the fuck do you think can happen to me in class, there are like bloody twenty other students here." She shouts.

"I don't know what ye talking about Chez, I signed up for this class because I want to learn more about...the human body." He drawls.

"You been doing that plenty enough with those sluts you bring over all the time." She bites back.

"That's just the outside, I want to know about the insides, it's fascinating ye know...how someone can look so beautiful on the outside, but our insides are twisted and so ugly." He says.

"Whatever, just don't bloody bother sit with me, find somewhere else to sit." She says. She loves her brother really, but he can be a right pain in the arse.

The human anatomy class takes is two hours long, and surprisingly Brendan some what finds it interesting so the time goes by faster than he expects. Cheryl knows he won't leave her alone, so without him even asking she asks him to take her home on his motorcycle. They walk out the building and head towards Brendan's bike. Cheryl turns her head when she notices something. Brendan keeps on walking not realizing.

"Brendan!" She calls out, he turns his head.

"What?" He calls.

"Look over there." She says pointing towards the side of building, where a group of three guys are surrounding someone, she can't see the face. She see's the person being pushed against the wall.

"Brendan, do something." She says in a panic voice.

"Not my problem Chez, come-on." He says and starts walking away.

"How would you feel if that was me and no one helped." She yells. Brendan stops dead in his track, sighs heavily and turns around. Without saying anything he runs towards the group of guys.

"Hello fellas, something interesting going on." He drawls deeply in menacing tone, the three guys turn, his eyes widen, he notices them, they are the same guys from before and the one they are bothering is the same boy who ran into him.

"Oh look, his lover is here to rescue him?" One of the guys banters. Brendan automatically grabs his collar and slams him against the wall.

"Who ye think ye messing with Ay?...Do I look like bloody snow white to ye?" He growls, baring his teeth. Fear paints the guys face. The other two cower, and run.

"If I ever see ye again, I'll pan ye head in this wall, and paint the wall red, ye hear me?" He threatens, he squishes the guys head with his hands.

"Now get fucking lost." He drawls, and pulls his hand away. The guy turns and runs as fast as he can, almost tripping. Brendan turns and notices the other boy is gone. Fucking shit just disappears like a fucking magician. Cheryl comes running towards him.

"Was he okay?" She asks.

"Piece of shit didn't even thank me." He says distastefully.

"I am sure he was thankful, poor lad must have been shaken." She says.

They head to his motorcycle. He gives her the helmet to wear. They get onto it and he speeds off. Brendan takes short cuts through the town, to their apartment, which is about only ten minutes away from the Uni. He parks his motorcycle in an outside parking garage.

Their apartment has two rooms, and it's a bit rundown. Brendan promised Cheryl one day he would get enough money to afford a nicer place. Cheryl honestly didn't care, she was just worried about her brother. She wasn't dumb, she knew what he was doing, as much as he tried to hide it from her, she knew he was involved in illegal things. Coming home late nights, and having cuts and bruises on him, and always ignored her when she asked how he got them, and that expensive motorcycle, that he got, costs like thousands, she never asked him where he got the money from to buy it, but it was bit obvious. She knew even if she did confront him it was rather useless, he wouldn't stop what he was doing. She also knew he was part of some sort of gang. she had read a text message on his phone one night while he was in the shower. The text had read. _boss wants 2 see u, there is some1 we gotta deal wit. T_

_..._

The garage door of his massive three story home, automatically opens as he pulls up into it. He runs his hand through his hair as he walks to grand entrance of his house, and opens the door and walks in. The inside is massive, and welcoming. It's a mix of traditional and classic style. Cream walls, with burgundy curtains, and antique furniture. He sighs heavily and hangs his bag on the wall hook.

"Ste..that you?" An woman calls out. She comes from behind the corner wall, she has blonde hair, blue eyes, and is dressed in pink floral pint sun dress. She walks over and gives him a warm hug and pulls back.

"How was class, sweet heart."

"Alright." He says. She looks at him closely.

"Something wrong love?" She asks lifting his chin.

"No, mum, just bit tired, ya know it being Uni and all, ain't same as high school." He says with a slight smile.

"Where's da?" He asks changing the subject.

"He's at a meeting, should be here less than an hour." She explains.

"Get changed...gonna set the table, we're having ya favorite dish tonight." She smiles.

He walks up the spiral steps, and heads to his room, which is pretty big. Everything is tidy and neat. He walks into his walking closet and changes into a simple T-shirt and jeans. He takes off his glasses and wears another pair, with black rims. Those are his regular glasses. He joins his mom, and helps her set the table, his dad soon arrives, and greets him with a warm hug. He loves his parents, and is afraid of ever disappointing them, which is one reason why he decided to go to Uni, because he wants them to be proud of him. His dad asks him how his day was, says it was alright, nothing too special. He could never tell them the truth, they would make him change schools right away and even probably involve the police, and he didn't want to go through all the hassle. It was nothing new, he's been used to being picked on during high school as well. Always called a pussy, twiggy, pansy, four eyes. He always tried his best to ignore them. Never understood what about him made him a subject to bullying. Might be his tiny frame, his glasses, or how quiet he is, or maybe the way he dresses. There's nothing wrong with how he dresses though, just a bit nerdy maybe, but it's a common look he believes.

Next morning he gets ready for his early class, _chemistry class_, he doesn't know what he wants to be at the moment, doesn't really matter, since it's just freshmen year, has another year to think of it. One thing he knows for sure is he enjoys cooking, and the Uni offers culinary courses. He puts on a white button up, with a navy blue sweater vest, and pairs it with gray fitted kakis. He wears his glasses brushes his hair back just a bit, not too much. He heads down the steps and he can smell the break fast. His mom always prepares him breakfast even though he tells her not too.

"It's alright love, I want ya to be full when studying." She says. He eats up quickly, kisses his mom on the cheek and heads out the door.

Class is still empty when he gets inside. He sits in one of the front row desks, and brings out his book. Soon students start flooding in, talking and laughing. He notices the girl, the one with blonde curls. She notices him.

"Ay, you have this class too?" She asks with a bright smile.

"Yea..." He says with a slight smile.

"Is it alright if I sit here?" She asks.

"Of course."

He scoots his seat over, giving her space to sit down on hers.

"I am proper nervous about this class, I've always hated Chemistry but, I need to take it."

"Ya a freshmen?" He asks.

"Sophomore actually, but had to stay back a semester, you know, life happened." She laughs. He smirks, she's the first person who's really talked to him since he started Uni, well it's been only bloody two days now. Today seems to be much more of a better start, that's till he sees him walk in. Cheryl's eyes widen when she notices him.

"God, that's me brother, he won't stop stalking me." She says, meant as a joke, but Ste doesn't think so, because the man looks like a right nutter; he looks like Freddie Cugger with a stache that only should belong on a eighties porn star, however it somehow strangely suits him, but he's so fucking out of place it's ridiculous, with his spiked up dark hair, the silver earing, and cross chain, wearing the same leather jacket, and dark clothes.

"Ay Chez." He says, with a smirk, it soon falters when he see's the boy sitting next to her.

"I am not even gonna ask, just go to the back or something." Cheryl says not even looking at him. Ste can't help but stare at him.

"Gotta problem boy?" He drawls. Cherly gives him the eye.

"Brendan leave him alone, and get your ass to the back somewhere." She says.

"No, I'll sit right here." He says, and walks to the desk that's empty behind Ste. He sits down, leans against the fucking seat and puts his hands behind his hand, and lets his long legs hang out in the open, where if anyone passed by they could trip. Ste feels hot over, he feels like sweat is about to drip out of his pours, he can feels Brendan's eyes drilling through the back of his head, he turns his head just a little, and fuck he's right, Brendan's looking at him like he's about smash his head on the desk. He turns his head back right away.

"I am Cheryl by the way, you can call me Chez if you like."

"I...I am Ste." He says. Brendan can't stand his accent, he doesn't think it fits with his goody too shoes image. He looks up and down the boys body, bloody hell, like a fucking twig.

"Hello everyone, pleased to see you all seated, I am going to be your professor for this class, I am Mr. Fox, you can call me Warren if you like, whatever is fine." The professor says. Brendan can't help but stare at the professor. He wants to laugh, he's a bulky guy with a thin layer of hair on his head. He sits up just a bit, he's in the front so he's got to be a little more assertive, doesn't want to get kicked out like he did yesterday for fucking throwing paper balls into a trash bin while the teacher was in middle of a lecture.

"Alright, since, it's just first class, I will just hand you guys the overview for the whole semester, and we will look over it, if you have any questions just let me know." Mr. Fox says.

He hands the papers to everyone and has them look through it. He reads out everything, and what the plan for the semester is, Brendan doesn't even bother reading it. Not like he's going to do the work. He doesn't give a shit if he fails, he's only here because of his sister, so as long as he can stay he will. Brendan just stares at the boy and Cheryl who seem to engrossed in the what's happening. He can't help it, he moves his feet, and kicks the boys foot. Ste turns his head, and looks at Brendan.

"What?" He asks. Ste swallows.

"Nothing?" He says in a quiet tone and turns his head back.

"Something wrong?" Mr Fox says, Brendan turns his him.

"No, Mr. Fox, just looking over ye little plan." Brendan drawls, Mr. Fox looks at him.

"Well if you have a question let me know." He says and walks down towards back of the room. The class ends pretty soon. Mr. Fox tells them to get certain book for the class, and a binder to keep notes in. Brendan still hasn't bought anything, where as Cheryl she's overload. They stand up to get out. Brendan gets out of his chair, and follows Cheryl.

"I'll see you next class." She says to Ste as he walks off. Brendan looks at him go, then turns to Cheryl.

"Ye seriously talking to that little twat." Brendan says sounding almost offended.

"Shut up, he's very sweet." She says

"Ye fancy him or something?" He asks. Her eyeswiden.

"What? Where did that come from?" She asks looking shocked.

"Well ye can't stop talking to him, and I saw ye's exchanging numbers."

"So what, if you had read the overview you would have seen, it said to exchange numbers with each other incase we miss something in class." Cheryl says and rolls her eyes.

"And so what if I was, what's it got to do with you." She says.

"Ye serious, so ye do fancy him...Chez I mean, I know I like woman, but I am not blind, I know when something that looks good, and that thing, I can break him between my fingers, and plus he looks like right snob."

"You don't even know him..." She defends.

"Neither do ye."

"There's never any end with you is there..." She says and turns and walks off.

"I'll wait outside for ye." He calls out.

He walks out the building, the sky is covered in dark clouds. He waits by the entrance, waits for half hour and Cheryl still doesn't show up. He calls her and she says she's staying behind to do some work for her science class, and tells him to not wait for her, that she will take the bus. He doesn't want to leave her, but he knows he needs to give her some space. He sighs heavily, puts his phone away. He walks to his motorcycle, when he notices the boy, who's walking towards his car. Brendan quickly runs. Ste reaches for the car handle, but before he can open it, Brendan grabs his arm, turns him, and shoves him against the door. His eyes open wide.

"Ye think ye can run from me boy, ye still owe me big time." Brendan growls. The dark skies roar above, and rain starts pouring down on them. The drops cloud Ste's glasses. Brendan pulls them off, he catches his breath, as he see's the boys eyes properly for the first time.

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><p><strong>Please Review?<strong> I want to know if you guys think its a good idea, or if it makes no sense what so ever, then I'll scrap it.


	2. Chapter 2

**...**

**Chapter 2**

**...**

He runs as quickly as he can, and trips, his hands scrape against the wooden floor. He breaths heavily, panting as he attempts to rise, but before he could _he's_ in front of him. Grabs him by his hair and pulls him down the dark dusty hall. A howling eerie wind blows through a flimsy white curtain, through a cracked foggy window, as he is dragged like a rag doll. Feels like his hairs are being pulled out from his scalp, he screams, but they are soundless, as he attempts to get out of his monstrous hands. A door creeps open, and an endless case of stairs lead down into a dark mist, he's dragged down mercilessly, his bones feel like they are breaking as they come in contact with the hard edges of the steps. Before he knows it, he's hanging up side down. Blood rushes to his head, he fee's like he can't breath. A bright light flashes, his closes his eyes, but they are forced open. The pain is excoriating, his eyes burn as the light peers through them. He screams, a menacing laughter deafens his ears. He's shaking uncontrollably, he hears a voice, he tries to scream, then he jolts awake, slickened with sweat. A hand in on his shoulder, looks up terrified, but it's just his mother. He breathes heavily. She sits on his bed and pulls him in her arms.

"Sshhhh, it's ok, it's ok, it's just a nightmare." She whispers, and kisses his sweaty forehead. He swallows, tears flow down his eyes.

"It's never gonna stop, is it?" He asks in a whimper. She pulls his head up, and looks it's his tear-filled eyes, she wipes her thumb over it.

"It will...it will, it takes time, but I promise it will." His mom says with a sweet voice and smiles, but he can see the sadness in her eyes.

He doesn't believe it...

_His mom Pauline would always drink her self to an oblivion whenever she couldn't deal with her problems. Her deranged, abusive husband Terry, would shout, swear and belittle her and many times beat her up right in front of his eyes, he was too scared too do anything. But then one day, the beating was too much, he screamed and begged him to stop, he tried to punch him with his little fists. But it was useless, he swung one punch at him that had him flying across the floor. Soon the beatings his mom took became his, and she allowed it. If he was hitting him, meant he was not hitting her. He would cry on top of his lungs for help, but his mom would have her back against him, siting on a dirty, ripped sofa rocking back and fourth watching TV, a small barely working one, or go to her room, like nothing was happening._

_"Ya piece of shit, who ya think ya are raising ya hand at me boy, I feed ya and ya pathetic mother, and this is how ya repay me." He hissed, as he kicked and punched him mercilessly. Most of the time he would just lose coconsciousness. Sometimes hours would pass before he would wake up with excoriating pain all over his tiny body. He would drag himself to the bathroom, he was barely tall enough to turn on the faucet. He saw his tiny face in the broke mirror, dried blood on his lips, bruises on his cheeks. That wasn't the only bruises, he was black and blue all over, like a Dalmatian. He would cry himself to sleep everyday till no more tears were left. _

_Fall as his favorite season, because it meant he could go to school, even though it was torture there too, it was better than being home. At least he had two meals, and didn't get beaten to death, and he liked learning; knowing new things, was always fascinated. Summer was worst, However it was summer. One summer was the worst ever, and was also one of the hottest. With no air conditioner in their rundown flat, he always sweat like a pig; his already skinny frame, just ended up getting thinner. The only food he ever got was some cereal with spoiled milk, his mom and step dad always wasted it by going gambling, and buying boxes of alcohol to feed their thirst. If he was lucky he would get left overs from a Chinese take out. He was only good for one thing, doing their chores. Washing dishes, cleaning, and on occasion he was forced to give Terry a back massage. He cringed every time his fingers had to touch his disgusting, mole spotted, hairy back. He would close his eyes when he did. _

_He couldn't even sleep because it was so hot, his mom and Terry at least had a flimsy fan. He would often wake up and drink water from the bathroom faucet not wanting to wake them up. He was never allowed outside, nor did he have any friends. When it was his eighth birthday, he was excited, and thought maybe since he had been a good boy he would finally get a gift, well that's what his mom and Terry had said, when they wanted him to steal things at shops. That night they both came home drunk. Terry was wobbling and mumbling incoherent words. His excitement faltered, he wasn't getting anything. But no, of course he did, just not what he wanted. Terry ordered him to wash his feet, because they where aching and dirty. He didn't want to, but was forced to, he brought over a pot full of warm water with a rag, he could barely carry it, water spilled out as he struggled._

_"If ya spill that, ya gonna lick it off the floor ya hear me boy." Terry slurs. He walks slowly and finally reaches, get on his knees, and swallows when he has to take off Terry's wet, socks, that had a fowl smell, one could describe as a dead rat, with rotten eggs. Terry lays back against the arm chair, with his eyes closed. His little hands shakes as he tries to touch his feet, the stench is over baring, and before he knows it, he throwing up over his feet. Terry is outraged, he kicks him and throws the pot at him, drenching him. _

_"Ya fucking shit!" He shouts, grabs him by the hair, and bring his foot next to his face._

_"Lick it off." He orders him. He shakes his head. "I..I am sorry." He whimpers in a barely audible voice. Terry pulls his hair harder and forces his face to his foot, smears it over his mouth, he cries, and tries to close his mouth as it comes in contact with his own vomit, and it just makes him vomit more. Terry kicks him in the face, blood runs down his nose, he covers his head as Terry kicks him mercilessly, till he has no more energy._

_Since he was bit older, Terry and his mom said he was now ready for older boy stuff. He didn't understand what it meant, but was some what excited, and scared. It wasn't anything he had expected though, at least at his age, he didn't even know what it meant. They used him to shoplift items that could easily be hidden under his shirt. They covered him while they would pretend they were looking through things. It soon became a habit, when they told him he could get something he wanted, he was beyond ecstatic. He looked around the shop and found a big toy car. He smiled brightly and told his mom he wanted it. She sneered at him and put on a fake smile when one of the costumers looked towards there way._

_"Later sweaty, get something else." She says in a fake sweet voice, a voice he's never heard from his mom. He frowns. She gently puts her hand on his head and rubs it._

_"Lets look over there." She says, where there are toy cars, that are smaller. _

_"Pick one of these say." She says quietly. Terry soon comes._

_"Ya done?" He asks in a low growl. He looks up at him._

_"Hurry up, we will be over there." He says, and gestures Pauline to follow. They expect him to steal it, but he comes to the front and shows them the car, read mini toy car with the number seven. He smiles up at them. Their face turn and they put on a fake smile, when they notice the cashier woman staring at them. They end up buying it. He's so happy, he can't wait to open it up. When they get in the car, the toy is snatched from him. He begs for it back, but Terry smacks him in the face telling him to shut up. He's dragged into the house and thrown to the floor. Terry beats him for making them waste money and smashes the toy car in his face, and throws it into the garbage. Days later he's taken to another shop, after been forced to listen to a long lecture of what he can and can't do. He's not allowed to ask for anything and only get what they ask of him to. They go to a different shop, however he's not lucky this time, one of the store workers spot him. She quickly catches him, and calls the cops, the police arrive. His parents pretend to be astonished and shocked. Apologize for what he did, saying he's a trouble maker and has been caught steeling many times before. The cops believe them, as they play the role of loving parents, with a troubled kid. _

_That night he's taken home, Terry slams the door shut and Pauline tells him to teach him a lesson. He tries to run, for the first time, he runs, but ends up tripping. Terry grabs his hair and drags him down the wooden basement stairs, he cries and struggles, but to no avail. His foot is tied and he's lifted up by his feet and tied up to a large wooden rod on the ceiling by rope. He begs for Terry to take him down. It's dark, musky. Blood rushes to his head. Suddenly a bright light, is flashed in his face. He closes his eyes tight, Terry shouts at him to open them. He can't, the lights blinding. Terry walks over to him, with a large flash light. Slaps him in the face. He forces his eyes open with his fingers. And holds the burning light to his blue eyes. He screams, as the light blinds him, his eyes lull to the back of his skull. Terry laughs menacingly, then turns the light off, and does it again couple more times, torturing him. He tells him it's his punishment for not seeing the woman when he tried to steel. He pulls him down, and ties him up, and locks him in the basement. He cries and cries, but no one can hear him. He doesn't know how long he's been in the basement, but all he knows he feels weak, he's hungry and thirsty. He see's some kind of smoke coming from under the crack of the door, it fills the basement._

_He wakes up, and there's a bright light, he thinks it's Terry torturing him again, but soon finds him self surrounded by people dressed in white, he's at the hospital. Their apartment had caught on fire accidentally by a lit cigarette. The neighbors had called the cops when they noticed smoke. Terry and Pauline were severely burned. Luckily they were able to put out the fire, before it had reached the basement. He was found by a policemen, and after a thorough investigation realized what had gone on. Pauline died from her wounds, and Terry was taken to prison after he was charged with child abuse and endangerment. He was taken to a adoption shelter._

_"This is Ste Hay, he's eight years old." The adoption agent said._

_"He's beautiful." A woman had said to him, bending down to his level. He stared at her with a blank face. Mrs. Daniel Jones, and Mr, Thomas Jones; wanted to have a child badly but were unable to and adoption was their last resort. They fell in love with him at first sight, he was quiet and barely talked, he looked like an angel. They wanted to file for adoption, but the adoption agency had informed them that he came from a very troubled family and if they were up for the challenge then they were willing to go through with the adoption process. It made them want him more. Soon Ste Hay was their son. They kept his name. _

_The first time they took him home, tears fell from their eyes when they noticed him look up at their home in awe. It took time, for him to get used to it, he would often wake up in middle of night screaming. Nightmares plagued his nights, and his parents began to worry about him. He still hadn't spoken a word no matter how much they tried to talk to him. They were suggested by a psychologist that he gets therapy. It was hard at first, but little by little he began to talk. They home schooled him for a year, and soon realized he was a very bright kid. They wanted to enroll him in school. Once he was examined, he was ready, his speech, health everything was good. Expect one thing, he needed glasses, which was not a big deal to them, many kids wore them. Ste was very uncomfortable at first with them, and had a tantrum every time he had to wear it, but over time he got used to it. He was top of his class, but he was very quiet and shy, and for it he was picked by other students, he just ignored them. But when his parents found out, they were furious and sent him to a new school, which was no different, he decided to keep quiet about it, didn't want to trouble his parents. Through high school he was still shy but had couple of friends, well at least he thought they where, till he found out they where just using him, they knew his parents where super rich. He was bullied mostly during his junior year as he started to grow, tall, and his features were more feminine than masculine, he hated it. Poof, queer, a girl, pansy, were some of the names he was called. He was glad he had glasses, felt they hid features a little. He never really dated anyone, even though some girls did actually did like him, at least he thought so, however he never had the courage to do anything about it, didn't think he was good enough. _

_For his graduation, and his 19th birthday his parents bought him his first car. A silver BMW. They bought everything a boy his age needed or should have. Games, toys, bikes, most expensive clothes, movies, anything you could think of. Not that he needed it, because what they gave him was more than anything money could buy, love. But he was terrified to be too happy, he was scared that one day he would wake up and find out it was all just a dream. But reality had sunk in, it wasn't a dream. His life was a reality, his life was in fact perfect, and he was thankful for everything, however his nights always took him back into the darkness, made him relive the terror. Sometimes he would see his parents faces in fire, as their flesh burned, they would laugh at him menacingly. Other times he would have nightmares of himself hanging up side down, till blood rushed to his head and poured out of his eyes, ears and mouth. Some others he just couldn't bare think about. Therapy had helped alittle, but still they never fully went away, he kept them away from his parents, didn't want them to worry. But his mom wasn't stupid, she knew he was still having them, because she could hear him whimpering and crying out in middle of the night. They reduced as he got older. Besides that, everything else was beyond what he could hope for. However even though the nightmares were no longer real, it effected him mentally, made him fear basements, lights, and even food. Something within him felt shallow and un-whole, that even his parents couldn't fill._

_..._

It's the weekend thank goodness, so he doesn't have to worry. He looks at his phone, there is a text message, he usually never gets text messages, when he does it's either telemarketing or his phone company giving information about new updates. He deletes it without looking, puts the phone down and heads into the shower. Lets the warm water cascade down his thin body. He's always been self-conscious at how skinny he is, and envied guys with toned muscular bodies. He comes out from the shower with his towel wrapped around his waist. He walks into his walk in closet and finds a T-shirt, and comfortable sweat pants. At home he dresses loosely and comfortably. Rubs a towel on his head, and lets his dry in place, he walks to his lamp desk and reaches for his glasses. His phone beeps. He picks it up, and looks, its another text message. It's weird, he doesn't usually just texts right after another. He opens it out of curiosity, his eyes widen. It's from Brendan.

Text Message: From Crazy Stacheman:

_don't 4 get 2 get it done BB_

He sighs heavily. The man is fucking crazy. He didn't think he was actually being serious. He would have rather have given him a big check, for the damage of his motorcycle, or even get punched. That's what he had thought would happen when Brendan has slammed him against his car.

_His heart races as he growls into his face. Rain blurs his vision, then Brendan takes off his glasses. He can't read his expression. He stares into his pale blue eyes as rain pours down his face. He's scared, because he doesn't even know the man, he looks fucking dangerous._

_"I..I am..sorry...I'll pay...for the damage." He says to Brendan in a whimper._

_"Get in the car." He says, and hands Ste his glasses. His eyes open wide._

_"Ye wanna pay for my clothes too?" Brendan says. He shakes his head, opens the door and Brendan hurries into the passenger seat. He looks a bit hesitant before heading into the drivers seat._

_"Nice, car." Brendan says with a mocking tone. Ste just looks at him like he's fucking crazy._

_"Give me your address, and I'll send ya a check." Ste says. Brendan raises a brow, licks his lips, cocks his head to the side and stares at Ste. It makes him uncomfortable, he already is self-conscious as it is, and having a man like Brendan staring at him makes him feel so small. He looks down at his fingers, fiddling with them._

_"There's another way ye can pay me back." Brendan drawls. Ste turns his head. Brendan's smirking._

_"What?" He asks in a small voice._

_"Do my assignments for class and I'll let ye go." He says. Ste's eyes open wide._

_"I..I can't do that, I can get kicked out for that, me." Ste says, his voice louder than usual, and it's the most he's spoken to him ever._

_"No ye won't, just do the work, doesn't have to be perfect, just as long as I can pass with it. I'll put my name on it, simple as." Brendan drawls. Ste swallows._

_"Can I just pay ya please, I'll make it double."_

_"As tempting as it is, I'de rather pass, I want...ye to do my assignments...end of." Brendan drawls, he looks high as fuck. He brings out his phone._

_"What's ye number?" He asks._

_"What?"_

_"I need ye number so I can contact ye, and pick up the work." Brendan says as if it's most obvious thing. He has no choice, obviously Brendan is not going to take no for an answer. He gives him his number and calls him so Ste can also get his._

_"Ye see that was easy, Steven." He drawls._

_"It's Ste." He corrects._

_"It's Steven to me, if ye got a problem with it, deal with it, see ye in class." Brendan drawls, and gets out the car, and slams his door shut. He watches on the side view mirror as Brendan hops on his motorcycle and roars off in the rain._

...

Brendan's phone beeps. He looks at it, and smirks, it's a text message from four eyes, that's what he put down on his phone for Ste.

_Text Message: From 4 eyes:_

_I won't. Ste_

Brendan's brows raise, and texts back.

_Text Message: To 4 eyes:_

_wut u mean u wont? BB_

He presses send. He waits for like an half hour and no reply. He sends another text.

_Text Message: To 4 eyes:_

_U better not be messing with me boy. BB_

He pressed send and waits, the reply comes fast.

_Text Message: From 4 eyes:_

_I am not, I said I am going to do it. Ste_

He smirks, he doesn't reply back. He gets up from bed, and groans. Walks into the kitchen, Cheryl is already preparing breakfast. She turns to him with a smile.

"Sleeping beauty has awaken." She jokes.

"Don't be jelly Chez." He drawls and yawns and runs his hand through his hair. He looks over Cheryls shoulder.

"What ye making?" He asks. She nudges him.

"Sit, your in my way." She bites, as she reaches for two plates from the cabinets. He pokes his head into the fridge and brings out a carton of orange juice, opens it and jugs it down.

"Brendan, how many times have I said not to do that." She yells.

"Tastes better this way." He says, as he wipes his stache. She shakes her head and walks to the small table for two and sets the plates down. They have toast, with eggs and jam. Brendan's phone rings, and he excuses him self from the table. He always walks away from her when he's talking on the phone, she knows he's trying to hide things from her. She sighs heavily and eats her toast and egg. Brendan comes back minutes later, dressed in his leather jacket, hair spiked up, suited and booted. He grabs a toast.

"I'll be back tonight Chez...love ye." He says and kisses her quickly on the cheeks.

"When are you going to do the class assignment?" She asks.

"Later.." He says, grabs his helmet and heads out the door. It happens often, where he just gets up and randomly leaves throughout the day, never telling her where he's going. She doesn't bother asking, knows he wont like it.

...

He roars his motorcycle into a empty large abandoned parking lot covered by a concrete roof, that's supported by metal pillars. There are twenty six other motorcycles parked there. He parks next to them and gets off. He greets each and one of them.

"We've been waiting for you B." One of the man says. **_B_**, that's his code name.

"Alarm didn't go off, Where's **D**?." Brendan asks.

_**D**_, Danny, he's the leader of the gang, the one created it. Joining the gang had not been easy, perhaps the hardest thing he'd done in his entire life, but it was necessary, he had to not only prove to the gang he was cable but to himself.

He was rewarded with ten thousand pounds, and a brand new motorcycle with the letter _**B**_ on it. It was a dangerous and risky life, but it was what it was, gave its dues, and most importantly he was able to provide for Cheryl, and thats all that mattered.

Brendan had dropped out of school at the age of fourteen, to take care of his sister, after they had ran away from their dad, who was an abusive alcoholic. He'd take the abuse so that Cheryl wouldn't. She meant the world to him, the only thing in his life worth living for. She'd been the first person to accept him when he came to live with his, dad, and her mom. His mom had died from cancer when he was seven. So his dad took him in. He used to look up to his dad, because he was strong, intimidating and demanded everyones attention where ever he went. But then he'd come to realize his dad was someone he'd never be like, because he was nothing but a monster.

At the age of ten, his dad had him work in a club he owned. He'd tell him, _A man has to be strong and fight for what he wants, whatever the means, and cost. _Every night he was surrounded by his cronies, who were alcoholics like him. He had his first drink at the age of eleven. The abuse started months after he had turned eleven. His sister had accidentally broken their dads antique collection of whiskies. He raised his hands at her and Brendan charged at him, and pushed him away. He got the first beating then. He covered and took blame for anything Cheryl did, she was young and careless. He earned himself bruised ribs, and black eyes. The worse was when he was thirteen.

One day his dad came home drunk and angry, Brendan didn't even know why. He grabbed Brendan's arm and told him to get him another, Brendan had said no, and he got a beating of his life, he thought he was going to be killed, but then the beating stopped, he looked up at his dad, who looked so evil. His dad open his belt and unzipped his pants. Brendan was much wiser than his age. He shook his head and begged his dad. But his dad just grabbed him, held him down, he could smell his whiskey breath, he pulled down his pants. He panicked, he saw something on the ground tried to grab for it, but his dad caught him, and punched him hard in the face, knocking him out. When he woke up he was sore, he winced and noticed his pants were pulled up, when he went to the restroom, he wiped himself, there was blood. He cried four hours. He was angry, and hated his dad, wished he was dead, but what he feared most was, if his dad had ever done it to Cheryl. He panicked and found Cheryl, and without telling her, he asked if his dad had ever played the game of touching her down there. She was young and naïve and she said no. She seemed jealous, it made Brendan cringe. He told her it was not a fun game and to never let dad do it to her, said it was a bad and painful game. But then one day he had come back from the club, and found Cheryl on the ground with a bloody face, his heart stopped. He ran to her, held her, and asked her what had happened. She cried and said dad had beat her after telling him about the game. He quickly had grabbed Cheryl's arm and without taking anything ran, ran as fast as he could, she cried, not wanting to go, but he forced her.

They ran till they could no longer run. Spent their first night under a bridge, he held Cheryl in his arms, trying to keep her warm. They spent other days wondering streets, all dirty, cold and hungry. They picked out of garbage bins near restaurants. Cheryl cried everyday saying she wanted to go home. But Brendan told her that Dad was bad and if they went she would no longer be able to play, that she would have to sleep forever. Cheryl didn't like sleeping a lot, and when Brendan said it she had shook her head. Days became weeks, weeks became months, and they were desperate. He needed to get his sister a place to stay, she was getting weak, and very sick. He needed to provide for her, luckily he looked much older than his age. He found a job as a paper boy, it helped with food, and he was able to sneak himself with his sister into a shop which had an open garage with a heating system. Months after doing work as a paper boy, he got involved with other kids his age, who dealt with drugs, soon he was dealing. He was able to afford a very broken down apartment with one room, but it was good enough. He enrolled his sister into school, she was a bit behind, but it didn't matter she was very bright, she caught up fast. While she was at school he dealt with drugs and other dangerous activities, almost got him self killed many times. He made sure Cheryl never knew about what he was doing. After three years of dealing with drugs, he had enough money to afford a nicer apartment, one with two rooms, in a decent area.

One day Cheryl had come home shaken, tears in her eyes. He asked her what had happened, and she told them that some guys, were bullying her, and had harassed her. He went berserk. He made her point them out, he and couple of his friends, followed them from school, and beat the shit out of them, almost killed one of them. He was going to but heard the sirens and they ran away. He had Cheryl change schools after wards. During her senior year in high school she went to prom with her friends. However little did she know Brendan had followed her to the school, so that she was safe, he waited outside for her, watched her walk out and then had seen two guys attack them. He brought out a knife he had and ran towards them He punched one, and he got hit back. He stabbed one of them in the leg, and the other on the side, they ran away with their wounds. Cheryl and her friend where shaken, he took them home afterwards.

When she graduated from high school, they moved into another apartment, that was closer to the University she was attending. He was nervous for her, didn't want to be on dorm but she wanted to and told him that she's no longer a little girl, wants to experience college life like everyone else. The first semester went well, he always would go to her dorm and see if she was ok. She started to become annoyed, and told him to stop being so paranoid. But then one day she was mugged on her way to her dorm, she had been beaten up, almost to an inch of her life. Brendan had ran to the hospital in tears, shaken, screaming out for Cheryl. When he saw her in the state she was in, he broke down, punched the wall over and over, Cheryl had begged him to stop, said she would do whatever he wanted as long as he stopped. He stained the wall with his blood, turned to her with red eyes, and held her hands in his, and kept saying I am sorry over and over.

He blamed himself for not watching after her properly. She came out of the dorms, and decided to stay with him in their apartment. She dropped out from college for at least a year. Brendan understood her. She stayed home and home schooled her self. But then she got tired of being cooped in and wanted to go back, said she had to put what happened behind her. She wasn't going to be in dorms though, so that made Brendan happy. But Brendan hadn't told her he had applied to go to the University, even though he never went to school for long, he was very smart, so passing the test for the Uni was not as hard as he expected. He secretly signed up for the same classes as Cheryl, he knew she would eventually know, but it was better to not tell her till she found her self. He was not going to let what happened to her ever happen again even if that meant sitting down in classes wasting his time. Only Walker knows he has a sister, he doesn't want anyone else knowing about his private life, and Danny never asks, doesn't care what they do as long as it doesn't effect the gang. He told Danny he was going to Uni for his own personal reasons, he's only taking three classes, Danny was fine with it as long as it didn't interfere with his job in the gang.

They are know as the _L Gang_ by people, because each of the Motorcycles have a letter on it. The motorcycles were Danny's idea, said it was a good cover up as well as easy way to get to places. People thought they were just a gang of harmless Motorcyclists, but nonetheless, they still were intimidating and people didn't want to know what would happen if they ever crossed them. They kept their dirty jobs on a low key, didn't want the police to get involved, even though they knew they where being watched. They are well organized, everything they do is meticulously planned and calculated, so that they don't get caught. Brendan earned his way to Walkers level. They both are now Danny's right hand men, the ones he trusts most. They ride along side Danny every time, riding around allows them to map the city well, and find out places where their operations could take place, and keep an eye out for any potential threats. Danny had many enemies who were also competing with him. He was ready to do whatever it was, he was worried how he would get through with classes while being in the gang, but it changed when he found the perfect solution; the boy, _Steven._

...

Ste arrives on campus earlier than usual. He looks at his phone. Couple second later, his phone beeps.

Text Message: From Crazy Stacheman:

_Almost there, wait in class. BB _

Ste sighs, he gets out of the car and heads to history class twenty minutes earlier than usual. He sits down nervously, licking his lips, and looks around makes sure know one is coming. His legs shake as he waits, he's getting impatient and its twenty minutes before class starts. He sends another text.

Text Message: To Crazy Stacheman:

_You here yet? Ste_

He doesn't get a reply, he see's Brendan walking in. For some reason his heart starts racing, he has no idea why. He straightens himself up, feels like the collar of his shirt tightening around his skinny neck. Brendan has a blank expression and like always he's dressed in all black, only this time he has on a black button up, with couple buttons undone, the dark chest hairs on his pale skin visible. Brendan walks passed him without evening saying anything and sits in the back seat. He quickly looks at the door making sure no one is coming.

"Give it to me." He says in deep voice, and fuck his voice sends shivers down Ste's body. He doesn't know why he's feeling the way he is, it's alien to him, he must just be very afraid, and nervous, he should be because if he is caught he's dead meat. He reaches in to his bag and flips open his book, and pulls out the paper, and drops it to the floor. Brendan bends down and picks it up. He looks at it and smirks. Top of it says:_ Brendan Brady, History 108, Chapter 3, Analysis, September 15, 2014. _

"Good boy." He says. Suddenly students start coming in, Brendan doesn't move out of his seat. Cheryl comes in minutes later. She's surprised to see Brendan.

"The world must be coming to an end." She says as walks up to them.

"Wanted to get ahead in class." Brendan says. She raises her brow.

"Did you manage to get to get the analysis done?" She asks and sits by Ste.

"Hey love..." She asks him, and smiles at him sweetly.

"Hiya." He replies.

"Right here Chez." Brendan says in the back. She turns her head, and her eyes widen. She takes the paper from him, and looks at it.

"Oh my god, Bren, you really did it, when did you get the book?" She asks shocked.

"Barrowed it from Steven." He says. Ste swallows, and Cheryl looks at him, then looks back at Brendan, points her finger.

"When did you two become mates?" She asks confused. Ste stays quiet, he doesn't want to say anything that will get him in trouble.

"No body said anything about being mates, I just asked Steven if I could barrow it since he already finished his early." Brendan says. Cheryl smirks.

"What?" Brendan says.

"Nothing, just happy that you both are getting along." She says. He raises his brow. Suddenly the professor walks in.

"Ste, what's her name, I always forget?" Cheryl asks in a whisper to Ste, Brendan can hear her though.

"Mrs...Mrs..wait let me check my schedule" He looks at it. "Mrs. kra..ba...pple..Mrs. Krabappel." He says. Brendan laughs, his laugher is nothing like anyone has ever hear, Cheryl, Ste, everyone, including the professor stare at him.

"There something you would like to share with us Brady?" Mr. Krabappel says. Brendan stops laughing and makes a serious face and looks her straight in the eye.

"No...Mrs... Krab..a..ppel." He drawls and couple of students chuckle. She looks at them and they all stop. He's tries to keep him self from laughing too. She turns around and walks to her desk. Cheryl rolls her eyes at Brendan, and shakes her head.

"Alright everyone, I hope you have your analysis ready, I will gather them, and then we will discuss it." She says. Fuck. Ste looks back and Brendan quickly whose got a constipated look on his face. He has no idea what the heck chapter three is even about. Brendan groans lightly and pinches the bridge of his nose. Ste turns back around. She walks around collecting everyone's and seems surprised when Brendan gives his paper to her. Brendan's phone beeps. Mr. Krabappel turns.

"I am sure you all know the rules about having mobiles, they must be on silent." She says. Brendan puts it on silent and notices he has a text message.

Text Message: From Steven:

_Chapter 3 discusses the roman empire_

_and how they had the first form of a_

_democratic government which_

_became a model that many_

_country followed or at least were inspired by it._

_Countries like US, England, Germany,_

_Spain__, France._ _Ste._

Brendan grins, fucking hell, Steven's not much of a twat as he thinks, but then again he owes him, so this is probably why he's even telling him.

"Alright, who wants to start first?" Mrs. Krabappel asks, as she stands next to her desk looking at students. No one raises their hand. Brendan looks away so she doesn't look at him, but of course he has shit luck.

"Brady, why don't you start, since you we passed you last week." She says. Fuck. He quickly look down at his phone in his lap, and looks up at her.

"Umm...well.." He clears his throat. "Chapter 3 discusses, the Roman empire, and how they had the earliest form of a democratic government, which became a role model for many other countries, such as ours, the United States, Germany and others." Brendan says.

"Very good Brady, anyone else has anything to add." She asks, someone raises their hand. Ste's phone vibrates in his pocket. He secretly looks at it.

Text Message: From Crazy Stacheman:

_Thank ye BB_

Ste unconsciously smiles slightly. He doesn't respond back. The three hours go by with everyone discussing chapter three and the start of chapter four. Brendan tries so hard to not fall asleep.

"Ste love, we're going to the cafeteria, wanna join us?" Cheryl asks as they leave the class.

"Ummm..." He says and looks at Brendan, as if he's trying to get his approval. Brendan looks at him.

"Yea, ye need some bones on those chicken arms of ye's." Brendan drawls. Ste looks down at his arms, and pouts a frown. Brendan can't help but notice how his lips look when they pout. He turns his head, and starts walking.

"Come-on girls." He calls out. Cheryl smiles and pulls Ste to follow them. Brendan once again fills his plate, Cheryl still picky as well as Ste, he rolls his eyes at them.

"I understand why Cheryl needs to watch what she eats..."

"I heard that Brendan." Cheryl says as she picks up some salad. "But ye Steven, ye..." He looks Ste up and down, makes Ste feel self-conscious. "Ye like stack of bones, need some meat on that boy." He drawls.

"I do eat, me." He says, and starts to filling up his plate, he usually doesn't pick so much up, but wants to show Brendan he can eat a lot, doesn't even know why he wants to prove it to him. They sit at an empty table in the corner of the cafeteria. Ste stares up through his lashes, as Brendan shoves the food down. He can't believe how the man eats like a pig, and has such a figure, maybe that's why he does, because he eats a lot.

"So how's your other classes going?" Cheryl asks and takes a bite of her salad.

"They are fine, bit boring at the moment." Ste says. Cheryl smiles.

"Yea I agree."

"Really?" Brendan asks, with a full mouth.

"What?" Cheryl says.

"That's all ye have to talk about, is classes?" Brendan says.

"Yea well we happened to actually care about them." Cheryl responds and takes a bite of her bread bun.

"Right." Brendan drawls. He notices Ste still has barely touched his food.

"Ye not eating." He says to Ste.

"I am." He says.

"Ye barely have touched anything." Brendan say. Why the fuck does he care.

"Not everyone has a big appetite like you Bren." Cheryl says. Ste takes a bite of his pizza, and the oil goes all over his lips, he licks it. Brendan's notices it, then he looks away when Ste looks up.

They eat in awkward silence.

"I am gonna get going, I have some work to do before class." Ste says.

"Alright love, I'll see you tomorrow." She says. Ste stands up and picks up his plate, and picks up his bag.

"Right see ya." He says, and walks off. Brendan watches as his tiny frame walks out of their sight. Soon Cheryl and him finish and head to their class too. Cheryl tells Brendan that she's not going home straight away, she's meeting up with a team member for a group project they are doing. He says he will wait, but she insists he goes home, says she will be fine; that she will be in the library and will call him if she needs anything. Brendan heads out to the parking lot. Each student can pick a parking lot and it's theirs till the semester ends. He see's Ste standing by his car. Ste's parking area is four lots away from his. The closer he gets he notices his car is smashed, and on it is written in red, _QUEER._

"Steven?" He says. He startles him, when he looks at him, Brendan can tell he has been crying.

"Who did this?" Brendan asks in a deep growl.

"Dunno..." Ste responds in a broken voice as tries to wipe the writing off the car with a his sweater. Brendan walks around the car inspecting it. The windows are smashed and tires are flattened. He sighs heavily, he looks at his phone, and dials a number.

"Can we get a tow truck at 402 Chester University, Brineston Campus." Brendan says. Ste looks up at him in surprise.

"Alright, thank ye." Brendan says and hangs up.

"They will be here in fifteen minutes." Brendan says, and walks over to Ste.

"Ye alright?" He asks him. Ste nods.

"I don't want me parents to know." Ste says in a quiet voice.

"Then don't tell em." Brendan says.

"Ye think ye know who might have done this?" Brendan asks.

"No..." Ste says a quiet tone, and he's not lying he doesn't know who did it.

"Anyone else bothering ye?" He asks looking at Ste curiously. Ste shakes his head.

"No, was only that last time." He says. Brendan sighs heavily, bites his lips, and runs his thumb over his bottom lips, his cheek ticks.

"If...if anyone's bothering ye, let me know yea." Brendan says in a quiet growl, like he almost doesn't want Ste to hear. Ste looks up at him, with a confused look. Brendan's offering him help. Can't be, he must just be thanking him for saving his ass in class today.

"I am fine..." Ste says. Brendan nods his head.

"Right." He says in a mocking tone.

"I am...I can handle me self right." Ste say his voice bit louder than usual. He doesn't Brendan to think he's some weak pansy like everyone else. Brendan looks at him, and cocks his head.

"Whatever ye say." Brendan says. They stay in awkward silence for a few minutes, Brendan looks through his phone, it's getting dark. Soon the tow truck arrives, he waives his hands for them. Ste gives them his information, and they say they will have it at car repair and give him the address once it's done. Said it should take at least two days. The tow truck leaves with his car.

"See ya.." Ste says and heads off walking. Brendan gets on his motorcycle, and passes him, but then stops. He looks back, and Ste's looking down and boy does the kid look vulnerable, and it's getting late. Ste see's him and stops. Brendan drives his motorcycle towards him.

"Ye wanna lift?" He asks. Ste's eyes open wide.

"What?" He asks.

"Ye wanna lift, I can ye home if ye like."

"It's alright, I can take the bus." Ste says.

"Suit ye self." He says and drives off. Ste watches as he goes, then he sulks and walks to the bus stop. The bus comes and he reaches into his wallet, and fuck, it's empty. He comes back off the bus, and starts walking. Suddenly a motorcycle stops next to him, it's Brendan. He takes off his helmet.

"What ya doing here?" He asks with wide eyes.

"I went to give something to Chez, saw ye getting off the bus." He says, a bloody lie, he had actually parked across the street near the bus stop, waiting till Ste got on the bus. Ste frowns.

"Forgot me money." He says.

"Hop on." Brendan says. Ste hesitates but he knows it's dangerous to walk home late at night, and his house it probably more than two hours away by foot.

"Is it safe?" Ste asks.

"Yea it is, I've been riding for years." Brendan hands his helmet to Ste.

"What about ya?" Ste asks.

"I am fine, I ride many times without it."

Ste puts on the helmet, it's a bit big for his head. Brendan scoots forward a little to give him more space. He slowly gets on the back, feel awkward.

"Hold on to the side bars, or my waist." Brendan says. Ste hold onto the bars.

"Ready?" Brendan asks.

"Yea." Ste replies. Brendan steps on the peddle and roars his motorcycle to life and speeds off. Ste jolts, his hearts beating. He's never been on a motorcycle in his life. The cold wind blasts against him. Brendan's back is against him, he can't help but notice how strong Brendan looks. His broad shoulder and his narrow wait, he can see bit of his pale skin just above the waist band of his jeans, and where his leather jacket has risen. He notices the clean cut of his hair in the back. It's slickly brushed back. Brendans stops at a red light.

"Where's ye home?" Brendan asks.

"..ummm..184 Mulburry St." Ste says. When the light turns green, Brendan drives off faster causing him to tilt backwards, and before he knows it he's holding onto his waist. Brendan flinches, his stomach caves at the sudden grasp. The coldness of his leather jacket seeps through the material of his knit sweater, but he can feel the heat of Brendan's body through the material of his jacket. They drive in silence, about ten minutes later Brendan drives into a large driving way. His eyes open when he notices Ste's house. It's massive. He was right all along, had a feeling Ste was one of those spoiled rich kids who had everything. He parks just outside of the garage. Ste gets off the motorcycle.

"STE?" His mom calls out and runs towards him. Ste takes off the helmet and gives it to Brendan.

"please go." Ste says with a look of panic on his face. Brendan looks at him with a serious face then back at his mother whose looking at him like he's a menace, a pest. Brendan stares back with a deadly glare, he sneers, wears his helmet, roars his motorcycle to life, and speeds off.

"Ste, who was that?" She asks with a serious tone. Ste swallows.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you everyone for the lovely comment, hope your still interested in it! ^_^

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

...

They were riding down the street at night. Brendan, Walker, Danny, and rest of the gang. Suddenly one of them is hit on the side by a SUV, their motorcycle swerves, and skids on the street. Some of them stop, and get off their motorcycles to help him. They are angry, no one ever gets away with hurting one of them. Brendan, Walker and the couple others ride fast to catch up the black SUV. It tries to drive away, but they surround it, and force it to stop. Brendan gets off his bike, takes of his helmet and uses it to smash the back window, and the others follow. Suddenly the window rolls down, and a woman shouts at them, saying they have called the police. Brendan's eyes widen, fucking hell. He recognizes her. It's Ste's mom. He quickly puts his helmet back on, hopes she didn't recognize him, he rushes back onto his motorcycle, followed by the rest, and they rush off before the police come.

They head to an exclusive club, Danny runs, and they drink the night away, surrounded by sexy women, who dance for them, and give them strip tease. It's Danny's prize for them, for a successfully operating a operation, and brought in thousands worth of drugs. Brendan brings one of the girls home, and starts ripping her close off right by the door; Cheryl walks in her eyes widen.

"Oh god, at least take it to the dam room." She says, and rolls her eyes, and heads up to her room. Cheryl's gotten tired of telling him to stop bringing them home, he always tells her it's better here than at some hotel where he has to waste money. She's gotten used to it, always comes home with a new one, she wishes he would find some decent woman, and date her, rather than just fucking different ones every time.

The woman starts ripping Brendan's close apart, and he lifts her in his arm and takes her to the living room.

After having his way with the woman, he kicks her out, he takes a shower, and heads to bed afterwards. He sighs heavily, and thinks about what happened that evening. He hadn't expected to see Ste's mom, and if she already hasn't disliked him, she definitely does now, but fuck it, why does he care what she thinks. It's not like he's going to see her again. He just took Ste home that night because he felt bad for the boy, having to walk home so late in the night, but that was about it, and it's never going to happen again he says to himself.

...

"Who was that?" His mom asks. Ste licks his lips in nervousness.

"Ummm, oh...just a classmate, I missed the bus, so he offered me a lift." Ste quickly explains.

"You should have called me, I could have picked you up love; I don't want you riding with that man again alright, I know his type." She says with a serious tone.

"Mum, you can't just say that, you don't even know him." Ste says his voice bit high. His mom looks surprised.

"Look, Ste I am not trying to judge, but I just have a bad feeling about him; your my only son, and I don't want you to get involved with the wrong people, I don't want you to get hurt, I am just trying to look out for you."

"Look I am fine mum, all he did was bring me home, nothing happened." Ste says.

"I know, I just get worried that's all, there are lots of bad people out there..." She sighs. "...come-on lets get inside, I've made your favorite dish, your da's on his way." She says with warm smile. Ste smiles lightly, and follows his mom into the house. He goes up to his room and changes out of his clothes. Get's into the shower, he leans against the tile wall, the water cascades down on him, her runs his hands over his face. His thoughts go to Brendan. He was honestly surprised that Brendan helped him out, he saw something in him he hadn't seen before or even thought was possible, than again, he's doing Brendan a favor, well not a favor but paying back for what he did to his motorcycle. So Brendan's probably just being nice to him, so that he keeps doing his work. Right, he almost forgot, he needs to get Brendan's home work done for the other class. He sighs heavily, and washes his body quickly. Afterwards he looks at his phone, no new text messages, doesn't know why he's expecting one. He leaves his phone in his room and heads downs stairs.

His mom is setting the dinning table. She smiles at him.

"Want me to help mum?" He asks walking over to the kitchen.

"No sweet heart, you must be tired and hungry, just sit down, your da is gonna be down in a minute too."

He smiles and takes his seat, his mom brings over the main dish, he looks at it in awe, loves her food.

"Smells delicious." He says with a bright smile. She rubs his back with her palm of her hand.

"All for you sweet heart." She says and kisses his temple.

"Tom hurry up, dinner's ready." She shouts out.

His dad soon heads down, with a big grin on his face. He puts his arm around Ste's shoulder and gives him a kiss on the head.

"Evening son."

"Evening Da, how was work?" He asks with smile.

"Just the usual, quiet busy, I think I might open another branch to the restaurant, we're getting pretty busy."

"That would be good." His mom says.

"Yea, if ya think it's worth it." Ste adds.

"Well I'll think about it more later...anyway, how was your week at school, your mum said your car broke down, what happened?" He asks as he takes a bit of his lasagna. Ste swallows, he sticks his fork in his salad.

"Umm, it wouldn't start, seems like it was the engine or something, it's at the car repair now, they said it will be fixed in two days." He explains.

"If something else happens let me know, I'll get you a new one." He says. Ste eyes widen.

"No, no, it's fine Da, ya guys spend way too much on me already, I don't want to keep burdening you guys." He says. His mom and dad look at each other and then back at him. His dad reaches for his hand and holds it.

"Ste, don't ever say that. You will never burden us, we are working hard, so that we can spend on you, give you anything you need and want, what ever we get you is because we want too, it makes us happy seeing you happy. Your the greatest son we could have ever asked for, we are grateful to God everyday for giving us such a precious gift, we could never ask for more, so please don't ever think your a burden." He says with a warmth and sincerity. Ste's eyes water, a tear runs down his cheek.

"I am sorry." He says quietly and wipes his eye. His dad stands up from the table and hugs him. His mom wipes her tears that are running down her face. She stands up too and hugs them both. Ste starts crying more, and they hold him tighter. After a few minutes, they finally part, his mom turns his head and lowers herself. She wipes his face, and takes his head in-between her hands.

"We love you, no matter what, we always will, all we want is for you to be happy." She says and kisses him on the cheek.

"I love you guys too." He says and sniffs. His dad ruffs his hair.

"Come-on eat..." He says with a smile.

After they finish eating, Ste helps his mom pick up the plates, and she washes them. His dad calls him to the living room, he sits down on the sofa next to him. His see's an envelope in his dads hand.

"What is it?" He asks curiously.

"Open it." He says and hands it to Ste, with a smile. He opens the envelope, his eyes widen.

"Da, how...this is...is..but.." He can barely speak.

"It's an early birthday gift." He says with a wide smile.

"What's going on?" His mom asks as she walks towards them. Ste turns around and holds it up to his mom.

"Da booked a trip to the Italy for me, for a week." He says in surprise. His mom's eyes widen with excitement and she quickly sits down next to him and takes the ticket and looks at it.

"Wow...really... that's amazing...it's the day after Christmas.." She says. Ste frowns.

"What's the matter love?" She asks.

"But it's just me alone." He says.

"You won't be going alone, there's two tickets." His dad says. His moms and his eyes widen. He looks into the envelope and see's another one.

"One of ya coming with me?" He asks excited.

"No, I got another one, so you can take your girlfriend with you." He says with a cheesy smile. Ste blushes.

"I knew it, you have one don't you?" He dad says with a big smile. His mom's mouth widens.

"Really Ste, do I know her?" She asks.

"No Mum, I don't have any..right now." He says quietly.

"That's impossible, girls must be all over you, with those good looks of yours." His dad says.

"He's just being shy, come-on tell us, who is it?" His mom nudges him.

"Mum, I really don't, I'de tell ya if I did."

"Well I am sure by then you will have one, so I'll save it for you till then, and you could surprise her with it." His dad says.

"I did that with your mum, when I asked her out actually." His dad says. His mom raises her brow.

"Oi, it was just to London, not Italy." She says. His dad laughs.

"I was bit broke then, I made up to her later though." He says, and he winks at her. Ste smiles at them fondly, he loves the bond, and loyalty, and love they have for each other.

"He was very stingy then." His mom says. Ste laughs.

"I had my reasons, anyways got you this so that you could take your special someone with you, and you never know you might end up like your mum and me, find a true love to make you happy like we are." He says and looks at his wife, they both smile warmly and look back at Ste.

"Thank ya Da, it's amazing." He smiles widely, and throws his arms over his dad and hugs him tightly.

They end up watching a comedy film, laughing, eating snacks through the night.

"I am going to head to bed now, I am proper knackered." Ste says once the movie is finished. His mom and dad give him a kiss and he heads up to his room. He looks at his phone, no missed calls or texts. He puts it back down, changes into his pajamas, and heads into his bed. He puts his arms under his head, and thinks about his trip to Italy, how it will be when he goes, he's always wanted to travel there, has seen it on TV, read about it, but never seen it in person. He wonders who that girlfriend will be, if he does get one by then. He sighs heavily, closes his eyes and smiles at the thought.

He's running down a stone paved path, stumbling on his way, old buildings are crowding around him, he feels like he can't breath, he's sweating heavily. He see's a building with an opened door, he runs inside, and shuts it quickly. A loud banging shakes the wooden door. He looks around, but it's dark, he panics as he tries to find a place to run to. The pounding becomes louder, and the door begins too crack. He runs to where ever he can, he ends up tripping. Soon a hand grabs his hair and pulls him, he screams and tries to get out of the monstrous hand. He's being pulled viciously on the cold ground, a door creeks open, and he's pulled down a long set of steps, till he hits the bottom. Soon he's hanging upside down, he looks around, it's dark, a bright light suddenly turns on, he shields his eyes with his hand. Soon he feels a terrible pain in his chest, he tries to grip it, but can't because the light is blinding. Suddenly he feels his hand being parted away from his face, the light blinds him, he screams. And a menacing laughter deafens him, but suddenly he's on the ground, and it's dark again, he hears a creek, he looks up, a light peers from up the steps, he see's a figure stood up there by the door, it holds out a hand to him. He crawls up towards the steps, but every time he tries to go up, he's pulled back, he screams in agony, as each pull rips the flesh of his hands and stomach. But he doesn't stop, he keeps on trying, his nails break as he tries hard to grip the stairs, but he's pulled back again. This time the pull is less forceful. He attempts again with all his might, he makes it up to the middle, and is pulled right back down, he screams torturously as he gets stabbed by pieces sticking out from it, blood stains the steps. But he tries again, this time he manages with painful steps up to the top, he looks up at the faceless figure, he reaches his hand out, then once again he's pulled back, but this time the hand grabs his, and pulls him, but at same time he's being pulled down as well, his body is feels like it's being ripped apart, he cries out agony, but the hand holds onto him tighter and pulls him with a greater force, causing him to fall over toward the light, suddenly he jolts awake. He holds onto his chest, breathes heavily, sweat is gathered at his forehead. It's still dark, he turns on his lamp. It was just another nightmare, but this one was different from the rest, it started out somewhere else, felt more real, he could hear his screams, but the ending was different, he's never seen another figure in it. He runs his hand over his face, and stands up, goes to the bathroom and washes his face with cold water. He looks at his phone, it's four in the morning. He turns on the TV, and watches random things, tries to not think about the nightmare, till he falls asleep again.

His parents are getting ready to head out from the house, they going to an party; tell him they will be back by later evening. So all day he has the house to himself, which he doesn't mind, because he has lots of homework to do. He watches some TV, but soon gets bored. Heads to his room and gets his work out of his bag, grabs his lap top and heads down stairs into the family room, lays down on the carpet, and begins his work. He looks at his phone. He see's a text message, it's from Cheryl. He smiles and opens it.

Text Message: From Cheryl:

_Hey Ste, just checkin 2 see how u doing_

_did u finish chapter five for history? Chez xoxo_

He smiles and texts back.

Text Message: To Cheryl:

_Hi, I am good, actually doing that now, _

_got bit lazy. How r u? Ste _

The reply comes half hour later.

Text Message: From Cheryl:

_soz 4 late reply, my brother really_

_is a pain, we just ate dinner, _

_asked him when he was _

_going to do his work and he just left. Chez xoxo_

Ste chuckles, of course he's not doing it, because he is doing it for him, but he can't tell her that. He replies back.

Text Message: To Cheryl:

_I am sure he will get it done. Ste_

Her reply is quick.

Text Message: From Cheryl:

_Don't care anymore, if he fails _

_then he can't keep bothering me_

_don't get me wrong I luv him _

_but I wish he would get off my back _

_sometimes. Chez xoxo_

Text Message: To Cheryl:

_Yea I get ya, he seems overly _

_protective, but honestly ur very lucky_

_to have a brother like that. Ste_

Text Message: From Cheryl:

_U don't have siblings? Chez xoxo_

Text Message: To Cheryl:

_No. Ste_

Text Message: From Cheryl:

_:( I am grateful 4 my brother, _

_he's done lot 4 me, more than _

_any1 in my life, I luv him more than _

_anything, it's just he thinks I am _

_still a little girl, I can handle my_

_self, __Soz if I am complaining_

_2 much. Chez xoxo_

Text Message: To Cheryl:

_No, I understand. U can _

_complain to me whenever u like :) Ste_

Text Message: From Cheryl:

_Thanx luv, c u 2morrow. Chez xoxo_

Text Message: To Cheryl:

_C u, have good night. Ste_

Text Message: From Cheryl:

_Night. Chez xoxo_

Ste puts his phone down on the ground, and smiles. He's glad he's made one friend at least. He doesn't know if he can consider Brendan a friend, because the only reason why Brendan's even talking to him is because he wants him to do his work. At least this time he doesn't have to write his history paper, because teacher didn't ask for it, but he's got to do it for his other class. He sighs heavily and begins the work.

He hears voices, he knows it's his parents, he stands up, it's later than he had expected. But he got his work all done at least. By the sound of it, it seems like they are arguing. He's never seen his parents argue. He walks to the front door, they stop right away when they noticed him.

He looks at them worriedly.

"What's wrong?" He asks. His mom sighs heavily.

"Your mum..." His dad says.

"Tom just leave it for tonight alright."

"No, he needs to know."

"Know what da?" Ste asks confused and worried. His dad bites his lips, and sighs.

"Ste, look we understand that you've got mates, and that you will meet knew people, but there are certain people you should stay clear of..." He dad begins.

"Da what ya talking about?" He asks totally confused.

"On our way back there, we accidently bumped into a motor bike, I didn't see it, it was so close to the car, nothing happened, but soon we were surrounded by a gang of motorbikes..."

Ste felt his heart beat, he already knew where this was heading.

"...we were forced to stop, five of them came up to us, three of them took their helmets off, and smashed the back window. We called the cops, then your mom recognized one of them, she said that he had brought you home, when your car broke down. She shouted at them, he must have noticed your mom too, because he quickly put on his helmet and headed back to his motor bike, the rest of the men followed him. She said he's a classmate of yours, is that true?" His dad asks. Ste swallows, and nods slowly.

"Yea...he is, but that's all I swear, I am sorry Da, if I had known he was like that I would've never ridden with him." Ste says. And it's true he wouldn't. He just thought Brendan owned a motorcycle, lots of guys do, because he like it, makes them feel badass, which it did make Brendan look. He looks badass from head to toe, but he never realized it was because he's a part of a gang.

"I am sorry, I promise I'll never ride with him again." Ste says. They walk closer to him. His dad puts his hand on his head, and smiles.

"It's not your fault, how were you suppose to know who he is, we trust you son, we just don't want you to get hurt, just be careful, and try to stay clear of him." His dad says. Ste nods.

...

Brendan walks in class, his eyes fall on Cheryl, who raises a brow at him. There's an empty seat next to her, he smirks and heads towards it. He gets ready to sit but she puts her on it.

"What ye doing?"

"It's enough we have the same class, I don't need you to be sitting next to me as well, plus it's Ste's. "

"He's not even here.." Brendan says with displeasure.

"He will be in any minute."

Brendan rolls his eyes, and sits in the seat behind, Cheryl turns her head and notices his expression, she laughs lightly. He raises his brow with a frown.

"What's so funny?" He asks.

"Your face...

"What's wrong with my face?" He asks defensively.

"Nothing wrong, but they way you are sulking, you look like a little kid, it's actually pretty cute." Cheryl says with a smile. Brendan can't help himself; corner of his lip turns into a smirk. Cheryl turns her head quickly when the professor walks in with a stack of paper and two books in her hand. Brendan cant help but laugh lightly whenever she walks in. She notices and raises her brow at him and he can tell she's about to say something, he winks at her, and fuck, she literally drops all the papers on the floor. Cheryl and couple students quickly stand and help her pick up the scattered papers.

"Oh it's fine I've got it, thank you." Mrs. Krabappel says as she bends and gets the papers from the students, she swallows and stands up straight, take the papers and quickly goes behind her desk.

"I apologize for my little mishap, been bit clumsy today." She excuses her self, looks up and notices Brendan with a slight crocked smirk on the corner of his lip, she looks away quickly and clears her throat.

"So today, we are starting chapter six, I hope you all are prepared to discuss chapter five, next week I want a analysis on both chapters, since they are connected, I have graded your other one, and will hand it back at the end of class. Does anyone have any questions before we start?" She asks, as she looks around the class. No one raises their hands.

"Alright then, who wants to start today?" She asks. Cheryl was about to raise her hand but another student beat her to it. Brendan look through his phone, while explaining chapter five, fucking hell the student could talk. He sends a text to Ste.

Text Message: To four eyes:

_Did u finish my paper, I need it for 2morrow. BB_

He presses send and puts his phone back in his pocket. Looks back up at the teacher who's writing shit on the bored, while some other student is talking. He's fucking bored as hell. He looks at Cheryl, who's writing in her note book, he's really proud of her; she's so hard working, and dedicated. His train of though it interrupted by Mrs. Krabappel's voice.

"Brady, please read us paragraph three of chapter 6." She asks. What the fuck, he looks up. She starring at him, and so is Cheryl, along with rest of the class. He bites his lips, sits up straighter.

"Sorry, I forgot my book at home, I was in a rush today." He says. Cheryl raises a brow at him, she knows he's fucking lying.

"Well next time please don't forget, it's crucial you have your book in class, class participation is twenty five percent of your grade. Cheryl, would you be kind enough to share with your brother for today." She asks.

"Yea, of course."

Brendan gets up from his seat and sits beside her, she slides the book over to him. He sighs heavily, looks at the book, doesn't even know where to start. Cheryl points with her finger. He clears his throat and begins to read. Sounds like he's reading a horror story, with a low deep voice, but it seems it's getting everyone's attention.

"Titus Vinius and Cornelius Laco, one the most worthless, the other the most spiritless of mankind, were ruining the weak old Emperor, who had to bear the odium of such crimes and the scorn felt for such cowardice. Galba's progress had been slow and blood-stained. Cingonius Varro, consul elect, and Petronius Turpilianus, a man of consular rank, were put to death; the former as an accomplice of Nymphidius, the latter as one of Nero's generals. Both had perished without hearing or defence, like innocent men. His entry into the capital, made after the slaughter of thousands of unarmed soldiers, was most ill-omened, and was terrible even to the executioners." He ends.

Cheryl looks at him like he has five horns on his head.

"Very good Brady, you have a captivating voice." She compliments. He raises a brow, fucking seriously. God of all the things he would rather be complimented on, he gets one for reading.

"Do I get a gold star?" He asks sarcastically in the same deep voice, the class laughs. Mrs. Krapappel actually smiles at him.

"We don't do gold stars, but it will earn you points on your grade." She says fondly. He chuckles lightly.

"Cheryl how about you read the next one." She asks. Cheryl begins to read, and then another students read the next. Cheryl turns her head to Brendan.

"Bren, I've been trying to text Ste, but he's hasn't texted back, I am starting to get worried; he said he would be in class today, but he's still not here." She says in a whisper.

"Maybe he's sick or something." Brendan excuses.

"I am sure he would have said so, if he was." Cheryl says.

"Don't worry about him, right, he probably doesn't want to talk to ye, I mean come-on, spoiled lad like him, loaded as fuck, why would he want to talk with us?" Brendan asks in a low voice.

"What?...What you talking about? Just because he doesn't want to talk to you, doesn't mean he doesn't want to talk me. He's a sweet heart, and he's not like that, just because he's got bit of money, don't mean he's a snob." She says in his defense. Brendan rolls his eyes.

"Right..." He drawls. Cheryl shakes her head in disbelief.

"I don't know what's your problem...I had thought you where getting along with him." She says.

"Just because we had few words, don't mean we're all matey now." He drawls, and leans back against his seat.

After class Cheryl tries to call Ste, but he doesn't pick up. Brendan chuckles.

"What's so funny?" She asks.

"Nothing...come-on lets get some lunch." He says.

"I am not hungry right now, I am gonna go do some work in the library before class, I'll see you later."

Before he can say anything, she's off. He sighs, and saunters down the hall, practically all the girls stare him down, he winks at couple of them, they squeal, and giggle like idiots. He knows the effect he has on them, its become bit mundane. He grabs something quick to eat, he looks at his phone, still no text. He chuckles. Not surprised. Knows Ste's mom probably has warned him about him. He doesn't care what he thinks of him, he just wants him to get his work done for him, otherwise he's nothing to him. He heads to the bathroom. He closes his eyes as he empties his bladder. He hears something. He opens his eyes, and listens carefully. He zips up his jean. He looks around no one is in the bathroom, he shrugs them washes his hand and dries his hands, just when he's about to reach the door, he hears it again. He freezes and looks back, he notices one of the doors to the cubical is closed. He puts his ear against it, and hears the noise is coming from there. He knocks on it.

"Hello?" He says. The noise becomes louder. He bends down and looks under the opening of the door. He see's bare feet taped. He quickly stands up, and goes into the other cubical, he stands on the toilet, and looks over the wall. His eyes widen, when he see's who it is.

"Fuck." He swears and quickly jumps over the wall, almost falls.

"Steven!" He says. Ste's eyes are red, his mouth is shut with tape, he's taped by the waist to the toilet, his hands are taped together and he's naked. Ste looks surprised to see Brendan. He tries to slowly takes the tape off Ste's mouth. Ste closes his eyes shut as he peels it off, feels like his flesh is being pulled by it. But Brendan manages to take it off, he stick it to the wall. His mouth is red from it, he looks all over him, his lashes look so long because of his tears, his eyes so blue, his hair is messed up, face stained with tears, he looked terrified.

"Who did this to ye?" Brendan asks, he looks furious, and angry. Ste's lips shiver, he can barely speak, he looks down in shame, tears start flowing down. He lifts Ste's chin.

"Who did this?" He asks again, with a low deep voice. Ste shakes his head.

"P..please..d..don't tell anyone." He begs, voice choked.

"Steven, tell me who did this?" He repeats his voice laced with anger. Ste shakes his head.

"I won't tell anyone, I promise." He says in deep voice.

"I..it was...th..those..gu..guys..f..from.. last time." He stutters in croaky voice. Brendan eye brows knit in anger, he clenches his fist. Ste see's his face turn red.

"Please...don't do anything...ju...just...leave it." Ste begs. Brendan can't believe what the boy is saying, how can he let someone get away from doing this to him. It makes him angry. He reaches into his pocket, and Ste's eyes widen, when he notices a blade in Brendan's hands. He grabs Ste's hand, and puts the knife between the gap of his hand and the tape, and begins to cut it. When his hands are freed, Ste's quickly covers his groin. Brendan lifts a brow.

"It's nothing I haven't seen." He drawls. Ste looks down in embarrassment. Then he bends and cuts the tape of his feet. Ste looks at him, as he opens him up, he swallows. This is the second time, well third time Brendan has helped him. Brendan looks up and notices him, he quickly moves his hand to the side of his waist, he has barely any room in the cubicle. He slowly takes the knife and holds onto the tape near his waist. Ste closes his eyes when he feels the coldness of the blade, but soon it's cut. He grabs Ste's arm and pulls him up, his skin tingles and make goose bumps, when Brendan's hand touches his skin. They are only inches away from each other. Ste can feel the heat from Brendan's body. He looks into his eyes, his eyes are so mysterious and the depth of it's blue, is not like anything he's seen before. But he looks back down.

"Where are ye clothes, and ye bag?" Brendan asks.

"Don't know." He says quietly. Brendan takes off his leather jacket, hands it to him.

Ste looks up at him in shock; Brendan is wearing a fitted, black T-shirt, his arms look strong, and muscular, and he can see there is a tattoo of some sort on it. He swallows.

"Come-on hurry." He says. Ste hesitates, his hand's still covering his private part.

Ste takes it with one hand, and other still covering his private part. He turns around.

"Don't worry boy, I ain't interested." He drawls. Ste ignores him, and slips on the jacket, it's warm, with a musky scent. It's big on him though, reminds him how tiny he is, makes him feel even more self-conscious than he already is. Brendan's gaze accidently fall down to Ste's ass, it's golden, plump, and soft looking. Fucking hell, Brendan quickly looks back up.

"I can't walk out like this." Ste says, and turns around, covering his groin, he looks up at Brendan. He can't help think how Ste looks like a fucking little boy, so vulnerable, and tiny, especially with his jacket on him. Brendan begins to open his belt. Ste's eyes widen.

"What ya doing?" He asks. Brendan doesn't answer him. He takes off his jeans and slips out of them, he has on fitted gray boxers. Ste swallows when he notices the bulge in his boxers.

"Here wear these."

"Ya gonna go out like that?" Ste asks.

"Yea, so what?" Brendan asks. Ste eyes widen.

"It's ok, ya don't have too." Ste says and hands his jeans back to him.

"I know I don't have to, but if ye wanna go out naked like that then go ahead." Brendan says. Ste looks down.

"Come-on slip em on, before someone comes in." Brendan says.

Ste quickly puts on his jeans, he tries to tighten the jean with the belt but they are overly big. Brendan notices they are pretty long on him, he quickly bends down and folds them up. Ste looks down at him, he can't believe Brendan is doing this for him. He zips the jacket.

"Come-on." Brendan says as he opens the door and goes out, Ste's eyes catch Brendan's ass, and how the material tugs at it, fuck, even his ass is so muscular, he thinks. Ste holds onto the jean, so they don't fall down. Brendan opens the door slowly, and looks down the hall it's empty, thank goodness. Ste's pocket vibrates. He reaches into it. It's Brendan's phone.

"Brendan it's your phone." He says. Brendan quickly takes it. It's a text from Cheryl.

Text Message: From Cheryl:

_Don't wait up for me, am stayin _

_2 study Chez xoxo _

"Come-on, lets go." Brendan says, and he quickly walks out into the corridor, looks at Ste, and gestures him to follow, he begins to quickly run, Ste runs after. Some people pop out of the class, and their eyes and mouth widen when they see Brendan and Ste running. They reach the double doors, Brendan pushes it open and run out into the yard. Ste stops, to catch his breath.

"Ay, hurry up." He calls out. Ste begins to run again. Brendan reaches to his motorcycle. Ste looks at him.

"Aren't ye getting in ye car?" He asks.

"I get it back tomorrow." Ste says. He grabs his helmet, and tosses it to Ste.

"Hop on." He says.

"Ya gonna ride it like that?" Ste asks in surprise, then chuckles at the site, but his face turns serious right away when he notices Brendan's expression.

"What ye laughing at?" Brendan asks with a serious tone. Ste swallows.

"Sorry, just looks bit funny ya one there like that." He says.

"And who's fault is that?"

Ste looks down and frowns.

"Get on." Brendan orders.

Ste hesitates.

"What ye waiting for?" Brendan asks impatiently. Ste puts on the helmet and slowly gets on the back, puts his bare feet on the side of the cold metal.

"Hold on." Brendan says, turns on the engine and roars off. Ste grabs onto his waist, he feels how muscular and hard Brendan's waist feels, it's so warm. He swallows. Brendan can feel Ste's hands, his stomach caves in, his hands feel warm, he feels them more than last time. He can't even believe what he just did. He rides quickly through the roads. Ste can't help but look at his thighs, how the muscles reflex as he rides the motorcycle. They get lots of stares, and some cars even honk at them. Brendan sticks his middle finger up at some, when some shouts.

"Put you pants on!"

Brendan rides down a maze of streets, in which he doesn't recognize.

"Where ya going?" He asks.

"To my flat." Brendan says.

"What?.." Ste asks surprised.

"I ain't going anywhere else looking like this." Brendan says. Soon, he drives up into a parking garage, and stops. He gets off the motorcycle.

"Come-in, I'll get ye something else to wear." Brendan says. Ste slowly gets off and nervously follows him inside. He notices the apartment is small,

bit dark, only lit with lamps, the furniture looks plain, bit old, gray curtains, a small table for two, with a small kitchen. Brendan looks at him.

"Sorry my house ain't as luxurious as yours." Brendan says with a edge of bitterness, and walks to a room, Ste follows him, his room is just average size, but his bed is large, with black and gray covers.

"I didn't say anything." Ste says.

"But ye thinking it." Brendan says as he looks through his closet, and brings out a shirt and tosses it at Ste.

"Ya don't know what I am thinking." Ste says with a bit of attitude.

Brendan turns his head and raises his brow.

"I don't have to know, it's pretty obvious, a bloke like ye, I am sure ye haven't seen a bit of dust, or even a bug in ye house." Brendan says. Ste's eye brows knit in anger. He throws the shirt on the floor.

"Ya know nothing about me, right, so don't act like ya do." Ste yells, Brendan's surprised, he's never heard Ste raise his voice. He walks up to him.

"What I do know is ye a fucking ungrateful piece of shit, that has everything thrown into his mouth, who's so fucking pampered can't even fight back against some shit holes." Brendan bites. Ste swallows hard, and breathes heavily, before he even knows it, he slaps Brendan across the face. Brendan grabs his arm and slams him against the wall. He groans at the pain.

"Did ye just fucking hit me?" Brendan growls, he can feel his hot breath, his eyes are wild and menacing, his teeth are bearing, and he looks like he's about to kill him. Ste feels the strength in Brendan's hands, squeezing his puny arms. He winces, at the pain. It's like he just realized what he's done. He has never ever talked back to someone, let alone hit them, even when they have done and said worst of things to him, so why Brendan? Who's probably the most dangerous of them all, his heart begins to beat fast.

"I..I am..s...sorry...p..pl...ease...d..don't hurt...me.." Ste begs with quivering lips. He notices Brendan's brows lower, his mouth closes, he stares into Ste's eyes, he can see the fear in them.

"Ye ever do that again boy, I will break ye boney arms." Brendan hisses. Ste shakes his head quickly, Brendan lets go of his arm, and turns around picks up the shirt on the ground, and throws it at him. He brings out a pair of jogging pants, his smallest size and throws it at Ste. He doesn't say anything, just takes of Brendan's jacket and quickly pulls over the white shirt over his head. Then takes off Brendan's jeans, turns around and wears the sweat pants. Brendan looks at him, his face still serious, he cracks his neck, and grabs a pair of jeans, and wears them. Ste ties the drawl string on his the sweat pants, since they are big for him. He looks up at Brendan who catches his gaze, he quickly looks back down, grabs Brendan jacket.

"Just leave it there." Brendan says in a low deep voice. Ste can tell he's still pissed off, he drops the jacket and then steps away. He heads towards the door.

"Where ye going?" Brendan asks. Ste turns his head slowly.

"..home." He says in a quiet voice.

"How ye getting there?" He asks.

"I'll take the bus."

Brendan raises a brow.

"With no money, and no shoes." He drawls. Ste looks down at his feet, had forgotten he got no shoes, plus his bag was also stolen along with his phone.

"I'll take ye home." Brendan says. Ste looks up at him.

"No...it's ok, can I just barrow some money, I'll pay ya back." Ste says. Brendan chuckles, runs his finger over his stache.

"Ye think I am made of money?" Brendan ask thickly.

"No...it's just a two pounds." Ste says quietly.

"What if I don't have two pounds?"

"..it's..ok then...I'll just walk home." Ste says quietly and walks out the door, Brendan quickly follows him and grabs his arm, and turns him.

"Why don't ye want me taking ye home?" Brendan asks with a serious tone. Ste looks to the side. Brendan grabs his chin and turns it, making him look at him.

"I am asking ye a question."

"B..Because I already caused ya enough trouble." Ste says.

"Don't lie to me Steven."

"I ..I am.."

"I knew it... fucking lier...So what did she say? I am sure she couldn't wait to open her big mouth and tell ye what happened." Brendan says with bitterness. Ste's eyes widen. He pulls out of Brendan's hand, and pushes him.

"Don't talk about me mum that way! Ye know nothing about her...and ya know what, she was right, I should stay away from people like ya." Ste yells and quickly runs towards the door, he opens it and slams it shut. Brendan freezes for a second before he runs after him, but when he gets to the garage, Ste's gone already.

"Fuck." He swears to himself, runs his hand down his face, and heads inside, slams the door shut.

...

Ste runs barefoot, on the cold, cracked brick pavement. He stops when he feels something stab his feet. He groans and looks at it, a piece of glass is stuck in it, and his foot is black with dirt, and gravel. He lifts his feet and pulls it out slowly, blood starts dripping. He takes the edge of the pant sleeve and tries to wipe it. He holds it till he thinks it's not bleeding. He lowers his foot, curls his toes, and starts walking slowly with a limp. He looks at the signs, but they are all blurry. He can't see well without his glasses. He stops and looks around him self, so see where he should go, the neighborhood looks old, and rundown. It brings memories back to the place where he used to first live, it was worse than this but not far off. The memory brings tears to his eyes, he wipes eyes with his arms; he sniffs, as he walks, not knowing where he is heading. It's starts to get dark, and rain clouds are gather, and wind picks up,; it becomes chilly, he shivers, so he puts his arms around himself, he looks down as he walk so the cold wind doesn't hit his face, suddenly he bumps into somebody.

"Ay watch where you going punk." A guy shouts, and pushes him, he stumbles back, his heart starts racing, when he notices four guys staring at him, all dressed in hoodies, and baggy clothes, two of them have hats. They look him up and down. He takes a step back, his arms still around himself. One of the guy steps forward. Ste practically shakes from.

"Ay lads, look at him, he's fucking shaking." One says.

"Where ya heading looking like that? One of them says looking him up and down. They all look at him like fucking predators. The guy licks his lips and walks closer. Ste shakes his head, he turns around to run, but the guy grabs him.

"Where ya going mate?" He asks and pulls Ste too him, he looks down at Ste's face, studies his features, rest of the guys surround him.

"Ple..ase..." Ste lips quiver as he tries to pull him self away, but the guy just hold him tighter.

"He looks like a fucking chick." One says.

"He's not only pretty like one, but sounds like one too." He remarks. The guys laugh, but then their face turns serious, they all look at him.

"How about we see if he screams like one too." One of them says, they look at each other, and the guy who's holding him smirks devilishly. Ste shakes his head, the guy quickly grabs his mouth. Ste panics, the other ones quickly look around themselves.

"Over there." One of them says. Before he knows it he's being dragged by his arms. He tries to scream, and kick. But it's not use, he's being pulled into a dark alley. He's pushed onto the ground, he screams, but one of the guy punches him in the face, and covers his mouth.

"Come-on, hurry up." One of them says. One them holds down his arms above his head. He feels his pants being dragged down. He tries to fight back by kicking, he struggles, but it just gets him a punch to the gut and ribs, he gasps under the guys hand that's covering his mouth. Tears start rolling down his eyes. His pants are thrown to the ground. Each of his feet are spread apart, one guy holding the other. They quickly look back nervously, no one around, then he unzips his pant and pulls it half way down. Ste watches in horror as the guy brings out his cock, and strokes it. He shakes his head violently, cries, he bites the guys hand who has his hand over his mouth, the guy takes his hand off and groans in pain. Ste tries his loudest to scream.

"HELPPPP!" He shouts out, but another brutal punch lands into his face, this time double, he feels like the light is out of his eyes, his head spins, the pain is unbearable. He coughs blood. The guy pulls back his hair hard.

"Just hurry." He tells the other guy, who seems a bit nervous now. He bends down on his knees.

"Push his leg back further." He orders the other guys. He strokes his cock quickly, trying to harden it, spits in his hand, and positions himself in between Ste's crack. Ste cries hole tightens it self at the intrusion. The guy tries to push in, but suddenly the alley way lights up, and a roar fills the alley way, they all turn and notices a motorcycle. The other guys holding Ste quickly let go of him, and run fast, the other guy who's bent down, panics, tries to pull his pant up, and stand up, but soon he's pushed hard against the wall, and his face is being pounded in over and over. Ste slowly tries to get up onto his elbows, he blocks his hand from the bright light, slowly takes his hand away and notices it's Brendan. He tries to get up, but his ribs are killing him, but he tries to ignores it and manages to get on his hands and knees. He crawls over to Brendan, but falls back down, the pain of his ribs are unbearable.

"..S...s..stop..p..please.." Ste begs, his voice choked and horsy. But Brendan can't hear him, he won't, he's punching the guy over and over again, Ste cries, tries to make him stop. But he just continues, till the guys face is covered in blood and he's not moving. Brendan drops him, and kicks him over again, hard, the guys body is like a fucking rag doll the way it move. Brendan looks menacing, and fucking wild, he's screaming at the top of his lungs as he kicks the guy. Ste's eyes widen is shock, he cries for his to stop. Brendan finally stops, his chest heaving up and down, breathless, hands fisted together. He looks at Ste, the light from the motorcycle clearly shows his face; his mouth is all bloody, his cheek dirty, and scratched with blood, lips busted, and quivering, snot running down his nose, and eyes blood shocked. He's naked half way down. He quickly walks over to him, grabs his arms and pulls him up slowly, Ste groans and puts a hand around. He grabs his face, and tries to study him. He looks like the life was taken out of him.

"..D...did..they...did they...hurt..ye." Brendan stutters, with a deep growl, voice filled with venom. Ste's eyes are blurred with his own tears, he can't read Brendan's face clearly. But he knows what he's referring to. He shakes his head, and tears fall down his dirty cheeks. Brendan pulls his head into his chest, and wraps his arms around him tight, and Ste starts crying, ignores the pain from his ribs, caused by the Brendan's tight embrace, his heart is beating as fast as his.

* * *

><p><strong>Please Review? Thank you, love you all. I hope you guys are liking this story. ^_^<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Want to thank everyone for reviewing - Much love! Hope your still enjoying this story, it's just the beginning, much more to come.

**...**

**Chapter 4**

**...**

His body tangles in between a pink floral blanket, as he stirs and whimpers in his sleep. "No...noo..ple..ase..." He cries out. Suddenly he jolts awake panting; his hair clung to his forehead, covered in a thin film of sweat, he feels arms pulls him into a tight embrace, a hand runs through his damp hair.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay, it's just a night mare..." The voice assures, in a calm soothing tone.

Ste lifts his head; his eyes meet _his_; the pale blue of his eyes appear brighter amidst the darkness, surrounded only by dim yellow lamp light, stood far in the corner of the living room. The sound of loud thunder jolts him, he slowly peels him self away from, not realizing his hands have been clamped on the thin material of his white T-shirt. He swallows, his eyes flutter in embarrassment.

"I am sorry..." He lets out faintly. Brendan tilts his head and looks at him.

"What ye sorry about?" He asks in a lowly. Ste lifts his head just a bit, enough for Brendan to notice his unbelievably long lashes; he knew they were long, but not this long, it's _wrong_ for a boy to have them so; he smirks lightly at the thought of girls whom he's known, his sister included, that spend a ridiculous amount of money on mascara's to make their lashes appear longer, but even so, they fail to look, so soft and naturally long. They cast a light shadow on his flushed cheeks, that glow in the dim light.

"..for waking ya up.." He says quietly, fumbling with his thin fingers.

"I was awake already."

"Oh..." He says very quietly. "What time is it?" He asks curiously.

"It's three past." Brendan says.

So he's been asleep for four hours. Brendan had brought him back to his after the _frightening_ incident; he was too shaken, so Brendan couldn't drop him at home in such state. He lent him his phone to call his parents, but instead Ste had texted his mom letting her know he was staying over at a friends dorm at school because it was already late and needed to be at school early to get work done. If he talked to her, he would most likely break down, and he didn't want his mom knowing anything about what happened.

He was surprised at how gently Brendan had handled him, like he was a fragile glass doll. He remembers his warm arm around wrapped around his waist, hoisting him up, onto his motorcycle, his ribs were still hurting from the attack. He wrapped his arms around his waist as he drove back to his place. Brendan cleaned his slight wounds, he hoped they wouldn't leave a bruise. He offered him to sleep in Cheryl's room, since she was staying at her friends for the night, usually he doesn't like it, when she stays out alone, but today he was glad. However Ste decline, and asked if he can just stay in the living room, Brendan lent him one of Cheryl blankets. Apologized for the floral print, Cheryl likes flowers he had joked, made Ste smile.

"Shouldn't ya be asleep, we've got early classes tomorrow." Ste says.

"Don't worry about me, ye should get back to sleep, I'll drive ye back to ye home, if ye want, before class." Brendan says. Ste doesn't respond.

"Don't worry, I'll drop ye off a block away." He says, Ste doesn't miss the bitterness in his tone.

"That's not what..."

"Just leave it, yea...go to sleep, I am gonna go out for a run..."

"This early in the morning?" He asks with wide eyes.

"It's best time."

"But..it's..dangerous." Ste says, a look of worry paints on his face.

"Do I look scared..." Brendan asks. Ste looks a him for brief second, _of course not_, much so the other way around, with how intimidating Brendan is. He's sure it's others who are afraid of him, especially after witnessing what he's capable of. If he hadn't stopped him, he was sure Brendan was going to kill the guy. As revealed as he was, it scared him, the fact that Brendan had this anger, within him; as much as he hated to admit it, it reminded him of when his step dad would lash out at him, even though he knows Brendan is million times the man he ever was, but that doesn't excuse the violence he used, even if it meant protecting him.

"No..." He responds quietly.

"I'll be fine, I've been doing it for a while, Ye can take my bed...it's more comfortable than this couch.." He says. Ste looks up at him, with a look of surprise.

"No...it's alright, I am good here." Ste says quickly.

"Suit ye self..." He says and heads to his room, Ste watches as he heads up to his room. Ste sighs heavily; wipes his hand over his face. He stays still sitting upright, with a blank look on his face. He never expected he would feel, _safe_, being at someone's house. He stands up and heads to the bathroom, he splashes cold water on his face; his reflection in the mirror is blurry, his glasses were broken when he was attacked at school. After taking a leak, he heads out of the bathroom. He stops when he notices the door to Brendan's room opened a little; curiosity takes the best of him, he takes a couple steps forward quietly, and looks through the crack.

A long scar is etched on the canvas of his pale skin, starts from his shoulder blade and ends just above the curve of his back; sculpted like a _Greek God._ His muscles are contoured by shadows casted by the dim yellow light illuminating from the lamp on his black wooden, bedside table, tainting his skin in a golden hue. He's dressed in black jogging pants. He bends down to pick up a shirt, suddenly he turns his head, Ste jumps back, and accidentally bumps into something, he panics and stumbles backward, and falls to the ground, the thing crashes to the ground with him. The door opens swiftly, he's faced with Brendan looking down at him, with wild eyes, his shirt in his hand. Brendan notices the state of shock and fear in his eyes. He quickly walks towards him, grabs his arm and pulls him up on his feet, their face only couple inches away. Their eyes glaring intensely.

"What ye think ye doing?" Brendan hisses. Ste whimpers with the tightness of Brendan's strong hand around his lanky arm.

"I...I was..."

"Was what?" He ask in a deep growl, his eyes menacing.

"Ya..said I can sleep..in ya bed." He says in a heavy breath, he notices Brendan's eyes turn softer, his grip loosens.

"After I leave, not while I am still in there." Brendan says deeply.

"Sorry I..I thought ya left..." He lies. Brendan licks his lips, and lets out a heavy breath, he lets go of his arm, he puts his shirt over his head, Ste's gaze goes flickers over his chest, the dark hairs, and down his taut abs, and the treasure trail that ends at the hem of his jogging pants hung low on his hip, he swallows, and quickly looks away, as his shirt covers his body. Brendan tilts his head, looks at him curiously. Ste steps to the side a little, feeling hot all of sudden, under his gaze.

"I'll just sleep on the couch." He says quietly, and turns around, Brendan grabs his arm.

"Ye can go in, I am heading out now." Brendan says. Ste looks up at him slightly, not wanting to look straight into his eyes.

"It...it's alright." He stutters. Brendan raises a brow.

"Ye said ya came to sleep on my bed, so go sleep on it." Brendan drawls in a deep voice. He pulls Ste forward and pushes him into his room before he can say anything, and shuts the door on him. He looks back at the door, then looks around the room. The walls are painted in a gray tone; black blinds cover his window. His gray rumpled bed sheets cover his twin set bed, much smaller than his at home. He expected a man like Brendan to have a large king size bed, covered in most luxurious fabrics, with how arrogant he seems, only wanting the best quality. All his furniture is black. It's obvious his favorite colors are gray and black. There's a mirror above the vanity, he stares at himself; he wonder if Brendan see's him the way he see's himself, so skinny, frail and fragile, and _ugly_.

...

The buildings are a dark silhouette against the tranquil, orange-pink hue of the sky, formed by the sun that's begun to rise out from the horizon. His pants heavily, as he runs back to his apartment. He enters his room, covered in sweat, he notices Ste's laid on his side, buried in a mess of sheets, tangled around, his tiny body. He wipes his face with a towel hung on a door hanger, and walks over to his bed. He looks down at Ste. His arms are wrapped snuggly, around his gray pillow, his hair is tussled; parts laid messily on his forehead. The light peering through the blinds glows on his golden skin. His gaze trails over his eyes, tiny turned up nose and his _lips. _They are formed in a pout, colored in a blush pink; they look unbelievably soft and plump. Suddenly Ste shifts, he steps back. He turns, making tiny little whimpering noises, but not like earlier, he looks like he's in deep sleep. His hand flings over his head, his shirt rides up slightly over his stomach revealing his golden skin just above his hip bone, his legs sprawl apart, and he rests his head on his pillow, his face now fully in sight. There's a slight bruise forming on his lip. He looks so fragile, young, and_ beautiful._ Brendan jolts when a loud buzz goes off; he realizes it's his alarm,_ fuck. _He quickly grabs it and turns it off, he looks back at Ste, thankfully the boy's hasn't budged.

There's no point of sleeping now, since it's almost time to get ready for class. He lets Ste sleep a bit more before he takes him home. He doesn't want to see his parents; which he does not want to meet, ever again, even though, he's somewhat alright with _him, _he's not exactly fond of his parents, not one bit, actually he quiet detests them; knows _people_ like them; arrogant snobs who think the world breathes for them, like they are on the top of the pedal stool, everyone else below them, just because they are socially labeled as -_high class-_ He can't help but feel a bit of bitterness towards the boy, for that reason alone, at the end of the day, he's the off spring of _such_ people. The boy's probably not as innocent as he appears; no one knows more than himself the meaning of _deception._

Ste jolts awake when he feels a hand on pressing down on his shoulder. He pants heavily, and looks up. Brendan's looking down at him, fully dressed in _black; _leather jacket, black shirt, and dark jeans, only thing not black is his silver cross chain.

"Get up, ye have hour and half before class...I'll drop ye home." Brendan tells him. Ste lifts himself up, his body feels heavy. He drapes his legs off the bed, and stands up, all of sudden he feels bit dizzy and stumbles back, Brendan grabs his arm quickly, keeping him from falling.

"Ay, ye alright?" Brendan asks. He shakes his head a bit trying to shake off the dizziness.

"Ya..I..am fine...I get dizzy, if I don't have my glasses on." He says.

"Do ye got another pair at home?" He asks.

"Yea..." He answers. _Of course_ he does, Brendan thinks to himself. He lets go of Ste's arm. Ste looks a him for a brief moment, and heads towards the door.

"Here's a towel to wash ye self." Brendan says, and throws him a towel, he misses and it lands on the floor beneath his feet.

"Can't catch a towel boy." Brendan jokes, Ste frowns; even though he knows it's a joke, he's always been so clumsy, he turns red in embarrassment. He must look like a total wuss in front of Brendan, he concludes, who wouldn't. He's never been good at sports, well to be fair he never really tried, because as much as he hates to admit it, he was afraid of getting hurt, because all his life, all he remembers is being _hurt_. He bends down, picks up the towel and heads to the bathroom. Ste quickly takes a shower not wanting to over stay his welcome. He dries him self and puts on his set of clothes Brendan lent him. He hears Brendan shouting shouts, "Fuck!...what did they say?...I'll be there soon, yea...alright." Brendan says in a deep voice. "FUCKING BITCH!" He shouts, and kicks his lamp table hard, causing it to flip over, the lamp crashes to the ground. Brendan turns and his eyes fall on Ste frozen by the door.

Before Ste can even realize the situation, his back slams against the wall with a loud thud, he groans as the pain shoots through his sore body. He groans as the pain shoots down his body, he's still sore from earlier. His eyes widen in fear, as Brendan glares at him with ferociously, encasing him, with his hands places on the wall firmly on either side of his head. His heart beats erratically.

"What did ye tell her?" Brendan snarls, teeth baring, smells the mint of his breathe, and musky smell of his after shave.

"T...tell...who?" He stutters.

"Ye know what I am talking about!" He shouts in his face. He presses his back hard against the wall as if he's hoping that he will be able to escape magically through it, he looks so confused and petrified.

"I...I don't know what ya...talking about..."

Brendan punches the wall hard right next to his head, Ste squeezes his eyes shut tightly, his heart beats erratically out of fear, he lips tremble.

"Don't fucking play dumb with me boy! Am gonna ask ye again, what did ye tell that bitch?" He growls deeply.

Ste's lips quiver, as he shakes his head.

"I..really don't...know who ya talking about.." He whimpers,

"DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME! I know what ye said to that fucking bitch of a mother of ye's!" Brendan shouts, spit flies to his face.

"What?" He says in absolute shock, with wide eyes. He flinches when Brendan lifts his hand, and grips his T-shirt, and breathes heavily in his face.

"So ye wanna play a game, Ay, play like ye some fucking innocent piece of shit!" Brendan growls. He shakes his head violently.

"Please...I...I didn't tell her anything." Ste begs.

"Then why are the cops after me, huh? They think I've fucking kidnapped ye..." He growls.

"What?...I..I don't know...I swear...I didn't say anything...I just..just texted her...and said I..I was staying at a mates house." Ste stutters in explanation.

"Just because I said ye can stay over don't fucking make ye my mate." He growls.

"I..I didn't say yours, I said Cheryl's."

Brendan see's red, he literally lifts Ste up by the neck, he gasps, grips his shaky hands around his powerful hand, struggles to take his hand off his neck but it's futile.

"Ye involved my sister into this?! My baby sister?!" He shouts in unbelievable anger. Ste's face turns red, he struggles to breath, Brendan loosen's his grip on his neck, he falls to the floor, he grips his neck and coughs, trying to catch his breath. Brendan stares down at him, he grabs him by the hair and pulls him up, and yanks his head back.

"I swear if anything happens to my sister, I'll make ye pay...get the fuck out of my flat." He growls and shoves couples of bills in his shirt and pushes him out the room, he stumbles to the floor. Tears runs down his face, he gets him self up quickly, and runs to the door, shakes as he attempts to unlock the door, and runs out.

Brendan punches the wall over and over again in anger, breathing heavily.

...

Cheryl realizes that Brendan nor Ste have been in classes all day; it's not odd for Brendan to skip, maybe he's finally getting tired of it all, but she's worried about Ste, she's been trying to call him, and text him but no reply. The teachers have been asking about him as well, Cheryl just says he's sick at home, even though she has no clue her self.

She heads home with the bus that late evening alone, still not have heard from Brendan all afternoon. When she enters the apartment, she notices the blanket on the couch, the long metal sculpture on the floor, that Ste knocked down, and when she walks into Brendan's room, her eyes widen, when she see's the turned over table and broke lamp. She quickly searches for her phone in her bag and dials Brendan's number. But it goes to his answering machine. She begins to freak out; she knows Brendan's involved in dodgy shit, however he's never allowed her too see any of it. But at this moment, she can't help it, fear fills through her veins. She walks back and fourth, and keeps on dialing his number. After calling about ten times she finally gives up, and sits down on the couch, her knees shaking in nervousness, she has no idea what to do.

After five agonizing hours or so of waiting, the door opens, she rises from the couch; she hadn't moved from it, the phone still in her hand. Her eyes widen when she see's Brendan.

"Chez." He says as he locks the door. Cheryl stomps up to him.

"Where the fuck have you been! I've been calling ya all day, do you have any idea how worried I've been." She shouts, a tear runs down her cheek.

"Hey...it's ok, am alright...my phone died..." He says, he pulls her in for a hug and kisses her head.

"I am sorry...I didn't realize ye would be worried." He says. She pulls away from his embrace.

"Of course I'de be worried, you my brother; I already know you fucking disappear out of know where, but...what do you expect me to think, after seeing all this shit." She says angrily pointing at the mess in the apartment. He rubs his brows, runs his hand over his face and sighs heavily.

"Sorry...I...had some company, we got bit out of hand..." He says. She laughs out bitterly.

"Wow...and all this time I've been thinking...never mind, next time, fucking clean up, if ye gonna act like animals, and keep it in your room." She says, and heads to the bathroom. He cracks his neck, and rolls his shoulders, and heads to his room, shuts the door. He brings out his phone, and dials Simon's number.

"Ay...yea..am home...what did ye tell Danny?...he thinks it's true?...Fuck no, I had to fucking turn my self in before they came sniffing around my flat, I couldn't get Cheryl involved...no it was some bitch, she didn't even have the balls to face me when I asked to see her...they ended up dropping the charges...don't know, said that they had nothing on me..well of course not, I don't even fucking know the piece of shit...so what if he goes to my school, ye think I'de be paying attention to shit like that...guess ye don't know me after all...well then don't fucking assume..right...tell Danny I'll make it up...yea, alright...I'll see ye guys soon." Brendan says and hangs up the phone.

Walker had found out about the whole kidnapping situation because the police had come knocking on his door asking for Brendan, some how they had found out, he was his friend, so asking him about his whereabouts, was relevant. He had asked what the reason was, the police said he was wanted for kidnap, and he lied and said, he had no idea where he was, hadn't seen him in a while, said he didn't know his address by heart, since it was Brendan who usually came time his. Told the police he would call them if he heard from Brendan. When they left, he called Brendan right away, informing him the police where after him.

His door opens, Chery's stood with her arms crossed looking unimpressed, he swallows nervously, wonders how much of his conversation she just heard.

"Chez, what's up?" He asks.

"I've got some food ready if your hungry." He smiles warmly, that's his baby sister, regardless of what he does, she's always there for him.

"Thank ye Chez, but I've already eaten, and it's late, I am gonna just take a shower and head to bed, don't wanna miss class tomorrow." He says. She raises a brow.

"Not that I mind, but why weren't you in class today?" She asks.

"I...I had a doctors appointment." He lies. She raises her brows in suspicion.

"When do you ever go to the doctors?" She asks.

"Well, felt it was time...just a simple check up, I mean...Jesus have ye been reading about the shit in anatomy class...it's proper scary." He says, like he actually means it.

"Well...glad to know your actually doing some work...how was the check up?" She asks.

"Good, apparently, I am very health and strong." He says flexing his muscles. She laughs.

"Right, well get some rest..." She says and turns, but then stops, and looks back at Brendan.

"Oh, Bren, have ye heard from Ste?...I am really worried, it's two days now that he's been absent, it's not like him to miss classes." She says.

"Dunno, must be sick or something, am sure he'll pop up soon; just worry about ye self yea..." He says.

"Carrying for others is not a bad thing you know." She responds.

"I only care about one person Chez, and that's ye...no one else comes matters to me." He says in low serious tone. She sighs heavily, she loves that her brother cares so much about her, but it also worries her, to see he has so little empathy for others.

"Good night Bren..." She says and leaves his room.

...

That night, Ste had the nightmares again; but his mom was right by his side, holding on too him. She was so afraid the other night, when she got a text from Ste, which she's never received before, telling her he was staying at a friends, named Cheryl, because he was busy studying with her and didn't want to have to go all way home in middle of the night, when he had class early next morning, and hoped that she was fine with it. What struct her odd, was the fact the number that showed on her phone was not Ste's, it made her feel uneasy, but most of all, what was more suspicious was the fact he was staying over night at some persons house she never has met; Ste never has ever felt comfortable at anyone's house all the years they taken care of him, let alone stay over night. When she texted him back and never got a reply, she panicked. Her husband was still at work, he was going through with the plan of expanding his restaurant to another location, so he's been working extra late, and didn't want to add more stress, so she took it upon her self, copied down the number that Ste had texted her with, and had it traced on this searching website which allows anyone to enter someones number and get their name, picture, description, and if they have any criminal records. It allows businesses or employers to know if the persons they higher are have committed any sort of crime, helps with reliability. Not every number can be traced, some people's are private, some don't even know about it. But she decided to give it a shot. She was shocked when the name appeared on her screen, with a picture next to it. It was _him. _

_Name: Brendan Seamus Brady_

_Age: 32_

_Height: 180 cm_

_Eye color: blue_

_Hair color: black_

_Race: Irish_

_Offenses: Larceny, Burglary, Assault, DUI, False pretenses, Forgery, Battery, Kidnap._

_Imprisonment: Three months. _

She can't believe what she's reading, all the crimes he's committed he's only been in prison for three months. However the biggest of his crime is not labeled, _Murder._ His sentences were always light because he was bailed out every time by Danny. She paced around the room for a couple of minutes trying to figure out what's happening. She knew that Ste lied about being with a friend, and he's never lied to them before, he wouldn't. She knows his kind, the ones that don't go after _you_, but go after your_ family_. He's_ kidnapped_ her son. She panics and calls the police: tells them she believes her son's been kidnapped; gives them all the details, the authorities say, they will do their best to find him. Even when her husband comes home she doesn't tell him right away, but he senses something is wrong and ends up telling him. He lashes out at her for the first time, for not letting him know earlier, he cries in panic.

"He's our only son! What..what if..he's.."

"No...don't, he's going to be fine! Alright, he's going to be fine." She had cried. She let him know the police were on it, took all her effort to keep him inside, she knew what he's like when someone gets near Ste. He's a soft guy, but when it comes to Ste, he's overly protective, like she is. They couldn't bare the thought of him being hurt again.

They didn't sleep all morning, waiting for a phone call. When the door bell rang, their heart fall out of their chest. They brace themselves for the worse. When they opened the door and saw Ste, his mom literally collapsed to the ground crying. He had made it home by bus, using the money Brendan gave him. His parents asked him what happened, and his mom right away brought up Brendan, accused him of kidnapping him. His eyes widen at the accusation, he denied it, and said it was all a misunderstanding. Explained that Cheryl had let him use her phone after class, because his had fallen into the water during a science experimentation in science class.

"It wasn't Cheryl's phone though, it was his." His mom corrected him. Shit, he had swallowed, made up that Brendan and Cheryl share phones, because they don't have enough to pay for two phones. Luckily, they let him go on that. They asked why was he back if he was suppose to be in class, he said he forgot some books, and came back to retrieve them. His car was still at the dealers, his parents were suppose to pick it up that evening.

"I want ya to stay away from the guy, I know you say he's alright, but he's dangerous Ste, we don't want you getting involved with people like that, even we trust that his sister is nice, she's still involved with him, it's alright if you talk to her, but please don't get too close." His mom had said to him.

"Mum, I am fine, right, they've done nothing to me...they are only my class mates, they don't cause anyone trouble...so please don't worry, I can handle my self, I am not a little kid anymore." Ste had defended. His mom and dad had decided to let it go, even though they felt bit uneasy. Regardless what Ste thought, they do not like the _Brady's_ even though they have not met them personally, and _never_ want too.

...

For the first half of Chemistry class, Mr. Fox gave a PowerPoint presentation on chemistry related topics they were going to be choosing from for their group project. Brendan was practically half asleep through the whole thing, he jolted awake when Cheryl pinched his arm. With the last half, Mr. Fox, had assigned groups of three, Brendan and Cheryl are teamed with different people. Unlike Brendan, she's seems engrossed in the conversation with her teams, while his feet tap in annoyance as his team mate George; a chubby, red headed, freckled kid, reads the different options they have to chose from. His voice is squeaky and fucking annoying.

"So what do you think?" George asks.

"Dunno." He answers in a monotone voice. Mr. Fox walks towards them, hand behind his back, Brendan can't help but stare at his stubby self, he's always wearing the same navy vest, with a white button up, he thinks it's his way of covering her love handles.

"How's it going lads? Figured out what you would like to do your project on?" Mr. Fox asks them, licks his lips, not giving an answer.

"Chemical Bonding seems interesting." George says, he notices Brendan's glare. "I...think." He adds quietly.

"What do you think Brady?" He asks.

"We'll go with whatever _Betty Crocker_ said." Brendan drawls, his button lip hanging low, his eyes look so fucking high. Mr. Fox raises a brow at him.

"It was just a suggestion, we're still thinking about it." George corrects quickly, scrunches his nose, as he fixes his _Harry Potter_ glasses.

"Well, you half hour to decide." He says to both of them and walks to the next group. George looks at Brendan, awkwardly; Brendan leans his head close to his, and puts his palms on the desk.

"Don't ever decide for me, when I haven't said anything, ye hear me?" He growls. George subconsciously moves back, and swallows.

"Sorry, I didn't know what you wanted.." He says. Brendan leans back in his seat staring at him intensely, till he turns his head away and buries his head in his papers. Minutes later George turns towards Brendan, who's staring at his phone, chewing on gum, he does that a lot when he's bored out his mind.

"Umm... Brendan...do you think we can get this project done by next week, I just have so much other projects, I want to finish this quickly..so if..." He stops in middle of his sentence and follows Brendan's gaze towards front of the class.

"You know him?" He asks. Brendan lowers his gaze, and looks at him with a seriously pissed off look.

"Ye ask me one more question Ginger, I will twist that tongue of ye's out ye mouth, ye won't be able to ever speak in that squeaky annoying voice of ye's." Brendan warns in a low growl, luckily all the other chattering in the class room covers his voice. George swallows, and turns around.

His gaze flickers back to the front. He stares intensely at Ste, talking with the professor. He's almost an hour late to class. He hadn't seen him for two days, since that day. He hadn't expected him to turn up. He had wondered what he was doing, even though he didn't want to, because the boy's been causing him trouble he doesn't need. But from the looks of it, he's doing extremely well. Why wouldn't he, money and power _aids_ everything. He's looks extra clean, and nerdy. He's dressed in another one of his smart shirts; a white one, topped with a dark green vest, pressed corduroy pants rolled up at the bottom, with beige loafers, and his hair brushed back a bit with a puff, with a pair of new glasses, black rimmed ones, this time. He's carrying a brown leather bag, with couple of books in his hand. He can't hear what he's saying, but he knows he must be explaining his absences. Mr. Fox hands him couple of papers, Ste has a slight smile on his face, but it falters when his gaze follows Mr. Fox's finger pointing towards Brendan's direction. Their gaze intense and unmoving. Ste's collar feels tight suddenly around his neck, he swallows, and turns back to Mr. Fox and tells him something. He nods lightly, and turns, and heads towards his way. Brendan sits up straight and cocks his head. He's surprised when Ste sits down next to George. Finds out Ste's added to their group, since they were some how the only group with two people. He smirks, he was beginning to worry how the fuck he would get the work done, because he wasn't going to do it. He was going to make George do it, and give him credit even if it meant threatening him, but now he doesn't have to worry, because Ste's here, as much as he prefers to not be involved with him.

Ste avoids him during the whole class, talks to George about what they have to do, Brendan pokes his head in their conversation. He looks like the big bad wolf, between two sheep. He laughs at Ste, and George; he's stuck in a group with two complete nerds, oh how the odds favor. They look at him with a bewildered look, gaining the professor attention, he walks up to them asks if everything is alright. He looks at Brendan with a suspicious look.

"We're getting into detail about our topic that we're going to do, ain't that right boys?" He says. Both of them quickly nod.

"So what's the topic?" He asks. They both look at Brendan, because they have no idea what that topic is.

"Chemical bonding." Brendan drawls. Ste and George look at each other, even though they were actually deciding on something else, they knew that was the topic they were going to have to do, whether they liked it or not.

"Good to see you all are in agreement, can't wait to see your presentation next week, be creative." Mr. Fox says with a smile, and heads to the front class giving the class a quick lecture about what he expects. Then dismisses them. George gives his email and number to Ste, and heads out the class as fast as he can.

"STE!" Cheryl calls out. Ste turns his head, see's Cheryl quickly walking towards him. She just had noticed him finishing up with her team. Brendan's phone suddenly buzzes. He looks at it, tells Cheryl he's gotta leave. She says she'll see him later at home.

"Where have you been?" She asks, and pulls him into a big squeezing hug, he say's he's been sick for a while.

"Awww I missed you; if you need any notes for class I have all of them." She says.

"Ta, I'll let ya know." He says.

"Oh...actually I've been wanting to ask, would you like to come over for dinner to night, we can catch up." She says with a bright smile, holding tightly on her books.

"Um...I've got lots to catch up on, maybe another time." He says.

"Oh alright, definitely next time, if you need anything just let me know...I'll see you tomorrow, gotta meet up with my group, we've decided to start early, you should as well." Cheryl says.

"I will." Ste says with a smile and waves good bye. He really likes Cheryl, she's definitely the opposite of her brother. Just when he thought he was getting a bit, just tiny bit close to Brendan, everything crashed back down, to where it began. He's _afraid_ of him. Since it's his last class of the day, he decides to go to the library and catch up on work for his other classes. Calls his mom to let her know, she's been worried since that day. He doesn't understand how his mom came up with that conclusion that Brendan had kidnapped him; _why would he? _She never told him.

The campus is pretty empty when he heads out, everyone must be in their dorms, his parents had asked if he wanted to stay in one, but he had said he'de rather commute, felt much more comfortable; couldn't imagine not seeing his parents everyday, and the idea of being confined in a small room, sleeping next to a stranger did not bode well with him.

...

Brendan's sat a round table, accompanied by sexy lady, dressed in a skimpy black dress, as he claims his second victory. _Fridays _are poker night in the basement of Danny's club. After weeks of not attending, and Danny, Walker, and rest badgering him to attend, he finally managed to make time; he makes it more exciting, and with his skills; makes it a challenge. And always gets the sexy women to join them, they tend to stay glued to him every chance they can, and who ever is lucky ends up leaving him with for the night, if he feels up for it, which tends to be _everyday._ Nothing usually gets in the way of his _sex_ drive, he's _known_ for it.

He was worried he would be bombarded with questions regarding his kidnapping accusations, but Danny, nor Walker brought it up, instead they were too engrossed with the game.

"You must have some tricks we don't know about." Danny says in amusement, as he lays down his cards. Brendan smirks at the corner of his lip.

"It's all in here." Brendan says, and taps his temple and lays down his; everyone on the table groans in disappointment when Brendan wins for the third time.

"I am done." Walker says in defeat, throwing his cars down, the rest agree. Brendan smirks as he collects rest of the money. They take the party to the main floor, and drink the night away. Brendan doesn't drink much, he needs to stay sober in order to get back home. Instead he spends his time flirting; he claims four woman that night before heading home.

Cheryl's already asleep by the time he gets home. It's three in morning. She's left him dinner in the fridge, she always does, even if he's out all night. He takes a shower and heads to his room. He looks through his phone, there's two missed calls from Cheryl, which he had called back and let her know he's out all night. He sighs heavily and he lays down in his bed. Luckily it's a Friday so he doesn't have to worry waking up early for class. He scrolls down his contact list, and stops at _Four eyes. _He hasn't seen him since his last class on Wednesday.

...

Ste's half a sleep in bed when his phone buzzes, he puts on his glasses, his eyes widen when he see's it's a text from Brendan.

_From Stache Man:_

_Have u started the project? BB_

He didn't expect Brendan would ever want to speak to him, let alone text him, but then again he has no choice, since they are in the same group. He thinks about what to write; ends up deleting many texts before deciding on one.

_To: Stache Man: _

_Me and George have begun the intro. Ste_

He presses send, and leans his head down on his pillow. The response comes minutes later.

_From Stache Man:_

_Didn't think ur awake. BB_

He's awake because he's been doing school work, unlike him.

_To Staceh Man:_

_Been doing home work. Ste_

He presses send, and waits. His phone buzzes.

_From Stache Man:_

_Do u do anything else? BB_

Why does he even care.

_To Stache Man:_

_I've got lots to catch up on. Ste._

He thinks he's not going to respond after it passes ten minutes, but then it buzzes.

_From Stache Man:_

_Well don't 4get to add my work _

_to it. BB_

What an jerk, he thinks to himself.

_To Stache Man:_

_What work? Ste_

The response comes quickly.

_From Stache Man:_

_Group project. BB_

It's call a fucking group project for a reason.

To Stache Man:

It's the last I am doing. Ste.

The response is super quick.

_From Stache Man:_

_Ur done when I say ur done. BB_

His brows knit together. He decides to leave it at that, there's no point in arguing, he knows he won't win.

...

"Lads, we've got bit of a problem, there's this guy whose been causing us a bit of trouble; I've been pretty civil with him with negotiations, but it doesn't seem to ring in. So I was hoping you both will help me sort it." Danny says with a smirk. Brendan and Walker knows what he means. Excitement drills through him, he done anything like this in ages. And he knows it means big _money. _

"What's the address?" Brendan says. Danny gives them the details, and sends four others with them as back up. Brendan loves the thrill of riding, especially one with purpose, it pumps adrenaline through his whole body, gives him a sense of power, and control.

Their motors roar together, as they weave in and out of streets, in a highly organized fashion. The attention on them is impeccable; as much as people are intimidated by their presence, many have gotten used to it, and actually find it impressive. Only thing they hate is when cars get in there way, majority always make way for them to pass or speed up so they don't cause any accident's. Many cars honk at them as they pass, some even cheer out their windows. They night is busy with people out and about, and there's more cars on the streets than usual. The light turns red, and they all come to a halt. Brendan rolls his shoulder, and he looks Walker to his left, he smirks at him. He fixes his helmet, gets his feet positioned to step pedal and waits for the light to turn; he hears a car approaching on his right side, just as it turns green. It zooms by, and he roars the motorcycle to life and steps on the gas. He hates when cars drive recklessly through the road. A bit hypercritical, but that's his thought.

Walker notices Brendan's tailgating a car. A very expensive red Mercedes, with tinted windows. Who ever it is has his fucking favorite car, if he were to ever afford one that is. He enjoys his motorcycle more though because it's easy to get to places with it. He speeds to the side of the car, it seems the car notices them, it speeds up, almost coming in contact with Brendan's tire, it riles him up. It soon becomes a game of catch. The red Mercedes tries to weave in through other cars, but gets honked at. They whole group gets anxious and excited as the chase intensifies. Luckily they end in a more narrow street, because it could have ended with the police stopping them.

Adrenaline is pumping through his body as he and rest of the boys chase down the beauty. Who ever it is has some fucking driving skills. Makes him angry and excited, he likes a challenge, so he drives up fast to the side of the car, and signals the others to surround it, two in front, two in back, and Walker on one side, and him on the drivers side. The car honks at them but it's not use, just makes them more excited. They car is eventually forced to a complete stop, in the middle of a dark road, with very dim lights, the area seems a bit familiar, but than again many road in Chester are. Brendan hops off his motorcycle, followed by Walker. They don't take off their helmets though. He taps the car, and then jumps on hood causing it to shake, bends down and takes a look through the windshield, while the rest of the guy gather around, waiting for his response. His eyes widen under his helmet. It's Ste. He looks absolutely petrified and frozen. He automatically jumps off the car. He wonder's if Ste recognized him, but he doubts it, because it's dark, and his helmet is covering all his face.

"Whose it?" Walker asks.

"Can't see the face, come-on lets, it's not worth it." Brendan says to all of them.

"B, you were practically on his ass, and now you wanna back off."

"Just for the game Walker, I've lost interest, yea, we've got other things we can be doing." Brendan says.

"I disagree, since we've came all this way, why don't we at least get a look at the driver behind this beauty." One other says, and walks towards the car, knock on it window, but there's no response.

"Just leave em." Brendan orders with a bit of edge.

Brendan's phone goes off; and it's loud in the dead of the night, it get's their attention. Brendan fishes for it looks at the screen.

"Who is it?" Walker asks.

"It's my sister, asking where I am at, come-on lets go, we need to get this over with." Brendan says and puts the phone back in his pocket.

"Come-on boys." Walker says, and gets on his motorcycle.

They get on their motorcycles. Brendan takes another look at the car before he turns and drives off first, the rest follow.

Ste looks back through his rear view mirror as they drive off, his phone in his hand. He didn't recognize Brendan. Once he believes he's clear, he turns his car and heads out of the dead end, reroutes his GPS, and heads home. It's only 7:38 p.m. He told his parents he'd be home by 8:00. He keeps looking back in his rearview mirror, scared that maybe they will follow him, he has no idea why he was followed but it must be because of his car. His parents had decided to get him a new car, a 2015 red Mercedes, with tinted windows, they said, it's safer, people won't see him. He was shocked when he saw it in the garage, when his parents said they got his car back from the dealers. He had thought it was a new car for his mom or dad, but it was his. They had traded in his old car and added more money to get him the Mercedes. They said they got him a new one, because they were worried that his other one would break down again; it_ never_ had, but he couldn't tell them that. He didn't like his parents spending so much on him, but every time he brought it up, it upset them, so he learned to just keep quiet about it.

He manages to make it home by 8:10. He wipes the foot prints on the hood of his car, definitely doesn't want his parents seeing that. His mom warms his dinner and asks him how his new car is with a smile.

"It's really nice..." He says and takes a bite of his steak. He doesn't have much of an appetite, so he excuses himself, tells his mom he's tired and wants to head to bed. She doesn't say anything, she finds it bit odd, that he's going to bed this early, usually he's up all night doing his work, but then again, it's Saturday so she lets it go.

Next day, after lunch, his dad asks him if he wants to go bowling with him, since he's finally had a day off to himself, and wants to spend some time with him, hasn't since Ste's started Uni, while he got extra busy managing the restaurant. Around early evening they leave with his dad's car. His mom uses the time to her self to clean up around the house. She walks up to Ste's room, and organizes some of his things. Puts his books on his shelf, and folds his home clothes she's finished washing, and puts them in his drawers. Usually Ste's very clean, but lately he's been a bit unorganized, not that she minds, she just finds it strange, she thinks must be all the work and stress from college work. She feels something beneath his stacked T-shirts in the back of his bottom drawer, as she arranges them. She pulls it out, it's a tiny black book, with a elastic band. Her curiosity takes over, so she undoes the elastic, and flips through the pages, most are empty, but then she notices some pages are written on. She finds it odd how the pages that are written on are random, some have like more than ten empty pages in between, some less, some more. The front pages are blank. She never snoops around Ste's room; but this is the first time she's seen this book. She randomly picks one of the written pages and reads it.

_August 9, 2015_

_I don't know why I am writing this, perhaps it's because I have no one else to talk too; I've never been good with words. I have my parents of course, they always listen, but there are something's I can't tell them, things I don't want them knowing because I know they would be worried. I love them, they mean everything to me, they give me everything I need; they love me so much, sometimes I feel I don't deserve it, because I've done nothing for them, I know they don't expect me too, but I can't help it, I want to be a useful son. I'll be going to Uni in two weeks, I am nervous, I've heard many stories about it, I don't know how much is true, but if they are, I am not really looking forward to it, but I don't know what to expect. I wonder if I will make any friends, I am not much of a talker, maybe that's why I have never been social with others. I don't know, I wish I could talk more, but when ever I try, I am afraid, afraid what other's might say or think. I gotta go now, my mom's calling me for dinner-_

She feels a pang of sadness and guilt; all this time she wonders what he's always thinking, and for the first time she knows. He's always saying- _I am good -I am fine - I am okay -_never complaining or asking for anything. She never even knew that he was nervous going to Uni, he barely spoke about it, even when she asked, he would just say it's just like high school just for older kids. She can't help it, she flips through blank pages till she gets to another written page, some are longer, some shorter.

_September 2, 2015 -_

_My first day at Uni, and I screwed up, ran into this guy with a motorcycle. He had this strange stache, he's really scary. I was surprised when I saw him in my class, I tried to not pay attention to him, but he's making me pay back for ruining his motorcycle. I couldn't say no, his type are really scary, he wears all black, I wonder if he's Goth or just loves black, regardless he's very intimidating. But what shocks me most, is when I found out he's the brother of the first person in my class who talked to me. Her name is Cheryl, she seems very sweet and kind, she's very tall, and seems strong, and confident. I admire and envy her ability to get along with anyone. I have two classes with her. I wonder if I can be her friend, I however definitely don't want to talk to her brother, he seems worse than me when it comes to socializing, at least I don't scare people-_

So that's how he met him. Ste's pretending to like the guy, it makes her angry, but at least now she knows he's most likely staying away from him. She flips to another one. She finds it also strange how the dates are in no particular order.

_August 22, 2015 - _

_To day I had the nightmare again, they have become more constant, the vivid images haunt me, I just wish I could get them out of my head. I don't understand, I am different now, I don't live there anymore, I don't live with them, they are gone, so why won't they leave me alone? I just wish they would. I feel like I can't make new memories, because the old ones keep haunting me, and I try to get them out my head, but I can't, no matter how much I try, I am still stuck in the past-_

She knows that his nightmares affect him, but didn't realize this much. He rarely speaks about it, she tries to be there for him, when he's having them.

_September 4, 2015 -_

_I don't know what's wrong with me? Why do I always get picked on, I've never done anything to anyone, is it how I look? The way I dress, it can't be because so many other students in my class dress similar. I just must be weird, maybe it's because I don't talk. I was hoping it would stop once I got to uni, where people are suppose to be more mature, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I don't really know what I am suppose to do. I don't want my parents knowing they have enough to worry about, they do enough already for me. I feel lonely, I wish there was someone I could talk too, someone who wouldn't judge me-_

Each one is breaking her heart a bit more, and making it harder for her to read. But she can't stop, her conscious won't allow her, she flips to the next.

She drops the book, feels like she's about to get a panic attack.

* * *

><p>Please review? I hope you guys are enjoying this story! ^_^<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

I apologize to all my lovely followers/guests who are reading, my updates won't be as frequent as I've landed on the busy wagon again lol, I jump off and on, but just one thing for you all to know, I will never leave any of my stories unfinished, even lol if no one reads it. Anyways let me stop talking, here's the next chapter. :)

**...**

**Chapter 5**

**...**

Ste and his dad had arrived home late that night after a pleasant time bowling. Surprisingly he had been _good_ at it. After bit of talking about the game, they headed to their rooms.

Ste's dad had been surprised to find his wife still awake, usually she always slept at ten, since she wakes up six in the morning everyday. He asked why she was still up, when he noticed the distraught in her expression, he sat down next to her and puts his arm around her to comfort her, but she seemed timid.

"You alright?" He had asked.

"It's gotten worse Thomas…" She began in a weak tone. He stared at her in apprehension. "I thought he was better, I thought it all stopped, why him? Why our son?..." She began to cry.

"What are you talking about?" He asked looking intently into her teary eyes. She sniffed and turned around, his eyes widened when she placed a book in his lap. "What is this?" He asked.

"Read them." She responded with a horsy voice. Yellow sticky notes where placed in-between the pages to indicate which page was written on. He began to read, and the further he read, the shallower his breathes became, dread took over. But it was the last one that made his heart race, adrenaline rushed through his body, and muscles tensed.

He crumbled the page in his hand, lips formed in a thin line, eye brows knitted together. He quickly had risen and rushed towards his drawer and his wife had looked at him in alarm, she already knew what he was preparing. Her eyes widened in fear when she saw him put a gun under his belt.

"What are you doing?" She asked in panic.

…

Rain begins to drizzle down from the moody night sky. He fumbles through his bag for the keys, while attempting to walk quickly, something dark catches the corner of his eyes; before he's able to react; he's grabbed by the collar of his shirt, and slammed against the outside wall of Theodor Hall.

"Ye fucking son of a bitch,..ye told ye da I tried to rape ye..?..." Brendan rages, with wild, dangerous, his lips are pursed, chest heaving with labored breathes. Ste's eyes widen in dear. His shoulder blades sting as they are pressed down with more brutal force against the cold brick.

"I didn't…" He whimpers.

"Don't, ye fucking play with me!" Brendan snarls.

"I….I am not, why would I say something like that?" He says with quivering lips.

"Then why ye fucking da came to my flat last night, and accuse me of fucking trying to rape ye?!" He rages, spit particles fly out from his mouth. Ste shakes his head violently, speechless. Now it made sense, the blood on his dad's hands.

"I am sorry…I didn't know he…"

"Ye think it's some fucking joke to accuse someone of rape?!" Brendan roars.

"I..swear I didn't say anything ...I..swear..I.." Ste cries out.

"So he just fucking came up with it by himself, huh?" Brendan shouts.

"No…me..me mum told him." He cries.

"Ye fucking told ye ma?" He asks in outrage. He grabs his hair and yanks it back. Ste cries out in pain.

"Noooo… she read my diary…" Ste cries in out; his eyes are squeezed shut, and his lips quiver in fear; tears begin falling down his cheeks mixing with rain drops. Brendan's eyes widen even further, his blood boils in anger.

"What?! You wrote about it?..." He asks in incredulity, yanking Ste's hair back further making him groan in pain. He tries to get Brendan's hands off, but he grips it tighter.

"Is it some of ye sick fantasies or something? Ye fucking disgusting…" Brendan spits in repulsion.

Ste shakes his head."No…noo…that's not what I wrote, I swear..." He cries. "..In…in my bag…the diary is in there…" He says. Brendan lets go of his hair. He watches in pure frustration as he grabs his bag with shaky hands, brings out his diary, he brought it so his parents wouldn't go through it again. He opens it. Brendan grabs it from him; rain drops fall on the page.

_September 13, 2015-_

_I thought he was a good person deep down; I thought maybe that, we could even become mates, who am I kidding, who wants to be mates with a freak like me, especially someone like him. I am weak; mentally and physically. I couldn't even defend my self when he lashed out at me, all I could do was run, like I always do, but I wish I hadn't though, I was beaten and almost raped, I was so scared, Brendan s_

Brendan breathes in and out heavily; his eyes linger on the page longer than intended. Ste looks down at his hands in humiliation.

"I never got to finish it, I heard me mum come up to me room, so quickly hid it, and forgot about it, she found it while cleaning my room…I didn't know my dad came to see you…I am sorry…I am sorry…" He whimpers quietly.

Brendan stares at him with wild eyes.

"I don't care what shit ye write in ye diary, but next time keep me fucking out of it, ye hear me." He growls.

"I am sorry…I..I was just gonna write that ya saved me.." He says quietly.

"Maybe I shouldn't have." He barks bitterly. Ste looks up at his with tearful eyes.

"You don't mean that." He says with a quiver. Brendan throws the diary on the wet ground and storms off without an answer.

…

He thought it was Cheryl, when he heard the loud knock on his door; she tended to forget her keys at home at time. He was taken by surprise when a punch knocked him to the ground, tried to get a glimpse of his attacker, but was kicked back down; the sound of the door being slammed shut echoed in the apartment.

"What the fuck….?" He had groaned in anger and attempted to rise, but then frozen in place when he saw a gun pointed at him.

"Tell me why! You sick son of a bitch! Why did you do it?!" A man had shouted in anger. Brendan looked at him in bewilderment, he didn't recognize the man. He was an older man, dressed in a immaculate gray suit, with graying hair, tall, tan, and had hazel eyes, he was definitely not around from here.

"Do what?!" He asked angrily in defense, he's done many things, and he's sure this was probably someone in his past he might have some how harmed, or indirectly affected with his recklessness, it was only matter of time he ended up in this kind of situation.

"You know what, you filthy Bastard?!" The man shouted, spit flying out his mouth.

"I've done many things; my brain can only hold so much memory…" Brendan hissed sarcastically, even though he knew it was probably a big mistake, but then again when had he ever given a fuck. The man reached into his pocket and brought out his wallet, opened it, and shoved in front of him.

"Look at him!" He had demanded. His eyes had widened in utter disbelief. It was a photo of Ste.

"Ye his da?" He asked with a labored breath. He was responded to with a punch in the mouth, he groan and clenches his jaw with his hand. His hair was pulled back and the gun was pressed to his temple, he had a knee pressed hard into his back.

"You thought you would get away with it, huh? Get away from hurting my son." He hissed.

"I didn't fucking do shit to ye son…." Brendan barked back. His head was yanked back further; he clenched his lips together in anger.

"You calling him a liar?" His dad asked in rage.

"Yea he's a filthy liar, I've never been near him." Brendan barked.

"You just beat him, and tried…tried to rape him!" His dad roared. Brendan literally had frozen, he couldn't believe what the man had said. _Rape._ He knows he's done everything, everything one could think of that would send him behind bars for the rest of his life, but _that. _That was one thing he would never do,_ ever. _

Ste's dad had mistaken his silence for acknowledgement of what he did.

"Now you remember you sick bastard, I am gonna make sure you never lay a hand on him ever again." The dad threatened. In a haste decision, Brendan turned around swiftly, knocked the gun out of his hand and wrestled him to the floor. Surprisingly for his age, he was strong. Brendan managed to grab the gun, and pinned him down with one foot, breathless.

"Go ahead shoot me; you won't get away with it." He had snarled. The man had guts he had to admit.

"I am not gonna shoot ye, because I haven't done anything wrong, what ever ye son told ye, he's lying. I may be everything, but one thing I fucking ain't, is a rapist." He growled. Ste's dad had looked up at him astounded. He took his foot off him.

"Get out my flat." He ordered thickly. He knew he could pound him, kill him, but he didn't want to, not when the man came all the way here in defense of his son, without even knowing what he was capable of; he felt bit of admiration for the man, he was willing to die for his own son, which he could never say about his own _father._

…

Ste was asleep in his room when his dad arrived home. He was unaware of what had happened.

"He said he didn't do it." Was the first thing that came out his dad's mouth. His wife had gasped in sheer disbelief.

"Did you not read this?! Did you not?!" She shouted, with the diary held firmly in her clammy hands. Ste had barged in, after he heard the commotion.

"What's going on?" He asked with wide eyes, looking from his mom to his dad, he noticed blood on his hand.

"Da what happened?" He asked and ran towards his dad.

"Tell him." His mom ordered.

"Tell me what?" He asked in oblivion.

His mouth widened when his dad held up the book to him. He snatched it from his hand

"You went through my stuff?" He asked.

"I found it accidently when I was cleaning your room…" His mom answered instead.

"You have no right to look through my private things! It's my stuff, you hear me." He shouted, his nose flared, and vein protruded from his neck, they had never seen him like that, never seen him angry.

"Don't speak to your mother that way, she's just looking out for you." His dad said with a heavy tone, and it's the first time he's used it towards him.

"It's okay, he's right I shouldn't have, but I got curious, you never tell us anything Ste….Why didn't you tell us?" She asks vulnerably. Ste looks down, expressing hurt and sadness.

"I…I already worry you both enough, I didn't want to add to it…" He said quietly. His mom went up to him, placed or palm against his soft cheeks, and looked at him lovingly.

"We want to know what your going through, how your feeling, everything; it worries us when you don't tell us." She said.

"I am sorry…" He says in a soft whimper. His dad walked up to him and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"It's okay…. just please next time let us know…I can't bare it, what if…what if he really did…" He mom was unable to finish.

"What if who?" He asked confused.

"The asshole who tried rape you…" His dad added.

He looks down in ignominy. His mom lifts up his chin.

"Ste please…who was it?...was..was it that guy?" She asked.

"What?"

"That..that guy on the motorcycle?" She asked. His eyes widened in bewilderment.

"How could you say that?" He asked perplexed.

"You..you wrote it in there." His mom said hesitation.

"No, I didn't." He said. She took the book from him and opened it to the page.

"Yes you did, look at it." She said in denial.

"You misunderstood, he...he saved me."

"What?" He mom asked in a heavy breath. His dad looked puzzled, he had already realized he hadn't done it, but he'd never guessed that he had saved him, why hadn't he told him then.

He fabricated most of his explanation, didn't want them to know exactly what happened. He said that he had accidently ran into Brendan's motorcycle which thus lashed out at him, and that evening he was on his way to the public library by foot, and was attacked, near an ally. Somehow Brendan had heard his cries for help, and saved him. He hadn't wanted to worry his parents with the state he was in so, he lied and said he was staying over at a friends, instead ended up staying at Brendan's because there was no other place he could go, said that Brendan was very kind, and gentle towards him. Even though his mom and dad did not like the fact Ste had stayed over at his apartment, they was relieved and thankful he saved their son, for all they knew it could've ended worse if he hadn't been there regardless of his intent.

…

Cheryl eye's had widened in horror when she saw Brendan's bruised face when she had come home late that night. She had been at her friend's dorm for two days, said they been dead busy with the group projects and exams. He didn't like her staying out alone, but he knew he needed to give her some space; however he was also some what thankful because if she had been home, she would have witnessed what had happened. But that didn't mean he was going to let her stay out every night because, he's _paranoid_.

"It's nothing Chez, just got in a brawl with some twat at the pub last night." He had explained. She just looked at him intently. It wasn't something she hadn't seen before, albeit it would be a surprise if he constantly came home clean, without a scratch or bruise; however it doesn't mean she doesn't worry, that it could end up being something worse than just a bruised face.

More than the horror of his bruised face was him brewing tea early in the morning.

"What's got you up so early in the morning?" She asks with amusement, as she staggers in her pink robe, and bunny slipper, with her hair tied up in a bun, towards the wooden kitchen counter. He looks up at her with a raised brow.

"Something wrong with me wanting to make some tea for my baby sister?" He asks with a smirk, and pours the hot liquid into a mug and glides it to her.

"Smells good." She says and takes a gentle sip, not wanting to burn her taste buds, she licks her lips, and takes a seat on the high wood chair. He looks at her with light smile, and pours some for himself.

"…it's gonna cut the circulation from ye finger if ye keep doing that." He says in amusement, and gazes towards her finger that is rapped in the thin silk string from her robe. She quickly unravels it, and snubs, takes another sip of her tea.

"What do ye want?" He asks suddenly.

"What you mean?"

"I know ye Chez, ye always give that look and play with things when he want something."

"What look?" She says in a pout and runs her fingers along the warm length of her mug.

"That one ye giving right now…ye only do that when ye want something." He says.

She looks up at him bashfully, then shifts a little in her chair.

"Well… you see I am going out with couple of me mates…and.."

"Who?" He asks abruptly.

"Just two of me mates…."

"Girls?" He asks with an edge to his tone.

"Brendan…seriously, does it matter?...and yes it is girls…why is it that you get to hang with anyone, and don't think I don't know that they are not exactly nicest people." She emphasizes the word _nicest_. "…but I can't hang out with my mates…." She declares heatedly.

"I didn't say that Chez, I am just trying to look after ye, I just want to keep ye safe…"

"It's just a bloody date with me mates, for a tea, a movie and some shopping…" she says aggravated.

"How much ye need?" He asks straight off. She looks up with wide eyes, and then looks down, her lips formed in a sulk.

"Well, things are bit expensive." She finally speaks, and looks up at him with her puppy eyes.

"I'll be back." He says and heads up to his room, he returns minutes later and slaps some cash on the counter, her eyes widen, when she counts.

"Oh my god, Bren, this is….four hundred pounds." She squeals excitedly. He always gives her money, but never this much, because he uses most of it to pay bills, and her and his tuition, but he made extra and well, he doesn't like seeing his baby sister upset.

He smiles lightly, and takes a sip of his tea. She runs around the counter and smothers him with a tight hug.

"Thank you, thank you! You're the best brother ever!" She squeals and kisses him hard on the cheek.

"Okay, okay, get off before I change my mind." He says, his eyes glimmer, seeing her so happy, even if it's just the money that makes her so, he's the one who provided it. It makes everything he does worth it, regardless of its dangers.

"Aren't you coming to class?" She asks as she gets off his motorcycle.

"Not with this face." He points. "Tell Mrs. Krabappel, I've got the flue or something."

Cheryl laughs. "I will." She says and gives him a kiss on the cheek, usually she's given him the cold shoulder, or snarky looks when she would get off, due to his over protectiveness, but lately it seems she's gotten used to his presence at school, which he's grateful for, because no matter what he's going to keep protecting her.

"Call me when ye get back, don't be too late." He shouts.

"I won't…" She says with a cheer and waves good bye, he watches as she walks off bouncy with excitement. He smirks, puts on his helmet and drives off.

…

As Ste had expected, Brendan hadn't shown up for Chemistry presentation, hence he and George to do it alone, luckily Cheryl was there to let Mr. Fox know Brendan was sick, he almost believed it, but Cheryl had let him know during break that Brendan got into his little fights he tends to get into, and earned himself a nice makeover. It made him laugh a bit.

"You should always smile, you so cute when you do." She says to him. He blushes lightly.

"Is he alright?" He asks.

"Yea he's fine, my brother's tough as a rock I tell you, oh…and thanks for yesterday."

He looks at her confused.

"Remember the presentation in Chemistry, which by the way was bloody brilliant who'd thought that chemical bonding could be so intense and interesting…." She rambles on.

"You did great as well." He adds. She snubs.

"Not as well as you two, what I am saying is, thanks for covering for Brendan, I know he doesn't deserve it, but I would hate for him to fail because of one project."

"He actually did do his part, I just edited it." He reveals. Her eyes widen in amazement.

"Really?...Wow, that's a progression I guess." She says dumbfounded, but he see's it in the glimmer in her eyes, that she's proud of him, and he doesn't have the heart to tell her, it's a lie, he didn't even write one word, or even read anything they had searched, he didn't expect it, and he felt it was the least he could do, after all, his face was in the state it was because of him unintentionally.

"Yea, he gave it to me two days ago." He lies.

"At least he's doing some work…..Oh… Ste...I've been wanting to ask you since yesterday…are you free this evening?"

"Ummm…yea, why?" He asks.

"Well..I ummm …I want to go buy an out fit, for this date..." She says, her cheeks flush in a bright pink. She can tell by the look on his face that he already knows what she's referring too.

"Please don't tell Brendan!" She abruptly pleads, holding onto his arm.

"It's none of my business, but why don't ya want him to know?" He asks curiously. She raises a brow.

"Come-on, you've seen how over protective he is, I know he means well but every bloke I have introduced to him, has left with a broken nose, or ran away, he can be proper intimidating, and right scary." She ends.

"Oh." Is all he manages to say, because he doesn't doubt it, knows first hand how scary and intimidating Brendan is.

"Don't worry, I won't tell him."

"Thank you...…so I was wondering if we could go together?" She asks with a sweet smile. He lets out a heavy breath.

"I am only asking because my girlfriends bailed out on me the last minute, and plus you're a bloke, so you would know more what looks good on a woman, and I can't ask Brendan obviously." She says. He looks at her, and sighs in defeat.

"….alright…when do you wanna go?" He asks. Her mouth turns into a wide grin. "After class today?" She asks excitedly.

"We can take my car…" He says with a light smile.

"Thank you so much Ste!" She says excitedly, gives him a kiss on cheek. They head off to class together, he realizes she's a proper chatter box unlike him, but he doesn't mind it, that someone's willing to actually talk to him, wants to talk to him.

…

It's a dog eat dog world, anyone that's a threat to Danny is a threat to _him_. So he had to do the _job_.

He was bombarded with questions, and banters regarding his face, he gave the same excuse he gave to Cheryl. They all laughed it off.

"I tell ya, woman dig men with scars." Walker says with amusement. Brendan huffs a laugh and jugs down a pint. He turns his head when he feels a hand on his shoulder, he's greeted by Danny holding onto a sexy, woman dress in nothing but pink bra and panties, he hired a great number of them, and closed the club for the night, to entertain them as a reward for going through the _plan_ successfully, and earned himself a generous amount of cash as well.

He watches with glazed lustful eyes as one of them provocatively lap dances for him, and he guesses Walker was right, he's been complimented on his bruises all day by the women, saying he looks sexy with them, makes him look, hard, tough, and masculine; made he laugh actually, but hey what ever floats their boats he thought. He's surrounded by more than one, and it's like a drug, makes him feel high, when he's so wanted, but it's nothing he doesn't already know, he's ego is far up his ass, as his cock is up their _bungalow_.

"Take turns ladies." Danny laughs as he takes a gulp of his beer, and amusingly watches the woman trying to eat Brendan up, with kisses and all the flesh touching.

"I like it this way." Brendan drawls seductively, and pulls in a burnet, by the hair and kisses her, another one begins to unzip his jeans, and pulls out his thick cock, and she salivates at the mere sight of it, she takes him into her mouth. After a heated session of blow jobs and kissing, he decides to take a break.

"And I thought I was the slut." Brendan drawls sarcastically, alerting Walker, who's draped with two women. He licks his lip stick stained lips. He signals the woman to give them some space, as he runs his hands through his long hair and offers Brendan the seat next to him.

"I've learned from the pro." Walker drawls with a filthy grin. Brendan raises a brow, as he takes a seat on the white couch, drapes his arm around the back.

"Right, unlike ye, I don't need techniques, they just come to me."

Walker laughs. "Modern Casanova… you are.."

Brendan smirks, grabs his glass of bear, and takes a sip; he licks his lips, and wipes the foam of his stache.

"Ye can call it whatever ye like…" He says and sets his glass down; Walker notices the change of tone.

"There's something you're not telling me?" Walker says.

"That's why I like ye, always ahead of the game." Brendan says.

"Always." He says with a smile. Brendan sniffles, and looks at him with sincere eyes.

"How's….Cam doing?" He asks. Walker looks down at the table, he bites his lips.

"He's till in coma…"

Brendan nods lightly, and lets out a heavy breath.

"We've been through this countless times Brendan, he's the one who went looking for it, if it wasn't you, he would've got the drugs from someone else.."

"I know, but still, he's ye brother and I can't, could never imagine…if…if…something ever like that happened to my sister…I wouldn't be able to forgive my self." He says in a low voice, with unfocused eyes.

"She's not stupid as Cam was."

"He's just a kid, Walker, he got involved with the wrong crowd."

"I kept warning him, told him it would screw him up, but hey who am I to speak, am a hypocrite at best." Walker says with a bitter tone.

"It's not ye fault, ye tried ye best."

"Apparently not, or else he would have listened, at least your sister listens to you." He says. The corner of Brendan's lip turns into a slight smirk.

"Because am following her all the time..."

"At least it's keeping her out of danger."

"She hates me for it though….says am over protective."

"It's better than be under protective, I wish I was, then maybe he wouldn't be in this state."

"Blokes are different; we have bit more of control in situations."

"Not Cam…"

"He overdosed, and that's my fault…not ye's." He says in a guilty tone.

"Being guilty about it isn't going to change anything Brendan, I've forgiven you, so why don't you forgive your self."

"I can't…..because if anyone…" He's interrupted by his phone beeping.

"It's my sister.." He says and presses the answer button.

"Ay Chez…..who's this?"

Walker watches as all color drains from his face, his pupils dilate, breath becomes shallow and deep, his hands begin to shake. He sits up hastily, and runs out, in a panic.

"Brendan!" Walker calls out to him, but he's long gone.

…

His heart stops, and he stumbles backwards, his breath becomes heavy, as he watches a group of nurses and doctors surrounded her bed covered in blood, only her blond hair is dyed in blood is visible from where he stands.

"CHEZ!?" He yells out and runs through the double doors.

"Sir, you cant be in here, please wait outside." A nurse orders, as she tries to push him outside.

"NOO!...let go of me!..That's my baby sister…" He cries out loudly.

"Sir you need to stay out, let them do their job." Another nurse says, as he attempts to force him out.

"Again!" The doctor orders, as they use a defibrillator on her.

"Nooo..please….I want to see her…please!" He cries out, as they man handle him out through the doors.

_BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP_.

Everything goes into deafening silence. He breaks away from the nurse, and rushes towards the doctors.

"NOOO! Ye can't just stop, do something! PLEASE! DO SOMETHING!...I..I got all the money ye need! PLEASE" He screams out; spit flying out his mouth, as he claws at the doctor's arm.

"Please calm down.. we tried everything, am sorry…she lost too much blood."

"NOO NOO! Not my baby sister, not my baby sister…she…she just started college, she's so young, she's just begun her life…she can't, not now..please…she can't…."

"I am so sorry.." The doctor says sympathetically.

"She can't…she can't…please…do something…"He break down, falls on his knees, his shaky hands are clamped on the doctors white coat stained with blood.

They take the oxygen mask off her face, and turn off the machines, and leave the room to give Brendan some time alone with her.

"Ye can't leave me Chez…ye can't..,please…I..I can't do this without ye…please…I love ye…I can't live without ye…I failed...I failed to protect ye.." He sobs, tears run down his pale cheeks endlessly. He lifts her cold hand in his warm clammy one, he sobs harder when he notices she's wearing the silver bracelet with a lock, that he gave her for her 20th birthday.

He holds onto her, till his eyes no longer shed tears. He kisses her forehead.

"I am so sorry...I love ye…" He says with a low distressed voice. He covers her with the white bed sheet, and leaves the room.

"We're so sorry for your loss sir, we tried…" The doctor says to him.

"Ye said she was in a car accident, she doesn't…didn't...know how to drive…so how..how was she in it?" He asks with a thick horsy voice, his hands clenched together.

"From what I've heard she was a passenger."

His breath becomes more shallows.

"Who….who was the driver?"

"A young man…he's was also critically injured."

"WHO?" He cries out furiously.

"I apologize but it's against our policy to give out personal information."

"I need to know! I need to know! He killed my baby sister!..." He shouts, his vein protrudes out his forehead.

"Calm down sir…according to the police report their vehicle was hit by a drunk driver, who was also killed during the collision; it was nothing either of them could have done."

Brendan grips his head, breathing in and out heavily, he grits his teeth together; his blood feels like its boiling. Suddenly he lashes out and starts kicking the wall, and turns over the wooden chairs by the white wall, screaming and shouting. The security guards rush over and seize him, they push him to the cold ground and force his hands behind his back.

"You need to calm down sir, we understand you're grieving, but acting recklessly isn't going change anything." One of the guards says, as he cuff him. They pull him up, and have him sit down in one of the chairs. He bends his head low, and sobs, and they stand by till he calms down.

He's uncuffed when the security guards think it's safe. The doctors tell him they will have Cheryl's body cleaned up and it's up to him what happens next. He tells them she wanted to be cremated, if she were to ever die, he always would get angry would she would talk about her dying, because he promised she would live a long, happy life, and she would out live him, she had too, and he would do everything to make sure of it.

He saunters down the hall lifelessly, drained of all emotion, body timid, and face pale, eyes lost of luster, hands clammy and stained with her blood. He looks up when he hears loud crying, he notices a woman on the floor, with a man next to her, trying to hold her up. He can't see their face though. He looks at them sympathetically, he understands the _loss_ what ever it is.

"Their son just had a terrible car accident couple hours ago, he's in Coma." Someone says. He turns and notices it's a nurse.

"I am Lynsy, their nurse." She says.

"When was he brought in?" He asks with a thick tone.

"Just over an hour ago, do you know him?" She asks. The look on his face gives it away.

"Was he alone, in the car?" He asks his voice half lost.

"No, there was a woman, but I heard she didn't make it." She says. His heart beats erratically; he steps away from the nurse.

"Are you okay?" The nurse asks, he turns and runs out the ER.

He falls to his knees and begins sobbing uncontrollably, grips his hair and rocks him self back and fourth, rain pours down with his tears.

* * *

><p>PLEASE REVIEW? If your still reading lol. Thank you!<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Hi my lovelies! I apologize for the delay, I've been dead busy, and barely had time to write. Feels so weird after not writing for a while, I missed it though, I hope your still reading. Forgive me for I had a huge writers block while I was attempting to write this, so it's shorter than the usual chapters, but I hope you enjoy, promise will try to update quicker if I am not so busy.

**...**

**Chapter 6**

**...**

He looked like a sleeping angel laid in the soft cushioned bed, covered in fresh white linen sheets. His parents took turns, to watch over him, even though he had a day and night nurse in his care 24/7.

Her thin, pale fingers brushed through his golden hair that was now longer, laid flat on his forehead.

They had rented a temporary home near the lake view hospital, that he was transferred to, a week after the accident. Thomas put a halt on the expansion of his second restaurant so that he had time to visit his son as much as possible; they had their doubts despite his doctors optimism regarding his recovery. Denial was inevitable; they knew the dark side of reality, just as they knew when they had first brought him home.

"It's lovely outside, isn't it?" Asked Ste's morning nurse, a warm smile painted across her lips. They turned to her, away from the window framing the blossoming trees along the lake.

"It's beautiful…" Ste's mom had smiled, but her eyes spoke otherwise. Her smile faltered when her eyes lay upon Ste. Her husband put an assuring hand on shoulder, "Here for morning check up?" He asked, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Actually, I am here to speak with both of you. I was going to call, but the receptionist informed me that you both came in early this morning."

Their bodies stood timid, as Ste's mom clasped her clammy hands together, to keep them from shaking; a nervous smile had appeared on her thin lips; the only other time they had been called before, was when the doctor gave them heart breaking news that Ste was most likely going to be in coma for more than half a year, according to his test results; it was only a month away from reaching that point.

"It's gonna be alright," her husband assured as the nurse began to put up scans on the X-ray wall.

"These are the new brain scans," She had pointed out to the ten scans hung. They stared intensely at them, even though they couldn't tell the difference between any.

"Do you see this part of the temporal lobe? It was darker two months ago, now look at this here," She points to the last. They step closer to get a better look.

"It's brighter." His dad said.

"Exactly, which indicates activity, within these past months the activity in his temporal lobe has increased dramatically, you can see the difference if you look at the last four scans, compared to the first six."

"Does that mean he can hear us now?" His dad asked sounding hopeful. The nurse smiled and answered, "According to these scan yes, and it's only matter of time before he gains function in rest of the area according to the brain specialist."

Tears fell down their eyes, as they both held onto his hands.

"Ste…it's your mom and dad…" His mom had begun.

…

The stars and full moon were deceptive in its glimmer, as tears dripped down his pale skin, stood in the white sand, watched as her pale ashes blended into the silent cold night; the waves; a harsh reminder that he was still alive; and she was _gone. _

He had waited four days before he could pick up her ashes from the Cremation Center. He had watched as her body was wrapped up in white plastic, duck taped, placed in a cardboard box; with a label on it, and hauled into the truck along side many other; like it was just an everyday shipment of _goods _ready to be transported to it's destination_, _the reality of it seemed cruel to him, he had preferred burial as its part of his Catholic beliefs, ironic you might say. But he had to fulfill her wish, using half his savings for it, not that it mattered, he would trade his life for hers in a heart beat if he could.

To his incredulity, some families preferred to watch as their loves ones were cremated. It was an unconceivable thought to him; to watch her body disintegrated in blazing fire, in a metal chamber for an agonizing two hours and a half, as he had been informed. Watching would have been death it self, even though he _welcomed_ it, he was nothing but an empty husk anyways.

He sat rigidly, in the old beige brocade arm chair, as he gazed unblinkingly into the dark emptiness of his cold living room. Flickering dim lamp light casted on his emotionless face, dripped in exhaustion. The silence was eerie, the tiniest of sounds echoed; the drippings of the faucet, the _tick, tick_, of the clock that hung on the wall that was once white, but now stained by a mustardy hew, and the endless buzz of flies hovering and savagely attacking the stale breakfast left over's set on the dinner table. On the lamp table, was Cheryl's shattered phone plugged into the charger, it had survived the accident, but was locked. In his hand was a card, which he found in a box of Cheryl's belongings he had picked up at the hospital. Amongst the rest, there had been two shopping bags, one with a pair of red heels, two dresses, and in the other bag; a white button up, with a light pink collar and cuffs, and a black box, wrapped, placed on it was the card.

_To my biggest, baddest and best brother ever, HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY! With every passing year your becoming more of pain in my arse, but also every year that passes I love you more each time, you git. _

_You better wear the shirt, you look the grim reaper with all the black you wear all the time, and I hope the bracelet fits, your wrist is almost as tiny as mine! A heart is drawn next to it._

_Love, _

_Chez _

He had fallen to the floor, sobbing harder than ever. He hadn't realized it was his birthday that _day_, never cared to remember in all honesty, as his past memories of it had been nothing but bleak and torturous; but now he was always going to _remember._

Students and professors had been startled by his sudden appearance, it had been his last resort after his attempts to unlock her phone had failed. He had dropped out days after the accident, and the news of Cheryl's passing had been spread rather quickly. So there he had stood, a month later, eyes heavy, hair unkempt, dark circles painted around his eyes, made his pale blue eyes even more strikingly bright; his face was covered in thick stubble; he looked ravaged; they all looked at him sympathetically.

"Did ye see who she left with?" He had asked three girls who claimed to be her friends; however to him, they appeared gormless and spiteful.

They failed to give him any answer pertaining her whereabouts a month ago, and whom she'd been hanging out with prior to the accident. They were apparently only study buddies, and never hanged out with her outside of school yet called them selves friends. He had closed in on them, demanding answers, even though they kept saying they didn't know, but he couldn't hear; he didn't want to hear.

"Ye must fucking know something!" He had lashed out, as spit flew out his mouth. They _were_ supposed to know; _friends are suppose to know things about you._ But then again he had always known, the idea of friends was just a figment of peoples imaginations to make themselves feel _needed_, and important. It was all bull shit to him. The professor although sympathetic, grabbed his arm and demanded that he go, but it just raged him, pushed him violently, falling to the floor in a heap, students had backed up to one side of the room as he unleashed his fiery; flipping and kicking desks, chairs, as he shouted and screamed savagely. Security guards had stormed in when the professor had called for help; he was tackled to the ground by three of them, till he was finally restrained.

Danny had bailed him out after spending couple days in prison; once Brendan had informed Walker about his arrest. He had been charged with damaging private property, and harassment on faculty and students.

…

He had checked his miserable reflection in the mirror, ready to head to the club to see Danny, and rest of the gang; needed money; for the first time he had gotten a warning for eviction; his unpaid bills had stacked up over the couple of months. It was when he was about to leave, the number 69 on his black shirt caught his attention; it was_ reversed._

3891 had been the pin, the year of his birthday backwards. He had attempted countless time before, using his birthday, hers, and everyone he could possibly think of.

He had sat on the edge of his bed; tears ran down his cheeks as he stared at the photo on screen. He remembered that day like it was _yesterday._

_They were still in their old tiny rundown apartment, she had been home sulking; thought he had forgotten her birthday; but then had surprised her with a double chocolate fudge cake, garnished in rainbow sprinkles; her favorite, and he had bought a candle shaped in the number 19, she had been overly excited, and jumped at him; squeezed him tightly in a death hug, he referred to as; they were only given on rare occasions, however it always warmed his heart each time. He could never forget the happiness in her eyes, like he had brought the world to her, it meant that much, and if he could, he would bring the world to her, but that was all he could afford; the cake, and that bracelet, she had worn on the day of the accident. _

_To his demise and ill-fate, he had been forced to wear a cone birthday hat, with cheap graphics of colorful of balloons he had picked up at some party store, his intention had been to buy only one for her, for the sake of lost childhood memories she should have had, but to his dismay the shop only sold them in a pack of four, he had badgered and said he didn't need them all, and insisted he only wanted to buy only one, but it was a no deal, he had to leave with all four or none. T__o add to his misery, she had forced him to take a picture with her in that stupid hat, with a dinky cheap flip, phone he had given her a year ago; the sound of the buttons were beyond annoying, whenever she would text with it, and the chipping of the pink latex paint was a sore to the eye; he had a heavy desire to break it, and buy a new one, but then, he barely had enough to cover bills; her being sheltered, and safe, was his priority above all other things. He would buy one, once he could afford it. _

_He had protested when she pestered him about taking photos, he detested taking them, but then she had been conniving, threatening him, that she would tell her friends that he was afraid of spiders; not that he gave rats ass about some what some late puberty high school runts thought, but he had a reputation to live up to. So he sat there with a frown on his face, arms crossed, as she put one arm around his neck, and began clicking away, eventually after countless retakes, she had one she was pleased with apparently, one she refused to show him. _

And now here it was set as a wallpaper background, on the shattered screen of her new touch phone, he had finally managed to buy her. Half her head cut off, only her bright blue eyes and wide smile showing, with her arm around his shoulder, like she's forcing him to sit still. They don't match at all, she looks so innocent, bubbly and sweet, with daisy blonde hair, pink dress, and him, dressed in his black leather jacket, and shirt; looking like a most wanted criminal, with a premature YMCA mustache, sat above his lips that were pressed together, brows raised, his expression could only be described as irritation and annoyance, but there's a glimmer in his bright blue eyes speaks otherwise.

His chuckled sorrowfully at the memory, as his tears blurred the screen.

…

They hadn't expected him to get a panic attack, when they surprised him with a sleek 2015, Navy BMW for his twentieth birthday; they were aware that he was still sensitive about the accident, but they didn't think he was going to be that affected by a car, they ended up storing it covered in their second garage; till he was ready to drive again.

He was more isolated than ever before, locked himself in his room all day, barely uttered a word. It was as if time had _reversed_ and he was that little boy again, they had picked up from the adoption center the first time. Even though it was the same home they brought him back to, he appeared apprehensive and alienated to it, any sound or light triggered painful memories of that un-fateful night. His was diagnosed with; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and was suggested therapy.

It wasn't _easy_, he had screamed, cried, when they took him for the first time. They ended up leaving minutes after the first session had begun; they couldn't handle seeing him going through it again, it had been hard the first time when they took him as a child. His nights were now plagued by constant nightmares; he shut down on them when they took it in their hands to get him help him, but he wouldn't; they felt helpless.

The therapist had suggested they take him on vacations that would help ease his mind, give him new memories, which can replace the dark ones consuming him, a change of scenery was a great remedy, they had been told. A week in Hawaii was there first stop, then, the Bahamas, and then Italy; beautiful sceneries, filled with vibrancy.

It hadn't been, till summer had nearly ended, that they began to see slight signs of improvement; it was enough for them; they had hope that he would get better even though it could take a while, they would be patient, just like they had while he was in coma for nine agonizing months.

His dad had taken him to his restaurant; wanted to show him the new one; he watched him cook up practice dishes for the new menu.

"Can I try that?" Ste had asked dad as he blow torched a crème-brule, in response he had burned him self; shock that he had asked something for the first time in months. For the remainder of the summer Ste had been oddly interested in watching his dad prepare dishes, and recipes; it somewhat fascinated him the need to pay attention to detail, to make a course edible; he'd only seen food as food before, but the way his dad prepared it, was like a form of art to him. He began to write notes and kept track of things his dad did and said; even though he still hadn't talked much, but regardless, his interest in cooking was a good sign.

In fall of 2016, he had finally enrolled back into college, he was a year behind; albeit still refused to drive, and instead insisted on taking the bus when his parents offered that they could drive him. He was still quiet in his classes. He had taken up a cooking class, which had become his favorite, kept his mind off of other things, he was focused, determined and his attention to it was unfaltering.

"You want to become a chef?" His Professor Tony had asked.

"Um…I…dunno." He responded quietly, almost like he was embarrassed at the notion.

"Well you got a real knack for it, Mr. Hay; I'de say you're the best in class." He had complimented with a smile.

Ste's cheeks had flushed and a slight smile appeared on his lips. It wasn't just his professor that had noticed his skill, his dad realized it when he had finally allowed Ste to use the kitchen of his restaurant to show him what he had learned in his cooking class.

"I could serve this in the restaurant you know." His dad said, and he had; during winter break, he had Ste working in the restaurant cooking dishes from the menu; he wanted to add some of his own dishes, but his dad said he needed bit more time and practice, but at the moment it seemed to make him happy, he was earning a salary for the first time; it was money he was working for, rather then it just been given to him. It was just bit of light, in the darkness that surrounded him.

…

The name: _Nate_, had caught his attention, when he looked through her contact list of only eleven including him, Ste, professors, and girls he didn't know.

Nate had been caught by surprise when Brendan had shown up at his dorm, Walker apparently knew someone at the school, who allowed him to get into the dorms without getting into trouble, he was there to see a mate, he had put it. He had been searching for him for almost a week; and to his surprise Nate looked older and more mature than he had imagined; expected him to be some twat, sleaze ball; similar to most guys Cheryl introduced to him. But the guy in front of him seemed the complete opposite; a senior in college, studying law, he was polite, reserved, but that didn't stop him from shoving him against a wall in his own dorm room, baring his teeth menacingly at the older boy, and demanding answers as to why he was on his sisters contact list without his knowledge.

Cheryl had been seeing him for only couple days before the accident according to him, they had apparently been friends at first, then soon evolved into something more; the thought had twisted a knot in his stomach, it was the first time he had not known about one of Cheryl's boyfriends, had she lost trust in him, did she no longer care what he thought? Or was she just plain sick of him? The thought was like a stab in the chest. "I…I was supposed to meet her the next day, but she never called me… that's when I had heard about the accident." Nate had said with a look of sadness and sympathy in his silver eyes. It took all his strength to not beat him to a pulp; no one got near his sister without him knowing; and this one he would have most likely not minded knowing; only if she had told him; he had forced him self to let go, there was no use; he wasn't the person he was looking for.

He collapsed to floor, breathing heavily; his breath shallow, he felt like he couldn't breath, his stomach turned, and violently vomited; nothing but fluids; bitter and sour. His finger tips dug into the carpet; and as he let out faint cries. On floor was Cheryl's phone, with a picture of her and Ste smiling, in her hand two shopping bags; in the corner, the date; _09/27/15._

He roared his motorcycle into their drive way, the house was dark, but that hadn't stop him. He banged on the door and waited, but no answer, so he had pounded on it harder, and harder, bruising his already bruised knuckles. "Fucking shit!" He cursed. He stood waiting outside by the front porch for hours; expected that they might arrive home anytime soon. He hadn't realized he had fallen asleep, till his head had banged against the hard wood. He had called him but it went to automatic voice mail, and the texts he had sent where never replied too; he did it for days on end, and after endless months of looking, it was all in vain, they boy had vanished.

Nights were marred by endless thoughts of what if's; and plagued by nightmares; each time a different scenario of the accident, recreated by his dark imagination, and pessimistic thoughts. Regardless, the out come was always the same, Ste just stood there, expressionless, with cold eyes, no scratch or mark on him; taunting him mockingly, while below his feet was Cheryl, sprawled on the cold ground, lifeless, covered in blood.

Every second, and minute was torturous, his mind constantly consumed in thoughts of her; what her final moments must have been, her thoughts, her fear, had she been happy before it? It had begun to eat him alive, to the point of insanity.

_"Take what ever time ye need," Danny had said to Brendan when he had showed up at the club looking like a dead man walking; he had learned of the terrible news he had kept from them, even though Danny had been angry, and disappointed, to Brendan's surprise he showed him a soft side he had seldom seen from the man, who could easily order a kill as he could smash a fly on the wall. _

That time had soon become months. One night Walker had come to his flat, after he had failed to answer any of his calls, found Brendan, unconscious in his room, rushed him to the ER, the doctors had said he could have died if it had been found any later. He had overdosed on Alcohol and sleeping pills.

To Walkers bafflement, it hadn't fazed Brendan that he had almost died.

"Are you that stupid, do you realize what could have happened?!" Walker had shouted alarmingly, for the first time Brendan had really seen, how much Walker actually cared for him, despite them being gang buddies.

"I am here, aren't I." Brendan had said dauntingly. Walker had told him he needed to get over it; Brendan responded hot headedly, earning Walker a bloody nose.

"She wont come back Brendan! She's fucking gone, alright, get that through your thick fucking head! She gone just like Cam is!" He shouted, whipping the blood from his noise, instead just smeared it more. His eyes had widened at the revelation, Walker hadn't told him, because the guilt he had towards his sister was already enough, he didn't want to add the guilt of his brothers death on him too. He apologized to him over and over, now more than ever, he knew what Walker must be going through, it was a mutual understanding.

...

His eyes open slowly; a blurry whiteness clouds over his vision, his lashes flicker, as he closes his eyes and opens them again, the whiteness is now covered by a darkness, which soon transits into an in human face, a very familiar one.

"Ye up?" He asks thickly. He turns his head to either side of himself; his heart begins to race, it's all familiar, he's in Brendan's room, it doesn't make sense. His gaze upon him is wild, and the blue of his eyes are daunting, contrasting his dark lashes, pale face, and facial hair, which makes him appear extremely intimidating, more so than before.

"Ye so fucking weak." Brendan snarls, his face coming close to his. Ste swallows, laid there speechless for a few seconds.

"How, did ya know?" He asks with a faint voice.

_Brendan was on his way home, in his new route he had began to take home just days before; and on his way, his gaze had fallen upon the sign, Hays, he had halted his motorcycle near it, just staring at it, not evening knowing it belonged to Ste's dad, but the name just kept starring at him, but then, then he had seen him walk out of the restaurant. Ste hadn't noticed him till he walked out bit further and literally froze, like a deer caught in head lights. Brendan stepped off his motorcycle; and he had turned and ran in impulse, but Brendan was fast, he caught up to him quickly, grabbed his arm._

_"Where ye think ye going?" He asked thickly, as if it was just yesterday he had seen him._

_"Please…let me go" Ste cried faintly, Brendan ignored him._

_"Ye think I wouldn't find ye?" He hissed._

_Ste struggled as Brendan practically dragged him towards the motorcycle, despite his protests. It was cold, and there was no one outside._

_"Get the fuck on." He demanded with a menacing tone, Ste knew he couldn't fight him, so with shaky legs he had got on, both of them helmetless. They had roared ragingly through the streets, the cold wind colliding with their face, he tried to maneuver his head so that the wind wasn't so harsh, he could feel Brendan's warm, but rigid body underneath his cold black leather jacket, his body felt more toned, hard. Then he had seen the red light, "What ya doing?" He asked, with quivering lips, his voice laced in fear. _

_"Please….nooooooo…" He cried out as Brendan sped towards it ignoring his cries. Ste buried his face into back, as he held on for dear life. Brendan had come to a screeching halt, at the side of road, they had made it through the red light. He had played with death, but it didn't want them. Ste's arms were still clasped around him, but when he had told him to let go, he didn't so he pried his hands off, and got off the bike, but to his shock, Ste's body slumped over, he had caught him in time, he had fainted._

Brendan grips his arm and pulls him up from the bed. Glaring at him dangerously, "Why? Why didn't ye tell me?" Brendan asks thickly. Ste's lips quiver; he stares into his empty and cold eyes, he was speechless.

"Ye fucking deaf!"

Ste's lips tremble, "I am..sorry." He says in a whimper.

"Ye sorry?! Ye fucking sorry?...She died! She fucking died!" He screams bone shatteringly, eyes filled with rage, "and ye here, fucking well and alive, why?! Did ye deserve to live more than her?...Huh? Is that what ye think? You think ye life was more precious than hers?..ye nothing! Nothing but piece of...shit, that cant even fucking stick up for himself..." He goes on like a mad man, spit flying out his mouth, breathing heavily, not even given Ste a chance to respond to anything, not that he could with how terrified he look, tears fall down his face as he shakes his head continuously.

"Fucking speak!" He shouts.

"I am sorry," Is all he can say, because how is he suppose to know the reason why he's alive and his sister not.

"I don't need to hear ye filthy apologies, I don't need to fucking hear them!..." He shouts, runs his hand over his face, "Tell me…tell me how it happened?" He asks, his voice raspy, and exhausted, almost pleading.

_After couple hours at the shops in the square center mall; Cheryl and Ste finally were done shopping at for that night, she had told Ste that it was Brendan's birthday and she wanted to leave earlier so she could pick up a cake for him, before they headed home. Ste wanted to know the time, because he was suppose to call his parents before nine; his phone was somewhere in his bag in the back seat, so he asked her to check hers. She had fished for in her bag, but then had clumsily dropped it, she couldn't reach for it, so she took off her seat belt, and bent down to fetch it, and that second Ste had watched; and when Cheryl had looked up, they were blinded by a bright light, and before they could even realize what it was, everything faded to black._

He's breathing heavily; heat radiating off him like a steam engine. Ste begins to apologize repeatedly, tears falling down his face like a fountain, but it just rages Brendan even more, hands fisted together, lips set in a thin line; his face distorted in utter rage. Suddenly a lamp flies across the room, it's glass shatters when it comes in contact with the wall, darkening the room in an instant. His heart begins to race frantically, he cries and begs for him to stop, as Brendan reeks havoc on his own room, destroying anything in his path. He's trembles, and cries as he attempts to stop Brendan whose punching the wall, that's dripping of blood from the force of them, but then suddenly he feels a sharp pain when his boney back crashes into the wall violently with force of his Brendan's shove, his hands are clasped tightly on his shirt, his face only inches away from emitting his hot heavy breath against his face. The intensity of his gaze, is burning and deadly, he might not have died in the accident, but he's certain today, he's going to die in his hands.

His lips tremble as unimaginable fear runs through his every nerve. Any word would have been better than the un hinged gaze and silence upon him. Then suddenly all his senses are alerted, his body freezes, as he feels hot flesh against his lips; it's a blend of warmth, tingling sensation, and a feeling so alien to him; but it's not till he feels a wet tongue forcing between his quivering mouth, that he's fully aware of what's happening, it startles him, he hastily pushes Brendan away, causing him to stumble back over broken pieces of furniture. Both their eyes are wide as they stare at each other like feral animals. The sounds of their heavy breathes is loud amongst the eerie silence.

"Get out …" Brendan suddenly says his voice raspy, his gaze not focused on him. But Ste doesn't budge, his hands against the wall keeping his shaky knees from buckling under him.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Brendan shouts abruptly, throws a bag at him, alerting him. He notices it's his bag; he quickly grabs it with his shaky hands, and dashes out his room.

* * *

><p><strong>Please review?<strong> It really motivates me to write. ^_^ And once again sorry for the delay for those still reading.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N Thank you for the reviews! ^_^ Really keeps me going. I apologize for this chapter if it's not that great, I had a massive writers block while writing this. I don't know how long it will be till the next update because I am very busy at the moment, but I hope you still stick through. Anyways hope you enjoy for those still reading. Much love!

** ...**

** Chapter 7 **

**...**

His parents were beginning to think he was finally coming out of that dark hole they have been desperately trying to pull him out of.

"You could buy land and built your own restaurant instead," Ste had said when his dad had declared to him and his wife, that he was going to move the old restaurant to another location, closer to down town area.

After months of searching for a location, his dad had finally found the idle spot; and done as Ste had suggested.

Every weekend he would drive down with his dad to the construction site and watch as their restaurant came to life. It fascinated him, he'd never seen a building being constructed from it's foundation. The job of a construction worker seemed so dangerous and exhausting. He could never imagine himself doing what they did; carrying heavy materials, surrounded by dangerous equipment daily. He noticed how majority of them were bulky and strong, it made him feel even more self conscious of himself than he already was.

But regardless of his parents new optimism regarding his recovery, Ste was still far from it; he just learned to make it less obvious, because he didn't want worry them anymore than they could handle.

They bullying had started again months after he began his second semester, when to his surprise a new popular girl in his cooking class, Rae, confessed that she fancied him, by placing a note on his desk one day, _I like you, _simple as that. He hadn't believed it, how could a pretty, sweet and kind girl like her, like someone like him, it wasn't until she had suddenly kissed him on the cheeks one afternoon after class that he finally realized. Despite it, he still didn't understand why she even liked him; he didn't believe he has any qualities anyone would like about him.

He would help her in class whenever she'd ask him even though he knew it was only so she could speak to him, but as always he was a bag of nerves whenever she talked to him, it was a reason why she had liked Ste, he was different from the other guys who just wanted to get into her pants; like the three guys that sat in the back of the class glaring at him every chance they could, their gaze like daggers, when ever they saw Raw with him.

One Tuesday afternoon he had gone to his locker to retrieve his note book and utensils for cooking class, but instead he found it filled with trash that smelt horrible and a note that was stuck on the inside of the locker door.

_No one wants to eat filthy shit you make, it's disgusting just like you. We saw you eyeing up the professor, I bet if that sweet bird found out you cant give her the dick she needs, she will toss you like the dirty trash you are, she needs someone who can show her what a real man is like, not some faggot! _

He didn't understand, he never had thought of Tony as anything but his professor; was maybe due to the fact he always would blush and smile shyly, whenever Tony would praise him regarding his work or when he would use him as a good example for other students to follow, regardless it made no sense to him. He's never thought of a man, or even looked at any; besides Brendan, who was different from others; he just seemed powerful and dominant and his relentless need to protect his sister had been a quality he really liked about him, regardless of his broody and intimidating nature. And then Brendan had kissed him, or at least he thought he did; he couldn't deny that it hadn't affected him, but he convinced himself that it was just a tactic Brendan used to scare him, because there was no way someone like Brendan could be gay and more so, there was no way he could like someone like _him._

He tried his best effort to stay away from Rae, as much as he liked her, he didn't want any trouble. However, regardless of his _efforts_ to stay clear of Rae, she still stuck around, even more so than before, because he had never really point out told her to stay away, he wasn't that kind of guy, he couldn't hurt someone's feelings so easily, especially a girl so kind as her. He had thought that maybe the guys would eventually leave him alone if they saw it wasn't him following Rae, but the other way around, however it didn't seem to be case. The bullying still continued; it was mainly in class; his ingredients would be mixed up at times, or pushed onto the ground when ever Tony was not looking; would say he accidently dropped it. His note book had been stolen, said he lost it on the bus. But regardless of Tony's oblivion towards the bullying, he noticed the change in him.

"I just wanted to speak to you regarding your performance in class, I mean everything you've done thus far has been phenomenal, but I've been noticing that the quality of your dishes and concentration in class have not been the same these past weeks…." Tony had said one day after class.

"Sorry...it's...it's just I've been proper busy at work lately and well with the work with all my others classes...I've been tired…" He had lied. Luckily Tony hadn't questioned him further, told him if he needed any help he would be there for him, he was grateful, but of course he didn't need any help on his work. It wasn't that he didn't trust him, he was his favorite professor after all, but he just couldn't tell him; it would make it worse than it already was.

There was only one thing that didn't sit to well with him regarding Rae, what she didn't lack on the outside, she lacked in brains. He had some what hoped that she would catch onto what was happening since she sat with him most of the time in class, but she was as clueless as a door knob and he could never tell her. Soon the bullying had escaladed from mental to physical one evening, on their way to a cooking competition. One of the guys had tripped him and caused him to fall down a flight of stairs which resulted in a broken arm and twisted ankle. Even when the his parents demanded answers, Ste kept saying it was an accident and since there had been no one to prove otherwise it was kept as so.

He had to stay home for a month till he recovered and it was those times, when memories of Brendan came flooding to him, how he had protected him all those times he was bullied, but he was gone and could no longer protect him, even though he knew it was never just for the sake of protecting him, he had just seemed to always be there at the right time, but still it didn't change the fact he had saved him many times. Cheryl had always complained to him about how her brother was over protective and paranoid, he pretend to understand, but in reality, he always envied her for it; wished he had someone who would always be there to protect him, not that his parents didn't try their best too, but it just wasn't the same, they couldn't follow him twenty-four seven, they had their own life and work, he didn't want to tie them down than he already has.

…

Money was flowing in faster than it had ever before; but he didn't save it like he used to, besides for bills there was no reason anymore. His life was now a reckless routine that consisted of illegal activities, clubbing, gambling, drinking, women and SEX.

What happened with the boy, had just been a mistake, a rash impulse fueled by rage, Brendan had convinced him self, after drinking him self into oblivion and fucking countless women had not erased the poisonous memory of the _boy_ in his head, it went against his beliefs, even though he himself knows he is far from a saint, but that didn't mean he would ever cross that line, it wasn't, _isn't_ who he is.

He hadn't taken the road that passed Hay's restaurant for several months, to avoid any risk of running into the him; but one night, for the sake of not wanting to drive through crazy traffic on a Friday night, to get to his poker game on time, he decided to take the route.

It soon had become his regular route again when he realized the boy was no where in sight, albeit every time he passed the restaurant it reminded him of the boy, but it didn't matter anymore because he was now a long gone memory and he could barely remember what he looked like, at least that's what he had thought, until he spotted _him_ walking one warm night.

He was wearing his white sleeve uniform shirt and black trousers. His head was bent down as he was walking down the brick pavement, not paying attention to his surroundings. It wasn't till he had driven up to him, had Ste looked up, looking like a deer caught it head lights, well technically speaking it was true.

The light on his motorcycle was casting on his face, accentuating all those features he thought he had forgotten; the soft dirty blonde hair, golden skin, those bright blue eyes framed by long lashes, high cheek bones and those soft pink, plump _lips_.

"Steven…" he had said before he could even stop himself. But Ste had turned around and ran quickly; it was obvious that the boy was still frightened by him. He sped up and caught up to him within seconds and blocked him with the motorcycle, he could see the fear in the boy's eyes, he was shaking, "W..what do you want?" he asked with quivering lips.

"What ye doing out here in middle of the night?" He ignored his question.

"Going home…" He answered with a faltering gaze.

"Walking?"

"Missed the last bus…"

"In middle of the night?" Brendan asked with a raised brow.

"Just got off from work,"

"Where's ye car?"

"Don't have it…."

"Where is it?"

"Home…" he answered quietly.

Brendan's gaze was intense, "Ye parents let ye out this late at night without a car?"

Ste looked up automatically in response, "It wasn't there choice…" his voice was bit louder than he had expected.

"What ye mean?"

"I..I don't drive anymore.."

If Brendan hadn't listened well, he would've missed it.

"Why not?" He was beginning to sound like an interrogator.

Ste looked down; he had begun to fiddle with his fingers, looking up at Brendan once every few seconds, "I…I just cant…" his fear seemed to have decreased, considering the fact Brendan had not attacked him like last time.

It had only taken a few seconds for Brendan to connect the dots, "Why didn't ye ask ye parents to pick ye up?" He had asked shifting away from the real reason.

"They're in London…."

Brendan raised a brow in surprise, "And left ye?"

"It's their anniversary..."

Brendan let out a snort, "Couldn't call a cab?"

"Dunno," Ste had said quietly. Truth was he wasn't only afraid of driving a car, but also to drive in car, accept with his parents. And the bus was an exception, it's bigger.

"Hop on, I'll drop ye home," Brendan had said, he knew the dangers of the night, especially with a boy like him.

Ste looked up at him hesitant, Brendan had almost laughed at how scared the boy looked of him, not that he blamed him, he's more built and his beard, even though trimmed, now fully covered.

"I am not gonna hurt ye Steven," he said in low voice and stared at him till Ste relented and climbed on, he had no helmet, the last time he had one was when he had dropped Cheryl off at Uni almost two years ago, on the day she died.

"This new?" Ste had asked, Brendan was surprised, because the boy never ever usually asked anything.

"Yea...ye better not scratch it boy..." He said and drove off.

It was a silent drive to Ste's house; those memories he had worked so hard to forget were now twirling in his head and with the boy's warm breath against the back of his neck, and his armed wrapped around his waist didn't make it any better.

"Ye squeezing me.." He said to Ste when he began to feel hot all over, he convinced himself it was only because he was still wearing a leather jacket in spring, only he'd do _that._

Ste had slowly loosened his grip on his waist, but still clenched tightly onto the material of his leather jacket, even though it wasn't a car, he is still afraid.

Just when he had thought it was all going to be over, the situation had become worse when Ste told him he lost his key; the negative side of him wanted to think the boy did it on purpose, but reality of it was the boy was too naïve to even think of such a thing, it was his own twisted mind that had wanted to manipulate the situation so that he didn't feel guilty about the thoughts running through his head.

"Maybe there is a spare key somewhere, check above the door and under the doormat," Brendan said and he wished he hadn't because, when the boy had done so, his shirt had ridden up, revealing the golden skin just above the hem of his pants, making his blood boil.

"Ye can stay at mines... till ye parents come back," the words had escaped his mouth before he could stop them.

"I…I don't wanna bother you…" Ste had said quietly, fiddling with his nails.

"Nothing bothers me Steven, not anymore."

…

Ste's startled at the state of his flat; the kitchen sink is filled with unwashed dishes, dinning table covered in pizza boxes and Chinese take out containers, clothes scattered along the hall, whisky bottles all over the place; it's worse than he remembers.

Brendan pulls his jacket off, revealing toned body emphasized by his black short sleeve fitted shirt.

"Sit down, ye look like ye about to fall," Brendan says with a bit of amusement as he tosses his jacket onto the couch.

Ste looks like a shack of nerves as he takes a seat on the couch, but he feels something poking him, he reaches under himself and pulls out what ever it is; his cheeks flush when he notices it's a red bra.

He quickly tosses it on the ground when Brendan turns around and walks over towards him; two glasses in hand. He shifts slightly when Brendan joins him.

"I..I don't drink.." He says when Brendan hands him a glass.

"Ye joking?" Brendan says with a raised brow.

Ste shakes his head lightly.

"This stuff is magical, ye missing out" he says and takes a sip of it, Ste eyes are on him like he's some fascinating creature. Brendan licks his lips and holds it out to him, "Just try it, it's not that bad."

Ste looks hesitant for a moment, but then reaches for it his finger tip slightly touches his; causing an electric charge down both their bodies. Brendan's gaze on him is like a hawk as Ste tips the glass to his plum lips, watches his Adams apple bops when he attempts to swallow, but instead chokes on it. Brendan takes the glass from his and pats him lightly on the back to help him recover from it, "It's strong stuff, but ye get used to it after a while," he says and sets the glass on the lamp side table, his hand still at the small of Ste's back. They just linger there barely touching but he can still feel the heat radiating through the material of his shirt. Ste's gaze flickers off and on him timidly, not knowing what to say.

He licks his lips and slowly slides his arm over the back of the couch, allowing the boy to breath a bit, however now his hand is only inches away from the back of Ste's head, his fingers wiggle like spider legs so tempted to touch the soft hair on the back of his slender neck that's framed by the pristine white collar of his shirt, "Ye still going to uni?" he asks, breaking the silence and taps his fingers against the material of the couch, to distract himself from doing anything stupid.

Ste nods, "Yea…" and begins fiddling with his fingers _again._

"Ye always do that?"

"What?" Ste asks oblivious.

"Ye seem to be fascinated with ye fingers, do they do something I don't know about?" he asks in a low voice.

Ste looks down at his fingers that are still moving and automatically pulls them back and sets his hands to the side, "No…it's…it's just a habit.." he says quietly, his eyes fluttering in embarrassment.

Brendan can't stop starring at his lips that are formed in a pout, he seems to do that a lot, wonder's if the boy even realizes it.

"This most I've seen ye talk," he says.

"I don't talk much…" Ste responds quietly.

"Why not?"

Ste shrugs slightly, "No one really talks to me…only Cheryl…" he stops when he realizes what he's about to say.

Brendan's body suddenly becomes rigid, he sits up straight and moves his arm off the back of the chair, he bites his lips and sniffles, "It's getting late...ye should get some rest," he says coldly and stands up.

"I am sorry…" Ste says quietly not looking at him.

Brendan ignores him and storms off towards his room.

…

He rubs his eyes open; everything is blurry, he sits up slowly and notices a gray blanket draped over him, doesn't remember when it was put on him. He notices a white piece of folded paper on the lamp table that wasn't there last night. He reaches for his glasses and opens it up,

_There is cereal on dinning table and some milk in the fridge, if it's spoiled just eat it plain till I come back _

He stares at the paper for a few second before putting back on the lamp table. He checks the time on his phone, its 10:23 am. He turns it off too keep it from dying, since he doesn't his charger is at home.

He walks over towards the dining table; surprised to see it cleaned. Placed in the middle is a box of cereal, a bowl, a spoon and a cup, but then he notices the pile of the take out boxes shoved up in a corner just behind the table. Cheryl had once told him that, if she didn't cook for Brendan, he would live on nothing but junk; however she didn't mind cooking and cleaning though, because he worked hard to provide for her, it was the least she could do for him.

"He's a horrible cook though, he tried to fry bacon for me once, instead it ended up looking like a burnt stick," She had said, he had laughed at it, but now the reality of it seemed so grim.

_Do not enter. _

The note was as clear as it could be on Brendan's closed door, he turns towards the bathroom to get himself cleaned up, but is startled when he see's the shattered mirror, on it some dried blood; another reminder of Brendan's life without his sister. He can't help but feel sorry towards him, the man is lonely than he had thought, much like himself, however unlike him, he had two parents who loved him and provided for him, whereas Brendan has no one, and it just makes the bit of guilt left in him grow, regardless of knowing it wasn't his fault.

He finds another note, stuck on a tooth brush placed on the edge of the chipped ceramic sink.

_It's new_

He smiles slightly at the fact its written on a pink sticky note, like the ones Cheryl used to use when writing keeping notes in books. His smile falters at the realization.

He knows he shouldn't go in, but he can't help it, he hesitates for few seconds before turning the door knob slowly. The first thing he notices is that the furniture has been replaced with black ones, along with new sheets, however it's still messy, but not compared to rest of his flat. A picture frame on the corner of his dresser catches his eye; he slowly walks in, to get a better look. The quality is grainy; it's an enlarged picture of Brendan and Cheryl during her nineteenth birthday, the one in her phone, it's framed in a black metal. He picks it up and stares at it, he doesn't realize he's crying till a drop falls onto the glass.

…

Ste's too busy in the kitchen face away, to realize Brendan has walked in.

"What ye fucking doing?" Brendan asks, startling Ste, who almost tips the pot he was stirring as he turned swiftly. He's faced with Brendan's wild eyes.

"I...am..just cooking..."

"Who the fuck told ye to touch anything?!" He bursts, the vein on the side of his head protrudes out and storms towards the stove grabs the pot and slams it into the empty sink, causing Ste to jump back in fear.

Ste's lips quiver as he attempts to talk, "I…I was just trying to help…"

Brendan storms towards him, pushes him against the counter, "I don't need ye fucking help! Ye think cooking up a shitty meal and cleaning up my flat is gonna make everything all better? Ye think ye can replace Cheryl? Ye can't! NO ONE CAN! YE HEAR ME! NO ONE! Especially not shit like ye!" He roars. Ste's eyes swell with tears, "I…I wasn't…"

"Is that Cheryl's…?" Brendan abruptly asks in disbelief when he finally notices the pink apron on him.

"I am sorry…I didn't…"

"Take it off!"

Ste quickly reaches behind his back with his shaky hands, "It..won't come off.." he says as he attempts to untie it, somehow he tied into a tight knot; suddenly Brendan's turns him around and shoves him against the kitchen counter. He hold's Ste's arm with one hand and with the other pulls a drawer open and pulls out a knife. Ste trembles in fear as cuts open the waist band. He grips Ste's sweaty neck and gets into his face, so close Ste can smell the whisky in his breath, "Ye fucking touch anything, I'll kill ye, he hear me?" He threatens and then pulls the apron off him, throws the knife into the empty sink and storms off to his room with the apron in his hand.

His fists clench together in anger when he realizes he's cleaned his room as well; he closes his eyes and breaths in and out, to contain his anger. He bangs the back of his head against the wall couple of times; he knows if he goes out there, he will do something that he will regret.

The sound of the door slamming alerts him, he quickly places Cheryl's picture down on the vanity, he stays still for a few seconds before storming out of his room, and notices Ste is gone, so he runs out the front door without further thought.

It's pouring out.

"STEVEN!...Wait!" He calls out, but Ste begins to run faster down the dark road in the pouring rain. But Brendan's quick, he catches up to him, grabs his arm and turns him hastily, "Where ye going?" He asks breathlessly, ignoring the fact he's getting drenched, and barefoot.

"Let go of me…let go!" Ste cries out, his eyes are swollen and red, rain drops are dripping from his long lashes, mixing with his tears, as he struggles to get loose.

Brendan pulls him into his arms, "No…let..let go…let me go…" Ste cries, pulling and gripping at the material of Brendan's shirt that beginning to get wet.

"I…I am sorry…" Brendan says quietly as he holds onto his shivering frail body.

"Ssshhhhh…" Brendan says quietly to as his sobs increase, he can feel the thumping of his hear against his chest.

By the time his sobs die down, they both are drenched. Ste lifts up his head slightly but doesn't look at Brendan, however his hands are still clasped onto Brendan's wet shit. Brendan tilts his chin up with two fingers and looks into his teary blue eyes, can't help think how vulnerable the boy looks, like a little lost boy, "I am sorry…" he says, it sounds faint against the sound of the rain, he leans in closer, "I am sorry…" he repeats but even in a quieter tone, before he can do anything, his wet lips are on his, it's soft and wet, but he pulls back just enough to look into his glimmering eyes, before he claims them again with more force, pulls him in by the waist and grips his wet hair between his fingers. He can taste the saltiness of the tears and sweetness of the rain, but he wants more, so he pushes his tongue through his shaky lips, but eventually he feels them part slowly, but hesitantly.

When their tongues collide, it's like an explosion, unexpected and overpowering; it's wet, hot, heavy and so fucking sweet. But Brendan can tell Ste's inexperienced by the way his tongue is hesitant against his, so he uses his tongue to encourage and guide the boy's virgin tongue.

He moans as he feels Ste responding, but soon he pulls back when sound of sirens in distance alerts him. He forgot they are out side. Ste doesn't seem to notice, his gaze is just on Brendan, his hands still fisted on the material of his shirt; he's dazed.

"Come on." Brendan says and hurriedly grabs the boys wrist and leads him back into the flat. The second he slams the door shut, he pushes him up against the door and devours his mouth; dives his tongue as deep as he could to taste him more. His hands roam frantically over the boy's wet body, he can feel his bones through the wet material of his clothes. Ste gasps into his mouth, he pulls away and he notices his knee is pressed up against the boy's groin.

Brendan stares at him, his tongue hanging between his lips, it's driving him crazy how beautiful and sexy the boy is. Before he can stop himself, he brings his hand up to his belt buckle, but stops when Ste's eyes suddenly fill will fear and nervousness.

"…I just wanna make ye feel good, but I need to open ye up first?" Brendan says with a low voice. After few seconds of hesitation, Ste nods slightly.

"Ye sure?" He needs him to be, because it's just as new to him, as it is him.

"Yea.." Ste answers in a breathless tone. Brendan kisses him again, hard but slow, as he unbuckles him. His heart hammers in his chest as he pulls the fly of his pant down; the excitement is boiling his blood. Ste's body shutters when the tip of Brendan's fingers come in contact with his warm damp skin just above his blue Calvin Klein underwear.

"I am gonna have to take off ye underwear, so I can get a good grip, it that okay?" Brendan asks in a low seductive tone.

Ste nods.

With both thumbs he presses the waist band of his pant and underwear down. Brendan's taken by surprise at the size of Ste's cock and the hair surrounding his groin area, he never expected a boy like him with such asset.

He bites his lips, his gazed is fixated on Ste's as he reaches for his cock. It feels smooth and velvety and the thick vein on the side of Ste's hard cock pulses against his warm hand.

He gently smears the precum that's already come out around the top of his head, causing the boy to let out moans. It's alarming how touching another cock which is not his own, evokes such feeling and sensations.

Brendan pulls away his hand and spits into it, notices Ste's eyes on him, he looks confused.

"It will make it feel better," he says and rubs the spit over the head of Ste's cock, presses his thumb over the slit, making Ste whimper in pleasure. He smears it down his shaft and begins working down to the root and back up with his long fingers. Soon Ste's a withering mess of whimpery moans and heavy breathes as Brendan's warm hand works his cock like how he likes his to be worked. His hands are flat against the door to keep him self from falling.

"Hold onto me," Brendan says in heavy tone as Ste's knees buckle, he grips his waist with one arm while Ste grabs onto his shoulder as he furiously tosses him off; his body shutters when his orgasm ripples through his body and then comes hard all over his hand and Brendan's shirt.

"Fuck," Brendan groans and pulls away, startling Ste.

He quickly heads towards the kitchen, washes his hand in the sink, grabs a paper towel and wets it and wipes the come off his shirt. He then heads back towards Ste, who's slumped against the door, panting with his mouth parted, eyes glazed over, cheeks flushed, hair wet and cock suspended.

"Here, clean ye self up," Brendan says as he hands him a wet paper towel. Ste reaches for it and cleans himself off.

"Ye never done this before, have ye?" Brendan asks in thick voice, his gaze alarmingly intense. Ste looks up and flushes red in response, his gaze flickers down in embarrassment. Brendan saunters over to him and tilts his chin up and looks into his bright blue eyes.

"Is ok…there's a first for everything…" he says in a low voice. At that moment he realizes he made a mistake, bringing the boy over.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone! I am back!** I hope you all haven't ran away from me! I've been dead busy with internship, and other work. I am finally back on my regular schedule, however much busier, so my updates wont be frequent like they used. **Please, **Let me know if you all are still interested and reading my fics, if not I don't want to take up time and write and no one reads lol. Comments motivate me to write more. :) For those who have been with me since I've started and those who jumped in, and been commenting, T**hank you very much!** You guys give me motivation to keep writing when I feel like I should stop. Anyways here's the next chapter, and I apologize if this chapter is crappy, because I feel like its been ages since I have written and I have bad writers block, even though I miss writing, does that even makes sense? lol... MUCH LOVE! Enjoy! ^_^

**...**

**Chapter 8**

**...**

His cries of agony shattered the bright light like a heavy explosion of stars in a galaxy, which transitioned into shards of mirrors within the dark abyss. Each one played a scene from his life; some familiar and some blurry. They slashed through the flesh of his face, and neck, from it streamed hot thick blood. He began to tare his skin with his nails, in attempt to wipe the blood off that was now like acid burning through his nude flesh, but a dark faceless figure appeared from behind him, restrained him. He cried for it to let him go, but it was hopeless as his body began to shake violently , and vision faded into darkness.

A flicker of light filled that darkness, bringing him back to the endless torture. He attempted to fight back against whatever was keeping him restrained, but it was futile. "Noooo, let go…let go!" he cried out as his whole body kept shaking.

"Steven…Steven…wake up! It's just a nightmare…" Brendan called out to him, to bring him out of the torture of whatever was haunting him in his nightmare: reminiscent of his own.

His eyes had sprang open, blooded shocked and wide, chest heaving up and down, breathless, and drenched in sweat.

Brendan helped him up,"Hey, it's okay, you're okay, breath…breath…" he repeated in a soothing tone, as he rubbed the small of his back in circular motion to calm him.

"This should cool ye," Brendan said as he handed him a cold glass of water, after Ste had finally come back to reality. He watched as he jugged down the pure liquid, looked as if he'd been starved of it; it dripped down his lips, and neck, and the temptation to lick it off his hot skin was overbearing. Instead he licked his dry lips mimicking Ste as he licked the excess off with his pink tongue not realizing what it was doing to Brendan.

"Thank you," Ste said quietly as he handed it back to him, "sorry for waking you up again," he said, embarrassed.

"It's alright, I wasn't a sleep anyways," Brendan said as he placed the cup on the lamp table.

Ste looked at him; a look so innocent, so child like.

"Those look painful," Brendan said, observing the scratches on the boy's slender neck, the one he had sucked on and kissed only _hours_ ago, which some how felt like forever. That's what happens when you miss something, it feels like it _eternity._

Ste hadn't realized he scratched himself, remembering it only to be true in his nightmare.

"I am so stupid, how...how didn't I feel it?" he asked, ashamed of himself.

"It's not ye fault, it happens, you didn't know because ye were having a nightmare."

"I know..." Ste said faintly, "But it's the first time I've done this to myself, what if my parents see, they will think I've gone mental, I've already-"

"Hey, hey look at me," Brendan cut him off, as he lifted his chin, and looked into his blue eyes that glimmered like gems,"Look I know nothing about ye parents, yea, but what I do know they love ye; ye dad almost killed me for fucks sake -"

"I am sorry," Ste said lowering his gaze. Brendan shook his head, "Don't matter anymore, my point is, they will understand, it's just scratches, no big deal."

Ste nodded slightly, and wiped his eyes, and nose with Brendan's large T-shirt he had let him barrow. Brendan slightly smiled at how child like he looked, so cute, and frail, made him feel so old.

"Does it hurt?" Brendan asked as he slid his index finger on one of the red scratches, making Ste flinch in response.

"Stings a bit," Ste answered quietly, looking at Brendan through his long lashes.

"Might be the sweat causing it, let's get ye cleaned up, yea?"

He tilted Ste's head slightly to the side and began to press a small wet towel against them, wiping away the particles of blood and sweat. He watched his Adam apple bop every time he swallowed, he bit his lip, in attempt to suppress that _urge_ to suck it.

Ste could feel the heat of his breath against his neck as Brendan began wiping the blood, and sweat from his face and neck. His lips appeared golden pink against the yellow lamp light.

"Ye have them often?" he asked, trying to distract him self from his thoughts of wanting to kiss the boy.

"The nightmares?"

"Yea…" he said as he put down the towel on his lap, and slightly pulled back, _needed_ that space between them.

"They come and go…" he said quietly.

"Same one?"

He shook his head lightly, "Sometimes."

"They must be scary…at least this one," Brendan said light-heartedly. They fell in a few seconds of silence which felt like an eternity. Ste looked up slightly, his hands placed in his lap; Brendan's gaze was boring into his, into his, like they were a portal to some other _world._

Ste flinched slightly when Brendan lifted his hand and felt the side of his face with the back of his hand.

"You're hot," he said feeling against skin as he looked him in the eyes.

Ste felt he was burning; albeit not the same suffocating heat, but a different kind, one that made his heart beat. He swallowed, unable to move as his eyes from Brendan. Before Ste could comprehend what was happening, his lips were on his; it stole a breath of him. His lips were warm and soft against his, the memories of only hours ago came rushing back like a tsunami and flooded his every vein with intense heat. Brendan gripped the back of his head, and shifted over slightly, while his other hand lingered on the boy's damp waist. He tilted his head, to get a better angle, just as he was about to push his tongue into the boy's mouth, a loud buzz broke them apart.

Ste pushed back startled.

"Ye should pick it up," Brendan said, pointing to Ste's phone on the lamp table, which he was just starring at for a few seconds, lost in a daze.

He snapped out of the trance when he saw who was calling.

"It's my parents," he said as he picked it up.

"I'll leave ye to it…" Brendan said and escaped to his room. He lay in his bed; he could hear Ste's voice, but couldn't make out what he was saying. He hadn't been able to sleep earlier that night, not after what had happened. He couldn't believe he had kissed him again, touched him the way he did, and then kissed him again just now; it wasn't suppose to happen, not after he promised him self only hours ago that he wouldn't do it again, it wasn't right, it wasn't who he was, but it felt so right, felt so good. He cursed the boy for being so tempting. But that the thing, it was temptation, the Devils play. Makes you believe what's was truthfully sinful, good. As if he hadn't already played the Devil's games, he already knew he was damned, but this, this was dangerous, not that he ever cared about danger, but his one actually scared him.

Ste had knocked on his door after ending his phone call.

"Everything okay?" Brendan asked

Ste nodded, "My parents, they're coming home today," he revealed quietly.

Brendan nodded; he had thought something had happened with the look the boy had on his face.

"What time?"

Ste looked up at him, then back down, fiddling with his fingers, it was obviously a habit he wasn't going to stop.

"Around three in afternoon."

"Right," Brendan bit his lips and scratched his beard, "Well I gotta leave at ten today, but if ye wait till one, I can drop ye off."

"No." Ste said hastily, his tone louder than he's heard all night, "It's alright, I'll take the bus…" he said quietly.

"Suit ye self," Brendan responded coldly, as his hand gripped the door knob.

"You…not gonna tell anyone, are you?" Ste asked nervously suddenly.

Brendan raised a brow, "About what?"

Ste's cheeks flushed in response as he looked up at Brendan, then looked gazed down, "You know…" he said faintly.

"I wouldn't even, if ye put a gun to my head Steven," he responded thickly, "Why ye worried about it?"

Ste looked up, "I am not…it's just..I've..never...with a bloke before, I am not…you know..." his voice was barely audible but enough for Brendan to hear.

"Ye think I am?"

Ste shook his head quickly, "No…no, of course not."

"I am not." Brendan reaffirmed.

"I know." Ste said quietly.

"Good," he tilted his head, made sure Ste knew, "Just wanted to show ye…give ye some experience, ye know…that was all…"

Ste nodded slightly, his lashes flickering back and forth, and Brendan couldn't help but stare at the pout on the boys lips, he didn't know whether it was something he did on purpose, or that was the way his lips just formed, he licked his lips, and looked away; he hated the boy for being so fucking….tempting.

"Ye should get back to bed…its only three in morning," he said. Ste nodded, he hadn't realized it was still so early in the morning.

His mind was a whirl pool of thoughts as he laid down on the couch, in attempt to sleep. How was Brendan able to touch him, kiss him the way he did, and then leave him feeling so cold, only moments after he had felt like he was burning like a scorching blaze of fire moments ago? Like everything else in his life, nothing made sense.

…

Brendan had left by the time he'd waken up. On the lamp table was couple of pounds which he assumed Brendan left for his bus fare; even though he didn't have cash on him, only a credit card, he didn't take it, and opt for walking, he needed the fresh air. But he still had hours before his parents were due back, and it was only ten, and he knew Brendan wouldn't be back till later.

When he stood up his stomach rumbled, he hadn't had anything to eat the other night, he blamed himself of course. Brendan had offered to order pizza, he had half expected to Brendan lash out or throw him out after what had happened between them, but instead he had asked if he was hungry, but he had declined, insisted he wasn't hungry, though in truthfulness, he was, but he couldn't, not after everything that happened, the last thing he was thinking about was food. So instead Brendan had suggested he took a shower and head to bed.

Ste was embarrassed though, that he had handed himself to Brendan that way, let him touch him where no one else had, but it felt so surreal, never thought it was possible to feel so much pleasure.

…

He looked around the flat, it was messy but not as he had first seen in. He was grateful Brendan let him stay at his apartment; regardless of everything that happened, and he felt the least he could do for him was clean up, even though he was sure Brendan would be angry with him, but it didn't matter, it was the last time he was going to see Brendan anyways, and he was sure that is what Brendan wanted.

He first cleaned his room; tried his best not to linger on everything he touched, which smelled of Brendan. He gathered his dirty clothes that were in a pile, he was surprised when he saw the leather jacket on the ground; it was something he always wore. It was no longer in that perfect condition he remembered, the leather was deteriorating, tares and broken thread links. He sniffed it slightly; it still smelt of him though; musky, blended with bit of whisky.

He placed it on his bed, scared to wash it, in case it got ruined. He tossed his dirty laundry in the small washing machine, along with his work uniform; he didn't want to smell of sweat and dry rain when he greeted his parents, and he couldn't get into the house since he lost the keys.

While the laundry was in the wash, he cleaned up everything he thought needed to be cleaned. Once the clothes were dried, he never really folded his own clothes, so he just tried his best, remembering how his mom folded his. He set them neatly on the bed.

He looked back at apartment one last time, before he stepped out into the warm day, the sky dotted in light grey clouds.

Memories of last night replayed in his mind like a carousel, over and over as he began to walk. He softly touched his bottom lip, remembering the way Brendan kissed him, how his tongue lapped wet against his, a feeling so alien to him, it scared him. It turned on switches in his body, he never realized existed. He was so far in his thoughts; he hadn't noticed he crossed the road, till a car honked at him, cursed at him for crossing when the light was still green.

He waited by the porch for almost an hour, before his parents arrived. They embraced him as if they had been away for years. He didn't realize how much he really missed them till they had come back, it was an overwhelming feeling. Their love for him was unconditional, and that was something he knew that he would never receive from _anyone_ else.

They had questioned why he was outside, and dressed in his work uniform when it was supposedly his day off. He said he was going to cover for someone at work but then they showed up and on his way back he lost the key to the house, luckily they had believed him. He hated that he was lying to them but it was better than telling them the truth.

It had been a long while since he'd seen his parents so happy and alive; he blamed himself for it.

"How was it?" he asked with a slight smile as he helped his dad carry luggage into the house.

"It was amazing love, wish you were there with us," his mom said as she sat down on the couch, a content smile on her face.

"We'll take him next time," his dad added.

"It's alright, it was your anniversary," Ste said as he placed the luggage next to the steps.

"Bring that one here," his mom called out to him.

The luggage was filled with things for Ste; summer attire, expensive colon, two sunglasses, a watch, a chef's book, pair of leather sandals, and a pair of blue tract pants, something he's never worn.

"Your mom got them…told her you wouldn't like it," his dad said, as Ste looked at the track suit oddly.

"It's popular with the lads there…" she said in defense.

"No, it's nice, thank you."

Then his eyes caught something else, "What's this for?" he asked as he held up a miniature wooden boat. His mom began to giggle.

"What?" he asked totally oblivious.

"Come-on Tom, tell him," she nudged her husband; he gave her the evil stare; but eventually he gave in.

"Well, l…I had planned a surprise for your mom on one of those small boats you know…" Ste's mom was barely containing her laughter as he continued "well, right in the middle of the ride, while I was about to give her a gift, I needed to go to the loo, and well… when I tried to get off, I ended up tripping and fell into the water-"

Ste laughed lightly, "What happened to the gift?"

"Lost it."

"What was it?"

"A ring."

"Oh…" Ste said with a sympathetic look.

"But that's not all that happened," Ste mom said, and giggled.

"Your mum loves embarrassing me…. I leaked in the river ok…" he finally confessed. Ste suddenly burst in laughter. He couldn't imagine it, his dad, so sophisticated, a man with a big reputation, and here he had been in one of the most embarrassing situations.

It was beautiful though, seeing him laugh they would've recorded right then, if they could've. Never had they seen him like that before, genuinely laughing, it was heart warming; a moment they'd always remember.

Ste's laughter faltered when he noticed the tears in his mom's eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"Nothing, love, it, it's just so funny it made me tear up," she said as she whipped her eyes.

"How about you try the track suit on," she said, changing the subject.

"Good idea," his dad added, attempting to hide his emotions as well. He changed behind the wall, even though they are his parents, he still feels self-conscious.

"Oh my God," she had said when he revealed himself, "love, you look fantastic in them! Brings out the colors of your eyes, doesn't it Tom?" she asked as she walked over to inspect him further.

"I guess your mom knows after all… fits so well," his dad added in compliment. Ste blushed in response, even though he felt like a right idiot in them, although he hadn't even checked his own reflection before he showed them.

"Do you like them?" she asked him.

"They're very comfortable," he said with a sincere smile.

His mom pulled down his zipper, which he had up all the way. "There, perfect," she said as she adjusted the collar, but suddenly the expression on her face changed, "What's this?" she asked, pulling back the collar of his track suit slightly, revealing the red scratches on his neck.

"Oh, my God," she said with wide eyes.

"What is it?" his dad asked in a worried tone, as he stood up to further investigate. Ste pulled back and hastily covered his neck, "It's nothing," he said nervously. He had totally forgotten about the scratches.

"Did something happen while we were gone?" his dad asked. Ste shook his head, "No."

"I knew we shouldn't have gone…we were stupid leaving you alone," his mom began in panic.

"Mom, it's nothing…I…I just scratched my self…"

"What?" his parents asked in unison.

"It's not what you think, I…I had a nightmare…I hadn't realize I did it," he explained.

They both sighed in relief, but only because he hadn't done it on purpose, but it didn't mean they weren't worried.

"Do they hurt?" she asked touching one them gently.

"No…"

"When did it happen?" his dad asked, as he took observed them.

"Yesterday," he said quietly.

"I am sorry I wasn't here to stop you," his mom said a she held his face in her hand; a tear ran down her cheek. It broke Ste's heart, knowing he's always managed to hurt and worry his parents. He hated himself for it; it was suppose to be a day, where they came back with an empty load, without worry. He wanted to say he was fine, that there was someone else who did stop him, or else it would have been worse.

"Sorry for always worrying you," he said and held him mom's hands. She shook her head, "You don't ever apologize for things like this, okay, I am your mom, it's my job," she looked back at her husband, "our job to worry about you and care for you," she said as she held his hand.

"I..I know, but- "

"No, buts, come on, get changed, I gonna clip your nails, then go take a shower, alright?" She said with a tender smile. He nodded. She always did them for him; he had tried once himself, but resulted in him having a bloody finger, which terrified his mom, and forbid him to do it ever again, even though it really wasn't that big of a deal, and for her contentment, he agreed. Sometimes he still felt like a little boy in his body, and mind, she did everything for him, and he didn't really like it, but it made her happy; always said it was her job to do things for him as his mother, but he knew it was because she was trying to make up for all the lost times, those times he could have been their son when he wasn't, he wished he had, then he wouldn't have turned out this way.

"I was thinking about ordering pizza, what you guys say?" his dad suddenly asked trying to lighten atmosphere.

"We'd love that," his mom answered for them.

…

He starred at himself in the mirror, naked, as felt over the red scratches that had become dry and bumpy; he still didn't see the appeal, the attractiveness that could make someone want to touch him, especially someone like Brendan, let alone kiss him. He's nothing but bones and skin, even though he ate enough. His face far too feminine he believed; no facial hair; no wonder why the girls rarely fancied him, besides Rae, whom didn't count anymore since she eventually ended up dating the piece of shit that kept bullying him. He wasn't surprised, he knew she would eventually move on from him, he couldn't give her the things the other guy could, he was relieved though, at least it kept him and his friends away, at least for the time being.

After tiring himself without useless thoughts, he headed into the shower.

They sat on the couch watching; Harry met Sally, his mom's favorite; while they indulged in cheese pizza. It felt good; just sitting, eating as a family. But then a love scene had come on; and turned the situation very awkward, it wasn't that he hadn't ever seen sex scenes with them before, it was the fact he began to picture himself and Brendan like that; connected so intimately, kissing, touching, replaying in his mind how it had felt, when he kissed him, touched him. It wasn't till his dads phone rang that startled him that he realized he had his hand over his groin, which was hard as a rock. He quickly flushed and tugged at the edge of his shirt to cover himself, "I am gonna head up, am tired," Ste said, and bid him mom good night while his dad was on the phone.

His mind had gone back to Brendan as he slipped his hand in his blue boxers; and closed his eyes, allowing his fantasy to continue.

…

He sat on the leather seat of his motorcycle, looking over the vast ocean that had now become his sister's grave for almost two years. He made it a occasion, to come at least once every few months, if not more, it was the only thing that made him feel close to her, even though he sometimes thought it was ridiculous; she was gone, so were her ashes; deep beneath the ocean floor, among other lost souls, like himself, expect he was _living,_ but it was his sister's wish and he had to abide by it.

Besides, it was a place, where he could let his guard down; no voices, no lights, just the ocean, moon, stars, and living creatures that roamed the night sky. And the only place where his empty heart could mend and shatter at the same and his eyes shed tears that are kept hidden.

"I love ye, I hope ye know that," he said, before he drove off into the darkness of his life: his corrupt life, which failed him to protect her; and left him with nothing but guilt that, would forever be with him.

Amongst the corruption were his thoughts and feelings; it was against all his beliefs, and there he was, being consumed by them as the days passed by. It wasn't the fact that he thought of the boy that bothered him so much, but the thoughts of what he wanted to do to him, thoughts that were purely sinful, and adulterated. Thoughts that no man should think about another man.

His attempted to drive out the thoughts, and lust by engaging in a sexual position he never tried; anal sex, a whole different kind of pleasure, however he did it only a few times, because it had the reverse effect, it made him hungrier; made him want more, and it scared him; that if he met the boy again he wouldn't be able to control himself. That kissing him and touching him wouldn't be enough. He was grateful that he hadn't seen him in almost two months, and prayed it stayed that way.

…

It wasn't like he hadn't dealt with risky business for Danny, but this one was _huge_.

"Barcelona?" he said with raised brows, as he looked through the contents in a manila folder Danny handed to him, "Thought ye kept business only in town?"

"Business always expands, so to speak," he smirked, "I am entrusting you with this one," Danny spoke with confidence, always did when it came to Brendan.

"Why not the others?" Brendan asked curiously.

"They're covering _other things_."

"This is risky Danny, if I get caught I…"

"Don't worry, I've got it all planned," Danny cut him off with a satisfactory smirk.

The mirror reflected his former self from two years ago; hair spiked up with gel, just enough; a fine line between him looking like a 80's greased up porn star, and a classy groomed man. He stroked his trimmed mustache, and fixed the collar of his fitted grey Armani suit which contoured his toned body, and finest assets. Adjusted his black shirt, and left three buttons undone.

Tonight he was going to meet his business partner at Danny's birthday party; it was all part of the plan. He was in for quite a shock when Danny had informed him who his partner was; Carmel McQueen; a fucking McQueen he hadn't surprisingly met, the sister of Danny's Ex, Jaqui McQueen.

He knew Jaqui used to have a thing for him, especially during those few encounters at the late night poker games when she'd drape her self around Danny, and glance at him through the corners of her eyes, anytime Danny wasn't paying attention; and the way she flaunted her curvaceous body in her skin tight clothing, in attempts to seduce. He couldn't lie, he was tempted at times, but the pound of makeup she had plastered on her face, and the fact she was the boss's girlfriend and on top of it all, a _McQueen_; was a major turn off; though he gave her credit, she was perhaps the brightest out of the dysfunctional McQueen family. The worst of them; was _John Paul_ _McQueen,_ Jacqui's brother whom she had introduced to him at the party, and the kid had taken an immediate fancy to Brendan, it was so obvious, he was like a love sick puppy, ogling after him every second of the night, and every move he took, it irked him. If it hadn't been for Danny's and her sake, he would have pounded his face in, but instead he snogged off the faces of women who where all over him, and that had the boy running out the club with his tail between his legs; it was the last he'd seen of him.

Danny had informed Brendan about everything he needed to know about Carmel; a single widower, pretty face, kind-hearted dumb blonde, but the most unbelievable part: a police officer at the University he went too. It didn't make sense though, why use Carmel, when she's the sister of his Ex.

"I know what your thinking, don't worry about Jaqui, the only thing she knows about me, and you is that we work together, I never let her in on the real stuff. She just thinks I own couple of pubs, that's all. And her sister Carmel, fucking dumb as a door knob, you will know what I mean when you meet her," Danny had said when he noticed the complete look of bewilderment on Brendan's face.

And Danny had been right; he was positive the stereo type, _dumb blonde_, was invented after her.

"So what do you do?" she had asked looking at him with oogly blue eyes, which instead reminded him of another pair.

"I am an entrepreneur," he had said, as he took a sip of his drink.

"So do you like have many businesses?" She asked as her pink lips formed an excited smile. He was surprised she even knew what it meant.

"A few…"

"All here?"

"One, and one in Paris, Ireland, and hopefully soon, one in Spain."

"Oh wow, where in Spain?"

"Barcelona."

He watched as her eyes widened.

"Oh my God, really," she was overly excited, and it was a good thing, a baby step to success.

He smiled and nodded, "Yup."

"I've heard it's so beautiful there, I've always wanted to see it," she said with excitement.

"Maybe ye could come with me; I am going in two weeks."

She had blushed and bit her lips, "That would be lovely, but…I don't know. I…I haven't you know, been with anyone since Calvin, I am sorry."

"Hey, It's alright," he said smoothly, and lifted her chin to look her straight in the eyes, "It's no pressure…just thought since ye really wanted to go, I'd ask, we'd go only as mates though, if that's what ye want," he said, and brushed part of her hair behind her ear, making her blush," Thank you for being so understanding, it's the first time I've felt like this, you know, after Calvin."

"I understand what its like to lose someone," he meant it, "My sister, she passed away, two years ago." He felt guilty using his sister as a way to gain her trust and sympathy, but it worked, even though he hated himself for it. It was easier than he had expected, within a week he had her twisted around his _dirty_ fingers. Even though every time she talked, he felt his brain cells were dying, but it didn't matter anymore, because she had agreed to go with him to Barcelona.

…

Ste's eyes squinted against the bright white light, before he slowly opened them; his mom and dad were looking down at him.

"Hey love, how you feeling?" his mom asked holding his hand tightly, his dad right next to her.

"Where am I?"

"You're in the ER, but everything's okay, you're okay," she said as she brushed her hand through his hair.

She had collapsed when she got the phone call from the hospital.

"How did I get here?"

"Don't you remember what happened?" his dad asked.

The only thing he remembered was he had finished his late afternoon summer class, and heading towards the library in another building when he was pushed to the grown.

He was soon discharged, with a couple of pain medications and ointment for his cuts and bruises. His mom took couple days off from work to aid him and watch after him. It didn't take long for the bruises to begin to fade away, but inside Ste was still wounded, even though he was no longer going to that school, which was his parents decision, "We won't risk it anymore, too much has happened, it's the fifth time you've landed in the hospital, we can't, we wont do it anymore," they had said when he begged them to not drop him out, but he eventually gave it, he understood though, and respected their decision. They had found him other near by colleges which he could finish rest of his years at, but at the mean time he decided to just work at the restaurant, take the summer off. It was also the only place besides his home where he felt really safe.

He had found out that the guys who had attacked him were; Rae boyfriend and his friends. Rae had called him the day after he had gotten released, and apologized for what had happened. He knew that the guy still hated him, but what was he suppose to do, leave the school, even though he tried to stay away from Rae, she kept giving these looks, he only thought of as innocent, and kind, but apparently not to her boyfriend.

"It's okay, not your fault," he had said. There was no use in blaming her, because it wasn't, even if she wasn't there he was sure they guys would have kept bullying him.

Almost a month later she had called him back, crying her eyes out, saying she had broke up with her boyfriend because he was thrown in jail for theft.

"I am sorry," is all he could manage to say. She asked if she could come see him sometime during the week, she was apparently lonely, he wanted to say no, because he didn't want his parents finding out anything, but he felt bad, understood how it felt to feel lonely, he told her she could come over, but wanted her to keep quiet about everything that happened, and she had.

Ste introduced Rae as a friend from his school who was checking up on him. They immediately took a liking towards her; her blonde hair, baby face, sweet smile, and polite personality. She had only come for a few hours but instead ended up staying for dinner.

Rae kissed him on the cheek before she left.

"She's so lovely and pretty, she totally fancies you," his mom had said exuberantly as she picked up the dishes. "We're just mates' mom," Ste brushed off.

"So were me and your dad before we hooked up, they say the best relationships are those that start with solid friendship," she had winked at him; he shook his head in response.

…

The restaurant was pretty busy during the summer time and hot since he was stuck by the stove all the time. He was surprised when Rae one day showed up; his mom had given her the address. Her visits became pretty frequent ever since.

Ste was about to go on break, when one of waiters called out to him, "Costumer on table nine wants to see you Ste."

He tapped down his apron and checked his hat before he headed out to meet the person, he was surprised it wasn't Rae as he had expected.

"Hi, I am Ste, one of the Chefs here, I heard you wanted to see me?" he asked professionally, with his hands placed together.

"Ahhh yes," the man said looking him up and down, "so you're the cook of this delicious dish," he pointed to his empty plate. Ste smiled and nodded, "I hope you enjoyed it sir."

"Of course, so very talented Mr. Hay, I didn't expect you too be so young," the man pointed to his name tag when he noticed the look on Ste's face. He felt stupid.

"Thank you very much sir," Ste bowed lightly. The man smiled, and looked up at him fondly, and held out his hand, "The names Danny by the way," Ste took his hand and for the first time in his life, he felt a sense of pride.

…

He had stood by his BMW; the one Danny let him barrow as part of the plan. It was parked in the parking lot of DennisHall, as he waited for Carmel to finish her shift, and they would head off to the airport. She had asked him to pick her up because her car had broken down and was still at the auto shop, and she couldn't get off from work that day; there were only few officers that worked during the summer. He was half hour early; they had three hours before their flight. He tapped his feet on the ground, and smoothed his moustache as he chewed on mint gum, something he began doing as soon as he met Carmel, a sort of distraction perhaps from the tone of her voice, which bored him to death.

She had appeared, dressed still in her cop uniform; apologized for being bit late; the plan was to drop her off at her apartment, so she could get changed; grab her luggage and then head to the airport.

The sun had sunk in the horizon as they drove through the empty campus as she had talked none-stop about her busy day, and he wanted to do nothing but bang his head on the steering wheel; in which he eventually did, but not for that reason.

"Stop the car!" she had suddenly shouted, causing him to step on the brakes.

"What's wrong?" he had asked, totally confused; scared that she changed her mind. It wasn't till she ran out the car, that he noticed what had caught her attention. Someone was being jumped by three guys.

"Aye STOP! Police!" she screamed aiming her gun, "On the ground now!" She had shouted, first time Brendan had seen her in action; she was very professional. But something else had caught his attention.

"STEVEN?" he yelled out, when he noticed the person on the ground. He rushed towards him; the sight of him made the pit of his stomach heave; his eyes were busted, nose and lips bleeding badly, his eyes barely open. He tried to call out to him, but it was no use, the boy was losing consciousness.

Rage rose in him, he would've killed the assholes, there and then if Carmel hadn't already them gathered them, and held at gun point on the ground, as she called for back up.

He had hurried him into the car and rushed him to the ER; couldn't wait for an ambulance as Carmel had suggested. His heart pounded as he sped off, and kept staring back and fourth at him, tried to get him to wake up, "Steven, can ye hear me?" he repeated. A little whimper had escaped his mouth, before he fell back out of consciousness.

He rushed him through the ER, screaming for a doctor till a group of nurses had rushed to his aid. They placed him into a wheel chair, and hurried him into an empty ER room. He hadn't given his name when they asked him, told them he found him as he was driving by. The doctors didn't question further. He paced back and fourth in the hall, the last time he was in the ER was because of his sister, and at that moment the only person on his mind was the _boy_, not even realizing his hand was placed on his cross.

When he had heard someone screaming Ste's name, he knew it was his parents; he quickly had hid behind a wall, and watched as his mother fell to the floor, when the doctor explained to her what had happened.

"Why? WHY HIM? What has he done to deserve this?" she cried out, "hasn't he gone through enough in his life?... It's not fair; it's just not fair…" She sobbed, as her husband held her in his arms.

"Is, is he gonna be alright?" his dad had asked the doctor, once his wife had calmed down.

"Yes, there's no major problem, besides a few broken ribs, and bruises; he seems to have had a concussion, besides that he's going to be alright, we have him on an I.V."

Brendan had sighed in relief, ran his hand through his hair; that's all he needed to hear.

He left the hospital before they could see him.

Ste's mom's voice had echoed in his head, the pain in her voice, and those last words, _Hasn't he gone through enough in his life?_

It mad him wonder what she was referring too, was it the accident? Or was it something about the boy he never knew, was it what caused his nightmares? He always had a hunch that there was something strange about him, maybe it was the bullying that made him have that look in his eyes; that look of sadness, loneliness, a look ever so familiar to him. But Brendan had swished it off as something normal, many teenagers, got picked on by others; if you appeared weak they picked on you, _end of. _But it still didn't stop him from wondering.

The boy had everything a person could want, money, things, and above all parents who loved him, so what was so wrong? Perhaps he'd never know: it wasn't _his_ business after all.

He hadn't thought about his flight till he received a phone call from Carmel saying she was at the police station where the guys were held in custody, and she couldn't make it, and apologized after asking how the boy was.

He cursed vigorously as he slammed his hand on the steering wheel; he just messed up the biggest business deal, and now he had to make up a fucking Goddamn good and believable excuse. Lying was something he was always good at.

…

Danny's face looked like it was ass smacked when he saw him.

Brendan was about to speak, but Danny had spoken first.

"I already know what happened," he said in a thick voice, rage barely contained as he sauntered towards Brendan, hands in his pocket. Brendan wouldn't be surprised if he had a gun in there.

"Carmal called ye?" he asked with wide eyes.

"No…" he said roughly. He was like a ticking bomb, Danny was, the look in his eyes dangerous, and lethal.

"Then…how do ye know?" Brendan asked quietly.

"Because she rung her fucking sister!" Danny finally had exploded; Brendan was speechless, he had no idea how much Danny knew.

He cocked his head, slightly, "What..what she say?" he asked trying to keep his cool.

Danny laughed menacingly, "What she say?...What she fucking say?! What do you fucking think? She told me everything!" The vein in his forehead and neck had protruded in fury.

"Danny I can-"

"Fucking hero now?" Danny cut him off, "Huh? Who was he?... Who was this fucking piece of shit?! Who was he?"

"No one, just some kid."

"Don't fucking lie to me BRADY! She told me you recognized him!"

Brendan closed his eyes slightly for a moment, and let out a heavy breath,

"Yea, only recognized okay, he was…my," he swallowed, "my sisters mate, that's all."

"Sister mate?" Danny asked as he looked at him with eyes of daggers.

"You cost me my fucking business deal for your sister's mate?" he asked in total disbelief.

"No, I-"

"For some fucking piece of shit you barely knew, and yet you jeopardized a plan of mine I've been fucking working on for months! Do you have any fucking idea how much you've cost me! DO YOU?!" spit was flying out his mouth.

"Well I am fucking sorry Danny, what did you expect me to do, leave him to die?" Brendan finally combusted, he understood why Danny was pissed, he had reason to be, but he couldn't change what happened, could he.

He marched up to Brendan, his face red like a tomato.

"YES! I don't give a fuck about some low life! You've never fucking cared about anyone! You've beaten countless people to an inch of their lives, you've bloody killed God knows how many, and you've never fucking felt remorseful let alone fucking help some fucking scaly, who probably had it coming to him in the first place!" The man was going to have a heart attack.

"Carmel was the one that made me stop the car, what did ye expect me to do? Run away, and make her think I am some scum?" Brendan attempted to ask calmly.

Danny let out a heavy breath, hands on his hips, and bit his lips, "You could've let the fucking police handle it, but no, you decided to jump in and save the day. Whippy! Brendan Brady, your superman now!" Danny threw up his hand.

_Superman_, the word brought many haunting memories.

He shook his head, his hands still fisted together.

"The world hasn't ended for fucks sake, there's always other business deals," Brendan hissed.

"Others?" Danny chuckled venomously, "There won't be others like this! Not like this! This was my fucking last chance!" he shouted, he was definitely going to loose his voice.

"Well sorry Daniel, I can't fucking change what happened, if ye can't get that through your thick head, then I am out," he grabbed the door handle.

"NOO! You don't fucking leave me!" Danny shouted and grabbed hold on his sleeve.

"Let go Danny," Brendan growled.

"Gonna go become a saint now? Huh? Your guilty consciences messing with your mind; making up for what you couldn't do for your sister, you couldn't save her so-"

He was cut off with Brendan's fist in his face, that landed him hard on the floor with a bloody nose, he stormed out the office without looking back.

…

Carmel was in for a surprise when Brendan came knocking on her apartment door.

"Brendan?!" she had said with a wide ecstatic smile, stood embarrassingly in her hair curlers and pink cotton robe. Her smile had faltered when he stepped into the apartment without her permission: look of fury in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her arms wrapped around her waist.

"Ye couldn't keep ye mouth shut could ye?" he asked, baring his teeth.

Her eyes widened, brows knit together it total confusion.

"I..I don't know what you mean, I-"

"I told ye to not fucking tell anyone about me, about what happened yesterday, but ye couldn't keep ye big gob shut could ye?" he said in menacing tone, breath hot and heavy. She swallowed.

"I..I only told my sister…she-"

"SISTER! That's still fucking somebody!" he screamed in her face, she backed away, lips quivering and eyes beginning to water, it was a side of him she'd never seen, and it terrified her.

"I am..I am sorry, I just…she called me, and it just slipped out…I am sorry." she tried to explain frantically.

Brendan laughed menacingly, ran his hands through his hair, "Slipped out? Apparently there's nothing in that tiny brain of ye that understands the meaning of listen, do ye?" he hissed.

Tears began trailing down her face, as she starred at him in total disbelief and hurt. Before she could say anything he kicked the table that was near the door and stormed out the apartment, the outcome would have been totally different if she were a man.

…

It had been two weeks since Brendan stormed out of Danny's office; he stayed stuck in his apartment, living in filth, drinking. His mind wondered off to the boy, everything that had happened with him, how he had effected his life without even knowing. He throw the whisky bottle against the wall, it shattered to pieces. He laughed menacingly to himself at the situation he was in, at his _pathetic_ life.

The only two things that actually mattered were now gone, his sister and his _job._ Danny had gone too far, no one could judge his love and effort to protect his sister. Even though he knew he failed, no one else was allowed to remind him, because the guilt and pain in his heart, if he _had_ one, was already so huge; anymore, and it would explode.

But the bills were due soon, and his money he had saved was nearly gone. He had to much pride to ask Walker for some, even though he knew he'd give it, he had contacted him right after the incident. Told him he was on a mini vacation, even though he knew Walker knew it was a lie.

He stared at the wall, with glossy eyes, sat in his leather arm chair, bottle in hand, and cocked his head; "There's a crack in the wall," he said to himself. He stared at the walls for days, wondering if the crack would get bigger.

His beard was beginning to form again, and one night as he was about to drink himself to sleep, his phone rung. He chuckled bitterly when he saw it was Danny. To be honest, he wasn't surprised, he knew it would be a matter of time before he called him, he just hadn't thought it would be so soon. But he didn't answer; he wanted Danny to regret what he said.

He called everyday for a whole week, before Brendan decided it was time.

"Was wondering when you'd pick up?" Danny asked. Brendan had expected him to sound angry and annoyed, but he seemed bit thrilled.

"What ye want?" he asked thickly, still holding up on his end.

"Why didn't you tell me the lad you saved was the son of a multi-millionaire?"

He automatically tensed up, sat up from the couch; and swallowed, "What?"

"Don't tell me you didn't know?"

"Why would I?" he ask, trying to keep in the anger and surprise; he knew Ste was rich, but not that _rich._

"Well, now you know."

"And that matters to me?" Brendan asked thickly.

"Yea, it does, because if I had known earlier, I wouldn't have…have been so mad."

Brendan could sense the smirk on his mouth.

"How did ye find out?"

"I've got ways for everything Brendan," he said lowly.

"What ye planning Danny?" Brendan asked. He knew whenever Danny was up to something.

Danny laughed in response.

"Always a headed of the game…"

Brendan cleared his thought, "And what's this game Daniel?" he asked lowly.

"It's a real clever one, REAL CLEVER," he said, his tone ominous.

…

Work was beginning to become mundane for Ste, since he no longer was in school at least, until next fall. He looked up the colleges his parents had suggest, one took to his interest, but it still made him feel uneasy, he was going to transfer to a new college, which he knew no one, not that it really mattered, as if he knew many in his previous one, but he had gotten used to it, liked most of his professors, and he had met Cheryl, his first friend ever. He missed her, and the guilt never really left him, so maybe it was a good thing, to leave everything behind and start new.

Rae had become a friend, sort of, it was obvious she still fancied him though, always called him, they hung out, mainly at his house; he wasn't used to it, wasn't used to someone wanting to be close to him, but he couldn't lie, it felt good, being wanted, being important to some extend. He began to think perhaps his mom was right, that maybe from their friendship could stem something more. One day she had come over, and Ste's parents were not home. She wanted him to help her with some of her summer class work. Then she had kissed him, startling him. He kissed her back, but there was something different, it wasn't the same, he didn't feel the same as he did when Brendan kissed her. He had pulled back, apologizing. Rae was fine with it, she told him he perhaps needed more time. Maybe he did, but all he knew, he wasn't ready for it just yet.

It was one of those nights where he needed to close up the restaurant, because his dad was busy supervising the other two. He took off his apron and put it in his locker; he was stuck in the restaurant all day, covering for a sick co-worker. Threw out the trash and head out, the night was warm, and breezy, felt great against his face; he called his mom to let her know he was on his way home, both his parents were still at work, so he was going to take the bus, because he still couldn't,_ wouldn't_ drive. He looked at his phone to check when the bus would arrive, when suddenly a car had pulled up to the curb; black, with tinted windows. His body began to tremble with fear, there was no one else outside besides him that he knew of, and even though he tried to run, his legs were not letting him.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Felt so weird writing again after so long. But I hope you guys enjoyed? Much love! <strong>_


	9. Chapter 9

Hey lovelies! **Thank you so very much for your comments, really appreciate it,** and as I said before, I never abandon a fic, so even if it takes me a bit to update, I will make sure I always complete them. This chapter is long, and contains, lot of dialogue so I hope it doesn't bore you guys. **MUCH LOVE!** Please enjoy! ^_^

**...**

**Chapter 9**

**...**

It was his misfortune that the bus had passed by, the minute the tinted window rolled down, revealing the person behind the wheels. He'd been surprised but at the same time relieved when he saw it was _Danny; h_e had offered him a ride. His fear of cars hadn't diminished, though it wasn't as _extreme_ as before, he still couldn't drive; the nightmares and flashbacks of the accident kept him on the edge.

But he was left with no choice that night; he couldn't call his parents. because they were working late that night, nor could he call a cab; riding with someone he was familiar with was better than some stranger in a yellow car.

"You alright?" Danny asked noticing his apprehension as he got into the car. He shook his head, "Just bit tired," he responded quietly, as he placed his sweaty palms on his knees to keep them from shaking. His heart was pacing, sweat pricking underneath his clothes, even though inside was fully conditioned.

"So, when did you become a chef, considering your age, it's pretty impressive," Danny asked as he drove off into the warm night.

"I am not really a professional chef yet, but I am trying to go to school for it," Ste explained.

He was never good at receiving compliments or engaging in conversations. However something about the older man made him feel slightly at _ease,_ perhaps it was his kind demeanor, and the fact he was interested in him, or at least his cooking he concluded. He admired the man; he was wise, confident, and unlike most he's met, he didn't _judge_ him. Danny had come to the restaurant two more times after their first encounter, this being their fourth.

"Sorry, I don't drink," Ste revealed shamefully on their second encounter when Danny asked to join him for a drink at the bar.

Danny had laughed and padded him on the back, "You know what lad, I am proud of you, because bloody hell if I could stop drinking I would, the stuff's no good for you, but an old man like me, what can I say- I am not as strong as you," he said with a grin and held up his drink and took a gulp.

"Your parents must be real proud of you," Danny complimented, as Ste explained his his _little_ journey in becoming a young amateur Chef; _excluding_ the darker details. He didn't want to taint this image that the man seemed to have of him.

"It's all thanks to them, they do so much for me," he responded, though his parents always say it to him, he's never felt _worthy_ of it.

"You the only child? "

"Yea."

"That's nice…"

"I wouldn't mind having a brother or sister," Ste revealed. Someone he could perhaps talk to without judging him, someone who could understand him, be there for him, besides his parents, which just wasn't the same.

"I used to when I was younger, but not anymore."

"Why?" he asked, curiously.

"Less of a hassle, I only have me to worry about."

Ste just starred at him for a couple seconds, not knowing how to respond.

"You must think I am selfish for thinking that?" Danny asked as he looked over his shoulder quickly and made a turn onto another street.

Ste shook his head, "No, I don't think that...I know what you mean," he said in a low tone; his mind drifted off to Cheryl and how her _brother,_ constantly worried about her, and tried to protect her, but at the end she had left him, and even till now, he's felt responsible- adding to the _weight_ that keeps pushing him down.

"You live with your parents?"

Ste nodded.

"You like living with them?" he asked with raised brows.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Well most lads now these days move out the moment they turn eighteen or get kicked out," Danny said with bit of amusement.

"You got kicked out?"

Danny laughed lightly, "Wont lie, I was bad lad back then, but no I didn't, my parents died when I was about eleven, so I was kind of on my own."

Ste looked at him apologetically, "I am sorry."

"It's alright...but your lucky, you've got your parents, bet your they'd do anything to keep you safe."

Ste nodded slightly, in all truthfulness he knew they would; the thought of having to ever leave his parents always terrified him. Perhaps it was _really_ just him, perhaps _Pauline _and_ Terry_ were right; he was just _useless_, not _normal; _ too clingy and needy, perhaps that was why they treated him the way they did.

"Thank you for the lift," Ste said as he got out of the car.

"Anytime, think of it as a thank you for all the delicious meals you've cooked," Danny said with a smile. Ste blushed in response, "Next time you come, it's on me."

"I'll wait till you get in," Danny said.

He looked back before he turned the door knob; he could see Danny's car. Danny waved at him, before he head inside.

As he had expected his parents were not home. He turned on the lights, and sighed heavily. Placed the keys on the side table, then headed towards the kitchen, but he stopped when he saw a blue envelope on the dinning table with a white ribbon tied around it.

He had forgotten it was his _birthday_, or at least he wanted to.

His parents stopped throwing him parties when they realized his dislike for them. The first time they had thrown him a party on his tenth birthday, he had hid in his room, refusing to come out; that's what he did when he lived with _Pauline_ and _Terry. _They'd always remind him when his birthday was close, which terrified him, because he knew what to expect. Instead of receiving gifts, he'd receive physical and mental abuse, it's was redundant, but on his _birthdays_ it was the worst of all; it was the days he wished he was never born. His existence had no purpose, it was bleak and meaningless; that's what they made him _believe._

His parents tried to get him to warm up to birthday parties, by taking him to their friends children's birthday parties, but he'd stay quiet. Anytime a kid tried to approach him or talk to him, he'd hide behind his mom, holding on the material of her dress with his tiny hands, and stare as they laughed, played, ate cake; that he would take and eat all by himself in some corner away from everyone else, like he'd be in trouble if he were caught.

One thing Pauline and Terry did do on his birthday was buy a cake, but only to taunt him; they'd make him watch as they indulged in the fluffy sweetness, not allowing him to have even a taste.

It was his ninth birthday when his parents bought him his first cake, he'd been hesitant at first, just staring at it; till they encourage him to have a taste. It was vanilla, with chocolate frosting, which had become his _favorite._ They had watched, with tears streaming his mom's face as he ate the cake like it was heaven, his tiny mouth and fingers covered in the frosting. He'd look up at them with these bright blue eyes, it was the first time they had seen him _smile. _It was so_ beautiful, a_nd everyday since then they'd pray for that _smile_ to grow. But as he grew older it kept fading, and not even cake could bring it back. All they could do was remind him how much they loved him; yet it never seemed to fill that emptiness inside him. Their words could only do so much.

_Wish you had died on your birthday-your a waste of space-why would anyone celebrate piece of shit like you-you don't deserve anything-your nothing special-_ those words remained ingrained in his mind, like the letters on the envelope.

_Happy Birthday Ste_

_…_

He knew it was inevitable, he'd always return to that world, the only one he belonged too; a _world_ of darkness and impure indulgence. Though he hadn't expected it to be so soon. Danny had left him no choice.

"I'll let you know once you're ready to come back," Danny said to him when he asked about his '_the game' _he was soon going to play.

He hadn't returned right away though, he needed to figure out something first.

He was sat in the leather seat of a rental car, with tinted windows, parked behind another car on the curb to avoid suspicion, waiting for the boy to come out.

The sight of him had made his stomach flutter; he was dressed in his usual work attire, black shirt, and trousers; his hair laid soft on his forehead, pale moon light against his golden skin made it look like silk; it took his breath away; how beautiful he is. He watched as the boy began to walk. gripped the steering wheel, ready to make a move, but then a car had come from his left towards him. His heart had pounded in panic, when he recognized the car, it was _Danny's_.

It took him all his strength to not storm out the car. But he waited, hoping the boy would eventually leave, but the exact opposite happened. His blood had boiled with anger at how naïve and gullible the boy actually was. He cursed as he banged his hand on the steering wheel in frustration; no wonder why the he was always in trouble; he was clueless to the reality of life, and the dangers that lurked within it.

He followed them quietly, watching like a hawk, in case Danny made a wrong move. He let out a heavy sigh of relief, when the boy got out the car. He was parked in a dark area covered with tall tree. He wasn't stupid, he knew this was part of _the game;_ and this was just one of the tricks.

"Brendan," he drawled, eyes widened as Brendan stepped into the office. "Dismissed your superman suit, I see," he joked, leaning back against his leather chair, with a grin plastered on his face.

"Please, spare me the mockery," Brendan drawled, as he took seat on a wooden chair, sprawling out his legs leisurely, "I see, ye've done some shopping?" he said, noticing the new furniture. Danny laughed in response as he twirled in his seat, "If you'd come earlier, I would've taken you with me."

"Maybe next time," he sniffed, and cracked his neck, and bit his lips, "So-" he drawled, tapping his fingers on his jeans, trying to hid his impatience. Danny reached into the drawer of his desk, and tossed him a white envelope.

"Giving me a bonus," Brendan quipped, with a raised brow as he opened the envelope. His expression turned stern as he looked over the content.

"I didn't come back to get my hands bloody, especially without reason," he said thickly as he tossed it back onto the desk.

"I always have a reason Brady," he responded firmly, and tossed it back to him. Brendan chuckled in disbelief, and leaned his head back against the chair, looking up at the ceiling as he spoke, "I am delighted that ye think I am some kind of human terminator, but surely you've got other's who are just as capable," he popped his head forward, "_Walker_ for example."

"I'd ask him if he only wasn't lying in the hospital right now," Danny said mockingly. Brendan automatically stood up, heart racing. "What? How? What fuck happened?" He asked his brows knitted in anger.

"He was hit by a car." Danny revealed sternly.

"What? When?!"

"Last Tuesday."

"Why didn't ye fucking tell me?" Brendan raged.

"If you had answered your phone then maybe I would've."

Brendan cursed himself, he had thrown his phone against the wall then, when Danny had contacted him regarding the information he had found about the boy. Walker had contacted him couple days prior to it, asking him when he'd return from his, _trip,_ as he and Danny had put it, both knowing he'd eventually return.

Brendan wiped his hand over his face, and swallowed, his throat felt dry.

"Was...was it an accident?"

"What do ye think?" Danny asked sardonically.

"Just fucking tell me Danny!"

"Answers right in front of you," Danny gaze lowered towards the white envelope in front of him.

He almost had fallen backwards when he saw the state of _Walker._ Though he and Walker had their up and downs, they'd known each other for years, and they'd been there for each other, it was because of Walker he was able to make a _living,_ and provide for his sister all those years to keep her happy even if it was only for a short time. He was the only person he could really consider his mate, if he had any; whatever it's worth he trusts _him,_ even after what he had done to his brother, Walker had forgiven him, and always covered his back whenever he'd screwed up. He couldn't help but feel guilty as he sat down in the chair looking at him. If he hadn't left he wouldn't have been in there fighting for his life. The doctors told him there could be a chance he'd be in coma for months, if not years. The injury to his brain was significant.

It had been easier than he'd expected to find the man _responsible._ Everything was in the white envelope; address, picture, affiliates.

He dressed in black head to toe, face covered in a mask; he had hid in the back of his car, waiting for him.

"Boo," he had said eerily, his cold pale blue eyes only thing visible through the rear view mirror, and before the man could make a move, he slashed his throat with a carbon Ice knife. He watched as the light from the mans eye's died before he disappeared into the night.

He chuckled bitterly at the irony of it all, as he held a stack of cash in his hand, his _reward _for taking another life, yet he was sat there thinking about how to save _another._

…

_A week in London_; that was his parents gift to him for his twentieth birthday, and though he hadn't wanted to go; he couldn't bare seeing the hurt in their faces if he turned it down. It would be throwing all their effort and hard work in their faces; and he couldn't be that heartless; especially after everything he's put them through.

He hadn't been surprised when he found out that Rae would be going with him, apparently she had been part of the _surprise trip_ plan. He knew what his parents where trying to do. He really liked Rae, and he wished he could be with her, but every time she tried to get closer, he'd push back, something just didn't feel right no matter how much he tried; he convinced himself it was because he wasn't ready for that _kind_ of relationship, and maybe never would. Albeit, grateful that Rae didn't run out on him; she was his only real mate.

Rae was oblivious to his state of mind as they roamed the busy streets of London; busy galloping around like a tourist, taking pictures, shopping, chattering and smiling like the world was created for her, and he envied her for that; wished he could be in the world she lived in. A world that was colorful like a child's coloring book, not a spot of _grey._

"Wow STE, come're, isn't it amazing, it's scary, but so beautiful," she said in awe, stood high on the London Bridge, looking over the rail, at the water beneath, mirroring the blue sky above them. He stepped up onto the edge; starring blankly at the ripples of the river which appeared grey to him; his head filled with dark thoughts; what would it feel like if he dropped down from the height they stood at; _would it end everything? Would he feel nothing anymore? Would it be complete darkness, forever nothingness? Would it take him out of this mundane existence?_

"Ste!" She had called out to him, he turned hastily, the camera in her hand captured him in that _moment._

It was only when they went to restaurants where he felt a bit at ease, because it was something familiar. He'd take notes on certain dishes he liked. He took a picture of Rae and himself smiling with the food in front of them, and sent it to his his parents; knowing it would make them _happy. _

He never liked amusement parks; but Rae had begged him till he eventually gave in; he just watched as she played in the _fantasy land_ like a child.

His parents had once taken him to one when he was twelve, but he refused to ride the rides or play; he just stared at everyone else; their laughter appeared mocking and devious, every smile, a _facade_ like his own.

On the last day, they had visited the London History Museum; and unlike him Rae was fascinated with everything. He had roamed around aimlessly as history revealed it self through ancient artifacts, scriptures and sculptures. One had captured his attention; a large Greek Sculpture carved out of white marble, it stood tall on a large plat form, engraved on a golden plate, _The God of War._ It towered over him, and if you looked up at it, it seemed it was staring at you. It was fierce and intimidating; face covered in beard, eyes piercing, expression threatening. One arm was missing, while the other held out a shield, as if it was ready to fight and conquer. The craftsmanship was beautiful; every muscle and scar captured with exquisite detail. He'd only ever seen sculptures like it in the history books and online, but it was nothing compared to seeing it in person. Something was so striking and _familiar_ about it.

"Ste come-on, you've been starring at that for almost ten minutes," Rae had called out to him; breaking his trance. He brought out his camera, and took a shot of it before he joined her.

His mom had picked them up at the train station when they got back.

"I hope you guys took a lot of pictures?" his mom said brightly.

"I took pics of everything, my camera is full," Rae said exuberantly as she looked through her photos and showed Ste's mom her favorite pictures, every time she came to a red light.

"Oh, look at this one, I took of Ste!" she said all exited. "Oh, that's...that's nice, you captured him very well," she said, though the tone of her voice suggested otherwise. Then Rae had shown him; he was taken a back. It was the picture she snapped of him on the London Bridge; he already knew what he felt, but the image of himself he was staring at was _daunting_; contrasting the world behind him.

"How about you love?," his mom asked him, breaking his gaze from his own picture.

"Umm...I, I didn't really take much, since Rae was taking a lot, would've been like doubles if I did," he explained light heartily, he caught his moms gaze in the rear view mirror, it was filled with _concern_, but she had quickly looked away and asked about other pictures that Rae had taken.

After they had dropped Rae off his mom asked if he wanted to go get something to drink, but he was tired and wanted to go home. When they reached, his dad was already back from work. He took him in a tight embrace.

"Look at my boy, just getting handsomer everyday, aint that right honey?" he said as he ruffled Ste's hair.

He bought his dad a London Bridge key chain, and his mom a London Eye necklace as souvenirs.

"Did you have fun?" his dad asked with a wide smile.

"Yea, I did, it was proper nice...I really liked the food, I even took notes, I've got some new recipes I want to show you later," he said trying his best to sound excited. He fabricated majority of how the trip went, well more like how he really felt, though he hated lying, telling them the truth would be far worse.

He placed his suit case in his room, and laid down on his bed, he missed it.

His eyes widened when he saw twenty one missed calls from an unknown number on his phone that he left home, because his mom had gotten him one just for traveling, so he'd have no interruptions.

He starred at it, contemplated whether he should call it back or not, eventually his curiosity got to him so he pressed the call button, but then immediately hung up after it began to ring. He sat up from his bed, and began to take off his clothes, but then his phone began to ring; the same unknown number. He just stared at it, thinking it would stop, but it kept ringing. He hesitantly reached for it, and pressed answer.

"Hello?" he said in a quiet, nervous tone.

"Was wondering when ye'd pick up?"

His heart began to beat, he could recognize his thick Irish accent miles away.

He swallowed, "How...how did you get my number?" he asked nervously,

"Don't worry about it, why haven't ye answered ye phone?"

"I…I didn't have it with me."

"For a whole week?"

"I…I was away, didn't take it with me," he said quietly.

"Isn't it suppose to be the other way around?"

"I…I had another phone," he kept looking towards the door, expecting him mom to barge in any minute.

Ste picks at his nails in nervousness, "What, what did you call me for?"

"I...need to see ye," he answered in a low voice.

He swallowed hard, "What for?"

"I just need to, yea? It's important."

Ste stayed silent for a couple seconds not knowing how to respond.

"Steven?" he said in a low voice, it sent shivers down his body.

"Yea?" his tone barely audible.

"So…ye coming?"

"Now?" he asked in surprised.

"No of course not, I know ye not allowed at this time of night."

"No, I am, I...I just don't like to go out late," he said quietly.

"Ye scared?"

"No," it sounded hesitant.

"Well am not asking ye now, ye free anytime tomorrow?"

"I work till six."

"Can ye come to my flat?"

Ste's heart began to thump faster and his body began to break into a sweat.

"I…I don... I don't know-" he stuttered.

"I ain't gonna hurt ye Steven, just need to talk to ye."

"You are talking to me."

He chuckled, "Jesus, ye really – how about I pick ye up, six thirty?"

…

He taps his fingers on the steering wheel impatiently; the boy is half hour late. He begins to think what if he changed his mind, and doesn't show up, but then suddenly his phone rings.

"Where the hell are ye?" he asks thickly, not able to control his anger.

"I am…I am on Taris street, I don't see you?"

Brendan looks around his sides; then he spots him in the rear view mirror.

"I see ye, I am parked in front of a green SUV, Navy car."

"Your driving?" Ste asks.

"Yea, why? Ye prefer riding on my motorcycle?" Brendan drawls smoothly; see's the boy close, so he unlocks the door.

The door parts open slowly, he puts his phone down.

"Fuck me" he says breathlessly when Ste bends his head down.

"What?"

"Nothing, just get in," Brendan curses himself in his mind; he didn't realize he spoke out loud.

Brendan can sense his nervousness as he gets in, stealing glances under his long lashes covered with his glasses.

"Belt up," he says and puts the key in the ignition, purring the car to life, making Ste jolt slightly.

He watches his neck strain as he attempts to tug the seat belt. His skin appears more golden and glowing, his body still so thin and lean, he licks his lips involuntarily, and leans forward, "Here, let me."

His scent fills his nostrils; mix of food, colon and sweat, it's intoxicating. His eyes catches his lips, slightly parted, pink and plump, and wet from him biting them in nervousness as he presses his head into the leather seat to allow him to reach the seat belt.

Brendan tries to concentrate on getting the bloody belt to budge, but the he's distracting him; he averts his gaze, "Fucking hell," he curses as he tugs it harder, eventually he gets it, and pulls it over Ste's shoulder. His gaze catches his in that moment, but the boy looks away coyly.

"So where did ye go?" Brendan abruptly asks as he puts on his aviator glass, his hand on the shift gear, and pulls it into drive. He's thankful for the sun, or else he'd have no excuse to wear his shades, and then the boy would see how he's starring at him like he wants to eat him.

"What?" Ste asks finally looking up at him.

"Last night, ye said ye left to somewhere?"

Ste looks away, his gaze faltering, "Yea," he says quietly.

"Where'd ye go?"

"London."

"London?" Brendan raises his brows in surprise, "What for?"

"For...for my birthday," he says hesitantly, as he fiddles with the tip of his fingers, even till now.

"Oh...that right," Brendan drawls, "Must've been nice...so how old are ye now?"

"Twenty," he says quietly, still not looking at Brendan.

"Ye gonna turn into a man pretty soon Steven," he drawls thickly, he had forgotten how young the boy really was, "so what ye do there?"

"Nothing," he says quietly.

Brendan turns his head slightly, raises his brows in response, "Ye went to _London_ to do nothing?"

Ste looks up at him timidly, then back at his fingers, "Just visited some places."

"Ye went alone?"

"No Rae came with me too."

"Rae?" he asks with a thick tone, he swallows and licks his lips, "He a classmate?"

"Rae's a she," he corrects faintly.

"Oh, I see...so, ye and this Rae-" his hands tighten on the steering wheel, "ye, ye know, _mates?_" he can't help the bitterness in his tone as he says it.

Ste slightly looks up at him nods lightly.

"That's, that's nice, so how long ye-" suddenly his phone rings, cutting him off, he reaches for it but it slips to the floor, towards Ste's side.

"Fuck, can ye get that for me," he asks as he keeps his eyes on the road.

The phone keeps ringing.

"Steven, I said can ye get that for me," he repeats thickly as it keeps ringing.

"Ay, what ye fucking deaf?" Brendan snaps. But Ste still doesn't answer nor look at him. Brendan looks over his shoulder quickly, and comes to a sudden halt on the side of the street, the phone stops ringing by then.

"What the fuck is wrong with ye?" he asks ticked off as he takes off his glasses. He notices sweat dripping from the boys face, his knuckles white from gripping on the material of his trousers.

He unbuckles him self and leans forward, "Ay, Steven?" he calls out, touching the side of his cheek, it feels hot, and stiff, "Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, turning his head. He's taken back by the look in his eyes; blood shocked, un-moving, tears threatening to pool out.

"Steven what's wrong?" he asks, panic rising. He tries shaking him, but he doesn't respond. It's like he's in another world. He grabs his face with both his hands, and looks into his eyes, "Steven? Steven? C'mon boy, say something." But it's futile, without thinking he leans in and presses his lips against his, the instant contact sends a shiver down his body.

He pushes his tongue in-between his lips, forcing his way through, causing him to grunt without warning when his tongue finds his. He twirls and laps his wet, warm, and sweet tongue, but he still unresponsive. He pulls back, "Steven?!" he calls out louder to him, but it just feels like he's trembling now, so he takes his head and thrusts his tongue deeper inside of him, grunting and moaning as he tries to kiss with more fierce, suddenly he feels his tongue moving slightly against his. He leans in more, almost on him, and tilts his head and kisses him deeper; he can't help but moan as the boys tongue comes alive with his, without realizing his had trails up the boys shirt, suddenly he's pushed back, his head hits the car roof. Ste's eyes are wide open, mouth bruised from the kiss, his chest heaving up and down; he looks like a startled animal.

"Ay...I am…I am sorry, I was trying to-" Brendan's cut off, when the boy suddenly opens the door.

"Ay, what ye doing?" Brendan tries to grasp his arm, but misses.

He quickly jumps out the driver's seat and runs after hi, grips his arm and spins him.

"Steven, what's the matter with ye?" he asks breathlessly. Tears are rolling down the boy's eyes eyes, his lips quivering, body still somewhat rigid.

"Hey, hey what's wrong?" Brendan says soothingly, rubbing away Ste's tears with his thumbs. He doesn't speak. Brendan pulls him to his chest and holds onto him tightly, he can feel his heart beat, but it's shallow. He so tiny and small in his arms; feels his spine as he rubs his back to sooth him.

"Hey, hey it's alright, everything's okay," he says hotly against his ear and kisses it lightly without realizing. Suddenly a honk causes him to hastily pull away from the him. His heart beats erratically as he looks around in panic, he forgot he was still in a residential area, in middle of the day. He tries to locate who honked the horn, but suddenly a loud thud makes him turn.

"STEVEN?!" he shouts. He's collapsed on the ground, his glasses fallen off.

"Fuck fuck!" he curses as he tries to wake him up, but to no avail. He quickly lifts him up, grabs his glasses, and carries him to the car, and sets him carefully into the passenger seat, and gets in, and swiftly turns the car around.

He pushes the door open with his foot, and carries him to the couch, and carefully lays him down. He slaps his cheeks lightly as he calls his name in attempt to wake him up, but he doesn't. So he rushes towards the bathroom, wets a towel and grabs a glass of cold water; lifts his head, and forces some water down his mouth, causing him to choke, but it does the trick. He holds his head up, and pats his back helping him to swallow.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay," he says till Ste stops choking, then he leans his head back down. Ste's eyes are wide open and just staring at him.

"Steven, can ye hear me?" Brendan asks, looking into his eyes, his hand on the side of his cheek, it feels like it on fire. His runs his fingers through his damp hair; see's blood on fingers. He brushes his hair away from his forehead and notices a cut on the side of his temple, impact from when he fell. He uses the wet towel to wipe it off, and presses the clean side over his face, wiping the sweat off.

"Where am I?" he asks suddenly, his but faintly. Brendan leans his head lower to his, "Ye collapsed so I had to bring ye here."

He looks confused

"Ye don't remember?"

Ste shakes his head, "I...I was in the car, I asked Cheryl-" Brendan's hand freezes, as he continues, "..I asked her for the time- she dropped it though, and then, then… and then there was a bright light, and, an-" his voice becomes horsey and choked and begins trembling again. Brendan quickly pulls him to his chest, wraps his arms around him tightly, "It's okay, it's over," he repeats quietly as the boy hyperventilates and sobs into his chest soaking the material of his shirt. His fingers pressing tightly into Brendan's back as if he's trying to hold on for dear life.

A tear rolls down his cheek, as he closes his eyes; the answers he's been looking for; now he _knows._ The light he saw must have been the last thing Cheryl had seen before she too was consumed into the darkness, only different she never came out of it.

…

He pulls back slowly, and when he looks up, Brendan's pale blue eyes are boring into his. Brendan's thumb wipes away his tears.

"Brendan?" he says faintly in a croaked tone, unable to read his expression. But he doesn't respond, just stares at him. Ste tries to move a little, the tight space between them suffocating him, but suddenly Brendan grips his head between his hands and presses their lips together sending a electric shock through his body, bringing him to back to life.

He feels himself being pressed down into the couch, as Brendan's tongue penetrates and collides with his in an immense wet heat. Makes him feel weaker than he already is. He moans when his hair is tugged back, and Brendan's lips and tongue conquer his neck, throat, assaulting every sensitive spots. But suddenly he pulls back, and looks into his eyes deeply.

He flinches slightly when he feels the back of Brendan's fingers trail down his flushed cheeks, his eyes trailing down with it.

"Ye so beautiful Steven," he says in lowly, almost like he's speaking to himself. It makes Ste's body shiver; hearing him say it makes it seem like it's the truth, like he really _is._

It's like Brendan's eyes are hypnotizing him, pulling him. But then suddenly he stands up, he thinks he's going to leave, but he doesn't. He grabs Ste's wrist, and pulls him up. He feels suddenly dizzy, but Brendan captures him by his waist; Ste's his hands land on his chest as he tries to hold on, he looks up at him. And the sight of him takes his breath away. His pale blue eyes, pale skin, red lips framed by a dark trimmed beard.

Brendan wipes the fringe away from his forehead, then thumbs over his brow, down his cheek bone, his jaw and over his plump lips, parting them. Ste's heart beat increases as he dips his head, and sticks his tongue between the gap, invading him, exploring all over, pushing in deep and heavy, making him feel like he's going to faint at any moment.

He doesn't realize what's happening till he's suddenly feels something soft beneath his back, with Brendan on top of him staring down at him with lustful eyes.

His feels a slight chill on the side of his waist as Brendan lifts his shirt up gently, his gaze not leaving his as he does so. His body tingles when his fingers run up his side over his rib cage, down his stomach making him gasp slightly at the touch when he stomach caves in. Brendan dips his head and peppers kisses up his stomach and chest. Ste lets out a whimpery moan when Brendan licks his sensitive nipples, sending a pleasure through his body he never knew existed.

Brendan grips his hands without pulling back from the kisses, and pushes them above his head, stretching him out. He feels his shirt being lifted over his head, and then Brendan's on him again, gently though, kissing and sucking his collar bone, neck, throat, grunting and moaning as he does so. He tentatively grasps onto the material of Brendan's shirt, as Brendan penetrates his tongue into his mouth, and kisses him deep, and wide, making him breathless and dazed.

Brendan pulls back from the kiss; his eyes are dilated and black, lips swollen and red. Ste's eyes flutter in nervousness and cheeks flush in embarrassment as he feels Brendan's eyes trail down his body.

His breath becomes shallow when Brendan's hand begins to paint his smooth canvas with his hands, up his arm, over his shoulder blades and down the middle of his chest, then down his stomach, then comes to a halt right above the hem of his trousers.

"Ye want this?..." Brendan asks in low deep voice, his finger tips lingering. Ste swallows, his heart pounding in his chest, and looking up at him with Bambi eyes; so innocent and pure.

Brendan glides his finger tip across his stomach making him whimper in response.

"Tell me ye want this?" he asks again, like he's pleading with him.

Ste's gaze falters, and bites his lips unconsciously as he nods lightly.

He watches as Brendan leans back off the bed, and begins to strip bare, his gaze not leaving his as he does slow. His heart beats faster and faster as Brendan reveals his tone, pale, muscular body to him. It takes his breath away; it's like he's been carved out, each part of him perfect; strong and powerful, just like- suddenly it dawns on him, the reason why he'd been so fascinated by that Greek sculpture; it embodied everything that Brendan _is._ The realization makes his heart beat even faster, sweat prickle out of his pours.

"It's alright...don't be scared..." Brendan says as he runs the back of his fingers down Ste's cheek, leans in captures his bottom lip with his, then stick his tongue back in, his warm tongue roaming inside his mouth, feeling all over it's walls, roof, and tongue, but then he pulls back, and grabs Ste's hand. "Move ye tongue like this…" he says lowly and demonstrates in the palm of his hand, licks and sucks in the middle, and that alone makes Ste's body shiver, how is it possible that Brendan's tongue in his hand can make him feel that way.

"Got that?" he asks lowly, as he leans back, and thumbs over Ste's plump lip and parts it open and sticks his tongue between his lips, and connects his tongue with his. Ste tries to mimic it, he knows he's not as good but he tries, and moans with it, it feel amazing, the heat of it makes him dazed. He feels Brendan's body press down against him, the skin on skin contact makes his breath hitch, his breath labored, and heart pounding like a drum. He feels his cock and Brendan's glide, making him gasp. Brendan grips his hair and pulls it back, and begins kissing and sucking every part of him. Ste's moans are like a faint cries as Brendan kisses and sucks his naval and hip bone. He lets out a heavy whimper when he feels Brendan's lips press against his cock. "Ye okay? " he asks looking up at Ste.

He shakes his head in response, unable to speak, he's never felt more _okay. _

He gasps when Brendan's tongue licks around his sensitive skin, and lowers his lip over his head, the feeling is so overwhelming he feels like he's going to faint from it. He pushes up his hip without realizing, causing Brendan to pull back.

"Easy boy," he says, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth, then leans back down onto him, and kisses him, there's a flavor he's never tasted,a mix of tanginess, and saltiness; whatever it is, it making him crazy. He feels Brendan's cock press into his stomach, grinding himself on him, his body so warm, and heavy against his. The hairs on his groin and chest rub against his smooth skin, making his whole body tingle.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle…" he says quietly and kisses his cheek, and the corner of his lips, "I'll make ye feel so good… promise…" Brendan says, his words make him shudder.

Ste watches as his he walks over towards his vanity; opening the drawer. His heart begins to beat faster when Brendan crawls back on the bed with some kind of lotion in his hand, and places it on the bed. He parts his legs and crawls in-between them, and runs his palms down his thighs till he reaches his cheeks, and feels over them with his palms and squeezes them gently, making him moan, "Ye want that yea?" Brendan whispers in his ear and looks into his eyes as he nods, then kisses down his neck and down his stomach till he reaches his groin and kisses his cock one last time. Grabs the bottle and pops the lid open, he watches with curious eyes as Brendan squirts a white thick liquid onto his fingers, parts his cheeks, and rubs it over his entrance making him squirm, it feels warm and wet.

"Relax for me boy…" Brendan says as he presses the tip of his finger in. He gasps when it goes in further, feels his muscle stretch, and then clamp on his finger.

"Relax Steven, just relax," he says as he strokes his thigh lightly and pushes in deeper. His finger feel hot inside of him, and when he begins pushing in and out of him slowly, then feels him add another finger, stretching him bit wider, as they push in and out of him, then another; he bites his lips to keep himself from groaning at the initial pain as his muscles stretch further, he doesn't know what's suppose to happen but at the moment it's painful.

"It'll get better, just relax boy," Brendan says to him, as he angles his fingers; he gasps and closes his eyes, when he sudden feeling takes over him; he doesn't know what it is, or how its happening all he knows it happens, when Brendan presses his finger deep inside him; it's a feeling he's never felt before and he finds himself lifting his hip, wanting more of it, but Brendan's fingers retract. He opens his eyes thinking he's done something wrong, but everything is like a blur, but then he notices Brendan's touching himself, and lathering his cock with the white cream, as he stares at him. He swallows when Brendan leans back down, and lifts his legs, grabs his cock leans in more. He moans and closes his eyes as Brendan rub his hole withe the head of his cock. It feels so soft, wet and warm against his hole, but then suddenly he feels his muscle stretch. He gasps and feels an immense sharp pain, he squeezes his eyes shut, and hands fist the sheets.

"Ye okay? I am hurting ye, just tell me, I'll stop," Brendan says. He's unable to speak at the moment, he feels Brendan pull out of him, and leans over, running his fingers through his hair soothingly.

"Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to hurt ye," Brendan says quietly and kisses his cheeks and wet lashes gently.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want," he says to him. Ste parts his eyes and notices the way Brendan's staring at him; gentle, caring; like he adores him.

He shakes his head, "I do," he says in a faint voice.

"Ye sure?" Brendan asks him again, running his hand over cheek gently. He nods.

"Okay...then I need ye to relax for me okay, just relax, can ye do that for me?…" he asks soothingly. Ste nods. Brendan kisses him gently on the lips, then runs his hands down his body making making him tremble. He watches Brendan put some more of the cream onto his hand then rubs it over his hole, massages it over it, and then presses his finger in again, it goes in easier this time and then adds another finger and pushes it into him.

"Ye okay?" he asks as he stretches him more; he nods.

He feels Brendan's fingers pull out, and his cock press against his hole, he grips the sheet embracing himself again, and when he pushes in this time, it's not as painful as the first, but it still hurts, he bites his lips to contain his cries. He doesn't know if that's how it's suppose to feel, because at the moment it's painful, like he's being stretch out, a burning, and stinging sensation.

"Just relax…relax, breath, " Brendan whispers, barely containing his moans, as he pushes in deeper. Ste can't comprehend the feeling, it's so intense and overpowering its blinding as Brendan goes in and out of him slowly. Suddenly he feels the pain go away, and it's just heat, wetness, and friction that he feels.

"yea…like that…good boy…" he says as he thrusts into him gently. He grips his wrists and pushes them above his head as he angles him self and pushes in deeper, crying out carnally at the pleasure that courses through his body, "Oh...god...fuck," Brendan curses.

Ste lets out a whimpery cry when his cock pushes deep inside him, making him feel that sensation again, but its ten times more pleasurable, his body trembles with it. The feeling consumes him, makes him make sounds he's never made, then he feels Brendan's tongue in his mouth, kissing him wildly, as he thrusts into him, the pleasures combines and it's throwing him over the edge. He wonders if its all just a dream, a dream he's going to have to wake up from any moment, because never in his life did he think something like this could exist or happen to him.

"It's okay, let it out, scream for me…" he hears Brendan breath hotly into his ears as he pushes in bit harder and deeper hitting that spot deep inside him. So he does, as he feels something come over his body, it's like all his nerves are shaking, and muscles contracting. His moans are like cries, desperate and pleading. He arches his back, the feeling so immense, and overbearing, then suddenly feels Brendan's warm hands on his cock tossing him as he pushes deep in him bit harder and faster, his cries mimicking his. Suddenly he cries out as he feels his whole body shudder and releases a immense wave of pleasure through his body, releasing through his cock all over Brendan's chest and hand. As Brendan thrusts into him harder and faster, and it just makes everything ten times more pleasurable; he feels him hold deep inside of him, pressing against that spot that seems to drive him crazy and then, Brendan's body trembles against his, and suddenly feels a warm liquid release inside him, making him cry out with the pleasure. His body collapses onto his; so hot, and wet against his. His heart beating frantically and hot breath against his neck, his finger running through his hair. He feels like he's somewhere else, in some place he's never been before, it feels so surreal, like he's dreaming, afraid he'll be waken at any moment.

"Happy belated birthday Steven," he breathes into his ears.

…

Brendan lifts his head and finally gets a closer look at the state of the boy as he looks into his glossy blue eyes. His hair is damp and tussled, golden skin flushed and slicked with sweat, his lips bruised, red, and shinny, his chest heaving, his breath heavy, he's never looked more alive,"Ye okay?" he asks breathlessly, needing to know that the boy is alright.

He nods and looks into his eyes. He can't get over how the boy is looking at him like he's some kind of God. All he wanted to do was just make him feel good, but the look he's giving him is too much to bare; it's a responsibility he's not willing to take. He feels like an asshole, because he just took the boys virginity, but what did the boy expect, it's just sex, nothing more.

"I am gonna go take a shower," he says to him, and pulls up from him. Ste gets up slowly, his gaze faltered as he looks around the bed.

"Where ye going?" he asks him, as he bends to grab his shirt, but Brendan stops him, grabs his wrist and pulls him towards himself, and cant help but pull the boy closer, and he runs the back of his hand over his cheek. The boy looks up at him tentatively, a frown on his beautiful lips, like he's done something wrong.

"Come-on…" he says quietly, and grips his hand and pulls him towards the bathroom before he's even able to stop himself. He turns on the light and checks the shower, it's small but it can hold both of them.

He turns the water on first and waits till it luke warm.

"Get in," he tells him, and the boy's looking up at him hesitantly before he steps in, he gasps when the water touches his skin, he steps in after him.

"Ye okay?" he asks, his hands on his shoulders.

"I..I am sorry…" his tone is barely audible, but he hears him, Brendan lowers his head, "For what?"

"Sorry, if…if…I wasn't…good enough…if I-" Brendan lifts his chin with his finger, so he's looking at him.

"Ye were good….very good…" Brendan says, but fuck _good_ is an understatement, he never felt so amazing in his life, the feeling of being inside the boy was hundred times better than all the fantasies that he had of him, and more pleasurable than all those times he fucked other women. It was overpowering, over baring, that it actually scared him, because he meant for this to be a one off, just so that deep desire and temptation for the boy would lessen. But there he is, staring into the boys eyes; dying to press him against the wall and take him all over again.

"Why me?" the boy suddenly asks in a faint tone, which throws him completely off, as water cascades down their body.

"What ye mean?" he asks.

"There are plenty of other…ye know, blokes that are…good looking, and…and better…"

He lifts his chin making him look in the eyes, "Ye don't think ye good looking?" he asks surprised by the boys lack of confidence. Ste frowns in response. Brendan leans his head over him and looks him in the eyes, "Ye beautiful Steven, more, more than-" he stops him self and grabs the boys head and kisses him, before he knows it, he has him pressed against the wall, and feeling over his warm and wet body that feels like pure silk under his hands; reacquainting himself with it. He moans and grunts at the taste of the water and the boys wet tongue against his, he can tell he's getting better at kissing, though it makes him even more turned on, the fact he's teaching this boy, showing him things he's never known.

He feels his cock harden against him. He slides his hand down his groin and fists it, tossing him off. He swallows the boys delicious moans which harden him further, he grips his own cock and presses into the boys naval, the slip and slide of it against his hot skin makes him wild, and it's taking him all his power to not turn him around and just fuck him against this wall mercilessly, and ruin him completely, not leave a shred of innocence in him.

But he holds it in, he can't hurt the boy, and focuses on pleasuring him. Before he knows it, the boy shudders against him, his head slumps against his shoulder and releases all over him, he presses his cock against the boys stomach and grips his cock hard rubbing it against his flesh, groaning and swearing as his orgasm shoots through him, and comes all over him, panting and breathless. They stay like that for a few seconds catching their breathes, as water cleans them, suddenly a loud noise alerts him. He shuts off the water quickly.

"What is-" Brendan places his hand on his mouth, "Shhh…." Listening for what it was, then just when he thinks it nothing he hears it again.

"Fuck," he says, quickly gets out the shower, wraps a towel around him self.

"Wait here, do not move, ye hear me?" he warn. Ste nods, as he steps back against the shower wall. Brendan quickly opens the door and the banging gets louder.

"Who is it?" he asks as he reaches the door.

"It's me Danny, fucking open up."

Brendan doesn't think his heart has ever pounded so hard in his life, he swallows, "One second," he says and quickly runs to the bathroom. Ste looks startled as he grips his arm hard, and covers his mouth.

"Ye stay in hear and don't move till I come back," he growls.

There's another loud bang on the door. "Ye make one noise, ye dead ye hear me," Brendan growls thickly. Ste nods frantically, his eyes pleading. Brendan takes his hand off his mouth, quickly turns off the light, shuts the door, leaving the boy in the darkness. He opens the door, before he can open his mouth, Danny barges in without warning.

...

**Review? **


	10. Chapter 10

Hey me loves! I apologize for the late update! Been super busy, so to make up for it, the chapter is very long, hope it doesn't bore you guys! And for those who reviewed, thank you so much, your words truly kind and made my heart warm, makes it worth the time spent writing. :) ** LOVE YOU ALL! ^_^**

**...**

**Chapter 10**

...

His forehead was sodden with a mix of sweat and water, as he faced a hostile Danny stood in his living room.

"Is it true?" Danny asked in an acidic tone, gaze pointed at him like a laser.

"What ye talking about?" he asked thickly.

"Vinny…he said you beat him up because he refused you?"

Brendan brows knit together, he stepped forward, heart hammering underneath his sculpted chest.

"What?..."

"Do I need to spell it for you?" Danny asked, tone menacing.

Brendan's cheek ticked, body tensed, as he took a step closer to Danny like he was ready for a battle, "What did Vincent say?" Brendan asked thickly, needed to make sure he hadn't heard wrong.

"He said you tried it on with him," Danny growled.

Brendan's gaze was like daggers, "I ain't fucking queer," he snarled.

"Then why did he say it?" Danny asked with a growl, challenging him.

"He's the one who tried it on with me, fucking tried to kiss me, so I taught him a lesson, beat him up."

"Then why'd you lie to me when I asked where he left to?" Danny asked with a dangerous growl.

"He wasn't worth the risk, there's countless councils rats out there like him, to use," he explained with a heavy tone.

Danny's expression had softened, taking in what he was saying. He nodded, bit his lips, hands on hips, "Well next time, don't fucking hide shit from me, I hate hearing shit from others."

"As long as ye promise not to fucking as anything so fucking ludicrous again," Brendan snarled.

"Well, you know me Brendan, I like to confirm things for myself," Danny said, he sniffed and licked his lips, turned head turned.

"I expected something more impressive," he said, observing the state of Brendan's apartment.

"Well ye know me Danny, am a simple man," he drawled.

"Well, anyways, I'll leave you to it, and next time, have your fucking clothes on," he added, oddly eyeing him up and down as if he'd just realized Brendan was half-naked, torso wrapped in navy towel.

"Well, if ye weren't about to break my door down, then I would've."

Danny chuckled, "Impatience is never a good thing...I've learn that, be at pub tomorrow evening, don't be late," he ordered and headed towards the door, Brendan followed suit.

"Yea, see ye Danny," Brendan snorted, waited till he got in his car and drove off. He let out a heavy breath as he shut the door, and leaned his forehead on it, letting the rhythm of his heart beat calm down.

It boiled his blood that he'd allowed himself to go as far as he did, to sleep with another _man_, and not just any man, but a boy whom he'd promised himself he'd stay away from.

Brendan's eyes widened, when he pushed the bathroom door open, and switched the lights on. The boy was curled up in ball on the floor, in the corner of the bathroom, naked, and shivering, face buried in his skinny arm. He'd looked up, him.

His electric blue eyes were rimmed red, glass like, with tears, lip bruised, and quivering, skin tainted with marks _he'd _made. He was that of a frail, ravaged doll; vulnerable, yet beautiful, so surreal it was sinful to even look at him.

He sunk further into the corner like he was trying to disappear.

"Steven?"

He swiftly lowered himself, the boy flinched when he touched his forearm.

"I…I am…sorry.…I won't, I won't do it again, please…I am…I am sorry," he whimpered, his eyes pleading.

"Ay, what ye talking about Steven?" Brendan asked lowly. Fear was etched in his eyes, lips trembling. It had suddenly hit him, "Ye think I am gonna hurt ye?" he asked, with raised brows.

His faltering gaze spoke volumes, he placed his finger under the boy's chin, and lifted it, he looked deeply into his eyes, as he spoke, "I'd never do that to ye Steven." He'd been disgusted by the thought, that the boy believed he was capable of hurting him, as _ironic_ and _hypocritical_ it was, he knew he'd never hurt _him_, at least not intentionally. _  
><em>

"But…you.. you hurt him," he said in a faint tone. _Of course he fucking heard, _he'd been too consumed and heated with the accusation that he'd forgotten the boy was still there.

"What ye..." he lips pressed together, cocked his head, "That…it's not...it not the same, ye not like him, he cupped his delicate neck - still damp,"I'd never do that to ye," he said, looking into his eyes. He was looking back at Brendan like he wanted to believe him.

Brendan's gaze lowered to his lips, subconsciously, slowly he trailed his thumb up, and lightly pressed over his bottom lip, the softness of them, like _velvet,_ hypnotizing him in the desire to kiss him, but he held back, it wasn't _right, _he was going_ too far._

He stood up, gripped the boy's arm gently, "C'mon, get up," pulled him up to his feet, he swallowed as his gaze feel upon the boy's flaccid pink cock.

The boys cheeks flushed, in awareness, his hands tentatively covered his modesty as he walked out the bathroom slowly, Brendan followed. It was hard to avert his gaze from the boys golden globes, remembering the feel of them, and how he'd fucked him, just moments thought had traveled down to his cock covered only by his towel. He hated the effect the boy had on him, he wasn't suppose to feel that way, it was just a _one off,_ he convinced himself.

"Sit down," he said, and walked over to the closet and fetched him a pair of sweat pants, and a white T-shirt.

The boy looked at him confused when he tossed them to him.

"Stay for tonight, it's late already."

"I..can take the bus," the boy suggested, quietly.

"No…Steven, it's not safe out at this time, and if I take ye home, what will ye parents think?" He couldn't tell him the real reason, couldn't risk being seen, especially after the confrontation he'd had with Danny.

The boys gaze faltered, "You can drop me off a block away," he insisted, a stubbornness he'd never seen from the boy.

"It's just for the night Steven, tomorrow morning, I'll drop ye off at work, yeah?" Brendan's cheek ticked, the boy just didn't get it - but of course it wasn't his fault.

"But my parents-"

"Tell'm ye're at ye mate's house, or something," he was getting irritated, he fetched the phone for him before the boy could argue, and by the look of the it, boy realized he wasn't going home.

Brendan head out the room to give him space. Poured himself whiskey, let the liquid burn down his throat, as he leaned against the counter with his eyes closed. He could hear the boy's voice, though barely audible. He returned back to the room, after a moment.

"Settled?" he asked as he stepped into the room, the boy nodded, he was already dressed, while he was still naked with just a towel wrapped around him.

He leaned against the wall, "What ye tell them?" he swirled the glass of whiskey in his hand.

"Told'm am staying at me mates, Rae's," the name tensed him, he licked his lips, "What if ye parents call her?"

"I texted her."

"She question ye?"

"No, I just told her I needed a favor."

Brendan raised his brows and nodded, "She must really like ye?" he claimed, tone slightly bitter.

"We're good mates," he said quietly. Brendan held his urge to ask if it was more than that. He pressed away from the wall, "Drink?"

"I don't drink…"

"Oh…right," he walked over towards the vanity, placed his cup onto it, his back away from the boy, finger rimming over the empty glass.

…

His mind was a blender of confusion and nerves, he'd never lied to his parents before, at least not like that. It made his stomach knot, but he couldn't tell them the _truth._

He hadn't expected to hear everything, but he had, and the revelation of what Brendan had done, winded him; it was then he'd realized he really didn't know Brendan, at least not that side, he was aware he was intimidating, and powerful, but he never thought he'd beat someone up for trying to kiss him.

Ste didn't understand, Brendan saying he wasn't gay, but slept with him, touched him in ways that he didn't think any straight man would, not that he himself even knew what his sexuality was anymore.

That was the thing about the man, he'd always been unpredictable, one minute gentle, the next rough, but even though it reserved no logic, he felt safe, and comfortable when near him.

Faint tapping against the wood vanity, was the only noise amidst the silence. He attempted to not gawk at Brendan's muscular back. He couldn't take his eyes off his body, his broad shoulders, strong muscular arms, which had his legs pinned, and just beneath that towel, that cock, that buried itself deep inside him, giving him a pleasure which blinded him, made him forget everything bad that existed in his life, even if it had been for a few minutes, the longest, most pleasurable minutes of his entire life.

"I know ye've met Danny," Brendan's voice had startled him out of his thoughts. He remained silent, his gaze was unsteady as he fiddled with his fingers, his heart began beating faster as Brendan walked closer to him.

"He's not who ye think he is," he said to him, gaining his attention. Brendan's gaze was intense and unnerving.

"I've only met him few times, at the restaurant," Ste revealed quietly, not understanding what Brendan was getting at, and how Brendan even knew he knew Danny.

"I know men like him, he's bad news," Brendan claimed, but he'd seen nothing wrong with the man, perhaps he seemed overly friendly, but then again, he couldn't judge since he barely had any friends, all he knew about the man was, he appreciates his food, he saw nothing bad in that.

"Did he do something wrong?" he asked quietly.

Brendan let out a heavy sigh, "Just…just, promise me ye will stay away?" he begged desperately. He wanted to asked why, but whatever it was, it was obvious Brendan was not going to tell him, so he just nodded, "Okay."

Brendan looked at him intensely for a few seconds before he shifted his gaze, "I am gonna go step outside for a bit, ye head on to sleep, ye can take the bed."

He grabbed a shirt from his closet, and slipped it over his head.

"It's alright, I-"

"I said ye can sleep here, so stop talking," he drawled, his back away from Ste, he dropped his towel, Ste forced his gaze down, a sudden heat wave crossed over him.

He watched as he left the room, closing the door behind.

_…_

Danny had hired Vinny to work for him, undercover; sell drugs to brainless college students. But Brendan was in charge of him, made sure he got the done job. But Vinny had become like gum stuck on Brendan's shoe, he'd show up even when Brendan never asked for him. Always eager and keen to do anything Brendan wanted, _needed._ It began irritating him, he hadn't realized it was because the boy had a _thing_ for him, not till, one night he'd come to give Brendan the money from whatever he'd sold, and tried to kiss him. Brendan had beat him to the ground, _revolted._ Left him, bloody and unconscious, he'd never seen him since. Not till Danny had brought him up.

He waited in a dark corner near the dilapidated apartment, surprised he was still living there.

"Boo," he startled him as he appeared out of the darkness, eyes cold, he wouldn't be surprised if the the boy had a heart attack and died that instant, with the fear in his eyes. He attempted to run, but Brendan grabbed his arm and slammed him hard against a busted, volts wagon parked on the curb of the decrepit neighborhood.

"Ye didn't think I'd fucking find ye?" He sneered dangerously, teeth bearing.

"I…I..am sorry… I had no choice, Danny was going to kill me," he boy cried, aware of the reasoning for Brendan's sudden appearance.

"And ye think I wouldn't?!" Brendan sneered, pressed him harder against the car.

"Please…I am..sorry…he wanted me to do some dealings, and I needed the money."

"I don't give a fuck what ye need," he held him up by the collar and lowered his face to side of his head, "This is ye last chance, ye better get out of here by tomorrow, if I ever see ye again," he landed him with a brutal punch to the ribs, "I will fucking end ye, and it's not a threat, it's a _promise_," he warned menacingly, gave him a final blow in the stomach. Left him gasping in pain, on the ground.

...

He was heavy with sleep when he felt a hot breath tingle down his neck. He stirred slightly, thinking it was the heat from the room. But then he'd felt a light, warm suction against the side of his neck, he thought he was imagining things, but then the suctions increased, forcing out of him light whimpers. His heart began to pound hard, his eyes felt heavy, didn't have the strength to open them, but he was aware of what was _happening_, he could smell the muskiness and _whiskey_.

Goosebumps broke out over his feverish skin as he felt powerful hands slide up under his shirt and pulled over his head. He let out low whimpers and moans as they caressed and massaged up his back like he was clay, it felt so _good,_ he had to dreaming. His hands glided up his arms, which were then maneuvered above his head. He felt his heavy body against his back, could feel the hairs on his chest rubbing against his skin, followed by a wet tongue that trailed down his back, his nerves shook with the burning sensation.

His heart thump faster, when he felt his pants being pulled down and ripped from his feet. Heavy hands gripped his butt cheeks, caressing them, palming them like he was clay. Each touch awakening him from his slumber, making the blood rush through his every vein. He still had his eyes closed, afraid to open them, afraid that it had just been a _dream,_ so he kept them closed as his body was taken over with intense pleasures.

…

It was three in the morning when he'd return, after paying Vinny a _little_ visit.

The room was dark, the only light was, the moonlight that peered through the blinds. His gaze fell upon the delicate body laid in his bed, white shirt ridden up slightly, revealing his golden skin, sheets crumpled by his feet.

He slipped out of his clothes, feeling hot, and heavy. Glided onto the bed with just his boxers. He stared at him; his neck glimmered with sweat, his lashes long, nose sharp, mouth parted slightly - his profile was just as _beautiful._

The night heat, allowed himself to believe it was the _alcohol, _that made him feel that way, _delirious_ with need. He leaned over, and kissed the side of his neck, the boy let out a slight moan, which just made him hungrier, he convinced himself, it was just kisses, but as he began sucking and kissing inch by inch, tasting the sweetness of his skin mixed with sweat, just made him want more. Before he could stop himself his hands were caressing his body, feeling over the lean muscles; so smooth and hot.

The boy's body language, and moans, was a clear sigh that he _wanted_ it. The way he squirmed under him, yielding and keen. He wanted to kiss him so badly, to devour his tongue, each inside his mouth, but it was too intimate, he didn't do _intimate,_ never had, and he wasn't going to let the boy_ change _that. He'd kissed him before but that was before he'd taken him, needed to taste him for the first time, could excuse his reasonings; manipulated himself into believing it was for the boys sake. So fucking, yes _fucking - that's what it only was -_ him from the back was the more_ relevant; _seeinghis beautiful would only break his resolve, and he couldn't risk it, not _again._

He gripped the boy's hip and shifted him to the middle of the bed, knowing they'd need the space. Aware that the boy knew what he was doing, maneuvered the boy's knees under him, he stayed quiet, and compliant - it just turned Brendan on more. He lathered his thick cock with spit, since he'd ran out of lube from earlier. Heavy breaths emitted from his parted lips, as he stroke his cock a few times, and parted the boys cheeks. With his thumbs he rubbed over the boys hole in a circular motion, and parted it as wide as he could, and spit on his hole. With his cock gathered the spit that trailed down his tail bone, and with the head of his cock, he smeared it over his his entrance; he moaned and grunted at amazing feel of it, his precum adding to it. He circled around it, pushing against his muscles, till it stretched open, and paved way for him. The boy gasped when he reached the resistance, he stroke his thighs as he pushed deeper, grunting with the intense pleasure as his heat swallowed him.

He began with deep, slow, thrusts, the boy was obviously still in a haze, gave him time to wake, before he picked up speed, with it escaped from him, erotic, and shameless moans, as pleasure began consuming his every nerve, driving him over the edge. He gripped his hips harder, and pulled him hard against him. His slim body swayed back and forth as he picked up speed, the pleasure intensify each time. The silence of the room was interrupted by the crude sounds of his balls slapping against he boys ass, as he fucked him _raw, he'd always been safe with others, always used rubber, _but with this boy, he couldn't, needed to feel him completely.

The boys whimpering and moans traveled through his ears like melody, never had he been pleasured by sounds alone. They weren't going to last long, he'd pulled out completely and pushed back in one fluid motion, deep, and hard, hitting the boys sensitive spot, _awakening_ him further. He gripped the boys throbbing cock, and tossed him off, as he rocked into him harder and deeper, going as deep as he possibly could cursing out with the pleasure, soon he felt the boys warm cum spill all over his hand. Pulled him closer and held him tight and plunged into him in deeper and harder, faster as he too reached climax, and pressed the head of his throbbing cock deep inside his prostate; roaring like an wounded animal as he came deep inside him, his entire foundation shook as his orgasm thundered through his body. He fucked him deep till he was milked to an oblivion. He placed a soft kiss against his neck, before he pulled out of him, and rolled onto his back, tired and breathless.

The boy's body was glistening with sweat, and just as breathless, and spent. The urge to pull the boy near to him was immense; something he'd never done, or ever wanted to do before. In order to suppress that urge, he'd turned around, and gave way to sleep.

A loud buzz on his phone awoke him in his slumber, he'd groaned and pressed his head back into his pillow; though satisfied with his sleep, the best he'd had in a long while. He turned his head, stared at the golden body tangled up in his gray sheets; painted by the bright horizontal lights, peering through the blinds. His face was angled towards him; angelic and beautiful. His chest rose up and down in a slow rhythm as calm breaths escaped his plush lips; he could stare at him _forever._

But time was against him, and as much as he preferred to stay in bed all day, reality was a cruel check. He rose up from the bed, groaning in frustration, when he noticed his cock was erect as a statute. It wasn't a surprise, he'd always sported morning glories, problem was, the boy laid in his bed wasn't making it any easier, in fact he'd never been so hard in the morning, to the point he felt he'd explode if he didn't get release. Afraid he'd scummb to his desires, he forced himself to look away, or else he'd be in danger of repeating what had happened in the night, and he wouldn't be able to blame the whiskey, though he was well aware, he'd hadn't had that much, that would alter his state of _mind._

He tossed himself off in the shower, fast and hard, remembering what he'd done to the boy, and what he'd _still_ wanted to do, but it was wrong, _all wrong,_ he'd crossed the line already. He dressed himself, before he walked over to the side of the bed to awaken him.

"Steven…" he called out in a low voice, but the boy didn't respond. So he reached over, and slightly nudged his shoulder, the feel of his smooth, warm silky warm skin, sent a shiver down his body; he had to pull back, to keep himself from _mauling_ the boy, "Steven…C'mon, get up," he said in deeper and firmer tone. It worked, he stirred. And when he'd opened his eyes gingerly revealing the deep blue sea of his eyes, framed by those long lashes, it winded him; how fucking beautiful they are, _he is._

"C'mon, get up, it's late," he needed the boy to be out of his bed before he'd lose control. The boy seemed coy and somewhat embarrassed, as he slightly shifted from the bed.

"Did I hurt ye?" when he heard the boy wince faintly.

The boy looked up at him and shook his head.

"Don't lie to me Steven?" he said lowly, he was aware he was a bit rough, compared to the first time, but he didn't think he'd been too rough.

"I am not…" he said quietly, looking at Brendan, lashes fluttering; he looked so fucking young, and vulnerable, Brendan just wanted to pull him into his arms and keep him there, protect him. He lifted his hand just above the boys flushed, glowing cheek, but he pulled back, "Go, get in the shower," he said, his tone a bit cold, he couldn't help it, the boy made him feel things he'd _never_ felt before, things he _shouldn't, _and it just didn't settle right, it wasn't him.

Brendan sat up from the bed, when the boy arrived back within ten minutes. He walked over to him, with his clothes in his hand, "Ye alright?" he asked in a low tone, his gazer flickering over the boys naked, and damp, flushed body, wrapped in a towel.

The boy nodded; looking up at him timidly he seemed to do that a lot. Brendan cocked his head slightly, gaze intense, couldn't help but look at him, he looked so beautiful. He lifted his hand slightly and brushed the wet fringe that was against his forehead, wanted to brush his hand through his, feel the silkiness of his threads, between his fingers. Instead he stroked his cheek with the back of his fingers, ever so gently, like he was some kind of expensive china glass, his gaze traveled along with his fingers, as it made way to his plump lips, which seemed somehow fuller and softer.

…

If he was brave enough, he'd suck it his thumb that caressed his lip, but he just stood still, looking up at the man in front of him, his gaze so powerful he felt weak with it.

Brendan made him feel weak in every way, like his body and mind could not function when near him; only thing he could see is _him._ What ever came over him that instant, he did not know, all he knew that his heart thumped faster when his lips pressed against his, desperate for his touch, but then a heavy hand against his chest, and pressed him back.

"What ye think ye doing?" Brendan asked in thick growl, altering him.

"Am…am...sorry..I…I...thought.." he stuttered.

"Thought what?" he asked thickly.

Ste lowered his gaze, "That, ya…wanted me…to kiss you…"

Brendan lifted his chin, and forcing him to look up, "Ye don't ever touch me, ye understand," he snarled in disgust.

Ste swallowed hard, his throat felt dry, he couldn't stop the tears forming in his eyes, "I..am sorry…I won't," he said, with quivering lips, he'd been afraid that he _crossed_ the line.

But Brendan's grip had suddenly loosened, his expression calmed, it startled Ste at how quick he could switch _on _and _off._ Brendan raised his hand like was about to touch him, but he pulled back, and itched his brow, as he looked down at his feet, "Get dressed," he said in a low tone, and handed him the clothes, and exited the room.

Ste frowned as he looked at his clothes in his hands, his mood had shifted. He'd been embarrassed, the fact he'd been so stupid to think Brendan _liked_ him, wanted to kiss him, of course he _didn't,_ who would, he convinced himself.

Once he finished getting dressed, he joined Brendan in the living room who was stood against the chicken counter, head bowed down, hands in pocket, Ste had never seen him like that, almost like he was defeated, but that didn't make sense to him, what could defeat Brendan. He stood up straight when he noticed Ste.

"Ready?"

"Ummm, have you seen my glasses," Ste asked quietly, not looking directly into Brendan's eyes.

"Over there, they're cracked though," he pointed to the lamp table. Ste walked over it, and picked it up, the left side was completely shattered.

"Something the matter?" Brendan asked from behind.

"No," his tone sounded hesitant, and him fumbling with his fingers was not exactly helping him prove otherwise.

"Tell me what's wrong Steven?" Brendan asked, walking towards him.

Ste's gaze wavered, "I…I…don't-"

"Don't what?" Brendan asked, staring at him intensely.

Ste's eyes flickered up and down, "I…don't want you, to hate me," he said faintly, gaze averted.

"Why ye think I'd hate ye?" Brendan asked with raised brows, voice thick and husky.

"You know, because, I...I-" he stuttered nervously, not knowing how to explain, he looked up, Brendan's gaze was piercing a hole through his head, waiting for him to continue.

"Because…I…I made you sleep with me," he finally claimed, his throat felt sore.

"What?" Brendan asked roughly, and walked towards him, "Made me?" he asked in bafflement.

Ste looked up; he swallowed, taken aback by the look of disgust on Brendan's face. Suddenly he gripped his chin, and lifted it, forcing him to look into his deep, pale blue eyes, "Ye listen to me boy, not ye, or anyone can make me do anything, I fucked ye because I wanted to," he explained, in callous tone, that had the hairs on Ste's neck stand up.

"I am…I am sorry, I…I just thought I pressured you."

"Pressured, what makes ye think I can be pressured?" Brendan asked thickly.

"I don't know...I...I just...I didn't think you'd want someone like me," he said faintly, gaze downward.

Brendan let out a heavy breath, kneaded his brows, "I...I told ye, I just…I ain't queer," he pressed his lips together, and sniffed, and continued in low voice, almost like he was whispering, "What happened was just, spur of moment, it had nothing to do with wanting ye...just was, ye know feeling up for it at the moment, and ye were just there, nothing else to it."

Ste wasn't able to look at Brendan, his heart felt a pain, he was alien to it, he didn't understand it.

"C'mon, lets go," Brendan said, after a moment of awkward silence. Ste, followed him quietly, out his apartment, head bowed in shame.

Brendan hadn't said anything; he switched on the CD player, the songs that played, were nothing Ste ever heard of before, but whatever it was, it ironically fit Brendan.

"Johnny Cash, he's a legend," Brendan had said broken the silence, as if he had read his mind. Ste didn't know what to say, he just nodded in response, fiddling with his thumbs, looking down at his lap. After what had seemed like eternity, Brendan pulled up into an empty parking lot behind a building in the restaurant. Ste thanked him for the ride quietly as he was prepared to get out, "I don't want anyone knowing about what happened, yea?" Brendan had said in warning, when Ste reached for door handle.

He just nodded in response, its not like he was planning on telling anyone regardless. He stepped out the car, and just when he was about to shut the car door, Brendan called out to him, "About what I said before…I am serious, stay away from Danny," he restated looking at him intensely. Ste had expected him to say something else at that moment, Danny had been least of his worries. He nodded in response, and got out the car, and closed the door. He watched as his car drove off hastily, leaving nothing but whist of carbon mist; like he'd felt everything had been.

…

Danny was off on his business 'vacation' again. With little on his hands, he'd been consumed by his thoughts of the boy, and he_ hated_ it.

Driving didn't give that boost of adrenaline, that pumped through his blood, like riding his motorcycle did. Driving was just part of his plan, besides that, he'd prefer a motorcycle any day. He'd been silence regarding the matter with, the boy, and for a moment, he'd almost let himself believe that perhaps Danny had forgotten about it, but he knew _better_.

Walker was still in the same state, Brendan, spent time talking to him, whenever he could, or didn't to let out steam, regardless of it, because the doctor had apparently, said coma patients sometimes can hear even if they don't respond, though rare, Brendan took the chanced, and talked to him like he was fully conversing; random shit, nothing personal, or ideological.

Worst of all, was that his desire to fuck women had flayed like his effort to get rid of Ste from his head.

He somehow conjured an absurd thought that his cock somehow had become immune to _vaginas,_ if there was such a _thing_. He'd take them from the back when desperation called, and even then his mind would be clouded with sick fantasies, that it was the boy he was _fucking,_ though the gratification was no where near what he'd had with him,_ ever. Being with him, was like stepping down from Gold, anything else, was beneath him. _

With his company of whisky on the side, he'd sat down one night, lap top on dining table, searching for some new gear for his motorcycle , but then, he'd done something that _sickened_ him, at least he wanted it to sicken him. His legs shook in nervousness as he typed the words in the search engine; gay _porn._ He'd watched porn before, but that was a different kind.

His fingers felt clammy as he clicked on the first site that popped up, he swallowed hard at clips of all the gay porn available. He'd turned his head as if someone was somehow behind him,watching. He bit his lips nervously, as he clicked on the first video; his knees shaking as he pressed play. Sweat began to gather at his forehead, his hands trailed down to his groin, already hardened, before he was even though half of the three minute videos. He imagined that it was the boy in the video, draped on a desk, begging to be fucked, touching and fingering, opening himself for him; shameless, _needy. Cr_ying out loud as the older man above him fucked him deep and hard, relentless and cruel with it. He'd unzipped his jeans and gripped his cock and began tossing himself off furiously, calling out the boys named repeatedly, and came all over his hand, at that instant, his phone had rung, he cursed as he wiped his cum covered hand on his pants, and clicked off the video as if the person on the phone would be able to see.

"Hello," he said in a breathless and raspy tone.

"Am I interrupting something?" Danny had asked in an amused tone.

"No, just came back from a jog, ye back I see?"

"Yup, and we've got lots on our plate Brendan, tomorrow, we're all meeting at the club, half past four, don't be late."

"I went to see Walker, incase ye'r interested," Brendan informed.

"I know you think am some kind of monster Brendan, but Walker is one of my boys, I care about him, like I do all of you, whether you believe it or not," Danny seemed somewhat offended, and cynical, "So...how is he?"

"Same, doctors don't know how long it will be, before he wakes up," Brendan revealed, a sadness to his tone.

"He'll be up in no time, Walkers a vampire remember," Danny joked, Brendan couldn't help but chuckle at it, that's what the women called him, because he looked liked one.

"See ye tomorrow Danny," Brendan had said and hung up.

The club was under interior reconstruction, so Danny had reason to close it early. They all sat randomly all over the club, Brendan on the bar, as Danny spoke.

According to Danny they had a new threat, a _rivalry._

"They're a new gang located on the east side, they call them selves, _Spiders_."

Brendan had laughed at that, "sorry, continue," he said when Danny gave him the look.

"Trevor is their leader, and from I've heard they're not that organized, but dangerous."

Brendan had to laugh at it, he jumped off from the bar, "Ye telling me, this gang is scarier than us?" Brendan drawled cynically, not impressed by Danny's sudden waver.

"They're dangerous because they are reckless."

Brendan raised his brows, "And we're organized, reckless people always make mistakes, that within it self is a weakness, we do not posses." Brendan said.

"Regardless, they're trying to take control, we've lost two of our best buyers to them already within this short amount of time."

"You serious, that's proper bull shit, how long you been holding this back from us?" E, one of the members had asked.

"You think if I'de known sooner, I would've let it got this far?" Danny asked thickly, the man scowled.

"So what do we do?" Another asked.

"I need five of you to go check out their area; they are on the east side, and five of you to go undercover, and you," Danny pointed to Brendan, "You're in charge of operation, I'll give you full details later," Danny explained, at that moment Brendan had some sort of admiration for the man; the fact that he still trusted him, after what had happened with the other deal.

"When do we start?" Brendan asked.

"Tomorrow."

…

His hours had been extended at the restaurant because one of the main chefs had a serious back injury that wasn't work related, so he had to cover for him, still his dad got a temporary chef to fill in his spot. It had been over a month, and Ste had never worked so hard, and it was exhausting. He'd barely seen his parents since they'd all had a crazy work schedule, and with his Uni coming close he had a lot on his plate, but regardless he couldn't get _him_, out of his mind. He'd been on his mind constantly, to the point that he'd get distracted at work, and whenever his dad would ask if something was _wrong, _he'd tell him he was just tired.

One night, when his parents had been out, working late, he'd taken out his diary, one he'd planned to throw away, but he hadn't, he'd locked away in his closet in a shoe box, underneath a pile of things he barely used. When he pulled it out majority of the while pages had turned yellow, due to that one night when, Brendan had threw his diary on the wet ground, accused him of telling his dad he'd sexually abused him. Looking back at that time, he'd never thought that he'd come this far, that so much would've happened within a matter of two years.

He didn't know what came over him, but he'd sat down and read every entry he'd written, some words faintly washed out. His stomach became a knot; he couldn't believe how gormless, depressing, and bleak they were, even though they were his own words, they somehow seemed _alien. His last entry had been two years ago._

He was about to put it away, but then he'd frozen in thought for a few seconds, before he grabbed a pen, and began writing.

_August 10, 2017-_

_I don't know why I am writing again, I don't know what it is, or why, or how, I just don't know what's wrong with me, but since that one day, that one day with him, with Brendan, something in side me feels different, like that darkness, that emptiness has somehow slightly decreased, it's still there, but not as much. Perhaps because I've been constantly thinking about him, day in and day out, that it's driven everything else out, I don't know, but all I know, when he touched me, kissed me, whatever darkness and emptiness I had in that moment didn't exist, even if it was for those few moments. As shallow as it may be, when he was deep inside of me, I felt like I was alive, like I existed, felt every fiber in my body had bursted into sparks, driving me to the edge. I've never felt anything like it, never felt pleasure like it, didn't understand what it was till then. If all sex is like what it was with Brendan, then I understand why everyone was obsessed with it, in highschool and college, perhaps it was why i was made fun of, you know, I wasn't normal, I couldn't be, not if I didn't even know such pleasure existed, while every single other person did. Would it be the same with women? Though I've never tried it, I don't think it would be, I just can feel it. I mean, I've seen many attractive girls, Rae included, she's a beautiful, kind, but I don't feel anything when I am next to her, not the way I feel when I am next to him. And that feeling existed before I even slept with Brendan, I just never realized what it was, I still don't, but all I know being with him, makes my blood rush, my heart beat faster. Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter because the feeling is one sided, Brendan slept with me for only his convenience, he made that clear, but I can't help it, I wish I could see him again, but am not brave enough. I wish I could call him, hear his deep voice again, see his pale blue eyes, feel those soft, red lips of his. It scares me though, because I know I'll never have that, because he's a man, and so am I, and that's, that's wrong isn't it? Am not meant to want a man, I shouldn't even though it feels right. I just wish I could erase all these feelings because I know Brendan is far fetched like everything else in my life._

He'd shut his diary, and put it back in the shoe box. He tried to forget him, wanted something else to occupy his mind. Rae'd been surprised when he accepted her offer of going to the movie theaters because she'd become aware, he didn't like going out, never did, besides hanging out at his house or working. They'd taken the bus as Ste had suggested, didn't feel comfortable riding with anyone else, even though somehow, when he got in Brendan's car, it felt slightly different, he felt _safe, even _though Brendan drove like a maniac.

While Rae was immersed in the movie, munching on buttered popcorn, Ste was sat back, uninterested, mind far off the movie.

He'd been startled when Rae had nudged him, "Oi, you falling asleep on me," she claimed slightly offended.

"Sorry, just tired," he said, as he sat up straight, he wiped his mouth with what had seemed to be drool, he felt embarrassed. He took a sip from his coke bottle to awaken him, as he stared blankly at the screen hoping the movie would end soon. But the his body had heat up, collar felt tight, as an explicit sex scene unfolded on the big screen, it wasn't that he wasn't used to seeing sex scenes, but it brought back all the memories of what he'd done with Brendan. He'd imagined it was him that was being fucked hard against the wall, by the protagonist, who's face had altered into Brendans. After it had ended, he'd excused himself to the bathroom, when it looked like he had a cucumber trying to escape through his jeans. Luckily it was dark, so Rae hadn't seen, though she her self looked flushed as fuck. He went into one of the cubicles and tossed himself off clumsy; remembered what it felt like when Brendan was inside of him, he'd come hard and messy on his hands.

Rae had commented about the film as they waited for the bus; he smiled and spoke only few words, his mind still elsewhere. He was startled when she'd kissed him, and he leaned in and kissed her back; it felt warm, but it did nothing to him, it felt nothing compared it felt like kissing Brendan.

They had been broken a part by monstrous sound of roaring engines, interrupting the peaceful silence of the night. Their eyes widened as a gang of more than fifteen motorcyclists came bustling down the road, all dressed in black leather jackets, faces hidden beneath shinny helmets. Rae held onto Ste's arms, frightened. His heart had pounded, even though he wasn't sure, but he remembered that his parents had told him, that Brendan was part of a gang of motorcyclists, but he'd never seen it for himself, till then. It had made him realize then, that he and Brendan were from completely different _worlds,_ one he'd never comprehend, one he'd never belong to.

…

The club was buzzing with pounding music, bar busy with bartenders, serving up chatty customers.

"Thought you didn't like birthday parties?" Danny said smugly as he approached Brendan sat on a stool, drink in hand.

Brendan shrugged, "Trying something new, so to speak," he said sarcastically, and took a sip of his drink, and stood up from his stool, he was tired and wanted to opt out.

"Ah, here comes my favorite boy, didn't think you'd make it," Danny said exuberantly. Brendan turned his head, his body automatically became rigid, eyes widened, heart started pounding, when he saw who it was.

"My shift was over, so I thought I'd just drop by for a bit, but we can't stay long," the boy said, he hadn't come alone. Next to him was a doll face blue eyed blonde, he'd instantly recognized her, from days ago, when he'd saw them at the bus stop, _kissing._

"Brendan, I am sure you remember this lovely lad," Danny said, with a wide smirk, the boy's eyes widened when he noticed him; apparently he hadn't expected to see Brendan there.

"You know him," Rae asked with wide eyes.

"Ummmm, he's Cheryl's brother, remember the mate I told you about," Ste revealed quietly.

"Brendan actually saved his life," Danny said.

Brendan's lips pressed together, knuckles turned white with anger.

Rae's eyes widened, as she looked up at Brendan with admiration, "Oh, really? Ste never said."

His cheek twitched, "It was long ago," he lied, noticed the boy looking at him, nervously.

"Brendan's a humble lad, never takes compliments well, surely Ste knows," Danny said, looking at him, he knew Danny was playing a game.

"Well, am glad Ste met you, or else I wouldn't have him today," she said and wrapped her arm around his, like she owned him, and it boiled Brendan's blood.

"Well, enjoy you'r selves, while I go entertain my guest, drinks are on the house," Danny said and left him with the both of them.

Brendan couldn't help but stare at the boy; hair brushed back, white polo short sleeve shirt with navy stripes, fitted slacks, and loafers, his face glowed in the club light, he looked too beautiful to be real, but he was angry, angry at the fact he was there. His cheek twitched, "Umm..I'll be back," Brendan said, and disappeared through the crowd. He spotted Danny talking to some guy.

"Can I speak to ye, in private?" Brendan asked. Danny told the other man, he'd be back soon, and followed him into the office.

"What ye fucking playing at Danny, why is that chav over here?" he hissed, right in Danny's face.

"I invited him," he said as a simple fact.

"Why the fuck ye do that for?"

"Calm down, Brady," Danny said with a smirk, patting down Brendan's chest, and passed him, "I thought you'd be pleased."

Brendan looked at him confused, "What ye mean?

Danny smirked, "You been pawing me to get you in on the plan, and now here's your chance."

Brendan's brows knitted, his grip loosened.

"How does bringing him here have anything to do with it?"

"The lads bloody naïve as fuck, he thinks am like this charming gentleman, but I am hardly friend material, I need you to get close to him, make him trust you, you've got more reliability and credibility than me."

"I ain't playing anyone's mate," Brendan growled.

"It's just for pretend...till we get to the main course," he drawled and walked around Brendan towards his desk.

"This is a dangerous game Danny…can't ye pick something less risky?"

"Less risky?" Danny snarled, suddenly his tone angry, "I think you've forgotten what you owe me Brady."

"Owe ye? It ended when I fucking got rid of Vinny for ye," he hissed.

Danny chuckled bitterly, "Well, that was part of it, because really, I didn't gain anything from it, so you gonna go out there and do that job, but I mean, if you don't want the _money,_ I am sure one of my other boys will be pleased."

Brendan had never thought of that, if someone else were to do it, that would propose a greater threat, and risk, "Of course I want the money Danny, am just saying, there are other ways we can get it, without getting into trouble we don't need."

Danny laughed, "Trouble, when have you ever," he's interrupted by a knocked on the door.

"Who is it?"

"Danny, some guy named Sam is here to see you," a man said behind the door.

"Send him in."

"Who's Sam?" Brendan asked.

"Just an old mate of mine," Danny replied as he walked towards the door, "Get out there, and don't mess this one up Brady, and don't forget about your report," Danny said and gestured for him to leave the office.

He'd seen the boy stood next to Rae, smiling, and it made his blood boil.

"Can I speak to you?" He startled the boy, almost causing him to spill his drink. The boy looked at him tentatively, then back at Rae, "I'll just be back," he said and stood up, facing Brendan. He looked nervous and beautiful as fuck, hair brushed up; he looked like a smart prep boy.

Rae smiled, "It's fine, I'll be here," she said with a smile.

The boy followed him into the men's restroom, that had only three stalls, when the coast was clear he pulled him in and slammed him against the wall, "What I fucking tell ye, huh? I said stay the fuck away from Danny, and what ye do, ye show ye fucking face here," he hissed, inches away from the boy's face who looked terrified.

"He..he invited me…it's just a party…" he stuttered.

"And when have ye been into parties?" he snarled.

"I..I am not… Rae wanted to come."

"Ye do everything she says huh? Has ye bending back and forward for her, don't she, got ye wrapped around her little finger?" he hissed.

"No…" the boy answered in a low whimper, looking into his eyes. Brendan's gaze trailed to his quivering lips, and he knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help it, he crushed his lips on his, grunting at the initial contact, almost two months since since he'd last seen him, felt like a century. He could taste the fruity drink on his tongue; as he kissed him hard, and pressed his body up against his, his hands slid frantically up the boy's side, while the other gripped his head tightly. The door suddenly opened, he pushed back away from the boy quickly, panting.

"Rae?" the boy had said breathlessly.

Before any of them react Rae ran out the bathroom, Brendan quickly ran after her, gripped her arm, and turned her harshly, before she could make it towards the crowd, "It's not what it looks like," he said desperately, breathing heavily.

"Right, that's why you were snogging his face off!" she yelled, Brendan saw red, he gripped her neck and pressed her against the wall, teeth baring, "I ain't fucking queer," he sneered in her face.

"Brendan let her go!" the boy called out from behind, tried his hardest to pull him back.

"I ain't fucking queer...ye say a word to anyone I'll kill ye…" his warned menacingly, then let go of her neck, she dropped to the ground gasping for air. He turned to leave but Ste gripped his arm, he turned around, glaring, "Don't ye ever touch me again, ye disgust me," he growled, the boy let go of his arm, eyes suddenly moist, and the hurt in his eyes felt like daggers piercing through his chest, but he had no _choice,_ he needed to protect the boy, and him being near him was dangerous in every way, more so a danger to himself. Rae and Ste had left the party instantly, and when Danny asked where they had gone, Brendan lied said Rae had an emergency.

…

He'd almost forgotten about Uni, especially with what had happened with Brendan, two weeks ago at Danny's birthday party. He'd ignored Brendan's call when he'd called him couple days later. Broken by what Brendan had said, he didn't understand, it was Brendan _who_ had kissed him first, so he didn't get what he'd done _wrong._He was hurt and angry, something he'd seldom felt towards others, but that's the thing Brendan wasn't just any _other. _

His Uni application had been accepted, and for the two weeks he'd been getting prepared for Uni. The Uni he'd been accepted to, required freshman and transfer students to reside in dorms for at least the first semester, at first he'd ruled against it, he couldn't see himself living by himself, but his dad had convinced him that perhaps it would be a better choice.

"You won't have to keep taking the bus, and it's safe in the dorms, we can pick you up on the weekends. If you don't like it, you can come back," his dad had said.

His mom was against too at first, didn't want him being alone, where she couldn't see him, but after a week of discussing, she too had come to an agreement. They believed it was something Ste needed to do for himself, allow him to take some responsibility, to learn to live on his own even if it was for a little while, even though he'd been against it, he realized they were right, they were not going to be there for him _always,_ he needed to spread his wings, and learn to take care of himself.

Rae's had been first up, when it was time to move things into his dorm. He'd been lucky enough to convince her that what happened with Brendan had been an accident, something he'd never thought of before, a one off, of course he never told her he slept with him, he never would. She'd been forgiving, not that he needed it, but ever since that _kiss at the bus stop, _she seemed to think they were a couple, and even though, Ste didn't really fancy her like that, he didn't say anything, didn't want to hurt her, didn't want to lose her as a friend, the only friend he had, at least she liked kissing Ste, liked being with him, perhaps he'd learn to like her back, and then he could get over Brendan, once and for all.

His mom, Rae and him, him had gone, and checked out the _campus,_ it wasn't as big as the first Uni he went to, but it seemed neat, Rae and Ste's mom seemed more pleased than he did. His dorm room was on the fourth floor of a large Victorian style brick building, located on the side of the campus. The thought of it being his home for three months was nerve wrecking, but he knew he needed to do this, not only for his parents, but himself.

…

The _devil _inside him was definitely winning; taking over his body and mind, more and more as each day went by, he felt _bitterer._ He wished he could tear away and bury those _sick_ feelings, but there they were lingering above him, like his finger that was lingering above the call button. He hadn't heard from the boy for three weeks, he'd _called_ him days after the club incident, however the boy hadn't picked up; he didn't blame him of course, he'd been a total _asshole, _but needed to know he was _alright,_ and most importantly that bitch Rae, was keeping her mouth shut, though he'd scared her shitless, he knew her kind, they're fickle as fuck, and he couldn't risk that.

He'd been too occupied lately with the Spider Gang situation, and luckily Danny hadn't been on his ass, regarding the boy because of it.

"You're pathetic," he swore to himself, still unable to get himself to call him. He threw his phone on the ground when he'd finally had courage to call the boy, but it had gone _voicemail._

He threw his head back against the couch, and closed his eyes, but his silence had soon been interrupted by a loud buzz, his heart pounded faster, when he'd thought it was _him_, but it was just Danny. He sighed in frustration as he answered, leaning back in his seat, kneading his brows as he spoke in a low tone.

"I've got nothing yet, Trevors gone out of town," he said before Danny could even speak.

Danny chuckled, "Good to know you're always on board, but that's not what am calling you for," he said, sounding bit amused.

"What then?" Brendan asked, kneading his brows in frustration.

"I've got a surprise for you."

"Ye know how I feel about them," Brendan drawled, uninterested.

"I think you're gonna be very pleased with this one. The old ware house, you know which one, go there, you shall see," and before Brendan could respond Danny hung up.

It was in a secluded area, outside of town, in a field of over grown tall grasses that came up to his waist, behind it a dark forest. He stepped off his motorcycle and walked into the ware house, through a broken entrance. There was nothing, but broken pieces of wood, covered in dust and spider webs. He brought out his phone and called Danny.

"This one of your lame attempts at a joke Danny," Brendan growled frustratingly.

"Ahh you made it," Danny answered in amusement.

"Yea, and I ain't fucking surprised."

"I suppose you haven't seen it then?"

"What?" Brendan asked looking around; perhaps he'd missed it somehow.

"Go to the back."

Brendan stepped out, walking around the side and to the back, it's then he'd seen a car, a red Toyota, parked in the gravel,"Ye got me a car, how sweet," he rolled sarcastically, as walked around the care, inspecting it, but there was nothing.

Danny chuckled, "There's a key in the mirror compartment."

Brendan opened the door, and found it, "Ye want me to drive it for ye?" he asked.

"No, open the trunk with it," Danny said sounding bit excited.

Brendan suddenly felt unsettled, he swallowed, as he put the key in the lock and turned it, the trunk made a click sound as it popped open, he lifted it, and his eyes widened, heart pounding, he jumped back, heart pounding, his blonde hair was covered in blood, _lifeless._

…

Ste had stepped out the shower, and changed into his navy blue pajama bottoms with white Eiffel Tower print all over it. While he slipped on his white T shirt, he heard a loud banging. He stood still in his movement, thinking he'd heard wrong, but then he heard it again. His heart pounded in fear, usually if anyone came, they'd ring the door bell; it was usually the mail man or a friend of his parents, which was rare since they'd never come at such a time.

He decided to just stay quiet, hoping whoever it was would leave, but then it continued. He ran towards his window and looked out, but saw no car or anything, nor could he see the porch, since it was covered. His hastily grabbed the phone on his bed, and contemplated on whether he should call the police, but then decided against it, he didn't want to ruin his parents night out, they seldom had time to go out lately, with how busy their work schedule had gotten. He wouldn't call unless it was necessary.

With his phone still in hand, he slowly went down the steps, his heart thumping faster every step he took. Luckily the living room light was not on, or else whoever was behind that door, would've been able to look in and see him. He looked through the peep hole, his eyes widened in shock, heart pounding even faster when he saw who it was. Why was he there? What did he want? He asked himself.

Perhaps he could just ignore it till he left, he'd thought, but then the knocking had continued, he unlocked the three two locks, and with shaky hands he opened it. His eyes widened, when he saw the _state_ of him.

"Brendan," he said with panic, he noticed the blood on corner of his lips, bruise that was forming on his eye, and cut above his brow, before he could ask what was going on, Brendan had pushed him back, slammed the door shut, and threw him against the wall. His was mouth on his animalistic; tongue deep, feverish, and heavy, he could taste the tanginess of his blood on his tongue, mixed with saliva.

He felt breathless, he attempted to push Brendan back, but instead his hands were lifted above his head, while one hand kept them held in a firmly, the other gripped all over his body, feeling up his shirt, like he wanted to claw him. He couldn't help but moan with every touch, he felt powerless with the need. Before he could register anything else, his shirt was pulled over his head, giving him couple seconds to breath before Brendan was on him again, kissing him harder than he'd ever been kissed before.

Everything was a haze; blinded by every sensation, when he felt himself being lifted off the ground in those strong arms, the scent of him was over powering, he'd _missed_ it. He felt his back hit against a hard surface, whatever it was he didn't have time to find out, it didn't really matter. His heart pounded erratically, breath heavy, as Brendan pulled down his loose pajama bottoms, he moaned when he felt his warm and wet mouth on his cock, sucking him, hard, felt his wet tongue twirling around him, driving him insane, Brendan sounded deprived, and hungry with the sounds he made as he swallowed him. Ste'd never felt anything like it, the pleasure was so intense, he had to hold onto the table to keep him self from trembling with it. Brendan's grip on his hip was firm, as he relentlessly, took him hole, slurping and sucking, licking.

Ste knew he wouldn't last long so he attempted to push Brendan's head away, "Bren...am...am.." but Brendan was relentless and kept sucking him, he buckled and released hard into his mouth, panting.

He watched as Brendan pulled back, and wiped his mouth, red and slick with cum. He looked so hot. He laid there bare back on the table panting and saw Brendan open his belt hastily staring at him with dark eyes, lips hanging, he looked fucking hungry, and so fucking hot. He didn't have time to even speak, as Brendan lifted his legs, his heart began to beat faster and faster.

...

It's breath taking how beautiful and filthy the boy looks laid bare before him, on the expensive wooden table, his golden slim frame, painted by the yellow light emitting from the crystal chandelier, hung above the dining room.

He widens the boys legs, spits on his hand and parts his cheeks, for the first time he's seen the boy's pink hole so clearly in a bright light. He thumbs his hole, loosening the muscles. He adds more spit to further open him up, his heart pounds and breath heavy in anticipation.

Lifts one of his thighs, spit some more on his hand and smears it on his entrance. Lines himself, moans at the contact of skin on skin; feels so wet and hot, he rubs the head of his cock against his spit slicked hole, and taps at it, watches in fascination as the boys pink hole spreads open as the head of his cock is swallowed by his tight muscles, groans with it, the pleasure so intense he feels he could come at that instant.

The boy gasps in pain, when he reaches the brim, he strokes his thigh as he pushes in deeper, knows the boy can handle it. Takes both his legs and put them over his shoulder and pushes in all the way, holds there for a few seconds, then pulls out a little and pushes back, in all the way, and begins thrusting into him, grunting and cursing as he pounds the boys sweet spot,

"Ahhh...fuck...god," he curses through his moans as he pounds into the boy relentlessly, eliciting delicious moans from his sweet mouth that are sinfully parted in ecstasy. He leans over him, bending him in half, grips his head and kisses him hard, as sloppily, swapping his saliva with his, as he pounds into him, deep, the sound of his balls slapping against the boys ass, the heat and tightens of him, drives him crazy, it's all too much, so _good,_ so amazing.

With each thrust his movements become fiercer, heavy; he can feel it they aren't going to last long. He reaches between them and grabs the boys cock, tossing him of furiously as he picks up speed, harder, faster, and deeper. Their mouths remain together parted, but unmoving, inhaling one another's breaths. Suddenly his movements are stopped when he hears a sound, he turns his head hastily, he notices the door handle moving.

...


	11. Chapter 11

Hey my lovelies! I APOLOGIZE for such a LATE delay. These past months have been hectic and filled with unexpected things. But as I promised, I will still finish the fic, no matter how long it takes, but I will try my best to not take too long. Anyways I won't blabber on, here's the next chapter, if you're still reading! ^_^. LOVE YOU GUYS! And those who review THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Keeps me motivated to keep writing when I have none left! You're the best! :D

**...**

**Chapter 11 **

**...**

On impulse, he headed to the boy's home, after a drug operation had gone astray, and ended up in an unexpected fight. They had dispersed when the echo of sirens were heard in the distance.

He hid his motorcycle between bushes, away from the premises of the house. For a moment the reality of his impetuous decision, had dawned on him, but then a light within the house had flickered on, and he saw his _slender silhouette_.

A voice in his head kept telling him how _desperate_ and _insane_, he was, but he'd ignored it, and slowly crept up the driveway, looking over his shoulder in fear of being caught, like he was some _criminal._ He pounded on the door like a mad man, ignoring the fact that the boy's parents could be home, but at that moment _logic_ ceased to matter.

The instant the boy opened the door, it was like he was blinded by his presence, and before the boy could finish his sentence he had him against the wall, kissing him into submission. Amidst the pleasure of fucking him on the dinning table, a sound at the door, brought him to a halt, forcing him to pull out of the boy without warning. He spouted profanity through his teeth, as he pulled up his jeans hastily, and escaped down a narrow hallway despite not knowing where it led. Though still naked, the boy had followed suit seconds later, his clothes hurdled in his arm.

"In there, in there," he said, pointing to an open door, that happened to be a bathroom suite that was perhaps twice as big Brendan's own bedroom. However, he hadn't the time to marvel over it, as his attention was on the state of the boy who looked terrified, trying to figure out what to do.

"STE?" his mom called out, as she approached the bathroom.

"Am taking a shower mom!" he shouted back, and quickly rushed towards the shower, almost tripping on a floor mat in result, and turned the shower on. Brendan would've laughed at the boy if not for the seriousness of the situation.

"Please go," he pleaded faintly, as he pushed him towards the window, mouthing _please go._ Brendan pushed up the window, looked out, making sure there wasn't anything dangerous in his way, last thing he needed was freak accident resulting in death in a time he least wanted or expected it. He could imagine in his head what would be written in his obituary if one was ever written for him: _died from jumping out of a window on the first floor like a moron._

He looked back at the boy whose faced was painted in worry, he smiled at him in reassurance before he climbed onto the ledge and _jumped._

…

Ste pressed away from the wall breathing heavily.

"Everything alright?" his mom asked knocking on the door, after he'd failed to respond the first time.

"I am fine, mom, almost done!" he said, and quickly went into the shower.

"Do you need anything?"

"No…I got everything," he said as he washed himself in a hurry, and got back into his pajamas in no time.

"Your back early?" he said as he approached the kitchen, combing his fingers through his wet hair.

"Your dad had to go back to the restaurant."

"Something happen?" he asked as opened the fridge, grabbed a cold bottle of water, and jugged it down, it helped cool his body that was still recovering after the _heat_ it had gone through.

"Something's wrong with the furnace, but it's nothing your dad can't handle," she said, as she put on some tea and asked if he wanted any.

"No, thanks, waters good," he said as he walked towards the dining room. He swallowed nervously, when he noticed the dining table had shifted; he looked over his shoulder, making sure his mom was not looking as he quickly shifted it back to its position but then spotted a wet stain on the wood which he'd quickly wiped off with the sleeve of his shirt, and with his foot adjusted the carpet beneath the table, where he then spotted a set of _keys, _and they weren't his.

"Um, mom, I am gonna take a step outside for a moment, feel bit stuffy," he called out to his mom who was still busy in the kitchen.

"Alright!" she replied back.

He ran down the driveway, looking in every direction, calling out Brendans name quietly, there was no sign of him. But then a hand had suddenly grabbed him from behind, and pulled him. The only thing he could make out was Brendan's electric blue eyes, and the sheen of his motorcycle, "I...I though you'd left," Ste claimed breathlessly, as his heart pounded in his chest. Brendan was definitely going to give him an heart attack one day, he presumed.

"I called ye," Brendan said in a low tone, his breath hot against Ste's face.

"Sorry, my phone was not with me," he reached into his pocket and handed him his keys, he felt the electric current run through his body just with the slight contact of his skin,"I gotta now," he said quickly, but Brendan pulled him by the wrist, gripped his waist and _kissed_ him. He wanted nothing more to do than keep kissing Brendan, but he knew he couldn't, so he pulled back, panting, "Brendan… I… I gotta…go-" his tone wavered, as Brendan gaped at him deeply, making him feel hot all over again though it was cold out.

"About last time," Brendan began quietly, his tone serious, "I am s-" but he was interrupted by Ste's mom calling out for him, her tone frantic and worried.

"Sorry, I gotta go…" he quickly pulled back, and ran out before Brendan could finish his sentence.

Her eyes widened when she saw him walking up the driveway, "I thought something happened," his she claimed in a worried tone.

"Sorry, I just went for a little walk," he lied.

She let out a heavy sigh of relief, "You alright, you look bit peachy?"

"I am fine," he said with a smile, to reassured her.

Ste glanced over his shoulder, before they went inside.

Laid on his front on his bed, pen in hand, he flipped to an empty page in his _diary._

_August 26, 2017 -_

_It's weird, writing in this, you know. I feel stupid, I've never heard of a boy writing in a diary, even if there are, I am sure they are ashamed to admit it, like I am. But I can't help it, it's only place I can really talk, say what I want to say, without worrying about anyone judging me, or looking at me like I am some kind of freak. But that's the thing, I've always felt like that, but that's somewhat changed - I don't feel like that anymore I think, at least not all the time, not like I used to think. He makes me forget it -BRENDAN- he makes me forget that I am not normal. He makes me feel that I might actually be worth something, makes me feel wanted. I've never felt that way before, I mean I know my parents love me, and want me, but it's a different kind of love and want. Today - I've never felt a mix of so many emotions at the same time. It happened so fast, I had no time to react, or the chance to ask him what happened, he was hurt, but that didn't seem to matter to him, that's the thing though. Brendan - he's strong, unlike me. I was scared of being caught, because I don't know what my parents would think of me. I think it would destroy them, I can't do that to them, I've hurt them enough as it is, the last thing they need to know is that their son is - I don't know even know what I am, all I know I have these feeling for a man, feelings for Brendan that I can't stop no matter what I say, do, or think. _

_I can't stop - I don't think I want it to, he replaces my nightmares with dreams of him, and though I wake up alone, it's better than waking up scared. He's in my head constantly, and I let him, because he takes that darkness away. I mean it still lingers, probably always will be, but he makes me forget it. I feel alive when I am with him. When he kisses me, I feel like I am not in this world, some place I knew existed, a place I want to stay in for eternity if possible. My mind is consumed of only him, and that moment, when we're together, our bodies connected, like I never imaged. I know I shouldn't say it, but I love it when he handles me roughly, and fucks me hard, not worried he's going to break me, doesn't treat me like am a weak doll, even though I am, he makes me feel strong. And then outside, when I went to go give him his keys, when he pulled me to him, and kissed me, I felt like I wanted to melt in his arms. I don't know why, but it felt different, his kisses are all amazing, but that one, I don't know - it was gentle, and tender, like his tongue was speaking to me, cliche I know, but my heart pounded so fast I thought I'd faint. I could feel his heart pulse against my wrist, and it was fast, perhaps just as fast as mine, I don't know what that means, perhaps I do, but am to afraid to say it, because I am afraid I am imagining it, all I know is, I feel something for him, something I've never felt for anyone, and its not just when we're having sex, but even when he just talks to me, looks at me, or even just stands next to me, he makes my heart race, I don't know if that's normal, or happens to everyone else, but that's what he does to me. He makes me feel like I am on fire when he's next to me, touching me, and then when he leaves, I am left feeling cold, and all I want to do, is wrap myself in something and hope it can replace his warmth. But I am overreacting aren't I?__ It's just all in my head, isn't it? It must be, because what I am feeling right now doesn't feel real._

…

It wasn't as if he'd never seen a dead body before; he'd seen more than he'd like. But it was who he'd thought it _was,_ that made him vomit till his throat burned.

He had to look away, till he gathered himself, before he forced himself to take a _closer _look. His dirty blonde hair was painted with blood, and skinny frame, lifeless in the back of the trunk. If there was a time in his life that he was _grateful _for_,_ it was at that moment - it wasn't him, it was that kid _Vinny. _

Though he disliked the kid, he'd felt bad, he hadn't wanted him to be murdered in such a cruel way, if he wanted him dead he could've killed him rather than given him another chance to leave town, but unfortunately Danny had found him, and left Brendan to do the dirty _work._ He knew he had no choice, so he torched the car, and sped off on his motorcycle, as a loud blast echoed in the night behind him.

That night he'd been marred by a taunting nightmare, that made his blood run _cold_. He couldn't get it out of his head.

_He was in the trunk, laid on his back, staring up at him with cold blue eyes, blood covering his lifeless body - it wasn't Vinny._

Like a ticking bomb, he couldn't help but feel like it was some kind of _warning,_ telling him to stop it all before the_ meter clicks. _But it wasn't as easy as he _manipulated_ himself to believe. If anything, he wanted the boy more than ever before, and it _scared_ him.

On the bright side of things, Danny's focus had shifted to him number one enemy, _Trevor Royal. _Meant he didn't have to worry about Danny running into the boy, at least not till Trevor was dealt with, and he knew that wasn't going to be easy. Trevor wasn't like previous threats they got rid of.

"We've lost our buyers because apparently, Trevor is selling them _something_ we don't have, and I want to know what it is," Danny demanded.

It wasn't hard tracking Trevor down, not with all the connections Brendan had, some even Danny was yet to know of.

Trevor's his empire consisted of a brick building, located in the outskirts of some decrepit neighborhood. He had to get through two muscle marries who guarded a rustic gate, surrounded the building.

"I am here to see Trevor," he'd said as they glared him down in suspicion.

"What's your name?"

"Brendan Brady," he said thickly, one thing he never did, was never lie about his name, _ever._

He'd been searched from head to toe, before he was allowed in, and then searched again before heading through a metal door, and then up an old elevator shaft.

It wasn't what he'd expected, when he saw him face to face. He was younger than Danny, but not as intimidating as he'd thought, based on Danny's hysteria and non-stop ranting.

However, Trevor seemed to have his own judgment about him. He scanned him down with his eyes, with his hands folded together, "So you're the one, my boy David Costello was talking about?" David Costello was Trevor's top dog, his hand man so to speak; he didn't know him till a man he used to deal with mentioned him, and informed him he worked for Trevor.

"In the flesh," he quipped, not too sure if Trevor was the kind of guy that understood sarcasm, unlike Danny.

Trevor opened the drawer of his wooden desk, and placed a bag of crystal meth on the table.

"How do I know this is quality stuff?"

"Try it, and you will see."

Brendan raised a brow, "I buy them, not snort them, I already look high as it is."

Trevor let out a throaty laughter, "You got humor, I'll give you that," he said, as he sat up straight, "Show him," he said to one of his men stood behind him. Brendan watched as one of them smashed the crystal into dust and snorted it up the nose, the effect magical.

"I'll take a sample," he drawled.

"A proper business man as well," Trevor commented, "Two thousand pounds for five grams."

Brendan looked up at him like he was insane.

"You won't find this stuff anywhere else, I guarantee you."

"Alright, I'll take it," there was no time for bargaining.

Danny's eyes had widened when Brendan tossed the bag of crystal meth towards him. A rare kind, _glass_ like, one that gets you so high, you think you are on fucking _cloud ninety_, as Danny put it.

"If he keeps selling this, we're fucking doomed. I need you to get in deeper, find out how he gets this shit."

…

"It's just for a semester," Ste said to his mom, who pranced around his dorm room, making sure all the furniture were set accordingly to her taste.

"I want you to feel like you're at home," she responded, a satisfied smile drawn to her lips, as she patted down the creases of his navy Egyptian silk bed covers.

"I've heard that many students get sick in dorms, due to lack of hygiene," she added. Ste knew there was no point in arguing; she was going to do as she pleased.

"Don't forget to call us if you need anything, and don't forget to lock your door," she said as she got ready to leave.

"I won't."

She placed a chaste kiss on his cheek, "Love you."

"Love you too," he said, and waved goodbye as she left.

He sat on his bed, and looked at his dorm room that looked more like a mini suite than a regular college dorm room. He sighed as he opened his laptop and looked over his class schedule - he had six classes. He started to understand the reason why it was mandatory for freshman's and transfer students to stay in the dorm for at least the first semester.

For the first two weeks, his mom called him constantly, sometimes three times a day; bombarding him with questions; _how is this, how is that, are the students nice, are you comfortable, do you eat, do you want something, are the professors nice, are you sick? _

His dad had even called him, apologizing for his mom constantly calling, and he'd tell them to not worry, that everything was fine. He wasn't lying though, everything was fine, besides that fact, his face was stuck in books, after books, the work rigorous.

He wasn't used to be cooped up in a small room for hours, but it was where he felt more comfortable. But he really missed being home, missed his mom's food, missed breakfast, missed watching his dad almost choke on his orange juice in a rush to get to work, missed the smell of their morning coffee, and tea at night, but most of all just missed being in his own bed.

The thought dawned on him, what would he do without his parents? Who would support him if something happened to them, they were all he had.

That's why he didn't understand Rae, when she told him she'd moved out her parent's home when she began her sophomore year. He hadn't heard from her since.

There was one thing constantly on his mind, though, regardless of how busy he was - _Brendan_. He hadn't seen him in a month since that last time, but it felt like a year in his head.

Especially at _night, alone in his dorm room, _when complete silence would take over. He'd close his eyes and imagine Brendan there with him, on his small bed, touching him, kissing him, his hot breath against his neck, and ear, as he speaks to him in that thick, smooth Irish accent of his that makes the hair on his body stand in excitement. He'd call his name, as he'd come, after tossing himself, whenever his fantasies took over. It had become a regular occurrence ever since the first time he'd slept with Brendan. But reality would hit, when he'd open his eyes, and he'd find himself alone in his room.

…

The motorcycles roared ravenously in synch, as they surrounded Brendan, circling him, as he stood firm, dressed in black from head to toe, in middle of an abandoned underground parking lot. Eventually they halted.

"Didn't think you were coming," Trevor drawled, as he got off his motorcycle.

"I had a chat with my boys here, and they don't seem so keen, on letting you in so easily."

They were glaring at him like an outsider, like wanting to _kill._

"I don't expect to," Brendan replied, gaping back at them, with the same intensity.

"Well then, we shall start with the first test," Trevor announced, with a smirk. With a snap of a finger, a bald man, decked with tattoos, built like a _brick-shit house_ stepped off his motorcycle, and joined him in the inner circle. He had two inches on Brendan, but not anything he hadn't already dealt with before.

Brendan slipped off his jacket and threw it on the ground, he rolled his shoulders, and cracked his neck. He let him have the first punch; it helped fuel his adrenaline.

Trevor and the rest of his gang, watched on intensely as fight intensified. Brendan had to give it to the baldy, though, he was aggressive and strong, but it just made him bouncy with excitement - he loved a good _challenge_. Soon, it became a mess of heavy thuds, punches, wrestling, tossing, throwing, and groans, but then the fight had taken a different _turn_, when a blade was thrown into the mix.

The other guy had been quicker for the grab, and dashed towards him, slicing his arm, before he could jump back. The guy dashed at him again, but he dodged, and with immense force, decked him in the neck, he fell backwards in a heap. He'd been prepared to make another move, but the guy never got back up.

…

There was one girl in his literature class, Stacy. She had this firey red curly hair, pale skin; she reminded him of Cheryl, though she looked younger. He'd catch her gaze on him often, she'd respond with a sweet smile.

She wasn't as shy as he first thought, quite the contrary, "Doug's is the most pathetic character ever, like who the fuck proposes to a person they know still loves their ex," Stacey voiced, when the professor asked the class to engage in a discussion regarding a book they were assigned to read; _Second Best._

"At least Doug's not some monster that chops up bodies," another had argued.

"One body, to be precise," she rolled her eyes; "And Brian did it for Stephanie's sake."

"Doesn't matter, he's a psycho," another blurred out.

"I never said he wasn't, but he does everything for a reason, he'd do anything for Stephanie - would Doug take a bullet for her?" she asked bitterly.

"He was never put in that situation," another added.

She rolled her eyes, "Pshh…he couldn't even save himself from an old granny if he had too."

He couldn't help but chuckle at that. He really admired how she stuck up for what she believed, regardless of the entire class being against her.

"I think there is a reason behind Brian's darkness, I don't think he wants to be the way he is," Ste had finally given his opinion, when Mr. Jones asked what he thought.

"Oh don't worry I am not hitting on you," Stacy had said, with a smirk, when she asked Ste if he wanted to join her for lunch.

"I already have a girlfriend."

That was one thing he had not expected. He'd eventually agreed to go to lunch with her, and it didn't take long before she introduced her girlfriend _Ronny._ He was surprised how sweet, kind and laid back she actually was despite her rough appearance; short brown hair and hazel eyes, and was about an inch taller than him. She dressed in T-shirts, and jeans. He admired how free spirited they were, never caring about what anyone thought of them.

They become his lunch and dinner buddies. He usually avoided the cafeteria, didn't like how crowded it got, but with them, he didn't mind. They always sat in the corner of the cafeteria next to the window. "Means sacrifice in Japanese," Ronny said, when Ste asked what her tattoo on her wrist, meant.

"I am planning on getting one," Stacy said.

"What are you getting?" he asked curiously.

"It's a surprise, do you have any?" she asked.

He shook his head, "No..."

"Your a pig," Stacy blurted, when Ronny somehow managed to get spaghetti sauce all over her mouth, and shirt.

"Oi, no am not," Ronny remarked back, with her mouth full. Ste couldn't help smile, it reminded him of the first time he'd seen Brendan eat. It brought back the memories of when he was in class with him, though only for a short time, he missed Brendan sauntering into class, like he didn't give a fuck, gave him those looks, that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up, missed Brendan texting and hassling him to get his work done for him, missed his hot breath against his ear when he'd lean in and say something to him behind his desk.

"So anyone special in your life?" he almost choked on his food when Stacy suddenly asked him, in the midst of his thoughts.

He swallowed hard, "No," he said quietly.

"Oh come on, bloke gorgeous like you, bet you got girls gagging for ya left and right," Ronny claimed.

"Or is it a bloke?" Stacy said, quietly, with a mischievous grin. Ste's cheeks had colored without warning, "Oh my god, it is, isn't it?"

He wanted to deny it.

"Who is it?" she asked, leaning forward all giddy, Ronny had stopped eating, she too eager.

"No one really, just a bloke I knew from school," he replied in a quiet tone, not really looking at them.

Stacy grinned widely, "And so, did you…you know…" she raised her brows in suggestion. He automatically turned beet root, giving them an answer, without speaking. Their mouth had gaped open.

"When do we get to meet this bloke?" Ronny asked in excitement, grinning. Ste looked around, paranoid, that people were staring at him, but they weren't.

"We're not together," he admitted quietly, the disappointment in his tone obvious. They frowned, "Did you guys break up?"

He shook his head, "No…we…we were never together."

"Ohhhh," Stacy drawled, "So was it just sex then?"

He swallowed, "I…I don't know…" he was staring aimlessly at his fingers.

"So, did you at least fancy each other?"

Ronny glared at Stacy like she was a moron, "Of course they fancied, each other if they had sex."

Stacy rolled her eyes, "You know what I mean, as in, _really _fancy each other, wanting to be together, like _us_."

"I don't know how I even handle you at times," she quipped. Ronny impishly jabbed her side with her elbow, "Oi that hurt!"

"Did you want to be with him?" Ronny asked, ignoring Stacy's whining.

He nodded lightly, he couldn't believe he was admitting it to them, he could barely admit it to himself, but perhaps he believed, if anyone would understand, it would be them.

"Awe, babe…I am sorry," Stacy said, reaching out her hand to him in comfort.

"Tell me who that bastard is, I'll go wring his bloody neck for you!" Ronny sneered, as she pounded her fist against her palm imitating what she'd do. Ste smiled slightly, he shook his head, "He's…he's not you know…" he didn't say the word but they understood.

"If that shit got his dick inside of you, then he's gay." Stacy's remarked bluntly, making him color, in embarrassment.

"He must be a closet case, the kind of shit you don't wanna deal with," Ronny added distastefully.

"Forget the bastard, there's plenty of other blokes out there, that would die to have a piece of your gorgeous ass," Stacy said, Ronny nodded in agreement.

…

_Superman - that was his favorite childhood hero, he wanted to be him. Every year during Halloween he'd watch kids dress up as their favorite super hero's or whatever they desired. However, he wasn't that every other kid._

_"Dress up is for little girls," his dad sneered, when he'd asked if he could get a superman costume for Halloween. One day his dad left to work, at the time, he was still too young to go to work with him. _

_He'd taken his worn out blue blanket and tied it around his tiny neck, and pretend to be superman. Cheryl was home, he bribed her with candy, to play a damsel in distress, so that he could save her from evil people. But his dad had caught him in the act. He grabbed him by the arm and ordered him to his room, and then night came crawling, and his powers diminished as he was forced to surrender to evil itself._

_"This is your punishment," he sneered in his ear as he pinned his wrists down to his bed, and took all his power away. He knew then, Superman wasn't real, and he hated him, because he hadn't saved him that night, and every night after that. _

"It's just a fucking party with dimwitted college students dressed up in cheap costumes, not the fucking slaughter house," Danny growled when Brendan decided against going to a stupid Halloween party to collect drug money.

Apparently due to the lack of buyers, one of the members had suggested to Danny, that they sell the drugs to college students, they used to do it a lot in the earlier years, but due to the risk of being caught, Danny had put a halt to it, but at the moment they were desperate.

The party was held in an old Victorian House. It smelt like a mixture of alcohol, cheap perfume and candles. The loud music and the sound of annoying college students made him want to pop his ear drums just so he wouldn't have to hear them.

He'd been there for at least an hour, collected more than one thousand quid's. But he kept himself away from the mess, stood next a fake skeleton, near a dark corner that no one had yet infested. He'd almost been mistaken for a real cop with his uniform, but his _Michael Myers_ mask gave it away. Some girls looked at him in wonder, flirtatious smirks on their lips, asking who he was. But he ignored them, and kept his eye on the time, waiting for the night to be over.

As the night grew, more students had poured in. He began to understand why _Michael Myers_ went on a _killing spree_, because at that moment he wanted to do the same.

He'd thought he was imagining things, when he saw a boy from the side that looked like _Steven._ He was dressed as an_ 80's biker boy. _It wasn't till he turned around, that he realized it really was him. He wasn't alone though, he was stood there with two girls.

He watched like a creeper, as they dragged him to the dance floor. One was dressed as cow boy, another as Pocahontas. He was sandwiched in-between them as they danced and laughed around him. The boy was attempting to dance, but epically failed, but Brendan couldn't help think how cute he looked despite it.

But that didn't make a difference with how he felt seeing him with those _girls._ When had he become social, and not shy? He thought to himself, and for some reason, he didn't like it, he didn't like that other people had their attention on him. He tugged at his collar, to keep himself from over heating with _jealously._ Something he'd never felt towards _anyone,_ or anything.

His purpose of being there had altered; his focus on the boy's every move. He'd waited for the right time, when the boy was alone, sipping on bottled water. He walked through the dense crowd, and appeared behind him, startling the boy.

"Come with me," he whispered hotly into his ear, gripped his wrist, and pulled him through the crowd without giving the boy a chance to even respond.

He navigated quickly through a mess of students, ignoring the boy's plea to let him go. He spotted a small vacant bathroom, down a narrow hallway lit with pumpkin lights. He pulled the boy in without a word, slammed the door shut, and locked it. He pulled off his mask, before pressing the boy against the wall.

"Brendan?" the boy said in shock, eyes wide open.

"Never had ye down as the party type," Brendan growled in breathy tone, his face inches away from his.

The boy swallowed, "I...I..am not...I only came because my mates wanted me to."

"Ye do everything they say?" he asked, his tone slightly bitter.

The boy shook his head in response, "No…" he said quietly, his lips in a pout.

Brendan couldn't take it, he gripped the boys head, and invaded his mouth with his hot, and heavy tongue, causing the boy to weaken at the knees. He pressed his body up against him, forcing moans from both of them as their groins began to harden under pressure. With his free hand, he felt up under his shirt, gripping at his smooth flesh, as he kissed him deeper, while the boy's hands also clawed at his back.

He pulled back breathless and hastily unzipped the boy's chain belt and zipper, and pulled down his pants. He turned him around, spit on his finger, and glided his finger down the boys crack and rubbed over his entrance. The boy gasped when he pushed one finger in, and then added another, stretching him open.

He pulled his trousers passed his ass, and lubed his hard cock with his saliva, parted the boys cheeks, rubbed the head over his hole till it paved way for him, and then pushed in gradually till he was fully in. He held onto his hips tightly, as he thrust into his tight hole, eliciting a mixture of cries, and moans from the boy.

He turned his head in a neck straining position and kissed him sloppily with all tongue, and spit, as he plumaged harder into him. It didn't take long before the boy came hard in his hands, and seconds later he followed, groaned like a wounded animal as he violently released inside of him.

He rested his head on the boys back, till they both came down from the high, then he pulled out, and handed the boy tissue to clean him self. He couldn't help but stare at him, as he zipped up. He looked flushed and fucked as hell, his 80's hair do, had become a mess, lips bruised, eyes like _glass._ He wanted to ask him why he was so fucking beautiful, but instead he combed his fingers through the boy's hair, still soft, despite the product it contained. He trailed his hand over his jaw lightly, down to his neck, and gripped the collar of his black jacket, "this real leather?" he asked in a low tone.

"I…I don't know...it's not mine."

"Not ye's?" he asked tensely.

"My...mate, she let me barrow it, I didn't have any costumes," the boy explained.

Brendan's face softened, "It suits ye," he paused, just staring at the boy, "When ye going home?"

"I…I am not…I live in the dorms right now."

Brendan brows rose in surprise, "Oh…ye parents okay with that?"

"Why wouldn't they?"

Brendan shook his head lightly, "No reason, just didn't think they wanted to let go of their little boy."

"I am not a little boy," the boy said with a pout.

Brendan smirked and with back of his fingers felt over his smooth cheek, "That right?" he bit his lips, "Come to mine tonight," the words came out without warning. The boy looked surprised.

"I…can't, I am going home."

"When ye returning?"

"Tomorrow."

"What time?"

"I…I dunno, probably after dinner."

"Alright, then tomorrow, I'll pick ye up at ye dorm, what ye say?"

The boy looked in thought before he nodded.

Brendan smirked, as he leaned in, but his phone buzzed. He reached into his back pocket.

"Fuck," he cursed.

"What is it?" the boy asked worriedly.

"It's nothing…" he put his phone back, and let out a heavy sigh.

"I gotta go now," he said, and put on his mask, "make sure ye don't drink anything anyone gives ye, it could be drugged," he warned before he left.

…

"Some costumers have been asking for you," his dad said with a smile, as he took a bit of his Italian pasta.

"Who?" Ste asked curiously.

"Some ladies," his dad winked, "and this guy...I didn't see him but Lienne told me he came the other week, and apparently he said he only eats here, if you cook the food," he said with a grin.

"Because our boy is the best Chef," his mom complimented giving Ste a soft rub on the back.

"Oh…that's probably Danny," Ste replied, he hadn't seen him since he'd stopped working at the restaurant.

"Is he a mate?" his mom asked as she padded down her red lips.

"No just a regular costumer, he's very nice though."

"Any plans for tonight?" his dad asked.

Ste swallowed his food before he spoke, "Just some studying for this exam I have for Tuesday."

He waved them goodbye as they drove off, after dropping him back at his dorm. He sauntered back to his dorm and, lied down on his bed feeling guilty that he lied to his parents. He had no _exam._ He couldn't tell them the truth; that he was planning on meeting Brendan. He began to think Brendan had bluffed, and just said it in that moment, because he hadn't yet called or texted him. He hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep until the buzz of his phone woke him up. He automatically sat up; it was a text from Brendan.

…

"Ye had a Halloween party in here too?" Brendan had said as he observed the mess in the club, from the night before.

"I make a lot of money on Halloween, and I hope you did too," he replied, staring at a manila envelope in Brendan's hand.

"That's all?" Danny asked, as he counted the money.

"What did ye expect; it's a party with college idiots, not drug dealers."

Danny chuckled bitterly. "Yea…" he let out a heavy breath, as he tapped the metal arms of his seat.

"So…what ye gonna do about the rest?"

Danny leaned his head back against his seat, "Don't worry your pretty head Brady, you just worry about Trevor, I'll be handling the rest from here," he drawled with his eyes closed, his tone calm.

Brendan was more than happy to leave Danny to whatever he was doing, because at that moment, his mind was occupied on something else. He stood next to his motorcycle ready to text that boy but his phone rung. It was Trevor, he wanted to meet up with him alone, and he sounded fucking adamant.

"Fucking hell," he swore as he hung up.

They met up at the underground parking lot where the fight had taken place. He was aware that Trevor was onto something, even though he had no clue what, he was itching in suspense.

"You really know how to play a game," Trevor drawled as he got off his motorcycle.

"I am not really into games, I like Mario brothers but that's about it," Brendan replied back snarkly.

Trevor let out a throaty laughter, "Did you ever win?"

"I am a master at it," Brendan drawled.

Trevor nodded, "Well then, I assume you must be a master at this game you playing now."

Brendan bit his bottom lip, and sauntered closer to Trevor, head bended down, "And what game would that be he?" he asked, and looked up at Trevor, his head cocked slightly.

"The only way to kill the player is by knowing their weakness, otherwise there is no way of really taking them down," Trevor said, ignoring Brendan's questions as he too started walking towards.

Brendan cocked his head, his eyes wide open, unblinking as he stared at the man intensely.

"Luckily I don't have one, however-" Trevor drawled, stood in front of Brendan, looking up at him, then pointed to his chest, "unfortunately I can't say the same for you."

Brendan's gaze went from his face to his finger, ready to break it if Trevor did not move it. But instead he let out a chilling laughter that echoed in the parking lot, throwing Trevor off.

"Really? And what would that be?"

Trevor reached into his pocket, and brought out his phone.

Brendan's heart began to pound, his fists tightened, his lips pressed together, upturned into a cold- chilling smile.

"I don't even know who that is," Brendan sneered, attempting to hide the quiver in his tone.

Trevor raised his brows, "Not according to one of my boys."

Brendan just stared at him, unflinching, but his entire body was shaking in nerves.

"Maybe I need to make my self more clear, I've had one of my boys following you these pasty four days - I _know_ everything."

"Whatever ye think ye know, it means nothing, that boy, he's nothing to me, just a pathetic college student that's done some dealings for me in the past."

Trevor chuckled, "Yea…I am _sure_ about that," he remarked sarcastically, "Like I said this game is not going to work with me, but lucky for you I am a forgiving guy, I will give you another chance."

Brendan sniffed, "Oh…really?" he asked in a calm tone, like he hadn't been fazed by anything Trevor told him.

"Get rid of Danny Houston for me, and I will forget everything else."

…

Faint voices are heard from afar, but the words are incoherent. He lifts his neck, but it feels stiff, the ache overbearing. He opens his eyes; he begins to panic when he sees nothing but complete darkness. He tries to move, but to no avail, his limbs are restrained. He tries to scream, but he can't.

"He's awake," an unknown male voice says.

His body begins to tremble in fear. Suddenly he feels something being pulled off his head. A bitter chill whips across his face. His vision is blurry when he opens his eyes. There are three dark figures, covered from head to toe in black. One lowers, his heart pounds in utter terror when the guy glides down a gun against his cheek, "Such a pretty face," the remarks in a chilling tone.

He turns his head away, whimpering. The guy stands up laughing, and then joins the other two stood by what looks like a wooden door. He looks around himself, but its dark, he's sat on a dirt ground, wearing his burgundy sweater, and corduroyed pants, a outfit he'd planned before Brendan was supposed to come pick him up, but he never had, because something had grabbed him from behind, he was unable to struggle, because his vision faded to black, and now here he was, in a filthy, cold unfamiliar place.

It brings back the dark memories of when his step dad Terry used to lock him in the cold basement.

"STE!"

His looks up, his eyes widen, heart pounds frantically; his dad is stood there, held at gun point, face painted in utter terror.

"Count it," one of the masked men says, handing a suitcase to the other.

"It's all there I swear, even more, its 260,000 pounds, so please, just let him go," his dad pleads desperately.

"I am afraid we can't do that."

"You…promised! I'll get you more if that's you want! So please, just let him go, he's only twenty one, he's done nothing wrong, please…I beg you!" his dad cries out. Tears fall down his face; he's never seen his dad like this, lowering himself to anyone's mercy. He hates himself, he wishes he'd never existed, because all he's ever done is brought trouble, and misery to his parents. He doesn't feel he deserves them, maybe his step dad Terry was right all along, he is useless and is nothing but trouble. He deserved the punishment; why else would all this still be happening to him, even though Terry was long gone. Tears strolls down his face as he looked at his dad helplessly.

"Tie him up," one orders, ignoring his dad's pleas and begging.

"NO! PLEASE! NO! I swear on my sons life we won't say anything, we'll move, you will never have to see us again, just please let us go!" his dad keeps pleading, as he's pushed further into the warehouse.

Ste starts struggling in his confinements, trying to shout and cry out but to no avail. He halts when he see's a struggle between his dad and the three men. He watches in terror, unable to do anything, he tries to focus his attention on is dad, but his vision isn't good, he doesn't have his glasses on, and its dark, the only light is the moon light peering through the entrance of what looks like a warehouse.

All of a sudden a gun goes off; his heart beats frantically as tries to figure out what just happened.

"Get up!" his eyes widen, his dad stands up, and pointing a gun at two of the masked men, while one is laid on the ground unmoving.

"Put your hands up!" he demands aiming the gun at them, as they stand up cautiously, "Move!"

But then suddenly one of them pushes the other one into in dad, knocking the gun out of his hand. His dad heads for the gun, but he is tackled down, while the other masked man grabs the suit case and dashes out of the warehouse.

Ste looks on in horror as his dad struggles with the other man, both trying to reach for the gun. He can't tell who's on top of who, when the gun goes off. His heart sinks in fear, both laid there in silence, on top of each other. But then his dad moves, and pushes off the guy on top of him, and gets up on his feet panting, gun in hand. He turns and looks at Ste who's sobbing uncontrollably. He runs towards him and quickly opens the cloth around his mouth, and unties his hands and feet, and pulls him into his arm, "Its okay…everything is okay," he repeats, kissing his temple repeatedly till his sobs subside, and his own tears falling.

"What are we gonna do?" Ste asks his tone croaky.

"We're not gonna do anything," his dad says, brushing his hair back lightly.

"But…what about the money, and…and the bodies?" he stutters.

His dad holds his face in his hands, looking him in the eyes, "I will give away all the money in the world if it means keeping you safe, and as for them, we're gonna leave the bastards to rot, they brought it upon themselves. What matters to me, is only you and your mom," he says firmly. Ste nods, wiping his tears and snot with his sleeve. His dad pulls him into another tight embrace before helping him up on his feet. He follows his dad close by as they walk towards the entrance, avoiding the bodies. But they stop, when they hear a light groan; they turn around, and notice it's coming from the guy his dad.

His dad keeps him back, as he slowly walks over to the body, and with his feet turns it over.

"What you doing?" he asks his dad as he bends down and grabs the black mask covering the mans face, and pulls it back.

Ste falls against the door as his limbs give away, he feels like he can't _breathe._


	12. Chapter 12

A/N Thank you everyone that reviewed, you're so lovely! Really appreciate it! Also I got a chance to update earlier, and hope this makes up for the DELAY. Oh and sorry this has a lot of dialogue in this chapter! ^_^ MUCH LOVE!

**...**

**Chapter 12**

**...**

It seemed like a taunting nightmare, one that made his blood run cold, and flesh, sweat like he'd been ignited with _flames_.

He gripped his head, and closed his eyes, in hopes, that the scene around him would somehow vanish into thin air, but to no avail. Nor could move, or grasp the words that had spilled from his dad's mouth, as he pulled him up by the arm, like a _limbless_ rag doll, "Ay, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay," his dad, reiterated as he wrapped his arms around his trembling body, but the words were but empty _vessels_.

"Go wait in the car, I'll deal with this," his dad said. With that, Ste had pulled back, "What..what are you gonna do?" he asked in a trembling, raspy voice.

"I have to ring the police, we-"

"No!" He shook his head, "Please... Don't," he pleaded. His eyes were wide and rimmed red. His dad took his head between his hands, "Don't worry, we will leave before they arrive."

"No...Don't please."

"Ste, we have too, he's a criminal, we have too," He had reached into his pocket, "Fuck, I left it in the car," he cursed. Suddenly a choking cough escaped from the man on the ground.

"Please da,... let's just take him at the hospital," he begged, the vulnerability in his eyes was striking.

"Alright," he let out a heavy sigh, "Come-on, you gotta help me."

_His_ eyes were so cold, and blue, his skin paler than he'd ever seen before, and his lips painted crimson, with _blood._ They carried him to the back seat of the car, and laid him down across it.

"Take this," his dad handed him a T-shirt, he found on the seat, "Press it on his wound, to keep him from bleeding more."

Ste nodded and crawled into the back seat. With shaky hands, he pulled down the zipper of his leather jacket, his stomach dropped instantly when he saw all the blood that had soaked through his gray T-shirt.

"Ste..ve..n," his voice was barely audible, "I..am-" he couldn't say more, and began coughing out more blood.

"Da, hurry please!" Ste cried out, his tears that he attempted to hold back, started pouring down.

The GPS had routed them to a hospital not too far from where they'd been.

"Just wait here, I am gonna go get help," his dad told him, as he brought the car to a halt in front of the Emergency area, and quickly exited the car.

"_Please,_ hold on…" he cried, he couldn't control his emotions. He was a mess of tears and snot by the time his dad and three nurses arrived. He was asked to exit the car, so they could attend to him.

"He's lost lots of blood!" One nurse yelled out, while the other two rolled a stretcher near the car. They pulled out_ his_ unconscious body and quickly placed him on the stretcher, and rushed him through the emergency doors.

His eyes opened gingerly, a white light blinded his vision, he squinted and opened them again. Perhaps it had all been a _nightmare, _he thought. But then he turned his head and saw his dad sat on a wooden chair, his head bent down; he looked exhausted. He sat up when he noticed Ste was awake.

"What happened?" he asked with a cracked voice.

"You passed out, how you feeling?" his dad said.

"Is...is he alright?" Ste asked faintly, ignoring the question.

His dad let out a heavy breath, "I don't _know_, and I don't _care," _he said tiredly. Ste's head dropped low, there he'd been worrying his parents, yet he was concerned about _someone_ else, he _hated. _

"What matters is you're alright," his dad added, "Your mom is on her way, I didn't tell her the full truth, you know what's she's like. I told her, we found a severely injured man on our way home, and that you fainted when you saw his blood, so make sure you don't tell her anything else," his dad explained.

Ste nodded, he knew his dad was right, his mom wouldn't be able to handle it.

She had come moments after, dressed in her work uniform, "Oh god, I was so worried when your dad called me," said, and kissed him on the forehead, before looking to her husband, "What did the doctors say?"

"We're just waiting for some blood test results, then we can leave," he replied tiredly.

"You both must be exhausted, I hope the bloke you found is alright, his parents must be dead worried, I would know," she sighed, and held onto Ste's hand, "But what matters is that you're alright," she said with a poignant smile, "So, how did your finals go today?" she asked, she'd tried to change the vain atmosphere even though, it wasn't the right time.

"It was _good_," he answered and forged a smile.

His blood results had come back normal, so he was allowed to leave. He'd frozen for a second when he got into back seat of the car; it would always be a reminder of what _happened_, and the image of _his_ body sprawled across it would forever be ingrained in his mind, like everything else in the past. He stared blankly at the sky that was cloaked with darkness, just like his life was _once_ again.

"I am fine, just a bit tired," he answered when his mom asked if he was okay when they got out of the car.

"You should go take a shower and rest," his dad suggested. He was aware that his dad was trying to make everything appear _normal. _But things would never be normal.

He felt like a zombie as he walked towards his bathroom, he couldn't even bare to look in the mirror, afraid of what he'd _see._ He didn't spend a long in the shower, he couldn't risk his mind to wander off. He walked to his bed and sat on the edge, with his bathrobe wrapped around him. He pulled the drawer of his lamp table, and grabbed his diary and pen. He opened it to a new page, as he held the pen with shaky fingers, and began to write.

_November 2nd, 2017 -_

_Clearly I am as stupid and weak as I've always believed. I was a fool for believing that, that light I thought I had in my life was real, but it was__ nothing, but a fraudulent mirage. I am pathetic to the core, so easily manipulated, that it sickens me, no wonder why Bre-_

A tear dropped on the page, smudging the black ink. He dropped his pen, and stood up, his eyes frozen on the page. Everything he'd written, _echoed_ in his mind like a mocking tune. His lips pressed together in acrimony, as more tears fell down his cheeks. Then suddenly he ripped every page out and tore them to pieces; they fell to the ground like confetti.

He fell against his bed, and began _sobbing._

...

He knew he hadn't died, when he'd seen bright, _white light, _when he first opened his eyes_,_ because that would've meant he was in _heaven. _Though the pain he was in felt like _hell,_ he could barely move his waist, that was bandaged up like a mummy, which he didn't understand since he'd only been _shot. _

He was aware what the doctor knew was fabricated bull shit, or else he'd be in cuffs before he'd even woken up. But he went along with it, and claimed he didn't remember anything that had _happened, _which was also bull shit -

_He had trashed his entire apartment, after he'd met with Trevor. He was in deep shit, and the only thing he could think about was how to keep the boy safe, because he knew if Danny found out the truth, all hell would break loose. He sat down on his couch, the only thing that had managed to escape his wrath, trying to figure out what he was going to do. But then his phone had buzzed, altering his state of mind._

_His heart thumped in his chest as he picked up. _

_"Been trying to ring you all day, began to think you ran out on me," Danny remarked, his tone sarcastic._

_Brendan swallowed, "Sorry, was bit busy with Trevor."_

_"Forget about him right now, I got something else more important," Danny told him. If Trevor had said anything to him, he was sure Danny wouldn't keep quiet about it. He let out a sigh of relief, he still had time._

_He'd told the boy that he'd pick him up from the dorm that day, but he couldn't because Danny had told him to meet up with him, at an old warehouse, east of town. When he got there, it was dark; the only light, was the pale moonlight._

_"Danny?" he called out, as he stepped off his motorcycle, the night was chilly, awfully familiar. __Danny had appeared out of the warehouse, dressed in all black._

_"What ye doing?" he asked; he'd never seen Danny like that before._

_"We got business to do Brendan," he said and tossed him a black cotton mask._

_"What's this for?"_

_"You will see, just put it on."_

_Moments later a black van drove down the dirt road, and parked in front of them._

_"Drug shipment?" Brendan asked._

_Danny didn't answer, his focus was van door as it slid open, and a guy stepped out, dressed in black from head to toe. Brendan watched curiously, as the man pulled on something inside the van. His eyes widened he realized it was an unconscious person, head covered with a black, cloth bag._

_"Tie him up to the poll," Danny ordered._

_"Who is it?" Brendan asked curiously. He didn't have much time to analyze, as the man disappeared into the dark warehouse with the body draped over his shoulder. _

_"And you, here," Danny handed him a phone, "You're gonna make the call."_

_He looked down at the phone in his hand, his stomach immediately dropped, he recognized it._

_"You kidnapped him?" he asked in utter shock, "This...this is a big mistake Danny, he's not just anyone, he's got fucking family-"_

_Danny chuckled cynically, __"That's the whole point. Grabbing some gutter rat off the street ain't gonna fucking get us any money," Danny spit, "And your luckily I was considerate or I could've done this all alone, and taken the money for myself, but I ain't that fucking selfish."_

_Brendan let out a heavy breath, "I...I am just fucking surprised alright, I thought ye wanted me to do this, I didn't expect it since we've been busy with Trevor and shit."_

_"_I was tired of all the fucking waiting, and right now is the perfect time._ You should be happy, since I did most of the work; all you have to do is make the call."_

_"They will recognize my voice," Brendan claimed._

_"What?"_

_"I've run into his parents before, they've seen me, they know my voice," he repeated thickly._

_"Fucking hell, you're useless," Danny sneered and snatched the phone from him, "T! Get the fuck out here!" Danny shouted at the other guy._

_"Fucking call his dad," he told him. _

_"You go in there and keep on eye on him," Danny ordered Brendan. _

_Brendan's heart beat frantically when he saw his tiny frame tied up to a wooden pull. He was dressed in a fitted burgundy sweat and camel colored khakis, that had been stained with dirt. He couldn't go near him, he couldn't get himself to believe he let it go that far. He was suppose to protect him, and there he was in the mercy of Danny. He walked back and forth anxiously, he could hear T on the phone.  
><em>

_"You have two hours to get the fucking money, and if you make one wrong move, ring the police or anything, I promise you, we will kill him, you got that?" he warned, before hanging up. Then Danny and him and walked in. The time seemed to drag on as they waited. He__ knew he could take them down if he wanted, but he wasn't going to risk it, not even if there was a slight chance of the boy getting hurt, especially since Danny and T were armed with guns and he'd been fucked up in the head, that he'd forgotten his. _

_"What if he doesn't show up?" Brendan asked Danny._

_"He will."_

_"How can ye be so sure?"_

_"Just shut it, why you acting like a fucking pansy, you've done this many times before," Danny hissed._

_"He's awake," T, had suddenly shouted, and__ pulled the bag off the boy's face. Brendan instantly turned around, but Danny grabbed his arm, "Where you going?" _

_"I'll be outside, and wait," he excused quietly, though it was a lie. He turned around and walked out, he felt like he couldn't breathe. He leaned against the wooden panels of the warehouse, but then he__ stepped away from the wall, when he saw bright head lights heading his way. Danny and T came out seconds later, their guns drawn out as they approached the car. _

_The boy's dad exited the car, a suitcase in hand, and in all honestly he'd been surprised that the boys dad actually showed up. He realized not everyone was like his dad, the boy was luckier than he'd thought. _

_"Drop the suitcase," T ordered._

_"I want to see my son first," he said, his eyes were rimmed red, but the furry in them was evident._

_"Drop the suitcase first," Danny ordered thickly, pointing his gun at him._

_He slowly put in down, and put his hands up._

_"Go get it!" Danny ordered Brendan._

_He quickly walked towards the suitcase and grabbed it, he didn't look up at the man, afraid he'd be recognized._

_Danny ordered the boy's dad to go into the warehouse, at gunpoint. He heard the boy whimpering and crying in fear, when he'd seen his dad. _

_He'd thought Danny would let them go once they'd received the money, but that hadn't been the case. _

_So he knew he had no choice at that moment and without thought, Brendan, knocked Danny's gun out of his hand with the suitcase, and attacked him, and at that moment, the boy's dad had attacked T who'd been distracted, somehow snatched the gun from him, and shot him, before he could do anything. Brendan was wrestling Danny on the ground, both of them trying to reach for the gun. But they halted when the boy's dad pointed the gun at them, and ordered them to get up._

_The rest had happened so fast, he didn't want to hurt the boys dad, but he couldn't let him see his face, so he'd tried to wrestle for the gun, so he could escape, but before he could, the boy's dad grabbed it, and shot. The rest had been a blur._

...

Stacy and Ronny could see it in Ste's eyes, the way he was slouched and constant frown on his lips, and like he was in deep thought, that something was wrong. He seemed, worn out, and _skinnier_ than they'd ever seen him.

They had gone to his dorm room after class one evening to check up on him, "You alright?" Stacy had asked.

"Yea, I am fine," he said with a false smile, "It's just I've still got the flu," he lied.

"Ste, look, we know something is wrong, I understand if you don't want to tell us, but just know we're here to listen," Ronny had said. Ste's head had lowered, he swallowed as he walked over to his bed and sat down slowly. Though he hadn't known them for very long, he felt like he could trust them, not that he thought his judgment had any relevance after all that had happened, he's thought, but still, he needed to let it out, it was bottled up inside of him and he felt like he was _suffocating._

He didn't know whether they would laugh at him, or _leave_, or if they even _listened_, all he knew he had to tell _someone._ So he told them;_ everything, _about Brendan_. _Without ever saying _his_ name though, just referred to him as, _'the guy.'_ He didn't realize how long he was talking, till he felt tears roll down his cheeks, despite him trying to hold it back.

"I am so sorry," Stacy said, her eyes were moist, and tone was filled with _sympathy._

Ste shook his head lightly, it wasn't their fault. But he couldn't speak further, not after all that he'd _said. _Ronny had stood up, she ran her hand over her face like she'd been physically exhausted after hearing everything, "I...I can't believe that arsehole, your dad is right! He deserves to be locked up! He fucking shagged you, used you just for money!"

Hearing it from someone else, somehow made it even more _painful._

"You should've left him to die," she said in anger. Ste's lips trembled, unable to look up at any of them, he didn't know what to say, he knew she was right, anyone in the right state of mind would have left him there, but he was weak, like _always._

"Ronny..." Stacy called out, giving her a glare.

"What, that piece of shit deserves to be locked up!"

Stacy shook her head in disapproval, because she could see the effect it had on Ste.

"You're in love with him aren't you?" Stacy asked quietly.

He couldn't answer. Instead he shed more tears, he tried to wipe them away, with his sleeves but they kept coming. He didn't want Stacy and Ronny thinking he was weak too. He'd been surprised when Stacy and Ronny took him into their arms and let him weep till he couldn't anymore. He'd pulled back slightly, sniffed, wiping his tears and snot with his sleeve, "I am sorry," he said in a faint raspy voice.

"Hey, don't! We're glad you told us, I can't believe you had to go through all that, that scum doesn't deserve your love," Ronny said, Stacy nodded in agreement.

"Come-on, get yourself cleaned up, we're going out," Stacy said, pulling him up by his hand.

He needed it, he needed to get _him_ out of his head, forget everything, or else he'd go _insane, _more than he already was.

They took him out to a Mediterranean restaurant near campus, they had the best kebabs. They never once mentioned anything about what he'd said, just talked and laughed about random things, but despite it all, his mind was still _somewhere_ else. He tried to hide it though, he'd already caused them more worry than necessary. In middle of their meal, his dad had called him, asking if he wanted to be picked to go home for the weekend, he told him, he'd let him know after his last two finals were over.

When he got back to his dorm room, he'd cried _more,_ he'd never cried so much in his life, and he felt pathetic, and hated himself for it, because he didn't want to cry over a scumbag who _used_ him, yet he couldn't get him out of his head. He'd never thought he would feel more hurt and pain than what, Terry and his mom put him through, but he _did_, and it fucking hurt hundred times more, because he really believed Brendan was _different._

...

Sweat gathered on his forehead, every time the _door_ opened. He expected it to be the _police._ He'd been in the hospital for less than _two_ days, and despite being told he needed to stay longer, he demanded to be _released.  
><em>

"I am sorry, but we can't discharge you, unless we know there is someone to care for you, till you are healed."

"I got shot in on my side, not my legs," he said indignantly.

"I am sorry Mr. Brady, but that's the hospital rules."

He wanted to_ laugh,_ because he had _no one. _His supposed _best friend_, Walker_, _was still in a coma, his_ boss_ Danny, was now his number one _enemy,_ and only God knew where he was at that moment, perhaps planning his _assassination. _He_ betrayed _him_, _which meant he betrayed the entire_ Gang_, so there was no way he could have contacted any of them. And the _boy_, that was out of the question, he'd already put him in danger, and _still_ in danger since he'd fucked up _big_ time. Staying in the hospital would be lethal either way, he could get _killed_ or sent to _prison_.

There was one last person left on his contact list; Trevor, his _second enemy._ As they say, _desperate men,_ _do_ _desperate things_.

"Brendan, a bit late don't you think," Trevor had answered, before Brendan could even speak.

Brendan took a deep breath, and cleared his throat, he had to bite his pride, "I...I need ye _help_," he said faintly.

"My help?... What's wrong?"

"I am at the hospital, and they won't discharge me unless someone picks me up, I wouldn't have asked ye, but there's no one else," he admitted. He wanted to pound his head against the bed rail till it split open.

"I'll be there soon," Trevor said

He hadn't lied, Trevor showed up at the hospital within a half hour. "You look...pasty," Trevor cracked, as he walked inside his room, and held up a droopy flower in his hand, "Didn't have time to buy one, so I just plucked it from my yard," he joked, and set it on Brendan's breakfast table. Brendan was ready to say something, but the doctor stepped in, and went over his medications, and procedures to keep his wound from getting infected. One reason why he _hated_ hospitals, was how they treated patients like they were all fucking brain dead.

His nurse, Anne, a gorgeous brunette, that looked like a model rather than a nurse, helped him into a wheelchair, "Ah, there you go, such a big _boy_," she smirked, and smiled at him widely, "Hope your girlfriend is the handy type, because you're going to need help with that wound of yours," she said as she rolled him down the corridor, Trevor walking behind, "He doesn't have a _girlfriend_," Trevor commented, a mischievous smirk on his lips. Brendan glared at him before he spoke, "I don't need anyone to take care of me," he said in annoyance.

His nurse frowned slightly. Though she was definitely the type of woman he'd fuck, she was annoying and clingy, and shameless in her flirting, which put him _off._ Which really made no sense to him since he used to fuck her kind all the time, but for someone reason they effect wasn't the same.

"If you have any problems come back immediately," she told him, after she'd finally got him down to Trevors car, parked near the main entrance.

"I think she _fancies_ you," Trevor joked.

"You gonna help me up or what?" Brendan asked, ignoring his comment. Trevor chuckled and gripped his arm, "God, you're heavy," he commented, as he held onto Brendan's arm and helped him into the car "No...ye just weak," Brendan commented, then groaned as the pain shot up his side, when he sat down.

"So you gonna tell me what happened?" Trevor asked, as he drove off.

"Ye really care?" Brendan asked, his head back against the seat.

"Not really, just curious."

Brendan chuckled, "I like ye honesty."

He stayed silent for a few seconds, then let out a heavy sigh and said, "Danny kidnapped _him."_

Trevor turned his head in surprise, "What? You mean that _boy?_"

Brendan nodded; there was no point in lying.

"I didn't tell him anything, if that's what you think."

"I wouldn't be here talking to ye if I thought ye did, I would've _killed_ ye."

Trevor laughed, "Don't think you're in the position to do so, even _if_ I did."

Brendan gave him the mean mug.

"So what did he want from him?"

"_Money,_ he lost a lot since ye've come in town."

"It's business, gotta play it smart, and I guess Danny isn't all brains if he had to kidnap a college student to get his money. Must be a rich bloke, that _boy?_"

"What's it to ye?"

Trevor shrugged, "Nothing, I've got my own share, so what...you went and rescued him, Ay? Super hero and all."

"I didn't know about it, thought it was just another one of his drug shipments."

"So how did you get shot then?"

"His da," he said simply.

"Brave guy, so did he get the money?"

"Danny ran off with it."

Trevor nodded, "Didn't think you would tell me the truth."

Brendan shrugged, "There's no point in lying, not like it's gonna change anything," he said, tiredly.

"Is he alright?"

"I don't give a fuck about Danny."

"I am talking about _Lover_ boy."

Brendan looked at him with knitted brows, "I am not _queer_," Brendan hissed.

"I may be a thug, and drug dealer, Brendan, but I am not a _homophobe_, I could care less who you want to fuck, hell, I even think he's fit."

Brendan glared at him, warningly.

Trevor laughed, "Don't worry, I still prefer my _women_."

"Why did ye come?" Brendan asked.

"What you mean?"

"Why would ye help me, after what I've done?"

Trevor looked at him for a few seconds, before he answered, "I didn't think I'de ever say this, but I like you...not in that way, of course," Trevor corrected with a chuckle.

Brendan smirked, and sniffed, "Why?"

Trevor shrugged, "I guess I admire your bravery."

"Ye not mad that I killed one of ye men?"

"No, it comes with the territory, but honestly didn't think you had it in you, so I was surprised, reason why, I had one of my boys go snoop about, wanted to know more," Trevor revealed.

"Well, now ye know everything."

"Supposedly."

"Ye going the wrong way," Brendan pointed out when Trevor took a right turn.

"We're going to mine, you heard what that fit nurse said."

Brendan raised his brows at him, "I can handle myself," he snorted.

"Right, plus, I doubt you want to go back to yours, especially with Danny still out there."

He had a point.

"Nice place," Brendan commented, as Trevor helped him into his house. He sat down on his cream colored couch, adorned with leopard print pillows. It was surprisingly cozy, and warm, not at all what he'd expected from someone like Trevor who appeared, cold and bland.

"Thanks, my fiancé decorated it," he said, as he slipped off his jacket and put it on coat rack.

Brendan's eyes widened, "Ye engaged?"

"Why do you sound shocked?"

"Unless the woman is crazy, who'd want to marry ye, I mean you're not exactly _marriage_ material."

"Oi, do one, right, I am actually very..._nice."_

Brendan laughed, causing his side to ache.

"That's what you get," Trevor snickered as he walked towards the kitchen, "Want a drink?"

"Got something strong?" he asked as he got himself comfortable. The Trevor he saw at home, was totally different from what he'd first seen when he met him. He definitely wasn't _heartless_ as Danny.

"That your fiancé?" Brendan asked, when his gaze fell on a photo, of a blonde woman on the fire place.

"Yup, that's Grace."

"You've done ye self well."

Trevor smiled, as he walked towards him with two glassed filled with drinks, and handed one to him, "Whisky."

"Where she at?"

"Working, runs a nightclub," Trevor, said, as he sat down on the sofa opposite Brendan.

"That's nice, I've...always wanted to do that," Brendan said, and took a sip of his drink, he hummed, in appreciation.

"So why didn't you?"

Brendan shrugged, "Got distracted with other _shit_."

"Well, you're technically free now, you can't exactly go back and work for Danny."

Brendan chuckled, and let out a heavy sigh.

"Any of my boys could finish him off if I wanted," Trevor claimed. Brendan looked at him with raised brows, "But then why did ye want me to do it?"

"I was just _testing_ you, to see if you would actually do it."

Brendan didn't respond, he just leaned his head back against the sofa and closed his eyes.

...

"We're going to Milan for Christmas break, and we would love you to come along, just the three of us," Stacy says, one evening during dinner.

"You don't have to give us an answer right now," Ronny adds, not wanting to put pressure on him.

"I would love to," Ste replies with a smile.

Their eyes widen in surprise, "We're going to have an amazing time!" Stacy remarks excitedly.

"We should go out for drink tonight, and celebrate finishing our first semester!" Ronny suggests excitedly.

"Need a bit, the finals have me knackered," Stacy adds.

"They have amazing non alcoholic drinks at this place one of my mates told me about," Ronny says to Ste, with a wide smile.

After agreeing to go out for the night with them, Ste heads to dorm room. He lies down on his bed, his thoughts all over the place. He's tried not thinking about him, but he's always there in his mind, lingering like everything else. He wishes he could just erase him, and though it's been over a month since that day, it feels like it happened _yesterday. _

After a while, he gets up, and heads to the shower. Once he's finished, he wraps himself in a towel, and grabs his phone, he notices he's got a missed call from his mom. He's about to call her back, when suddenly a knock on the door, stops him. He throws his phone on the bed. He thinks it's Stacy and Ronny; they tend to come earlier than they usually say.

"One second," he calls out and quickly puts on his pants, and T-shirt, leaving his hair still wet, then opens the door. His eyes widen in shock, and heart starts pounding.

"How...how..." he can't even speak.

"Steven-"

He tries to slam the door shut, but Brendan pushes it, causing him to stumble backwards.

"Get out of here, or I will call the police," Ste threatens, as he grabs his phone off the bed, in panic.

"Steven...I am just here to talk," Brendan says thickly, looking at Ste with those piercing blue eyes.

Ste swallows, and shakes his head; he isn't going to fall for anymore of his lies, "No…just leave," he demands.

But Brendan closes the door, and walks towards him slowly.

"Stay away from me!" he shouts.

"Steven, I am not going to hurt ye," he says in a cautious low tone, staring at Ste intensely.

"You've already hurt me," Ste says with croaked tone, his eyes begin to moisten, despite himself trying to hold it back.

"It's not what ye think, I didn't mean to-"

"You didn't mean too?" Ste cuts him off, his tone bitter and filled with anger, "You didn't mean too?! You fucking used me for my _money."_

"That's not-" Brendan tries to speak, but Ste keeps going.

"I was just easy trash you could pick up and throw the next day."

"Steven..."

"I was so stupid, like I've always been, so fucking stupid that I believed you. But that's what I deserve. I deserve it, just like I deserved...what…" he's about to say what Terry did to him, but he shakes his head, a single tear falls down his cheek.

"Steven...listen" Brendan's walks up to him, but Ste pushes him back, "GET OUT!" he suddenly shouts, and pushes him again till Brendan's back hit the door, "Get out!" he shouts again. Suddenly Brendan grips his wrists, spins him and pins him against the door.

"Let go!" Ste shouts, and tries to free himself from Brendan's grip, but to no avail. As much as he hates Brendan, he can't stop the beating of his heart. He still smells amazing; his eyes still piercing, lips red, his breath hot, he can feel his body beginning to betray him, again, and he hates it. "Let go of me!" he demands, the waver in his voice is evident.

"No, not until ye listen to me," Brendan growls lowly, "I understand why ye angry Steven, I do," he begins, and Ste doesn't know why he allows him to continue, but he does, "but I never used ye, I swear - I...I didn't know what Danny was planning."

Ste eyes widen in shocked.

"He ordered the kidnap, that's why I warned ye all this time, he-"

"How do I know you're not lying, like all the other times," Ste bites back, he won't allow himself to make the mistake twice.

"Do ye really think I'de do that to ye?" Brendan asks thickly.

"Then why were you there?"

Brendan's gaze shifts, "I am hardly snow white, Steven, I _deal_ with things, but I didn't know, ye were there, I swear."

Ste swallows, his lips tremble, "but...then, why did you go along with it?"

"I had no choice Steven, I wasn't going to risk getting ye hurt, I thought if Danny got the money, he would let ye go, but he lied, so I attacked him," Brendan explains, looking at Ste like he's begging him to believe him. And Ste does, even though he doesn't want to. He doesn't respond, he lowers his head.

Brendan lets go of his wrists, "Steven... look at me," he lifts his chin, "I am bad news, I know that, ye know that, I've done many bad things, I still _do_, but...I promise ye, I'de never hurt ye, I wouldn't let anyone hurt ye...I…I...care about ye…"

The tears that Ste tried holding back, start falling down his flushed cheeks. Brendan pulls him into his arms, and holds him tightly, apologizing over and over again.

Ste pulls back slowly, his breath shallow;he feels, _embarrassed_. His hands are on Brendan's chest, he can feel the steady thud of his heart, underneath his leather jacket.

"I…I am sorry...I -" he begins to speak, but Brendan places a finger on his lips, "Don't...don't ever apologize," he says in a low soothing tone, caressing Ste's cheek with his thumb, wiping over his tears. He leans forward, and kisses his plump lips, just a press of lips, no tongue, but it still makes Ste's stomach flutter.

Brendan pulls back, his hand slightly on Ste's cheek, "Everything okay? Ye want me to stop?" he asks lowly.

Instead of answering, Ste anxiously grips the material of Brendan's jacket and presses himself closer; and meets Brendan half way, and clashes their lips together. The kiss makes him delirious, and he wants more of it, he wraps his arms around Brendan's neck, and pushes his tongue deeper into his mouth, wants to feel every part of him.

Brendan lifts him by the thighs, and pushes him against the wall, making them moan as their tongues intertwine in desperation. They only break apart, when Brendan pulls Ste's shirt over his head, and kisses him again, harder, and deeper, then pivots him towards the bed, "God, I've miss ye," Brendan says, in thick hazy tone, then grips Ste's head and kisses him, then moves down his jaw. Ste throws his head back, allowing him access to all those sensitive parts that drive him to the edge. It's all too much when Brendan begins kissing, sucking, and licking every part of him, his hands roams frantically all over his body like he's in search of something. He's burning with _every_ sensation and he doesn't want it to stop.

He lifts his pelvis, grinding upwards against Brendan, wanting to feel more of the friction. Brendan pulls back, and grips the hem of his pant, and pulls it down hastily, revealing his already hard cock, slicked with pre-cum. He swipes over Ste's sensitive head with his tongue, making him moan obscenely. He looks up at him with dark, animalistic eyes, and smirks filthily, before he takes him completely. Ste's eyes rolls to the back of his head and can't help but thrust upwards into his hot mouth, feeling his warm saliva coat his cock. He intertwines his fingers in Brendan's dark strands, as his orgasm thunders through his body, makes his entire body shutter with pleasure, and cums hard into his mouth.

Brendan pulls back and wipes his mouth, and gets up from the bed. For a second he panics, thinking Brendan is going to leave, but then he opens his belt, staring at him with lustful eyes. Then he takes off his leather jacket, and pulls his black shirt over his head. Ste swallows hard when he see's the scar from where he was shot, slightly pink. He feels guilty that Brendan has another scare added onto his beautiful sculpted body, because of him. Even still, Ste can't take his eyes off of him, can't believe how _sexy_ he is. He swallows hard when Brendan pulls down his jeans and boxers, and reveals his hard beautiful cock, glazing with pre-cum.

He crawls back onto the bed, and Ste lightly, traces his scar with his finger, "I am...sorry," he says in a faint tone.

Brendan grips his wrist, "I deserved it," he says, and pulls Ste up, and doesn't give him a chance to talk, and kisses him, grips his waist and pulls him onto his lap. His cock glides against Ste's crack, and over his hole, making them both moan, he grips Ste's hair, pulling it bad and assaults his neck with his tongue, sucking, groaning in satisfaction as if he was eating his best meal.

Ste digs his fingers into Brendan's back, as he grinds himself down on Brendan moaning shamelessly as they hold onto each other, and both come hard without any penetration. But Brendan doesn't give Ste time to come down, he flips him onto his back, lifts his legs, spits on his hand and uses their cum to open Ste up. He thrusts his fingers deep inside of his as he kisses him, and makes him hard again. Ste groans when Brendan pulls out, and flips Ste onto top of him in sitting position. He reddens in embarrassment.

"Touch ye self," Brendan says in a gravely tone. Ste looks hesitant, so Brendan grips his hand, and spit on it and guides it to his cock, making him stroke himself, while he guides him in movement, till he gets a hand of it. He doesn't understand why it feels so good, he's done it many times before, but for some reason Brendan watching him like he wants to eat him alive, as he tosses himself, makes the _pleasure_ intensify. He closes his eyes, and parts his mouth open as he begins humping down on Brendan's cock, feeling his head against his hole.

"God, fuck, ye so beautiful," Brendan groans as Ste continues with his movements, so shameless in them, he feels like he's a complete _different_ person. He's about to come, but Brendan stops him, lifts his hips and guides him to his cock, and presses him down. He moans and cries out as Brendan's cock goes deep inside of him.

"Oh...god," he cries out, when the head of Brendan's cock rubs against his prostate. He's never felt so full, of Brendan, and it feels amazing. Brendan moans and groans give him confidence as he starts fucking himself on his cock, speeding up as the pleasure intensifies. He arches his back wanting Brendan's cock to go even deeper, and fucks himself _harder_ and _faster,_ his moans and cries mixing with Brendan's animistic ones. Brendan grips his hips tight, as he fucks him from beneath, hitting his prostate over and over again, till Ste shoots white strings of cum all over Brendan's chest, and face.

"I..I am sorry," he says breathlessly, but Brendan smirks and licks it off, and flips him onto his back lifts his legs over his shoulder and plunges back into him hard and fast, groaning and moaning till he comes deep inside of him. He thrusts into him with shallowly till he comes down from the high and pulls out slowly, and falls next to Ste, panting.

"Ye okay?" Brendan asks quietly, stroking Ste's hair. Ste looks at him, flushed, "More than okay," he says with a content smile.

Brendan chuckles lightly.

"What?" he asks, thinking he said something wrong.

"Ye so fucking cute, I can't handle it," Brendan says, looking up at the ceiling of Ste's dorm room.

"What's the matter?" Brendan asks, when Ste goes quiet.

"Do... you really think so?" he asks quietly, his lips in a slight pout.

"Think what?"

"That... I am... I am.."

"Beautiful?" Brendan finishes for him. Ste nods, fiddling with his fingers in nervousness. Brendan crawls onto of him. He trails his finger down Ste's face, "Ye...the most beautiful thing I've ever seen Steven, and I am not just saying that," he combs his hand through his soft his that's dampened with sweat.

Ste's heart starts pounding as Brendan his finger trails down the side of his face, "Ye brows, ye eyes, ye lashes, so fucking long, women would die for them, ye nose, ye lips," he swipes his thumb over Ste's bruised plump lips, "I could fucking kiss them all day, ye know that," he lowers his face to his, "and I can fuck ye all day, because ye so Goddamn _beautiful_," he says it in a way where Ste thinks he was offended by his _question, _like it was the only truth. He kisses Ste's lips, and touches down his damp body, and begins kissing him deeply, yet sensually, but suddenly his phone rings. He rises up, grabs his jeans, and reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone.

"Who is it?" Ste asks, but Brendan doesn't respond. He gets up, puts on his boxers, and jeans. "I have to go," he says and hastily grabs his shirt, and puts it on. Ste sit up quickly, and pulls onto his shirt, "No, please... stay.." he begs vulnerably.

"Steven...I have to go...I have too." Ste shakes his head, "No...please.." he kisses him, he tries to resist, but gives into Ste's advances. He guilds his shirt back off, and grips Ste's hips, and pushes him on the bed, but suddenly the door swings open.

They don't have time to react, as Ste's dad rushes towards Brendan, "GET THE FUCK OF MY SON! YOU FUCKING SICK BASTARD!" He shouts and punches him right in the face, knocking him to the ground. Ste quickly rises, heart pounding in panic, "DAD! STOP!" he tries grabbing his dad, but he pushes him back and begins punching Brendan over and over again before he could even rise. He's surprised that Brendan is letting his dad hit him.

"DAD, STOP! PLEASE! STOP!" he begs, but to no avail. So he jumps in front of Brendan, covering him, his dads fist stops in mid air, his eyes wide open, he's never seen his dad like that, he looks _possessed, "_GET AWAY STE!"

"NO! PLEASE STOP! STOP IT!" he cries, holding onto Brendan.

"Brendan, please, get up!" Ste cries. Brendan groans underneath him, his mouth bloody and bruised.

"WHY YOU DEFENDING THIS SICK BASTARD!"

Ste turns his head, his eyes are blood shocked, tears rolling down his face, "Because_ I LOVE HIM!_" he cries out.

...


	13. Chapter 13

A/N Thank you for the reviews! You guys are amazing! Even with my busy schedule I do my best to update as soon as I can, because it's my pleasure writing for you guys, and of course because I fucking miss and love Stendan. Anyways here is the next chapter, please enjoy, comments always appreciated! ^_^

**...**

**Chapter 13**

**...**

He'd realized the capacity of his _feelings_ for him, the moment he'd thought, that Brendan was going to die after he'd been shot at the warehouse, months ago. However, at that time he couldn't _admit_ it, he couldn't _say_ it. But then, seeing Brendan being beaten, inflicted a pain in him, that was more aching and agonizing than the pain he'd received at the hands of his step dad.

"I love him," he reiterated desperately, as he looked up at his dad, with pleading eyes. His dad stared down at him in bewilderment as he gripped Brendan's arm, and helped him up.

"I am sorry," he let out in a low cry, when he saw the state of Brendan's face that was covered in blood and cuts.

"Don't fucking apologize to the son of a bitch!" His dad shouted.

Brendan pulled his arm out of Ste's grip, picked up his shirt and jacket.

"If you ever touch my son again, I will fucking KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME! I WILL KILL YOU!" his dad shouted in rage as Brendan headed towards the door and left. Ste quickly shut the door behind him and turned towards his dad, who was facing away, palms flat against the wall.

"How long?"

"Dad?" he said in croaked tone, as he quickly got dressed.

"How long... have you been seeing him?" He asked with a raspy tone.

Ste swallowed, his throat felt tight, and it burned, as he tried to speak, "Dad... I am sorry, I... I-" he was startled by the sound of his dads palm slamming against the wall, "Just tell me the God dam truth!" he turned to face Ste; his brows were knitted, face painted in anger, "Tell me..."

_"Tell me," He growled, as he stepped closer and pushed his trembling body against the wall. The thud of his back colliding with the wall was perhaps as loud as the thumping of his heart._

_His breath stunk of alcohol, as he leaned his face down to his, "Tell me, why did you take the fucking God dam cookie when your mom said not to touch it?" he sneered inches away from his face. The crumbs of the Christmas cookie he'd managed to sneak from the kitchen, were still stuck on the corner of his mouth._

_His eyes answered, before his mouth, as they spilled out tears. Suddenly he felt his lungs collapse, and vision blur, he struggled to breath, his tiny hands were defenseless as he tried to pry off the heavy hand that was clasped around his neck. Just before darkness threatened to take over, he was dropped to the ground, choking and grasping for air, he could feel the splinters of the old wooden floor jab into the flesh of his cheeks._

"Ste... Ste..." his dad called out to him. He had somehow crawled up into a ball against the wall near the door, shaking.

His dads face painted with guilt automatically, he'd realized what he'd done. The first time it had happened, Ste was_twelve. _He'd knocked a cup hot tea on his mom's feet when he pushed it away, when his mom had suggested that it could help get rid of his cold he'd had. Though his mom had said she was fine, his dad had shouted at him for the first time, not realizing the effect it could have. He'd ended up on the floor, balled up and shaking, and it has scared them to death. It was the first time they had witnessed one of his _episodes. _According to a psychologist, any kind of shouting, or outburst could trigger a memory and cause him to relive the horrific events of his childhood, that had traumatized him.

He pulled Ste's rigid body into his arms, and apologized over and over again, and kissed his temple, till he finally relaxed and began sobbing. After he'd calmed down, he pulled back, and looked into Ste's eyes that were rimmed red, "I am sorry... I didn't mean to scare you, I'de never hurt you," he said and took Ste's face in between his hands, "You're my son, and I love you, and all I want, all your mom and I want, is for you to be happy, we worked so hard to get you, and I... can't, no," he shook his head, "we... we won't lose you to a _scum_ like that," he said firmly.

"I am... I am sorry... " Ste let out in a low whimper.

"Why... why him?" His dad asked quietly.

"I... I don't know... I... I've never... slept with another bloke before, I-"

"Is this what you think it's about?"

Ste's silence was his answer. His dad lowered his gaze, "It's... it's not that it's a_guy_ Ste..." he let out a heavy breath, "I am... I am not gonna lie and say I am not shocked..." he shook his head, and looked up at him, "but that's not the point, it's, it's who_he_ is... did you forget what he did to you?"

Ste shook his head, "He said... said it... it was a misunderstanding," He said faintly.

His dad let out a bitter chuckle, and rose to his feet, let out a heavy breath, and ran his hands over his exhausted face, "I know people like him," he claimed, "He... he'll say anything to get you on his side, play with your head, he's a master manipulator, a_criminal_," he accused harshly. Ste could feel the fresh tears pooling around his eyes.

"Do you even know what he does? Where he works? Who his parents are? His friends? Family? What if he's married? Has someone else?"

Ste shook his head, he had no answers for any of them. He lowered his head in shame, "I am sorry," he said in a whimper.

"No... don't apologize... I understand, I too fell in love, I know what it's like... but this... this is different, he... he doesn't love you," his dad said, and it_stung_, it stung because, he was right, he didn't even know if Brendan loved him back, he'd never said it before. He wiped the tears that were about to fall down his face, "You're not going to tell mom are you?" he asked faintly.

"Of course not," he reached out and pulled Ste up slowly, "This is between me and you... just promise me you will stay away from him?"

Ste shook his head slightly. His dad pulled him into a tight embrace and apologized again for scaring him. He'd told him, he'd had come to his dorm because Ste hadn't picked up his phone, and after what had happened at the warehouse, he'd been afraid that something had happened. He asked Ste if he wanted to go home with him.

Ste shook his head, "Tomorrow," he said faintly. His dad had nodded and kissed him on the forehead before he smiled at him poignantly and left the premises. Ste shut the door behind him, and dragged his back down the door, and tried to not cry, but he couldn't help it. He was startled by a loud knock on the door. He quickly wiped his eyes, and flattered his messy hair, cleared his throat and opened the door. He was faced with Stacy and Ronny, with wide grins on their face, dressed for the night, but their smiles had faltered immediately, when they saw the state of him.

"Hiya," he tried to say in his cheeriest tone. But they weren't buying his bullshit.

"What happened?" Stacy asked in concern.

Ste let them in, it was obvious they weren't going to be going anywhere. He'd already told them everything else, so he thought there was no point in lying. He sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the carpeted floor as he spoke.

"He left without saying anything?" Stacy asked, with wide eyes.

He nodded, "If he cared, he'd at least say something, and not just leave like a coward," Ronny added bitterly.

Stacy brows rose, "You serious, his dad beat the shit out of him, what did you expect him to do, stay and get beat up more?"

"No, but what does that say, he didn't even deny anything, technically proving his dad right."

Stacy rolled her eyes and looked back at Ste who was just frozen, looking down at his feet.

"Why don't you call him?"

"I... I can't, I don't have his number anymore," he admitted, he had deleted from last time, after he'd thought Brendan was responsible for the kidnapping, and he hadn't been able to get his number again, since his dad walked in on them.

"Look, if he came all the way here to explain to you what happened, then he cares," Stacy assured, and though she didn't know Brendan, hearing someone else say it, somewhat eased the tightness in his chest.

"Guys will do any shit just to get in your pants," Ronny threw with bitterness.

"If that's the case, then why did he come find Ste? When there's so many others out there?"

"You're losing the whole point."

"Just please... leave it," Ste said, he didn't want to hear anymore, his head was pounding with all the thoughts pushing themselves in, ready to crack open his skull.

...

Cheryl had given him a bible the first time he'd gone to prison, it kept him from going insane.

_Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is an abomination_

He imprinted the words in his mind, wanting to desperating replace the echo of the boys voice in his head saying those,_three words. _

He wished he'd just left. But like always, the boy had pulled him in. He obviously cared about him, fucking fancied, no, that was an understatement, is fucking obsessed with him, but _love_, it couldn't be, especially not when he didn't believe in it. He'd only ever said those three words to Cheryl, because she was his sister, it was normal, but two men? It wasn't right, it's what he grew up knowing, believing. He convinced himself in his twisted logic, that fucking the boy was different, it was just a body connected to another body, it meant _nothing_, but the boy had been the one that crossed the line when he'd said he loved men couldn't love each other, not in the way a man and a woman could, _should_. He wasn't planning a future with him, or whatever those everyday unconventional people did with their partners, he had no desire to shower him with rose petals, give him cards, write sappy poems confessing the sickness of love, whatever shit couples did, but no, they weren't even that and never would be. Perhaps the beating he received from the boys dad, finally beat some sense into his head, that was he was doing was wrong, no matter how he tried to excuse it. He was sure he'd never see the boy again, not after everything the boy's dad was going to put into his head about him, and mostly it was all true, perhaps it was for the best, that way they both could move on.

He'd been surprised when Trevor had offered him work one night, whilst watching the Walking dead. They had formed some sort of weird friendship while Brendan stayed at Trevors apartment till he healed. He was going to go back to his apartment but Trevor had suggested that he'd stay till he found a new apartment, because it wasn't safe, not after what he'd done, and that he was sure Danny and the gang would be after him, since he practically betrayed them for the boy, and he knew he was right. But Brendan couldn't help but feel like a burden so always asked Trevor if there was anything he needed him to do, or help with, in which Trevor always would say, "Maybe later."

"How do ye know I won't betray ye too?" Brendan asked nonchalantly.

Trevor had shrugged, "Because you wouldn't be asking me that if you were, and plus, I need someone capable."

Working for Trevor was completely different from working for Danny. Trevor didn't only operate underground, most of his clients consisted of wealthy folks, doctors, professors, lawyers, and even politicians, which had its perks because it meant he also had the law on his side, no wonder why Danny wanted him dead.

Danny had also been right about the drugs. They were rare; a combination of special homemade chemicals, according to Trevor, made by a chemistry professor whose name was kept kept anonymous.

For his first job, he had to deliver a half pound of the crystal meth, to an insurance Lawyer. Instead of taking his motorcycle, and dressing up in all black leather, he dressed in an black expensive, Armani suit, topped with aviator glasses, and a black suitcase, which contained the drugs. When he looked at his reflection in the mirror it was like he was staring back at his alter ego, classy millionaire.

Trevor kept him as the dealer for his wealthy clients, because Brendan looked the part. He'd meet them exclusively, either at hotels, or their homes and got the business done. The amount of money he made in one month, was equivalent to the amount he'd probably make in his entire life. He indulged in it by purchasing a apartment not too far from Trevors, a new motorcycle, and a black 2016 Mercedes, and set of expensive suits.

...

Stacy was right, Milan was indeed beautiful. _Duomo Di Milano_, was covered in thousands of Christmas lights, glistening against its marble and stone walls, that were of extraordinary craftsmanship, and mesmerizing architecture, perhaps the most _amazing_ he'd ever seen.

"What about you?" Stacy asked Ste, who's gaze was focused on the crucifixion of _Jesus_ on the cross, which had immediately reminded him of _Brendan_, whom he'd been trying to forget, in order to keep that promise he'd made to his dad. But everywhere he went there was always something that would remind him of him, or perhaps it was his subconscious mind, relating everything to him.

"Huh?" he asked, looking away from the cross.

"Are you religious?"

"Coming to church doesn't make you religious," Ronny had replied with a snort.

"I... I don't believe in anything if that's what you mean," he replied, and it was the truth, he'd never really ever thought about what he believed, because everything felt _empty._

"Huh, I assumed you were Catholic or something," Ronny added nonchalantly as she tapped her fingers against the wooden seats of the chapel.

Ste shook his head, "My parents are Christian..."

Ronny nodded, "It's crazy, isn't it- your parents are something, then you're born another way, even though genetically you have fifty percent of your moms and dads DNA."

Ste swallowed, he didn't want to think of the blood that ran in his veins, it made him feel dirty.

"Wait, didn't you say, that _guy,_ wears a cross necklace, so is he Catholic or something?" Stacy asked.

Ste shrugged, "I... I don't know... I never asked."

"Because you were too busy shagging him," Stacy quipped with a sheepish grin. Ste blushed bashfully, "No... I just, I don't... I don't know much about him do I?"

"You want to know though?" Stacy asked.

"Doesn't matter, since my dad doesn't want me seeing him."

"Well, I don't blame him," Ronny interjected.

Stacy rolled her eyes, "Well, I think you should anyways."

"Talk about bad influence."

"Oh, shut up, don't act like you never rebelled," Stacy bit back.

Ronny chuckled, "Yea... she's right... I ran away from home when my parents found out, they told me I was going to hell for being gay," she said, while her eyes roamed around the church.

"I dreaded telling my dad the most," Stacy spoke, "But he was actually very supportive, so was my mom."

"Not everyone has parents like yours," Ronny bit.

"My dad says he's alright, but...I don't even know... you know... if I am, you know... gay," Ste said. They looked at him with raised brows.

"Who turns you on, guys or girls?" Stacy asked bluntly. Ste swallowed, he looked down at his hands blushing, "I... I've never been with a girl," he admitted shamefully.

"You ever wanted to?"

"I was curious... I kissed one before... but I... I don't know, it's different with Brendan."

"Brendan?" Stacy asked with wide eyes. He swallowed hard, he'd slipped up, and it was too late, there was no point in keeping it a secret, they already knew everything else about him, knowing his name wasn't going to change anything.

"So the prick finally has a name," Ronny said.

"So when do we get to meet this mystery man?" Stacy asked, with a wide grin on her face.

"I don't think you guys would want to meet him," Ste replied quietly.

"You're right, I don't, because I just might punch his face if I do," Ronny bit, making Stacy abrupt in laughter, "Is he at least as sexy as his name sounds?" she asked.

His gravely thick voice, the way he said his name, drawled it out in a low growl, the way he stared at him so intensely like he'd burn a hole into his skin if he stared bit longer, the way he walked, they way he stood, the way his muscles flexed when he rode his motorcycle, his pale hard body, the dark hairs scattered on it, just everything, his entire being extruded _sexiness_. The flush of his cheeks gave away the answer.

Of course he'd wanted to show off Brendan, but he _couldn't_, because Brendan wasn't his, never would be, and most likely would be with a woman, since he wasn't even sure Brendan was really gay, since he'd slept with only women before him. He didn't want to think about that, because it made his stomach twist with jealousy.

They returned home a week before Christmas. His mom had already decked the house in Christmas ornaments and lights. He'd told them all about the trip, which had put a smile on their faces. He'd come out of his room that night to get some water, but he'd stopped halfway down the steps when he overheard his parents talking in the kitchen.

"I checked our joint bank account, we're missing 130,000 pounds," his mom had alleged.

"Oh... I am sorry, I forgot to tell you, the restaurant downtown, I am expanding it, and the cost is more than I expected."

"You never told me you were expanding the restaurant?" his mom asked in shock.

"It was a last minute decision, I was going to tell you, but I forgot, just been so busy," his dad said, he sounded agitated and tired.

"Tom, we're still in debt! Or have you forgotten?" she asked with wide eyes.

He'd gone back to his room and shut his door. If he hadn't already felt guilty for everything he'd put his parents through, that night crashed it down on him, like an avalanche, suffocating him, and all he could do was cry.

...

Despite his dislike for any sort of parties, Brendan was forced to make an appearance at the New Year party, held by Trevors fiance, at her club. Trevor insisted it was part of the job and that it could lead to meeting important future clients, so it was _necessary._

He was suited and booted in a fitted shiny black suit, burgundy button up underneath. Hair styled up, tash trimmed, accompanied by a light stubble, he looked posh. His entrance had heads turning left and right, he'd wanted to leave the moment he'd gotten there. The loud music was doing his head in, and he wanted to smash the heads of the overly hyped people, who were acting as if the New Year was going to bring about a big revelation or some kind of reward. To him it meant nothing, but another year of bullshit and broken resolutions that no one stuck to.

"Didn't think you'd make it, looking dashing as always," Grace had appeared out of nowhere, when his eyes began scanning the crowded scene.

"Trevor left me no choice did he?" he replied with a smirk. He respected her, was fond of her independence, and strong personality.

"Well, that's Trev for ya, persistent as always," she quipped.

"Where's he?" he had to lean in close so she could hear.

"He had to go run an errand, will be here soon, meantime, let's get you a drink." She led him towards the bar.

"Ye've done very well with this place," he complimented, as he took a seat on one of the leather stools, appreciated that it was_real_ leather.

"Thank you, took lots of work... What would you like?"

"I'll take anything ye suggest."

"Ay love, can you get this gentleman our New Year's specialty," she called out to one of the barmen, who was stacking up some bottles, his face was obscured by red, white, and green lights. Brendan eyes widened, when the barman turned, towards their direction.

"I... I am gonna go make a quick call, be back," Brendan said suddenly, gaze wavering as he, tapped his fingers nervously against the bar counter, and got off the stool. He headed to the back of the club, and exited out the gray metal door, where there was no one, but trash bins. He leaned against the wall, and let out a heavy breath, and tried to calm the beating of his heart, as the cold breeze aided his feverish skin.

"Brendan?..."

He automatically turned his head, the boy was outside, feet away from him. He'd thought perhaps he was seeing things, hallucinating, but there he was right in front of him, dressed in a black hoodie unzipped half way, revealing a black fitted T-shirt underneath it.

The boy was about to say something, but Brendan didn't give him the chance, he grabbed him by the arm, and pulled him harshly towards a dark area, "What ye doing working here?" he asked thickly through gritted teeth. The boy looked nervous as fuck, but so fucking _beautiful._

"I... I needed a job," he said with quiver in his voice, his eyes were scanning Brendan's face. Brendan looked puzzled for a second.

"Where you kicked out?" he asked with wide eyes. The boy shook his head, "I just... I just wanted to earn my own money."

Brendan let out a heavy sigh, if it had been the latter, he didn't know what he'd do,"Well, do it somewhere else, this place, it isn't for ye," he claimed, as he looked him in the eyes intensely.

The boy looked confused, "Is it because of what my dad did?... I am sorry, he didn't mean it, he-"

"I don't give a fuck what ye dad did, Steven, it was nothing, I've had it worse," he sneered close to his face, his breath puffing out a white mist of cold air.

But he backed away slightly, he couldn't let the boy do it again, pulling him back in with those eyes, those pure blue eyes, that make him forget everything.

The boy shook his, "No..." he said quietly, and stepped closer to Brendan, and reached out his hand, but Brendan slapped his hand away, "Don't touch me," Brendan snarled with a dangerous gaze.

"You're angry, I get that... I do... and I am sorry... I..." the boy cried out, and gripped the lapel of Brendan suit jacket, but it was for a fleeting moment, because Brenda gripped his hoodie, and slammed him against the wall, "I told ye, don't fucking touch me," he growled.

"Why you being like this?" he asked vulnerably.

"Ye just don't get it do ye... I just used ye, like I always do."

"No... I... love you..." the boy let out, his eyes began moistening.

"Shut... up... just shut up," he warned, his fingertips ghostly touching his flushed cold cheeks.

"Please," the boy whimpered. Brendan stared at him for a few seconds before he crushed his lips against his, the softness of them shot a chill down his entire body, he thrust his tongue into the boy's mouth, the taste of him was intoxicating, and made him want more, but he pulled back, mouth parted slightly, emitting hot breaths against the boy's face. Forehead rested against his lightly, "That was a goodbye," he said breathlessly.

"No..." the boy cried out in low whimper, almost like he'd been physically hurt. Brendan let him down, and pushed him towards the door.

"No, please... Brendan," he cried, but Brendan pushed him away, "Go!" he shouted, forcing the boy through the door.

He leaned against the wall, trying to calm the pounding of his heart. He spotted Trevor next to the railing talking to someone, but he didn't care.

"We need to talk," he said, startling Trevor for a second, before he told the other guy to fuck off.

"Did you know about it?" he asked thickly. Trevor looked confused, "About what?"

"Steven, did you know he was working here?"

Trevor looked over to the bar, and noticed the boy at the bar, he raised his brows,"What's the problem with it?"

"The problem? He looks barely, seventeen," he sneered. But obviously it didn't seem to matter to Trevor, who seemed rather amused, he chuckled, "Right, well that didn't seem to bother you."

Brendan let out a low growl.

"If Grace hired him, then I am sure he's capable," Trevor said nonchalantly.

"He's still in Uni, the kid can barely handle himself, let alone run a bar."

"I think what your problem is, you just don't want others getting their hands on him like those two birds over there," Trevor claimed with a smirk, gazing towards the boy who was standing, at the bar talking with two girls. Brendan turned his head, he recognized them instantly, they were the same girls he saw at the Halloween party. He glared intensely, he couldn't help think how good he looked in that tight black shirt, and his thin film of sweat glistening from the yellow light casting against his golden skin. He forced his gaze away, "Ye don't know anything," he growled irritably and walked away.

...

His parents were surprised, when he told them he was going to start driving 'd made that decision once he planned to stay in the dorms for another semester, despite his dad's concern after all that had happened, but he'd managed to convince him that everything was going to be alright, and that the past was the past, and promised Brendan was out of his life, even though he wasn't out of his heart, he was_etched_ there.

As much as it hurt, it was time for a change, to move onto a new chapter in his life, even though he wasn't sure what it was, or where to begin, all he knew he needed to stop causing his parents trouble, and stress which had become apparent. Lately his parents worked every day of the week, unlike before where they would take a day or two off, or take turns, now they were working nonstop, and the effect of it was showed on their faces. He felt like complete shit, felt responsible because he knew they were working hard, to pay off the debt they were trying to keep hidden from him. It's why he searched a job, to help out, at least pay for his own expenses.

It felt like it was the first time he'd learned how to drive, when he'd gotten into his red Mercedes, his heart pounded in nervousness, "I can do this," he said to himself, before he stuck the key in the ignition, purring the beauty to life. He closed his eyes and let out a heavy breath as the garage door opened up, and drove to his first day of work.

He'd seen a flyer near campus weeks prior to the Christmas break, for a club that needed a barman, night time shift. Never had he thought he'd work at a club, but he was desperate, he knew, he couldn't get any other jobs with his class schedules, and he wasn't going to work at his parents' restaurant, because that was still their money. He kept it a secret from his parents, he didn't want them worrying anymore than they already were. Instead told them he was going to do work study at his Uni, so he could at least pay for little things, and not always ask them for money. He could've done work study, but the pay was_too_ little.

Since he'd had some experience serving drinks in his dads restaurant, he thought there was no harm trying out for the position, even if he didn't get it, he'd try to look for something else. He'd been nervous as fuck, and was surprised to see that not many were there for it, but even so he hadn't expected to get it, especially since he'd gone at such late notice, however to his surprise, he'd been hired on the spot, because according to his new Boss, Grace, they were in dire need, and he filled the requirements, and his first day would be on New Years eve.

Stacy and Ronny knew about the job, the only ones. They were more than excited yet skeptical because the Ste they knew was too shy and timid to be working at a place filled with obnoxious people and loud music. So they said they'd visit him on his first day, somewhat as a support and of course to snack a couple of free drinks. So he'd expected them to pop up that night, but what he hadn't expected was Brendan.

He hadn't noticed him at first because of his suit, he'd never seen him in anything but jeans, T-shirts, and leather jackets. His heart pounded when he'd realized it was him, he looked expensive, sophisticated, classy, and so fucking _gorgeous._ He hadn't time to even respond, as Brendan left from the bar. Grace hadn't caught onto anything, she'd been too busy welcoming new people into her club. He'd asked one of the other barman he needed to take a ten minute break, before he grabbed his hoodie and followed Brendan. He wasn't surprised with how cold Brendan towards him, he expected it, but what he hadn't expected, was what he'd said. It broke him completely, and if it weren't for Stacy and Ronny, he wouldn't have been able to continue his shift. He'd realized he'd been stupid to think that he'd quit just because of Brendan. He was just going to have to let it go,_ let it go_ the best he could, even though he felt like his heart was splintering.

"So how do you like it so far?" Ronny asked as she took a sip of her free drink.

"It's... it's nice," he said, with a forced smile as he wiped down the counter, he needed to distract himself from thinking about Brendan.

"What are you going to do for New Years?" Stacy asked, bring him out of his daze.

"Huh?" he asked, his heart was mimicking the pounding of the music. He swallowed a lump in his throat, hoped the sweat on his forehead was not visible in the dim light, "Nothing, really," he admitted.

"I'de say we should go out for drinks, but we're drinking already," she quipped laughing, but was cut short by a costumer.

"Excuse me, can I get the red cherry cocktail?" a man had asked.

"Umm... sure."

"Ready for New Years?" he asked Stacy and Ronny, with a kind smile.

Stacy and Ronny looked the man up and down before they smiled, "Yea... it's bout time we passed this year," Stacy answered.

"Well, hope you enjoy the rest of the night," he said kindly, as he grabbed his drink, and asked Ste if he had a pen. The man wrote something on a piece of paper and slid it towards Ste, "Keep up the great work," he complimented with a wink and walked off with his drink.

Stacy and Ronny's mouth widened, "Oh my God, he was so hitting on you?" Stacy said excitedly, she grabbed the paper from Ste before he could grab it.

"What you doing?" he asked, trying to take it back, but it was too late, her eyes had widened.

"That was Brendan?" she asked with wide eyes.

Ste quickly grabbed the paper from her, his eyes widening too as he saw what the message on it,"No."

"Ste, common, we won't-"

"It's not him alright," he had said frustratingly.

"Then why did he give that to you?"

Ste swallowed, "I... I don't know... Doesn't matter right, Ronny was right."

"What you mean?"

"He was just using me," he said with a frown.

Ronny's expression hardened, and her hands clasped around her drink, like she wanted to break it, but it was Stacy who spoke, tone lace with disappointment, "How do you know?"

"He... he told me."

"When?" Ronny asked thickly.

"Forget about it, right, I gotta go tend to those customers," he said, and tossed the paper in the garbage bin beneath the bar and ignored them as they called out to him. Soon after an announcement was made for everyone to gather outside for the New Years countdown and firework , and Ronny were more than excited, they stood hand in hand, and waited excitedly for the countdown, along with entire crowd.

Grace was giving a little speech about the club and New Years, but his mind was somewhere else, he scanned his eyes around, but he couldn't see him anywhere, just when he was about to give up, he looked up towards the balcony, his gaze caught his.

"10, 9, 8, 7..." the sound of the countdown was mute to him, his focus entirely on Brendan, whose gaze was penetrating through him from above like a laser, as he stood tall, with his hands in his pockets staring down at him as the countdown continued, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2...1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!" The night sky erupted in blasts of colors, while everyone embraced each other with intimate hugs and kisses, while they stood still, staring at each other from where they stood, neither of them taking away their gaze, but then, Ste felt a hand on his arm, breaking his contact, Stacy and Ronny were looking at him, and up at the balcony.

"That was Brendan wasn't it?" Ronny asked. Ste's eyes widened, he swallowed hard, when he turned to look up, Brendan was gone.

...

Brendan groaned in displeasure, as he woke up, his head was banging, after a night of excessive drinking. He kept the day to himself, sat on his couch, since he had a day off so to speak. He was oblivious to the time, when his doorbell rang. He paused the movie he was watching and stood up, and lazily walked towards the door, and opened it, his eyes widened, when he saw who it was.

"What... how did you get here?" he asked, baffled, the boy didn't answer him, instead, jumped at him and wrapped his arms around him and kissed him, knocking him against the wall. He pulled back, "What ye think ye doing?" he asked breathlessly, lips curled in anger.

The boy's eyes widened, "You... you asked me to come," he said. Brendan's brows rose, "What?" he asked in bafflement. The boy reached into his pocket and showed him a piece of paper with a message on it.

_Meet me tomorrow_

_7070 Harrison St, Apt #204_

_Brendan_

Brendan groaned in frustration, "Fucking shit," he cursed.

"That... that... guy who gave it to me, he knows, doesn't he?" the boy said, his eyes somewhat lit with hope.

"I need to ye to leave," Brendan said lowly, not looking at the boy straight in the eyes, his hands fisted, because he wanted nothing more to do than wring Trevors neck because he knew it was him who'd given the boy the message, no one else knew his address or about them.

"No..." the boy said, and walked up to Brendan, looked up at him with doey eyes, "I... I can't do this anymore, please... Brendan..." he tried to touch Brendan's arm, but Brendan backed away, "Please... just admit it, you want me as much as I want you," his tone was desperate and exhausted.

"Steven... one more word..." Brendan warned with a low hiss. The boy shook his head, and turned around, but suddenly, he yanked the boys arm hard and pulled him into a fierce kiss, all tongue and teeth, like he wanted to destroy him, take all his breath away. But the boy kissed him back with the same intensity, and wrapped his arm around his neck, but Brendan took his hands off and turned him around and pushed him over the couch.

He pulled the boys pants down and wasted no time, he spit in his hand and rubbed over his entrance, the boy embraced himself by folding his hands under his face, that was placed against the black leather couch.

Brendan pushed in one finger first, then added two, stretching and fucking him with his digits, making the boy moan obscenely, then soon added three, as he pushed up his shirt and licked up the boys back, up to his neck, and bit the sensitive flesh there, marking him red, making the boy beg for more. He pulled out his fingers and hastily pulled down his sweat pants, gave his cock a few quick strokes, then spit on his hands, lathered his cock with it and then pressed his head against the boys entrance and pushed in, making the boy gasp as he passed his resistance, and began fucking him as he felt up the boy's spine and back, up to his shoulder where he held onto as leverage, as he began fucking him hard, groaning like an animal as the tightness of the boy drove him to the edge.

The boy cried out as he pounded into him, with everything power he had, he'd never been so hard, and aggressive, but he needed it, and knew the boy could handle it, needed to take out all the pent up frustration and anger, and just focus on the pleasure the boy was milking from him. Or else he'd been afraid, he'd do something he'd definitely regret. The couch moved with the ferocity of his thrusts, and the boy cries, and moans echoed in his apartment, the smell of sex quickly took over. He pounded into him harder and faster like a crazed animal, till he came deep inside of him, groaning like a wounded animal, and seconds later the boy came all over his black leather couch. He fucked him through their aftershocks, till their orgasms completely milked them dry. He pulled out, and draped over his sweaty back, and pressed his hot lips against the back of his ear, "I... I need ye to go now," he said in a heavy low tone. It took a couple of seconds before the boy registered what he'd said to him.

"No... " he said, as Brendan headed towards the kitchen, "You can't just fuck me, and tell me to go," he cried out angrily, as he pulled up his pants. Brendan stopped in his tracks.

"That's what ye wanted yea, so I gave it to ye, so now leave," he hissed.

"No... that's not all I want."

Brendan pressed his lips together, "What did ye think was gonna happen Steven? Huh?" he asked thickly, and walked over towards him, "That I would hold ye hand and walk down the street, hopping and singing Merry go round, is that what ye thought?"

He could see the rim of his eyes pooling with tears, he swallowed a lump in his throat, "No... I just, I just want us to be together," he said and walked closer to Brendan.

"We can't."

"WHY?!" he asked stubbornly.

Brendan let out a heavy breath, the boy was making it harder than he'd expected, "Ye dad is right, okay, I am not who ye think I am."

"Please... Brendan, I don't care, okay, I don't care if you've done bad things, or what you do... It doesn't matter to me."

Brendan closed his eyes, and let out a heavy breath, "Ye... ye just don't get it do ye Steven..."

"Why!? You never cared before, so why now!?" the boy asked in anger, tears filled his eyes.

...

Ste looks at Brendan, who's just standing there, his gaze wavering, he lets out a light groan, he presses his lips together, "It's wrong Steven, two men- it's... it's not right."

"I... I don't know what's right or wrong, but what I do know is... it feels so right when I am with you, I've never been so sure of myself as I am when I am with you, and if that makes me gay, then that's what I am."

"I am not like ye Steven," he suddenly hisses. Ste's eyes widen, "Are ye being serious? Do you hear yourself Brendan? You just slept with me, and all the other times, that's not just a one off, or some mistake, or confusion, you want me, and that scares you, but you just can't admit it... Please..." he walks up to Brendan, "Please just admit it," he begs.

"Ye wanna know why I let ye da beat me?" Brendan suddenly asks, throwing Ste off.

"Because I'd do anything to have a da like that, I'd do the same if I were him," he reveals.

"He's not my dad," Ste says it before he can stop himself. He can't handle how Brendan makes him out to be this perfect boy, with the perfect life.

Brendan turns, his eyes wide, "What ye talking about?"

Ste's gaze falters, his stomach feels like it's about to drop, he's never told anyone before.

"Steven?" Brendan calls out to him, walking towards him cautiously.

"I... I... was adopted..." If Brendan wasn't listening carefully he wouldn't have caught it.

His lip twitches, like he's about to say something, but Ste continues, "I was eight, when they brought me home," the memories come flashing back to him, he feels his body beginning to pour out cold sweat, but he goes on, "My my mum, she married... Terry..." he swallows, he's not looking at Brendan, nor at anything else, as his nerves creep up his body. He's afraid to look up at Brendan, or stop, because he won't be able to continue, and he wants, needs Brendan to know, "Terry... he... he used to -" he freezes on his words.

Brendan looks at him with intense eyes, waiting for him to continue, but he doesn't, doesn't know where to start.

"What... what did he do Steven?" he asks in a thick tone.

Stes gaze lowers, his lips quiver, "He..." his voice comes out choked, "he... he hit me.." he reveals quietly.

"Only hit?" Brendan asks cautiously, but almost like he's afraid to know.

"Steven?"

"Just... that."

"Did... did ye mom know what he did?"

Ste nods, lightly.

"So she just let it happen?" he asks thickly, there's a disgust in his tone.

"She said I deserved it," Ste says vulnerably. Brendan just looks at him in bafflement.

Ste swallows, "She... said I... I was a mistake..." he can feel his eyes watering, and he doesn't want to cry, doesn't want Brendan to think he's weak, he can't have Brendan think that more than he already does, so he sniffs, and tries to hold it back. He thinks he hears Brendan let out a groaning sound, almost like he's physically in pain, but he's afraid to look up at him.

"Did... she give ye up for adoption?"

Ste shakes his head, "No... they... died."

"How?"

Ste feels his eyes sting, he swallows a lump, "In a fire," he says faintly.

Brendan just stands frozen, like he's trying to take it all in.

"I... I.." he tries to explain, as the memories of that day begin to flash in front of his face, he feels hot, and sweaty, his eyes stinging from the smoke, body aching from the ropes he's tied down with.

"Steven, Steven?... hey... it's, it's okay, it's okay," Brendan says, and pulls him into his arms. He holds onto him tightly, not wanting to let go,"I am sorry," he whimpers into his chest.

Brendan pulls back and lifts his chin, "Why... why ye saying sorry for, ye have nothing to be sorry about," Brendan says, looking into his eyes deeply, filled with concern. Ste hiccups, his lashes are coated in tears, he knows he looks a mess, so he tries to wipe his tears away, but Brendan does it for him. Brendan leans in, and he thinks he's going to kiss him, so he leans in too, but suddenly, Brendan backs away, and lets out a heavy breath.

"I can't... I can't do this," he says. Ste looks up at him, confused, wondering if he did something wrong, "Brendan... I-" he tries to speak but Brendan interrupts him.

"I am not going to take this away from ye," he says, and Ste doesn't understand what he's saying. He walks up to him, and tries to touch his arm, but Brendan moves away, "Me and ye, we live different lives Steven."

"No..." he lets out in a whimper, he see's what Brendan doing, "We're not... because of you... I -"

"I am not going to pull ye back into that darkness, I am not going to take ye away from them," Brendan cuts him off.

"You're not taking me away from anyone, I want to be with you," he says with conviction.

"Ye can't, okay, ye can't, I am no good for ye Steven, I can't be what ye want, ye deserve better."

Ste shakes his head repeatedly, and holds onto Brendan's shirt, " I don't want anyone else, I want you," he cries.

"Ye don't understand Steven-"

"I do."

Brendan peels his hands off, "The things... the things I've done, I still do... I can't, I won't put ye in between that."

"I told you already, I don't care, right, whatever you've done, I don't care, I don't care," he keeps reiterating, pleading with Brendan.

"Well ye should! Ye should!" Brendan shouts back frustratedly.

"I don't okay! I don't!" he shouts back.

Ste swallows hard when Brendan walks up to him, and stares him in the eyes intensely, lips curled in a snarl,his face only inches away from Ste, "Ye don't care that I killed more people than the amounts of fingers I have, ye don't care that I've cut bodies up to pieces and burnt them till nothing was left, you don't care that I beat people senseless, leave them for dead, ye don't care that I've sold drugs to countless boys like ye, who ended up dying on overdose or ended up in a vegetative state for rest of their lives, ye don't care that I've stolen everything from money, to cars, to whatever ye can fucking think of, ye don't care that I've dealt and still deal with nothing but drugs and illegal shit to live my life, ye don't care that I don't that I don't give fuck about anyone else but myself, ye don't care I use and manipulate people for my gains, you don't care, do ye?" he sneers, breathless by the end of it.

Ste's back has somehow ended up against the wall, unable to move, or speak, face stained with tears, looking up at the man in front of him. He shakes his head, "No... no you're lying, you're lying," he begins hitting Brendan's chest with his hands, but they are weak, and lack energy, "You're lying, you're lying..." he continues, and tears start falling down his cheek, Brendan doesn't say anything, just lets him hit him, eventually he falls down to his knees, next to Brendan's feet, sobbing.


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N Can't believe it's gonna be a year in JAN 16, since I first published this fic, I've never taken this long completing a fic, so I apologize for all the wait you guys had to do with this, and thank you for all those that have still stuck with this story, and as I said before I promise I will finish it. This won't be my last story either, even tho I've noticed not many people are reading and writing Stendan fics anymore, which saddens me, I feel because we don't have stendan on screen anymore, its a reason to write and read more, I personally love Stendan fics, and hope that the stendan authors we have continue writing, even though I know its a lots of work, and life gets busy, but I know I'll try my best to keep writing. Hope everyone had a Good Christmas and happy New Year. Here is the next chapter to start the year off with, hope you enjoy. Love you all! ^_^_

...

**Chapter 14**

**...**

He'd doubted that such selflessness and goodness existed in the world, when his own flesh and blood destroyed any notion of love he might have possessed as a young child, and left him but an empty shell. So the thought that a mere stranger would take in someone and love, and care for them without condition, was an inconceivable concept.

Perhaps the boy had been an angle in the land of Gods and Monsters, that was worth saving, whereas he wasn't because he was a demon child, condemned to eternal darkness. So he couldn't do that to the boy, couldn't pull him into that darkness again.

He'd taken a step back, couldn't let the boy see that he was breaking inside, as much as he'd broken him.

"There's nothing here for ye," Brendan said, as he had faced away from the boy.

His weeping had halted, replaced with heavy breaths, that sounded like he was struggling to breath.

"Why?" his voice was weak, "Why did you protect me?"

Brendan let out a heavy breath as he rubbed his brows in agitation, he hadn't expected it to be so hard.

He turned to face the boy. His cheeks were flushed, and stained with tears, blue eyes glossy, and rimmed red, lips pink, and trembling. It was wrong, how beautiful the boy looked in that state. He had to force his gaze away, didn't trust himself, "Steven-" he tried to speak but the boy cut him off.

"If you are what you say you are, you... You wouldn't have protected me and my dad, you would have taken that money and ran away, you wouldn't have come back, and told me everything, you..." he'd paused for a second, "You wouldn't have told me you cared about me, you wouldn't have made me feel... Like I was worth something, made me feel loved-"

"I can't love Steven, I don't even know what it is," Brendan replied in a low voice almost as if he was telling himself rather than the boy.

"That's not true," the boy protested, his stubbornness was becoming too much, "I am what I am Steven," Brendan replied sternly.

"No... you, you can change, you have changed..." the boy claimed.

He glared at the boy with cold eyes, "I've never changed for anyone Steven, anyone, not even for my sister, so what makes ye think I would for ye?"

The boy looked like fragile glass that had been shattered, and Brendan thought that had been the final straw, but the boy had spoken again, "I thought I'de never see the sun rise, because the world around me was always dark, but then I met you, you made me believe that the darkness I was living in could fade, because of you... I wanted to become something, I wanted to prove that I was worth something, because you made me feel that... You made me feel wanted, even if you didn't... You opened me and embedded that light inside of me," a single tear had strolled down the boy's cheek, "You... You made me smile again."

Brendans swallowed a large lump that had formed in his throat, from trying to hold back his emotions, "If ye stay, I'll break ye, Steven," he looked up at him, "Like I do everything else."

"I am broken already," the boy replied in a frail tone.

Brendan didn't say anything and kept his gaze towards the ground.

"Fine, I'll go, I'll go..." The boy had finally gotten the message, "but not because you want me to, but because I don't want to force you to love me, because I know I'll fail, like I failed with my parents," he said in a broken voice. Brendan felt a tear trail down his cheek, when he heard the sound of the door shut.

_..._

Ste didn't want to believe Brendan was as ruthless, and heartless as he claimed, not when he'd seen his compassionate side, the way loved and cared for his sister, and protected him all those times. That was someone who knew how to love, who knew how to protect, so the only thing Ste could think of, was that Brendan just didn't love him, perhaps cared for and liked, but not love. Maybe he'd just fooled himself into believing it, because he wanted to be loved by him, more than anything he'd ever wanted in his entire life.

He kept the pain inside of and tried his hardest to put it behind himself. He'd told Stacy and Ronny that it was all over with Brendan, when they asked about Him. He didn't tell him he'd gone to his apartment begging for him to take him back, he didn't want them to think he was as pathetic as he already felt.

"That's a shame, he's so hot," Stacy said in disappointment. After she and Ronny had seen him at club on that balcony on New Years, they understood why Ste was so obsessed with him.

"Still doesn't change the fact he's a scam," Ronny had replied with bitterness.

However, they were both glad that Ste could finally move on and not wait around for someone who didn't want him. Though, Ste wasn't sure he could, but he'd try, really try.

He did things he'd never done before in order to help mend his pain and to forget Brendan. Drinking had been a disaster, he'd gotten wasted with only one drink. He'd sworn to never do it again.

Spring semester had come to an end, four months since he'd last seen Brendan. To end the semester, Stacy and Ronnie had a surprise for him.

"You guys getting tattoos?" he asked, when they drove up to a tattoo parlor.

"Yes, we are and so are you," Stacy answered with a grin. His eyes widened, he shook his head, "No... no way, I am not inking myself," he protested.

"Oh come on, live a little, for once do something different, do something bad."

He knew getting a tattoo wasn't really bad, it just wasn't something he'd ever been into, and didn't think it was something his parents would approve of either.

"You're old enough to do what you want Ste, it's not like you're taking drugs," Ronny had said.

But it wasn't only because of his parents, he was also afraid of needles.

"Oh, don't be a weak link," Stacy had said playfully but she was right he thought, he was weak, and perhaps that's why Brendan didn't want him, he would just be a burden to him.

"Okay, I'll do it," he said. Stacy and Ronny had cheered in excitement.

He looked through a booklet of all tattoo designs ranging from simple, to very complicated ones. Stacy and Ronny had already chosen theirs, so they helped Ste with his, but the majority of the ones they chose were too complicated and he just didn't like them.

"I like this," he pointed.

"A butterfly?" Stacy had asked in wonder.

_Terry grabbed him by the hair and dragged him to his room, "If I see light peeking out from under the door, you know what will happen," he warned through gritted teeth and tossed him onto the ground, "Waste of space," he sneered and shut the door and locked himin. His room was basked in darkness, the only light that peered through was from a crack on the wood panel that shielded his broken window from outside._

_After he'd been exhausted from crying, he got up on his bed, wiped his tears and pulled open his tethered, mustard colored curtains that were once white. He pressed his tiny palms and face on the window and peered through the crack. Their small yard was fenced by an old wooden fence bordering a tiny garden of dead flowers his mom had once planted, that were overtaken by weeds. Everthing looked dead, besides a tiny white butterfly, that fluttered over the garden freely._

"It's perfect," Ronny had replied, "Finally, spreading your wing."

Stacy nodded in approval, "Suits you, fragile looking, but strong and beautiful."

He swallowed a lump in his throat.

"What's wrong?" Stacy asked, when he wiped the moisture in his eyes and smiled tentatively.

"Nothing, my eyes are just stinging a bit," he excused. Ronny went first because her's was the most complicated. Stacy had laughed hysterically at Ste's expression when the tattoo artist began was getting ready to ink Ronny.

"It's just a tattoo love, she's not getting surgery," Stacy said. She had gone after. His nerves had kicked up again when it was his turn, "Where do you want it?" The guy had asked, he hadn't thought about the placement. He asked Stacy and Ronny for advice when he couldn't think of it.

"How about here," Stacy pointed to his hip area, "It would be really sexy, plus no one can really see it but you and..." she stopped on her words.

"I agree, it's a very popular placement for guys these days," The guy insisted. Ste took up their suggestion, they knew more than him. It hadn't hurt as much as he'd expected. Once it was finished, the tattoo artist handed him a mirror. A faint smiled appeared on his lips, when he saw the butterfly.

...

He'd look for ones with dirty blonde hair, golden skin and a slim frame, the face didn't matter because he'd fuck them from behind and just imagine it was the boy. He'd toss them out right after and fall against his bed, feeling empty just as much as before he'd fucked them.

That morning after the boy had left his apartment, he'd gone to Trevors place and pounded on his door like a mad man. "Why did ye give him that note!" Brendan shouted in anger.

Trevor chuckled, "Guess it didn't go so well." Brendan wanted to punch him at that moment.

"It wasn't ye fucking business!"

"Was just trying to help," Trevor quipped as he stepped away from the door, and walked towards his living room, "Want some Tea?" he asked, as if nothing had happened.

Brendan looked at him like he'd grown horns on his head. He let out a heavy sigh, there was no point in making a scene, what had happened, happened, perhaps it was for the best he thought, "Make it strong," he replied as he walked inside, and made himself at home on Trevors couch.

"Didn't get much sleep last night?" Trevor asked as he handed him his cup.

"Yea, thanks to ye," he hissed.

Trevor chuckled, as he took a sip of his tea.

"Honestly, I don't know why you put yourself in this limbo, you're not getting any younger."

Brendan glared at him, "I am younger than ye."

Trevor chuckled, "I am already in a relationship."

"I don't do relationships."

"Who said you have to be in a relationship, just open up, live a little, you're stiffer than when I get a woody."

Brendan scrunched his face in disgust, Trevor laughed, then said, "You've got a new client, but still awaiting confirmation," He informed as he sipped on his tea.

Brendan nodded and leaned his head against the couch, and closed his eyes.

"So it's really over between you two?" Trevor asked.

"Nothing ever started," he placed his cup of tea on the coffee table and stood up, "Give me details when you're ready."

"You're gonna end up living with a hundred cats pretty soon," Trevor said in amusement as Brendan walked towards the door. Brendan flicked his middle finger at him and left.

Luckily it wasn't till a week later till his next job, because he needed the time off to mend the ache in his body and clear his mind.

He walked to the hotel, suited and booted, with his suitcase in hand, and rang the doorbell. He was about to call Trevor, when no one answered the door, but then it had opened. His eyes widened when he saw his client. He thought maybe he'd got the wrong room, so he looked back at the piece of paper, nope, right room. So he looked up at his new client, the boy's father who looked liked he was a dear caught by head lights.

"I think we should take this inside," Brendan insisted. The man looked hesitant at first but then made way for him.

"So," Brendan drawled as he sat down on the arm of a leather sofa, and placed his suitcase on the floor, "What is a man like ye self, doing buying drugs?"

"I've... I've never done this before, this.. this is just a one off," the man stuttered. Brendan cocked his head to the side and nodded, "That's what ye think, but once ye get a taste for it, ye keep wanting more, it's very addictive, I would know," he said with humor.

"This is amusing to you isn't, but it's not what you think, I am nothing like you," the man said harshly as if reading Brendan's thoughts. Brendan chuckled, "No... no ye are not, but ye're still a hypocrite," Brendan drawled and looked up at him, "Does ye boy know about this?"

The man lowered his head without answer.

"Of course not," Brendan nodded nonchalantly.

"Look, just... just give me the stuff, take and money, and we'll pretend none of this ever happened okay."

Brendan let out a heavy breath and kneaded his brows, then looked up at him, "I don't think ye realize what ye getting ye self into, it's not as easy as just buying. Ye gonna have to find dealers to buy this stuff off of ye, and ye do realize it's illegal to sell drugs," he almost laughed at the hypocrisy of his own words.

"Illegal?" the man chuckled bitterly, "Yet you do it."

"Me and ye, we ain't the same, it's what I do, it's who I am, I've got nothing to lose, I ain't afraid of the law, but ye, ye got a family, ye got people who love ye, who depend on ye, if... if ye get caught with this stuff, everything ye have worked for, will be gone, because they will think it was all bought with drug money and ye have no way to prove otherwise."

The mans gaze faltered, he ran his hand through his hair, "It's because of you."

Brendan looked up at him with confusion.

"Because of what you did to my son, we're in debt now," he accused. Brendan had forgotten about the money.

"Then how ye planning on buying, this isn't cheap stuff?"

"I took out some loans."

Brendan raised his brows, "So ye put ye self in more debt, in order to eliminate it?"

"It's the only choice, I... we're not making enough profit from the restaurants," he admitted shamefully.

Brendan stared down at his feet for a few second as if in thought, then stood up slowly, grabbed his suitcase, "I'll get ye the money."

The man's eyes widened in bafflement, "What?"

"As ye said it's my fault, so it's only right that I take responsibility."

The man shook his head and turned away from Brendan, "No, no, I am not taking your dirty money."

"It's dirty money either way, only mine is safer," Brendan took out a pen, and wrote his number on a napkin and put it on the coffee table, "Call me when ye've made a decision," he said and headed towards the door.

"Why you doing this?" the man asked, stopping Brendan in his tracks. "Ye said ye want to protect ye son right? Well selling drugs ain't gonna protect him," he said with his back towards him and exited the hotel room.

...

Ste had returned home on a thursday evening, after finishing one of his summer classes, to have dinner with his parents. Once they had finished, his mom handed him an envelope.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Open it," she said with a smile. His eyes widened, when he saw a plane ticket for Hawaii.

"Remember that one time when you saw Hawaii on the travel channel, and said you would like to go there one day, well now you are," his dad said.

Ste's mouth was wide open, he couldn't believe they remembered, it had been long ago, "You want me to go by my self?"

"No, your dad and I are going to, it's been long time since we've gone on a vacation together as a family."

"But... this must be expensive."

"Don't worry about the money love," his mom said. It had been months since he found out about the debt, perhaps it had helped that he'd gotten a job and paid for his own expenses.

He wasn't really passionate about traveling, but for some reason Hawaii had captured his attention, when he'd seen it on the travel channel, he'd been mesmerised by it's beauty, it was like _paradise_, a place he'd never believed he'd be in.

He stood on the balcony of the hotel suite, that his dad had booked. Hawaii was more beautiful in person than he'd seen on TV. The landscape was lush green and smelt of the ocean and fruits. He marveled at the view of the sun setting over the horizon, it painted the sky and ocean with a ray of colors.

"It's so beautiful," his mom said as they walked down down a pebble path way through a park, that looked like a tropical paradise. They went to a ocean side restaurant to meet his dad's friend, James Foltan, an entrepreneur. Ste was surprised when he found out the man owned the restaurant. It blended in with natural surroundings.

"It's just breathtaking," his mom replied when John had asked what they thought of Hawaii so far.

"Definitely has surpassed my expectations," his dad had added. He couldn't lie, the place was amazing, but even so, he wasn't as excited and happy he thought he'd be, but he put on a pretense because he didn't want to ruin the trip for his parents because of his selfishness.

"I assure you, by the end of your trip, you will not want to step foot off this Island," John had said before they had left back to their hotel to get a nights rest.

They'd spent the following four days, touring tourist destinations; museums, parks, beaches, and more restaurants. He started to hate the place, because it invoked these new fantasies and dreams he knew were far from his reach, because they all involved Brendan.

_Walking down barefoot on the sandy beach, drinking coconut water out of fresh cut coconuts, kissing endlessly, like this couple he'd seen on the beach as the sunset, surfing even though he didn't know how to, and wasn't sure Brendan knew, but just the idea of it made his heart flutter, riding bikes down the paths that went through tropical forests and pass waterfalls, hiking up the mountains, even though he'd get tired within minutes. Skating on the black asphalt that ran through the beautiful mountainous towns, standing outside and soaking up the rain during rainstorms, and making love till sunset and sunrise on a canopy bed. _

But they were hopeless fantasies, so he'd buried them because he knew the world they lived in would never allow it.

Hours before they were due to leave to the airport, his parents had asked him to join them outside in front of the hotel garden.

"Ste, your dad and I have something to tell you," his mom said. Ste was worried that something had happened, because they looked nervous.

"What is it?" he asked as he sat down next to them on a wooden bench.

"We've been talking these last two days, and we know how much you love it here and we do too, so we've been thinking, that... we'd come back here again."

"Oh, of course we can, why do you guys need my permission?" he asked, he didn't see the problem in visiting again.

"We mean, to come back here and stay permanently," his dad had corrected. He looked at them dumbfounded. He averted his gaze away from his parents, not wanting them to see his disappointment.

His mom gripped his hand between hers, and held it, "I know it's sudden, but just think about it for now."

"Is, is it because of me?" he asked.

"No, no ofcourse not," his dad interjected, "It's just we're always working, working to keep all the restaurants running, and me and your mom we're not getting any younger, we want to spend more time together as a family."

"What about the restaurants?"

"We'll sell them, we can buy one here, something more simple."

"It would be amazing, we would wake up to this paradise everyday," his mom said with a warm smile.

The thought of moving away permanently, made Stes his heart sink, it had never crossed his mind that they'de ever move and it scared him, but he couldn't tell his parents the reason.

"Give me sometime, to think about it," he had said.

...

It almost felt like a weight was lifted off Brendan's shoulder, when the boys dad had called him days later, after he'd met him at the hotel that day. He took up on Brendan's offer to pay off their debt, but only on one condition, that he'd promise to never see the boy again. Brendan had replied, "Don't worry, I've no intention on seeing ye son again." He thought it was an ironic ultimatum, because it meant the man knew that he cared about the boy, but yet wanted him to stay away, however he understood, because even though Brendan cared, it didn't mean he was _good_ for the mans son, he knew that himself.

Brendan had suggested he'd transfer the entire amount of the debt, 230,000 into a private bank account, where the man could later transfer bit by bit into his account to avoid any suspicion, and make it seem like it was the profits from his restaurants that were coming in. The boys dad had been hesitant at first, but realized he'd had no easier choice. After he'd given that money he somehow felt even more distant from the boy, because there was no more reason to ever see him again.

There were times he'd forced himself to stay away from Graces club, because Trevor had informed him that the boy still worked there. And it took him all his willpower to not go in there, he wished he could see the boy just one more time because he felt like he was forgetting what the boy looked like, sounded, felt and tasted like. But he couldn't, because he knew it would only make it harder, he'd miss him even more than he already did, and want him again, and he couldn't do that, not when he'd built that barrier up once more, he couldn't let the boy break it down again. He'd just wished he could erase him from his memory, that way he could perhaps move on, and continue to dwell in own miserable dark world.

It was dark out, when he'd returned from another job. He'd frozen, when he saw a dark figure stood next to his door, it's face obscured by a dark shadow.

"Walker?" Brendan said baffled, when the figure revealed itself. Walkers was covered in a light beard and his hair had grown longer, he was dressed all black.

"Surprised to see me Brendan?" he asked as he walked towards slowly, like he had all the time in the world.

"When did ye wake up?" Brendan asked baffled.

"You'd known if you were there," he said with bitterness.

"I had no idea, the doctors said they'd ring me, if ye did."

Walker chuckled, "Right, that must be why they didn't know who you were when I asked for you."

Brendan looked at him in confusion, "What ye mean, of course they know me, I was the one who visited ye all the time."

Walker raised his brows, "That's not what Danny said."

Brendan let out a bitter laughter and shook his head, "Of course, of course he did must've threatened the docs or something, and I suppose he's returned."

"Living the high life now I see, since you've abandoned the team," he said as he eyed up Brendan in his expensive suit.

"It's not what ye think," Brendan drawled thickly, "Danny left me, I almost got killed because of him."

"He left you because you betrayed him for a boy."

Brendan swallowed, he didn't know why he'd thought that Danny wouldn't tell Walker everything, of course he would, only way to turn him against him. Yes Walker was his friend, but he was more loyal to Danny, because the man had saved his life, more than once, and took him under his wing.

"I didn't... I was trying to stop him from making a big mistake."

Walker laughed out, "Mistake? You've never left all those other times he made a mistake," he mocked.

"It's more complicated than that," Brendan replied thickly.

"Well, you're going to have to explain that complication to Danny, because he's been waiting for me to find you, so you have two options. One, you come with me and deal with the consequences... or two, give us the boy and we let you go, free of charge."

His eyes must've given it away because Walker smirked, like he'd won a prize.

"We'll take your car, I'll drive, will come for my motorcycle tomorrow, parked in on the side," Walker said with a smirk. Brendan knew he could fight Walker, kill him right there and then, but that would put the boy in danger and he couldn't risk that again.

"You don't have to do this Walker, you don't have to continue being Danny's lap dog," Brendan tried to persuade before Walker opened the car door.

"You see, I was hoping it was all a lie, that it was just a misunderstanding, that'd you would deny it all, but I guess I gave you too much credit," Walker said as he opened the door, ignoring his remark.

"I know what's he's done for us Walker, but Danny, he'll use you Walker, he'll end up screwing you over," he tried again.

"Not unless I screw him over, just get in," Walker ordered. After about an half hour, Walker pulled up in front of an old abandoned mill.

"We're here," he said with a smug smirk. He'd seen the place before.

_"We're here," Walker said as they got out of a car, Brendan had nicked, though he didn't have his license at the time, he was a better driver than Walker. He was seventeen, barely had any facial hair, but he looked older than his age._

_Walker lead him to the back of the building, behind it was parked a number of motorcycles. "Just be cool and don't look scared, Danny can smell fear miles away," Walker warned, when he noticed the nervousness in Brendan's eyes. He followed Walker down an old rustic metal staircase, down to some underground chamber._

_"We're here!" he called out as they made it to the bottom. Brendan froze, the entire gang was staring at him intensely like hawks, and in front of them was their leader, Danny Houston, dressed in a crisp suit, walked towards him, he was shorter than Brendan, but intimidating. He looked Brendan up and down, "So, you're the Brendan Brady, Walker has been talking about, was expecting bit more to be honest, but since you're here, that shows you've got the guts," he said and patted Brendan on the cheeks bit hard, but Brendan stood and didn't flinch, looked Danny in the eyes, as Walker had told him to do. _

_"So you ready for this?" he asked. Brendan nodded, "Anything ye want me to do," he said, and he meant it because it was the only way he could, he knew how to provide for his sister Cheryl and protect her. Suddenly he heard muffled noises, but he couldn't see anything._

_"Boys, move aside," Danny ordered. His eyes widened when he saw what it was, it was his dad tied up to a chair, and gagged. He thought he was having a nightmare that it was just his imagination making him see things, but then Danny had spoke and brought him back to reality. _

_"So from what Walker has told me, this man... no this sick vile thing here, abused and beat you when you were a child?" Danny asked. Brendan didn't answer, he thought he had escaped the monster, that he'd never have to face him again, but there he was in __front of him, helpless. Just seeing him again made his entire body shiver with goosebumps, and all he wanted to do was turn back and run away again, but he couldn't. _

_He hadn't intended on telling Walker, he'd been drunk one night, when they went out for a drink after he'd gotten into a fight with his sister over being arrested for stealing a TV from the neighbors. Walker had gotten Danny to get him out, and promised that Brendan would pay back one day. He'd been drunk and they had been talking and somehow the subject of parents had come out._

_"Seamus... he abused me, when I was... when I was eight." He didn't realized that Walker knew it wasn't just physical abuse he was talking about, because he knew Brendan, a boy like him wouldn't cry over being just beaten._

_He'd never expected for Walker to actually hunt him down._

_"Now it's your turn to take the power back," Danny said. Walker walked over to Seamus and pulled his gag out his mouth and pulled his hair back, "Look at him, you sick shit, look at him," he demanded. Brendan couldn't look at him, it make his skin crawl. _

_"Fuck you," Seamus sneered, earning him a punch to the gut._

_"Brendan, he's in now in your mercy, he can't hurt you," Danny said, when he noticed how Brendan had slouched, like he was trying to hide._

_"Why?" Brendan suddenly had asked, his tone was low, vulnerable, but the bitterness was there,__"Why did ye do it?"_

_"I didn't do anything," he replied back with a growl. Walker pulled his hair back, "You fuck! Tell him, Tell him why you, his own father would do such a sick thing to him, look him in the eyes and tell him!" he shouted in Seamus's face._

_Seamus's mouth twitched, as was forced to look Brendan in the eyes. _

_"Whatever he's told you is a lie," Seamus sneered in disgust. Walker spit on him and punched him again and pulled his head back hard, making the old man groan in pain._

_"I... I didn't okay... I never did anything, he's sick in the head," Seamus growled. Brendan couldn't believe he was still denying it, he suddenly grabbed a sharp piece of glass that was on the ground and charged him, held the shard to his neck and shouted, "YES YE DID! YE RAPED ME YE SICK FUCK! I WAS ONLY EIGHT YEARS OLD! EIGHT!" He shouted, spit was flying out his mouth, "SO TELL ME, TELL ME WHY! TELL ME!" _

_Seamus looked frightened and shocked, because Brendan had never once even raised his voice at him, let alone shout in his face. _

_"Okay, okay!" he cried out, he swallowed, "I wanted it to stop it, I did, so bad, I wanted too, but I... I don't know why, I couldn't, you were so tiny and I just didn't know how to stop, but I wanted to so badly, but when night time came, I don't know what came over me, I... I am sorry, I was so wrong, I am sorry, I am so sorry," he said with, his eyes had began to moisten. Hearing him apologize, seemed to lift off this weight he'd been carrying on his shoulder, even though it was just words. He pulled back the shard, and stepped back, almost like he'd been defeated._

_"That's it, you're gonna forgive him because he said I am sorry?" Danny asked in bewilderment. _

_"What... what do ye want me to do?" Brendan asked._

_"KILL HIM THAT'S WHAT! A SICK FUCK LIKE HIM DOESN'T DESERVE TO LIVE!"_

_"I can't," he said in low vulnerable tone, he always wanted to, but even so, he couldn't imagine killing his own dad, he wasn't that heartless. _

_"You know what he said before you arrived?" Danny asked thickly, "He asked me if I had fucked you, because that's what you like, because you're not a man, but a girl," Danny sneered. _

_"No he's lying!" Seamus had shouted. _

_"Tell your self Brendan, why would he suddenly change, after all those years, huh?" Danny asked. "A leopard can't it's spot," he added when Brendan failed to answer. _

_"Danny's right Brendan, he'll never change," Walker added._

_"Fuck you!" Seamus spat earning him another punch to the gut. _

_Danny walked up to Brendan, and handed him a gun,"Take the power back."_

_His hand trembled__ as he gripped onto the gun, looking down at it, and up at Seamus, who was pleading with him with his eyes, shaking his head, "Don't do it son, I am your father and I know, I know I've made mistake-"_

_"Do it Brendan!" Danny shouted. _

_"Don't listen to him! PLEASE! Don't!" Seamus begged. _

_"Kill him and you're in!" Danny shouted back._

_"He's just using you!" _

_"DO IT!" _

_"__I love you!" _

_The flashback of what his dad did to him all those years and the shouting made his head spin. He gripped his head, and shouted, "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" silencing everyone. He moved his hands away from his head, and charged up to Seamus, "Ye don't rape the person ye love! Ye don't RAPE THEM!" He shouted in his face, and put the gun towards his temple. For the first time in his life, he saw the fear in his dads eyes, real fear, the fear he had every time he'd hear his footsteps coming up the stair every night for eight years and he couldn't run away, because he had no power to fight him._

_"I am sorry son, I am so sorry," Seamus cried._

_"He's lying Brendan! Just__ do it!" Walker said._

_"I... I can't I can't," Brendan said, he pulled back, his dad always managed to revert him back him that pathetic little boy he always was._

_"If you don't do it, it will just prove you are the pansy he thinks you are." _

_"I am not," Brendan growled._

_"Then do it! S__how him you're a man!" Danny shouted. _

_"He's no man, he never-" BAMP! Seamus wasn't able to finish his words as his head lulled back, the splatter of his blood all slashed all over him and Walker. Everyone just stared in shock, frozen. The gun was still in his hands, when Danny pulled him over and held him into his arms, "Good lad, you did it, it's over now, it's over," he said. Brendan wept in his arms, but it was the last he ever cried in front of Danny or anyone else. _

But now there he was again, fifteen years later.

"Deja vu, Brendan?" Danny asked with a smirk, as his gang stood firmly behind him just like then, instead now they were bigger and stronger.

...

He should've known, it was all a set up, but he was blinded by his love and concern for Brendan, that he didn't think straight, when he received a phone call one Friday evening while watching a movie with Stacy and Ronny at home, while his parents were at work.

_"Hello?"_

_"Is this Ste Hay?" a male voice asked._

_"Umm, yes, who is this?"_

_"I am Brendan's mate... I don't know how to tell you this."_

_Ste his heart started to pound frantically. _

_"He's... he's been in an motorcycle accident."_

_His phone dropped out his hand, he lost all color in his face, and eyes began to water._

_"Hey, what's wrong?" Stacy and Ronny asked worriedly. _

_"B... Bren... he ...h__e... he..."_

_"He what? Was that him?" Ronny asked with wide eyes. _

_"He... he had an accident."_

_Stacy and Ronnie froze,__"Is... is he okay?" _

_Ste shook his head, "I... I don't know." __Stacy and Ronny felt terrible, they didn't know Brendan, but they knew how much Ste loved him._

_"Where is he, we will take you," Ronny suggest instantly. Ste looked at them hesitantly, "I... don't know."_

_"Call his mate back," Stacy insisted. Ste grabbed the phone, his hand was shaking. He pressed the call button and held it to his ears, heart pounding._

_"Hey, you alright?" the voice on the phone asked, before Ste could say anything._

_"Where is he?" he asked in choked tone._

_"He's in the hospital, it's a small one outside of town, I'll text you the address if you want."_

_"Please, I'll be there soon," he had said, and then hung up, seconds later the address had been sent._

_"What about your parents?" Ronny asked, he hadn't thought of that._

_"Just text them and say you're staying at ours tonight," Stacy had suggested. They'd driven down to the address that was given to them, but they couldn't find the hospital the man had told them that was there. So Ste had called the guy back because he thought maybe he'd given the wrong address._

_"I am here, but I don't see the hospital," he said. The guy told them it was hard to find it, so he told them to wait there, that he'd come get them because he lived close by. They had waited for about five minutes and soon a motorcycle had driven up to them. _

_"You know him?" Ronny asked._

_"No, he said he's Brendan's mate," he said, and rolled down his window. _

_"Sorry for making you wait, didn't know your mates were coming too," the man had said when he lowered his head and saw Stacy and Ronny. _

_"We were there when you called, so we thought we'd come with him for support," Stacy had replied instead._

_"Nice mates you got there," the man said and reached into his pocket , for a second they had been scared, but it was his phone, he turned it towards them, "Just incase you guys thought I am some crazy psycho," he said playfully, showing them a picture of him and Brendan, their arms over eachothers shoulders, smiling. _

_"Just follow me," the man had insisted. They followed the guy for about ten minutes, towards an abandoned building. It was then Ste felt something was off, but before he could say anything, their car was surrounded by a gang roaring motorcycles. He had no idea what was happening, but then he'd seen Danny come off one of them, and his heart sank. The man who said he was Brendan's friend, forced them out the car._

_"You can go now," Danny had said to the man._

_"Long time no see Ste," Danny had drawled with a merciless grin as he approached them, "See you got two of your girlfriends with you too," he touched Stacy's cheek. _

_"Don't touch her!" Ronny shouted. _

_"Oh fisty mates you got, this gonna be interesting."_

_"What... what do you want?" Ste asked with a trembling tone. _

_"You will know soon enough, take them in," Danny had ordered three of his boys. Stacy and Ronny were shouting and screaming, demanding to know what was going on. _

_"They are doing this because of Brendan aren't they!?" Ronny had shouted. Ste just cried, because he knew it was and there was nothing he could do about it. They were tied up in chairs and shut up with gags. He didn't know what they were waiting for or what Danny was going to do, all he knew it wasn't anything good. _

His eyes widen when he hears Danny call Brendans name, but he can't see him because all the members of the gang are shielding his view.

"Move aside boys," Danny orders and his heart sinks, when he see's Brendan stood there, with a look of horror on his face and next to him, the guy who'd tricked them.

"He looks good doesn't he," Danny asks him, as he grips the lapel of Brendans suit and straightens it, "Looks very expensive," he remarks.

"Ahhhh, come on, don't tell me you both gonna get shy on me now," Danny quips, then looks to Brendan whose face is scrunched with unimaginable anger.

"This is between us Danny, so let them go," Brendan says through gritted teeth. Danny laughs out, "You must be really naive or stupider than I thought, he's the reason we're in this mess."

"No, ye did this Danny, I warned ye, warned ye not to do it."

Ste doesn't know what Brendan's talking about, but it doesn't matter, because it doesn't change the situation they are in any bit and all he can do is stare at Brendan.

"You see this boys, I told you, this is what happens when you fall in love, this what it does to you, weakens you," Danny blurts out to his gang. And Brendan doesn't deny it and his heart starts to beat faster. It shouldn't, but it is.

"I guess your dad was right after all, you are a queer," Danny sneers and Ste's eyes widen, when Brendan tries to attack Danny, but soon is restrained by four of the gang members. Danny laughs out loud, "He doesn't know does, he?" he asks looking towards Ste. Ste doesn't know what Danny's talking about but the fear in Brendan's eyes show that it's something serious.

"Don't, please, I'll do whatever ye say," Brendan pleads.

Danny nods, "Alright, I won't say anything, but as long as you answer me one thing, Why?..." He's looking straight into Brendan's eyes, "Why did you choose him over us?"

Ste doesn't believe what he's hearing, none of it makes sense. Brendan choosing him over them? He looks at Brendan, while his heart is pounding in anxiousness and nervousness awaiting his answer.

"I didn't choose," Brendan replies. Ste's heart sinks, and he knows it's not the time for him to be thinking about what Brendan feels about him, but he can't help it. He feels his eyes watering.

"You tried to kill me, to save him," Danny pointed harshly towards Ste, "So, come on, tell me?" he asks thickly, "Tell everyone here, the reason why you've betrayed us, betrayed me. After all we, _I've_ done for you, I made you part of this family, gave you everything-" Dannys tries to finish but Brendan cuts him off, "I know alright, and I'll never forget that, but If ye just had listened to me, none of this would have happened, all of this, it has nothing to do with him."

"Oh really, that so? Okay, fine... open him," Danny orders.

Ste's heart starts pounding in fear as Walker, walks towards him and cuts him loose, then grabs him by the hair and drags him towards Danny. Behind him, Stacy and Ronny protest under their gags, but it's only muffled noises that escape their mouths. Danny then grabs him and grips his face harshly and angels it towards Brendan, who's face is painted in utter trepidation, "He must be really fuckable?" he says and then is suddenly he's tossed to the ground, the gravel cuts into his skin, and the memories come flooding back of all the times Terry would throw him onto the ground and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it, but cry.

"Just do what ye want to me Danny, I screwed this up, it's my fault okay, so please, just let him go," Brendan begs.

"Don't worry, I am not going to hurt him," Danny says, "But _you _are."


	15. Chapter 15

A/N Hiya! My beautiful readers, just want to give a heads up to everyone who's still reading this story, I am not sure how many more chapters are left for this fic, but the journey is coming to an end soon, and I just want to say thank you very much for all your support and lovely reviews that have kept me motivated and going. MEANS SO MUCH! And its such a pleasure entertaining you all with my writing, and i want to apologize for the mistakes that are there, I sometimes don't catch them, lol... LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH! Anyways here's the next chapter.

**...**

**Chapter 15**

**...**

Perhaps the boy had set fire to his cold heart, because the thought of hurting him was inconceivable.

"Just kill me," he said.

Danny broke out in a menacing laughter as he clapped his hands, "Wow, Brendan, I guess you don't know me after all," his expression turned serious, "Killing you isn't gonna satisfy me."

"Then what do ye want? Is it cash, because I can get any amount, just name it."

Danny raised his brows, "As tempting as that sounds, this is one thing I am not doing for money."

"I'll do anything ye want- just please let him go," he begged.

"There is no room for negotiations here Brendan, you're lucky I haven't already blown off his head," Danny sneered in aggravation, his patience was running low, "so I'll tell you again, you bash him and I will let you all go," he paused, "but, if you don't do it," he gripped the boys hair and forced him up, making him cry out, "We will do to him, what ya dad did to you," he drawled thick and slowly, making sure Brendan knew what he was referring to. Brendan's blood ran cold at the thought.

"So which is it?" Danny asked. Brendan clenched his jaws, "Okay," he said in low bitter tone.

"Okay, what?" Danny asked with amusement, though the son of a bitch had obviously heard him too.

"I'll do it, I'll fucking do it," he spat. The boy started to sob; tears cascaded down his dirty flushed cheeks, while his friends protested under their gags, helpless.

For the first time since he was a child, Brendan felt completely helpless and powerless. He had to avert his gaze from the boy, he couldn't stand looking at him; terrified, vulnerable and so childlike. He wanted to rip his chest out, to stop the pain he was in seeing him like that. If he'd only pushed the boy away earlier, then they wouldn't have been in that situation.

He swallowed a lump in his throat, turned and shook his head, "I... I can't, I fucking can't," he cried out, realizing it wasn't going to be easy. He couldn't do it.

"Yes you can, you have no choice," Danny hissed. He looked towards Walker, who's back was resting on the brick wall, hands in pocket, looking smug, while the rest of the gang was standing there staring at him, waiting, like a fucking game was about to start.

"Fucking hell," he gripped his head, "Why ye doing this? Why?!" he burst, his vein popping from his forehead.

"WHY?" Danny reiterated thickly, "Lads you fucking hear this, he's asking me why I am doing this?" He laughed like a crazed man, then curled his upper lip, expression serious, "Because you're fucking pathetic, look what he's turned you into, it's disgusting, you're crying like a fucking fag over this piece of shit," he tugged the boys' hair back harder, to make a point, the boy cried out in agony.

Brendan couldn't respond, his fists clenched together, and all he wanted was the walls to collapse around him, for it all to end.

"The bomb is ticking," Danny warned thickly, his gaze switched from the boy to Brendan.

"Do it," he hissed.

"He's a pussy, what you expect," Walker had spat. Brendan sneered, and before he realized what he'd done, the boy had gasped in pain, clenching his stomach. Danny pulled him upwards, and held back his hands, "You call that hitting?! Do it right, or we'll finish it for you!" he shouted.

So he punched him again, and he couldn't stop the tears that poured from his eyes.

"HARDER! What you a fucking girl!" Danny roared.

_"You're weak lil girl, ye not Brendan anymore, from now on, you are Brenda," his dad sneered in his face, a filthy smirk on his nasty mouth that smelled of alcohol and tobacco._

"That's enough," Walker had suddenly said, pulled his arm back, he'd noticed his hand then, covered in blood. He turned his head, and his stomach dropped, his breath heavy, and heart pounding frantically. The boy was limp in Danny's arm, blood all over his face. He stumbled back, couldn't believe he'd done it.

"I don't see what you see in him, he's so fucking weak," Danny jabbed. He dropped the boy onto the ground. Brendan froze as he stared at the boy on the ground, not moving. Danny walked behind him, and padded him on the shoulder, "Good boy," he whispered in his ear, and then suddenly gasped when he felt a sharp pain in his back, "You're out," he said thickly. Before he could realize what had happened, he dropped to the ground, next to the boy.

...

Ste's eyes had opened slowly, taking in the white light above him.

"How are you feeling?" A voice asked.

He turned his head slowly, noticed Stacy sat next to him, her hand cupping his, she looked exhausted. She sniffed, as she held onto his hand tighter.

"How... How did I get here?" he asked in a hoarse voice. Her gaze lowered, she looked hesitant before she spoke, "Me and Ronny brought you, you were unconscious."

He stayed silent for a few moments, trying to remember what had happened. But all he remembered was Brendans eyes, there was no light in them, like he'd been possessed, as he hit him over and over again. Then the rest had become blank. His eyes began to water, he swallowed, "Where is Ronny?" he asked.

"She went out to make a call, Your parents are on their way, we didn't tell them what happened tho, we just said you were mugged on your way to our apartment."

A tear ran down his cheek, Stacy wiped it off, "Hey, it's gonna be okay," she said gently.

"When Danny said all that stuff about Brendan... and how it's my fault for what he-"

"No!" Stacy cut him off, "It's not your fault. He just said that to rile Brendan up. You didn't make Brendan gay, you're born that way, he just didn't realize it, till he met you, it was his choice to start things with you."

He lowered his gaze, "I am so pathetic..."

"No, no you're not," she gripped his hand tightly.

"If, if I hadn't fallen for him, none of this would've happened."

Stacy looked at him with sympathy, "You don't choose who you fall in love with Ste, and I... I know it's hard to accept what he did, but you have to understand he did it to protect you."

"I... I know... I know he doesn't love me, but... but I didn't think he'd go through with it..." he cried.

"Ste they were going to hurt you badly, if he didn't."

"I'de rather they had."

"You don't mean that," Stacy said.

"I... do, because I... I don't want my last memory of him to be him beating me... I-"

Ronny walked in at that moment, she smiled widely, when she saw he'd woken up, "Hey there, just talked to the nurse, she said you should be out of here in no time," she said with hope, and sat next to Stacy.

"Where... Where is he?" he asked in a low tone.

"Who?" Ronny asked.

"Brendan..." he said quietly, as if saying his name was wrong.

Their gaze faltered.

"Please... tell me?" he begged in vulnerable tone, "Is... is he okay?"

"He... he got stabbed," Ronny replied. He froze, his heart started to hammer in his chest.

"He's... he's okay though? Right, he's okay?" he asked in a raspy voice.

"I am sorry," Stacy said. It was like time had suddenly stood still, his body felt numb inside and out.

His mom and dad had walked in at that moment, fear etched on their faces.

"Oh my god," his mom cried as she saw the state he was in. Ribs bandaged, and face bruised, covered in bandages. She started crying, holding onto Ste's hand, "It's okay love, we're here now, we're here," his mom said as she kissed his hand over and over again, wiping away the tears that poured down his cheeks. But he didn't respond. He looked like he was in a different world.

"Are you guys sure you didn't see the guys faces?" his mom asked in despair.

"They ran away before we saw them," Stacy said.

"Why don't you guys go home, you must be exhausted," Ste's dad had suggested.

"I am so sorry," Stacy had whispered in his ear, before she kissed him on the temple and left. He hadn't told them goodbye nor spoke any word as they left. He just stared out the window as the darkness consumed the horizon.

...

When he looked into the mirror, he saw the reflection of the devil. Because only the devil in him could have done what he did. He'd wished he had died, that day. Wished that Danny had stabbed him till there was no place left unwounded. He deserved it. But perhaps it was his punishment, dying would've been a cowards way out. He'd not have to face the guilt of what he did.

He had struggled to reach towards the boy, who was unconscious. He cried out for him, but it was in vain, because the boy didn't move. Then he'd realized the boy's friends were still there, tied up. So with the energy he had left, he crawled towards them, and untied them, but fell back, on the ground, struggling to breath. They tried to help him, but he refused, "No... Just... take him, take him..." he said in a breathless tone.

"We'll come back for you," one of them had said, as they hoisted the boy up, wrapped his arm around their shoulders.

"No... don't, just take him, I'll, I'll call someone," he replied.

"Wait," he called out as they were about to leave, "If... if he asks for me, just... tell... tell him I am dead."

They had frozen, a look of disbelief painted on their faces.

"Please... Just do it, it's... It's the only way I can protect him," he said in a heavy breath. They didn't say anything, just nodded, they had tears in their eyes. He watched as they disappeared through the entrance. He closed his eyes, slowly he felt himself drifting off, but then his phone had rung. He reached for it with his shaky hands, and pressed the speaker, because he didn't have the strength to hold it.

"Brendan?" Trevor answered. He groaned, as he tried to speak.

"Brendan? What's wrong?" he asked in panic.

"I... am... I..." he wasn't able to finish speaking, as he lost consciousness.

He'd woken up, at the hospital with Trevor by his side. Trevor had luckily been able to track his phone down, and found him just in time. He'd told Trevor everything, he had too. He wanted Trevor to tell him he was a monster, a ruthless piece of shit, a coward, someone who deserved to die. But what he'd said was the complete opposite, "You really do love him don't you?"

He shook his head, "No... I don't deserve to love him, not after what I did."

"Do you prefer that Danny had hurt him instead?" Trevor asked in ridicule, though he didn't know what it was that he had planned.

"Ye... ye didn't see what I did Trevor, I almost killed him," he said with disgust.

"He's okay tho?"

"Okay?" Brendan spat, "He'll never be okay, not after what I did, do... do ye know what he told me? That... that day he came to my flat..." he paused for a moment, as the flashback of the boy's face came to memory, "He told me I was the only light in his life, how could I be? When I am made of complete darkness...I had too, I had to push him away, because I didn't want to hurt him... just the thought of it made me sick... but..." he gritted his teeth, "I did... I fucking hurt him, I hurt him bad Trevor, I... I fucking killed that light inside him," his voice was hoarse and raspy by the end, the tears he had tried to contain, spilled.

Trevor just had stared at him in complete silence, he understood Brendan

A month had passed, and memories of that night kept haunting him, rid him of sleep. It ate him up every day, more and more.

He drove down the dark road, on his motorcycle, dressed in black from head to toe. He ignored the buzz of his phone. Nothing mattered at the moment, not the drugs, not the money, nothing.

The club was empty, and dim as he stepped inside. He could hear the music playing as he walked up the metal staircase.

...

_I don't have the heart to hurt you_

_It's the last thing I want to do_

_But I don't have the heart to love you_

_Not the way you want me to_

_Inside I am dying_

_To see you crying_

_How can I make you understand_

_I care about you…_

_You're so trusting and open_

_Hoping that love will start_

_But I don't have the heart, oh, no _

_I don't have the heart..._

_..._

A sound had suddenly come down from the storage room. He noticed the office door was open, so he checked inside, it was empty. He turned and slowly headed down to the storage room, the door was open slightly. He pushed it open, Danny was Stacking up crates.

"Boo," He said in a menacing tone. Danny turned hastily, eyes widened in surprise. Brendan looked like a possessed man, lower lip jutted out, eyes dark and dangerous, "Don't worry I am not a ghost."

Danny let out a menacing laughter, "You're alive because I didn't kill you on purpose," he bit back.

"Yea, well, ye made a big mistake Danny boy," he drawled, and slowly closed the door.

"So, how's the queer doing? You fucked him up real bad, didn't think you had it in you," Danny mocked.

Brendan's upper lip twitched, "Don't fucking talk about him," he warned.

"Why not? He not fuckable anymore?"

"Shut up," Brendan warned through gritted teeth, his knuckles turned white.

"I am really curious now... I mean for him to have turned a man like you into such a pansy, he must really be something, but then again, it's what you've always been."

"I said shut up," Brendan roared.

"Ahhh, now that I think about it, now I know why he attracted you, he resembles... what was his name... Vinny... so young, blonde hair, scrawny, that poor lad, only if I had listened to him then."

Brendan felt like his nerves were going to burst with the rage boiling inside of him.

"You know what, I think I just might pay your lover boy a little visit later on and test it out, and see-" Danny wasn't able to complete his sentence, as he was knocked down to the ground by a fly fist, and before he could rise, Brendan grabbed a brick on the ground that was used to hold up the crates. He smashed Danny's head with it, shouting, Shut up, over and over again, as memories of the boy flashed before his eyes. He pulled back breathlessly, his face was covered in splatters of blood. A sound from behind startled him. He turned his head around. Trevor was standing there, with wide eyes. He dropped the brick to the ground.

"Fucking hell Brendan," he said as he saw Danny's body. Brendan remained silent, he just stared at the corpse on the ground, unrecognizable. Everything seemed hazy, he felt like he was on some kind of drug, because he couldn't feel anything.

"Is... is he okay?" he asked in a cold monotone. Trevor looked at him like he was insane, "Brendan, you've smashed his fucking head in."

"Huhhh" he said, looked upwards, eyes rolled in the back of his head, he looked deranged.

"Brendan, Brendan, Hey," Trevor pulled him up, "Listen to me, we gotta get rid of his body before anyone comes," he said. But Brendan didn't respond, just stared at Danny's body on the ground.

"Look at me Brendan," Trevor said, gripped his shoulders, "We gotta get rid of his body."

Brendan nodded, he sniffed, and tried to get back into his state of mind. It's not that he hadn't killed before, but the reason why he'd done it and how he'd done it, was completely alien. Trevor had retrieved a large black bag that was in the storage room and taped it up.

"Does Danny have cameras in the club?" Trevor asked.

"Yea... I think..." Brendan said, he was still somewhat still in a daze. "You clean up the blood, while I go look for it." he said. Luckily he was able to retrieve the tape in the office. Trevor had brought his car to the back of the club, so they could put Danny's body inside the trunk.

He gave the tape to Brendan, "Burn it along with your clothes, I'll deal with the rest," he had said to Brendan and drove off before Brendan had gotten a chance to speak.

Brendan then too got onto his motorcycle and drove off into the night. He did as Trevor had asked, then headed into the shower.

The scorching hot water cascaded down his body, washing off the blood on him.

...

His mom headed up to his room one evening to give him his dinner. She knocked on his door, but he didn't open it, so she let herself in.

He was laid on his bed, eyes closed.

"Love, l have your dinner here," she said, as she nudged his arm slowly, but he didn't wake up. She placed his dinner down on his lamp table.

"Ste?" she shook him, his hand had fallen limp over the bed. She panicked, "TOMMY!" she cried out.

"What's wrong?!" he asked, and ran towards Ste who was limp in her arms.

"I don't know, he's not waking up," she cried. His dad put him on his back and rushed him to the hospital.

The doctor had said he was severely dehydrated and intestines had shrunk due to lack of food.

Her eyes widened, "What?... It can't be, I always took food up to him, the plates were always empty... I...I don't understand," she cried."

"He could've been throwing it away."

"You're saying my son was trying to starve himself?" she asked, perplexed by the doctor's theory.

"Cases like this are common."

"No... no... why... why would he do that?! He wouldn't do that, he wouldn't," she cried in denial.

"When he wakes up, we'll know for sure," the doctor said.

"How long will that be?" Ste's dad asked.

"We're not sure, but his body is over exhausted, and needs to sleep, and get hydrated. Probably tomorrow, or the following, he's going to have to stay for at least a week, and see if he takes the fluids well, then we will try some solids, but we have to take it slowly."

They decided to sleep at the hospital, so his mom, went back home to grab some of their things from their home, and some of Ste's things. She packed up some of his clothes in a small suitcase. She saw a black notebook underneath his T-shirts. She flipped through quickly, but then stopped, when something caught her eyes.

She'd gone back to the hospital, tears streaming down her face, notebook in hand and a suitcase in her hand.

"What's wrong?" her husband asked. She just kept crying, and handed him the notebook. She sat down on the chair, next to Ste, and held onto his hands, as she continued to cry. His dad stood in the middle of the hospital room, as he opened the notebook.

_June 14, 2018-_

_Why did I have to wake up? Why didn't he just kill me, because that would be better than living like this. I feel dead anyways. I feel nothing. I hate him, I hate him so much, because he hurt me in every way possible, and I still love him, I love him so fucking much, even now that he's gone. And I hate him more because of that, because he left me when I need him the most, even though I shouldn't, because I am like this because of him, and now no one can change it. He's not here to bring me out of this darkness, and I don't want it to be anyone else. There could never be anyone else. I am more pathetic than I realize. I know I shouldn't be like this because of one man, but I can't help it, even though it was short, I've never felt so much happiness in my entire life, than I did with those moments with him, even the bad ones I cherished, just as long as he was by my side. I've lived feeling empty inside my entire life, but he filled that hole, and now he's the one who's dug it out, made it even bigger than it already was. A void I know will never be filled. Why couldn't I have died with him that day?_

_June 20, 2018-_

_It can't be normal, the way I feel - How can someone be like this over another? I can't even answer that myself, because I don't know. I've never believed in falling in love, or loving someone so deeply, I still think it's just a myth, it's not love that's so great, but it was just him. I know he was no saint, far from it, far from anything I should love, and want. But I did, I don't know, I just loved him- I still love him. What I feel for him is beyond my comprehension. I don't know why, I feel what I feel, I just do. And the thought that I'll never see him again kills me everyday. I can't get him out of my head, I want to open my skull and take him out, but he's just locked there, he won't go away. I want to tear my skin, perhaps it will bleed away my pain._

_June 22, 2018-_

_My mom comes up to my room almost every day, with a plate of food and encourages me to eat. I just nod, because she will never understand. I try to eat, but I can't. Even though I am starving, food doesn't fill me, because I still feel empty at the end. So I just flush it down the toilet._

_June 24, 2018- _

_Stacy and Ronny have visited me, but I can't get myself to even talk to them, and I feel horrible for shutting them out, but I can't help it, I just want to be alone, I don't want to talk to anyone, because they can never truly understand, no one will. They didn't know Brendan like I did. The way he made me feel when he kissed me, when he held me, when we fucked me, and made me feel more alive than I ever did. But even so, I feel I had still so much to know about him, so much he hadn't told me, not that dark side of him, but that side of him I only saw. The one I know he kept hidden, though he might not have believed it, I did. Also the selfishness in me, was glad that I was the only one that saw the good in him, that felt that side of him, because that meant I was special, I have to believe that._

_June 27, 2018-_

_I could hear the birds chirping, but I hate it. I closed my curtain, darkening my room, because what's the point, at the end of the day, it will be basked in darkness either way. It's easier that way, not letting the light in, because I know I'll just get used to it, and then it will be taken away, just like he was, and I can't handle it. If I had never seen the light, then I wouldn't have to deal with the pain of not seeing it anymore. I just want to sleep in the darkness, and reclaim it, and learn to live in it, like I did before, only difference is I know there will never be any light that can fill that darkness anymore._

_July 5, 2018-_

_I can't handle this, the memories are drowning me. I feel like I am living in them, each one. I recall the first day I met him. When I crashed into his motorcycle. I remembered how scared I was, when he slammed me against my car, his powerful body pressed against mine, his hot breath on my face. The first thing I noticed were his piercing blue eyes. They seemed so wild and cold at first, but as I stared more, there was something else there, something deep beneath them. I didn't have time to really look, because he'd gotten off me, ready to bash those boys who'd bullied me. It confused me, because I thought there he was ready to bash my face in, then seconds later threatening to kill the boys for me. It was the first time he'd protected me, the first time anyone had. And it was then I saw that good inside of him despite the fact he tried to prove otherwise, and still scared me shitless at the same time. I couldn't help but stare at him in class, he made the hairs on my skin stand, and my body shook with nervousness. He'd glare at me like he wanted to kill me, and though I was scared, I wasn't at the same time. The fact that I had his attention meant something to me. I felt like I was noticed for the first time, not some invisible body among other faceless people. Perhaps it was why I really wanted to be friends with Cheryl, because he was her sister, and being close to her, I felt like I was close to him, even though at that moment I had no idea what it was I was feeling. But now I know, and the memories just taunt me, every day, I can barely sleep because of them. Because when I do, I get nightmares of the things he did to me, that hurt me like no other, but when I stay awake, I daydream of all the times we spent together, and it's just as painful because I know they will never happen again._

_July 19, 2018-_

_I tried to go outside today, but I couldn't. I just keep imagining him riding up the driveway on his motorcycle. But I know he won't. I've never believed in anything, I still don't, but if I did, that's what I'de pray for. To see him one last time. I don't see why he believed, because his life was filled with nothing but darkness, perhaps just like mine. Maybe that's why I connected to him, because he understood that darkness inside of me. Maybe, maybe if he had let me, I'de try to be that light for him, because I'de do anything for him, if he had let me._

_July 22, 2018-_

_My bruises are gone, but I feel tired and exhausted. My mom tells me she wants me to go to the doctor because I don't look too good, but I lie and say I just need more sleep. I can hear my parents talking quietly sometimes, and I know it's about me, I hate what I am doing to them, but maybe if I wasn't here everything would be better, they could move on, and not have to worry about me all the time, and I...I could finally move on, move on to where ever he is._

_July 27, 2018-_

_I can't sleep, I keep waking up in middle of the night because of the nightmares, they keep getting worse, and worse. I keep seeing his face, but it's covered in blood, and he screams out to me. Telling me to run, to never look back. I cried, I cried the whole night, more than even the day I found out he died. I guess it was still a shock to me, I didn't want to believe it. Thought I was having a horrible nightmare, and that eventually I'de wake up. But it wasn't, he's gone, and I just don't know how to go on._

_August 4, 2018-_

_I received a call from my Uni, telling me I am going to fail my summer classes if I don't attend. I just told them to cancel them. There is no point in taking them, the reason I took them in the first place, was so I could him, but I don't want to forget anymore. Stacy and Ronny came over, they asked me to go out to the movies, I know what they are trying to do, but it's not like before. It's not like when I lost my parents, that never loved me, or when Cheryl died. Because eventually, I had him, he made me forget it all. But there is nothing that can make me forget him, nothing. As painful as it is, remembering him is the only thing allowing me to breath, as well as killing me inside._

_August 26, 2018-_

_I... I can't do this anymore, I can't- I am sorry for everything I've done, I am sorry for being such a pathetic son, I am sorry for not knowing how to stand up for myself, I am sorry for being so weak, I am sorry for causing so much pain, I am sorry being born, I am just sorry-_

Tears trailed down his dads face, notebook limp in his hand. Ste's mom went and hugged him, held him. But he pulled back, and wiped his tears away, and swallowed, "I should've known, I should've fucking known it was him."

Ste's mom looked at him confused, "What you are talking about, you knew about this?" she asked in disbelief.

"I... I didn't know... I just... couple months ago, when I went to see Ste at his dorm room, I... I saw them together," he revealed quietly. Her eyes widened, "You knew about it, and you didn't tell me?"

"I... I thought it was a one off, that... that he would end it, I didn't realize he'd gotten in so deep with him."

"No... no, it doesn't make sense Tom, we would've known, we... we would've...I mean... he... he was seeing Rae, It just doesn't make sense..."

She froze for a second, her eyes widened, "I... should've seen it then."

"What?"

"Only a couple days after starting the uni, he had dropped Ste off home, on his motorcycle, I thought it was suspicious but...Ste said he was just a mate of his, and I let it go, I didn't think it was anything more than that, I had warned him to stay away, to not talk to him, but... oh god, all this time Tom, all this time he's been seeing him and we haven't known," she claimed in a broken tone.

He shook his head, "Daniel, he was scared of how we'd react. It's not something we can understand. As much as I hate it, it's not something we could've stopped."

She held onto her husband, "What we gonna do now Tom? How can we fix this?" she asked as she wept on his shoulder.

"We'll fix this, I promise, we'll fix it."

...

Brendan's feet dangled off the edge, as the waves crashed against the stone wall. He looked up at the night sky decked with bright stars.

"I guess it's better up there, isn't it? Heaven, because that's where ye are. I would come join ye, but I can't, because it's not where I am going. I've failed the big man, just like I failed ye, and just... just like I failed Steven... ye know... I thought I could protect him... but I couldn't, I hurt him Chez, I hurt him real bad, and there is no going back. He must hate me right now, and I deserve it. I want him to hate me, so that he can forget about me, but I won't, I don't think I can ever forget about him. I know if you were here, you would've beaten me up, tell me what a bastard I am, that I am a monster for what I did, that I don't deserve him, but I know at the same time ye'de hold me and tell me, that I did what I had to do, because I had to Chez, I had too, I couldn't let them hurt him that way, It would destroy him completely. You understand don't ye, ye always have understood me... Maybe... maybe this is how it's meant to be..."

His phone had suddenly rang, it was an unknown number, so he ignored it. But it kept ringing. He sighed heavily and picked it up.

"Hello?" he answered in a low raspy voice.

"It's me Stacy, Ste's mate."

He automatically tensed, and sat up from the ledge.

"How'd ye get my number?" he asked thickly.

"Off Ste's phone."

"Watcha ye want?"

"Ste', he's... he's in the hospital, he tried to kill himself," she said.

His stomach dropped, heart started pounding, "Is... is he okay?" he asked, his voice laced with emotion.

"He's fine now, but he looks terrible, he's lost so much weight because he hasn't eaten since that day."

"It's why I need to stay away," he said.

"At least let him know you're alive."

"I... can't... I can't."

"You don't understand Brendan, it's like he's in another world, he might as well be dead, we've tried talking to him, but he doesn't listen, he locked himself in his room for a month, and he just kept getting worse, his parents are thinking about moving, because they don't know what else to do."

"Maybe that will be good for him."

"I don't think it will, I thought he'd move on eventually, but he's just gotten worse, if you just let him see you once-"

"I can't, ye don't understand, if I see him, I'll make him be with me."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"Yea, yea it is, I am poison, I'll hurt him again, I know I will."

"Brendan please-"

"He's better off without me, he's lived without me all his life, he can live without me now."

"That's because he didn't know you then, but now, it's all he thinks about, he loves you! Only if -" he hang up on her, couldn't listen any further. Because he knew if he did, he'd end up going to the boy. And he knew it would do no good, it would end up destroying the boy more. He fell to his knees, and looked upwards at the night sky, his eyes filled with tears, "I know I don't deserve anything, I don't want anything, but... but if even once ye believe in me, just one, please... please answer this one prayer, and ye can do whatever ye want to me, just... I beg of ye... please... please... let Steven live, let him move on and let him forget about me, give him that light he needs, because my light is only fire, and if I go near him, he'll burn..." he swallowed a lump in his throat, "It's all I ask of ye..."

...

When he'd woken up, and saw the bright light, he thought he'd succeeded. But then he'd felt something in his mouth, and beeping all around him, and voices. He'd realized he was in the hospital. He was incapable of swallowing food on his own because his intestines and stomach had shrunk dangerously. So little by little he had to be fed through the tube with liquids till his body slowly got used to it. It took a couple of days before the tube was taken out. The first time they gave him solid food, he'd thrown up, unable to take it in. So they stuck with soups, and soft things that he could swallow, and plenty of water.

He'd seen his black notebook on the radiator, near his bed, so he'd immediately known that his parents knew everything, but he didn't care anymore, it didn't change anything. But they never once brought it up, and his mom seemed even more caring and loving to him, and it pained him, seeing how much he'd hurt his parents because of his own selfishness. He wasn't allowed to die, because that meant meant that he'd somehow be near Brendan, wherever he was, but apparently, he was not allowed to be with him, even in death. All his life, he'd been living in misery and darkness, so it shouldn't be any different he'd thought.

Stacy and Ronny had come and visited him often, and never once brought up the incident of what had happened. Tried to cheer him up with jokes, and showed him funny YouTube videos. He pretended he was enjoying it, putting on a pretense was easy for him, because it's what he used to do before he'd met Brendan.

He didn't protest when his parents said they were moving to Hawaii once they sold everything. They couldn't stand seeing him in that state. They had sold the house and restaurants faster than they'd expected, and before they knew it, they were at the airport, ready for departure.

He stared absently out through large window, overlooking the planes all lined up, while his parents were getting their suitcases checked in.

"Ste?" A voice called out. He turned around, and saw Stacy and Ronny running towards him, both of out of breath, "We're so sorry, we got stuck in traffic," Stacy said.

"You guys didn't have to come," he said.

"What, of course we had too, there's no way we'd let you go without us saying goodbye," Stacy said.

"Heard its the best time to be in Hawaii," Stacy joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"I am... I am sorry for everything," he said. Stacy and Ronny shook their head, "Don't apologize for anything, you've done nothing wrong, we just want you to be happy Ste," Stacy said.

"I don't deserve mates like you guys," he said with tears in his eyes.

"Hey, of course you do, you're the greatest mate, we've ever had, and we love you," Ronny said.

"Best mate, we've ever had, and ever will have," Stacy added. Ste wiped his tears that threatened to pour out.

"Come here," Stacy said, they both hugged him, tightly, "Make sure you call us when you get there, don't you forget, you hear me," Stacy said.

"Or I'll come after you," Ronny warned, "God, look what you've done to me," she joked as she wiped her tears away. His parents had soon joined them.

"Thank you guys for everything you've done and for being here for our son," his mom had said and given them a hug and kiss.

"Make sure you guys visit," his dad added.

"We definitely will."

An announcement for their flight had come on. He was about to join the boarding line, when he stopped, and reached into his bag.

"Can you... Can you put this on his grave for me," asked, his voice was laced with emotion, as he handed Stacy a white envelope.

"What is it?" Stacy asked.

"I... I wanted to give it to him before he..." he wasn't able to say it. Stacy took it from him, and promised she'd do it. He hugged them one last time, and joined the his parents. He smiled at them poignantly as he waved goodbye as tears rolled down his face.

...

He pretends it doesn't matter when Trevor tells him, that he heard from Grace that the boy moved.

"It's better off that way," he says as he takes a gulp of his whisky at the club. But in reality he felt like his insides were torn out, and stomped on.

"You should go home, you look a right mess," Trevor says, as he takes the whisky away from him.

He's not drunk, just tipsy, but still Trevor doesn't allow him to drive, so instead he's forced to take a cab.

He walks up to his apartment slowly. He's clumsy with his keys as he gets them out and unlocks the door, pushes it open, and drops his keys in the process. He bends down to reach for it, then freezes, when he notices a white envelope on the floor. He doesn't think it's the mailman, because he had already received all his mail in the morning. He picks it up, and turns it over. There is no address on it, just his name written in black ink on the back. In it is a folded paper. He steps inside, and closes the door, and opens it.

_Dear Brendan,_

_This is a letter to you, my first letter I've ever written to anyone, and this will be the last, because I know you don't want to hear from me anymore, and I know you probably think I am pathetic writing this but I have to do this for my own sanity._

_I never thought I would know what it is like to love someone, but then I met you, and you changed everything Brendan._

_For the first time in my life I knew what it was to be happy, even if it was for a short amount of time, and I didn't know who I was, but I do now and that's thanks to you. You made me feel what no one else could. Whenever I saw you, my heart always pounded in excitement, and nervousness, because that's what you do to me. I can't see straight when I am with you, I can't see at all when I am not._

_I don't think you realize the impact you've had in my life, my life that was only filled with darkness before meeting you, but you gave me that light, that I never thought I'de see, and it made me greedy, it made me want for the first time._

_That day you told me to leave, it was the worst day of my life, because I never wanted anything more in my life. I went home, and I prayed, I don't know to what, or who, but I prayed to the one you believe in and asked to be given one last chance. One last chance to be loved. Loved by you. If I had your love, I wouldn't ask for anything else. I've never believed before, but you made me believe I was worth something, and that if you could love me, than anyone else could. But you made me go because you said you would break me, but I'll tell you again, I am broken already. But that's why I understand why don't want me, because why would you want someone broken like me. Why would you? I am nothing special, I am no one. You can have anyone you want Brendan, because unlike me, you're strong and beautiful in every way, you probably don't think that, but I do. Even if everything you said to me is true, I don't care... because I still want you, and that scared me at first, because I asked myself, what kind of person did that make me? Loving a person damaged like you, but then I realized, it's why I loved you, because you were damaged, like me, you understood me, like no one else could. Whatever you did, I am sure you had your reasons. I won't lie, I was shocked at first, and didn't want to believe it, but then I knew I didn't care. If one thing I am sure about Brendan, is that I am selfish like that. I don't care, because even though you may have hurt all those people, I felt the safest with you. I don't care, because I'd rather be with you and risk it all, than be alone in this life I am living right now. I don't care Brendan, because I love you, I've never loved anyone like I do you._

_I will try to move on, because I know there is nothing else I can do to make you want me. Just know Brendan, that I won't forget you, ever. What I feel about you will never change, I love you still, and always will._

_Goodbye Brendan._

_Steven_

_..._

Would love to get reviews for these chapters as this story is coming to an end. Thank You all so much once again for reading and sticking with me on this even when Stendan seems to have gone off the grid recently. Much love! ^_^


	16. Chapter 16

A/N so this was suppose to be the last chapter lol, but things went south, because I have no clue, but that chapter ended up being so long, that I had to break it up into three chapters. The are going to be updated very soon after another, as I feel they all connect almost like one big long chapter. Hope you enjoy, since this is a less hectic and dramatic chapter. ^_^

**...**

**Chapter 16**

**...**

He had spent the night rereading the letter over and over again, till he could no longer decipher what he was reading. Eventually exhaustion had taken its toll and he'd fallen asleep, with the letter still in his hand, and an empty bottle of Jameson whiskey on the floor.

Later was awakened by a loud banging on the door. He groaned in irritation, as he rolled off the couch, his head was pounding and entire body felt raw and spent as he forced himself towards the door, wanting to clobber whoever it was.

He sighed in annoyance, when he opened the door and saw the culprit.

"You look like shit," Trevor commented, as he looked Brendan up and down. His hair was all over the place, bags under his eyes, one sleeve of his sweat pants pushed up, draw strings untied, his black shirt twisted. It was like he'd been mauled in his sleep, but unscathed somehow.

"What ye want?" his voice lacked any energy, gaze unfocused.

"Can I come in?"

Brendan slurred something as he opened the door further and let Trevor in. He slumped back down on the couch, ran his hands down his face, and let out a low groan.

"You are going to tell me what's going on?" Trevor asked, looking down at him, unimpressed.

"Hmmmm..." was the only sound that escaped Brendans lips, as he looked up aimlessly at the ceiling, eyes lulled back into his head.

"Alright, that's enough," Trevor gripped his arm, and forcefully pulled him up, and shoved him, down the hallway, "Wash up, so you can bloody talk properly."

Brendan had no energy to protest. Just as he reached the bathroom, he felt bile rise up, and rushed to the toilet and threw up violently. His lungs felt like they were on fire as he coughed and threw up more. Trevor attempted to aid him by patting his back, but he'd pushed him back, wanting to be alone. He felt like a heavy stone, as dragged himself into the shower.

Trevor sat on the couch when he returned, shirtless, only pants on. His eyes suddenly widened when he'd realized what he was doing. He barged towards him, and ripped the letter out of his hand, "Don't fucking touch shit that ain't ye's," he spat.

Trevor leaned back against the couch, looked up at him with a expression somber, "It all makes sense now."

"Fuck ye, ye don't know anything," Brendan hissed and turned towards the kitchen. Trevor stood up, and followed him.

"I know it's not of my business, but seriously, what are you doing?"

"I am making tea," he replied dryly. Trevor rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean, what you still doing here?"

"This is my home, what ye think," he said as he filled up his tea mug with water.

"Are you really gonna ignore this, and pretend like you don't care?"

"I am not ignoring anything... want some?" he asked as he poured some tea into a cup.

"No, I've had my share."

"Well then, see ye later," Brendan walked past him, slouched back on the couch, turned on the his TV, and sipped on his hot tea, ignoring the way Trevor was looking at him like he was mental.

"You only got one life Brendan, and if you wanna live it, in misery and regret, then do so, but don't fucking sit your ass here like a twat, just because you're a coward, and are afraid to admit what you feel and want."

Brendan had frozen, his gaze on his coffee table, lips twitched, he swallowed and looked up at Trevor, "Just fuck off."

"Don't forget, you've got a deal tonight, I've given you enough time to sort yourself out."

Brendan held up his tea cup, a practical fuck you I don't care. He knew he was being an asshole, because Trevor had been nothing but a supportive friend, even after all the shit he'd done.

Regardless of the rotten day, he managed to get himself together, and sort the deal. He'd gone to Grace's club, afterwards. His knees were bouncing on the stool, as he kept on looking at his watch. Maybe she had decided against it, he thought, but then she had walked in, dressed in blue jeans, and red shirt, that matched her red curly hair. She immediately reminded him of Cheryl, her pale skin, blue eyes, and a sweet smile, except she was much smaller in physique.

He stood up and gave her a kiss on the cheek, courtesy, "Thank you for coming, Stacy, ye didn't have too." he said.

"I wanted to," Stacy said to him as she sat on a stool next to Brendan.

"What would ye like to drink?" he asked her.

"I'll skip, I am driving."

He nodded, and took a sip of his whisky. Stacy looked at him, like she was trying to study him, as he stared at his half empty cup, "It's the best part ye know," he said quietly, throwing her off, "What?"

"The bubbles, they pave way for the poisonous liquid that follows."

Stacy let out a heavy sigh, "I know you didn't ask to meet me, to talk about a drink."

He sneered lightly, he liked her bluntness, "It was ye wasn't it? The letter."

She looked down at her hands, and nodded, "He asked me to put it on your grave, because you know he thinks you're dead."

"It's better off that way," he stared aimlessly at his almost empty whiskey glass.

"When we told him you died, it was like we suck the life out of him… he lost the light in his eyes. I almost told him, but Ronny stopped me, because she believed it was better that way."

"She's right."

"He sent this, this week," she said and handed him a postcard, with a picture of the sun setting behind an ocean. He turned it over;

_I am alright so don't worry. It's warm here, you guys would love it here, hope you can come visit soon. Miss you guys - Ste X_

"Ste, he... he tries to hide it you know... when me and Ronny first met him, it was like trying to break into a shell, but eventually, he started opening up, and we've never seen him talk about anyone or anything the way he did about you, I don't think I've seen anyone love someone so much like he loves you and I know you love him."

He chuckled bitterly, and handed her the postcard back, "I almost killed him, ye call that love?"

"I know if you had a choice you wouldn't have done it, because I am sure whatever it was they were going to do was far worse from what you did."

He took a gulp of whisky and ordered another.

"It's his birthday next month, and me and Ronny, we're planning to go as a surprise."

"That's... that's good," he said quietly, staring aimlessly at the bar, tapping his finger against the wood.

"Brendan... look, if... if... you want to come-"

"No..." He cut her off, he pressed his lips together, "I... can't…"

"Answer me one thing… if... if there was nothing in the way to stop you, would you want to be with him?" she asked looking at him with earnest eyes.

"I don't deserve him."

...

July 10, was the day he wished never existed. He used to not remember it, but now it was forever ingrained in his head. Because it was no longer the only day he was born, but also the day, the day he'd felt alive, the first time Brendan had made love to him, even though it wasn't, it's what it had felt like.

He stared out into the horizon as the sun sank behind the ocean, his feet in the sand, remembering that day; how entire body felt like it was on fire, the way Brendan touched him and pleasured him in ways he never knew was possible. The way he kissed all over him, touched him gently, like he was something exotic and beautiful. A tear rolled down his cheek in memory, he wiped it away. He wanted to forget, but he knew he never would, because even though it was painful, those memories were the only thing keeping him alive, even though he felt anything but.

It was like time had stood still. The month that had passed was filled with absence and void that nothing could fill despite his attempt to move on.

Even paradise was not enough. The white French colonial house his parents bought by the ocean, felt like an empty cold grave. He spent most of his days by the ocean, for hours on end, staring out into the empty abyss.

His parents didn't force him to do anything, nor did they ever bring Brendan or anything that had happened. He knew they were trying to move on, like he was; the only difference is he knew he never could. He'd forever be caged in.

He sat with his legs folded, arms rested on them, as he watched the waves crashing in and out, and the sky paint itself in blues and oranges. With his fingers, he slowly began to draw in the cool sand, he pulled his hand back, and stared down at it; BRENDAN.A tear fell onto it, his lips quivered; he scrunched his face in anger, and wiped it away, and stood up and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He turned around to head home, but he suddenly stopped; a cold chill ran down his entire body and he couldn't move. His heart started hammering. Tears began falling down his cheeks; he took a step back, and shook his head, "No… no… You're not real, you're not real," he cried in a low raspy voice. He knew what was happening, he was dreaming again, just like all those other times, and whenever he got near him, he'd wake up, alone and cold on his bed. He couldn't deal with the pain again, so he turned around in an attempt to run, but he was halted by a hand around his arm.

His eyes felt heavy and his back felt damp. He opened his eyes slowly, it was dark at first, but then, he could see the stars, they were a bright blue. They were too close, too close, "Steven…" He pushed back, heart hammering, sweat prickling from his pores. He curled himself into a ball, and started crying, because he wanted it to go away. But then he something warm on his shoulder, and gripped lightly, "Steven, it's me."

"NO… no, you're dead, you're dead," he cried helplessly.

"Steven I am alive, look at me, look at me," he slowly turned his head, his heart pounded with shallow thumps. He just stared, eyes not blinking, afraid that if he blinked, he'd disappear. His eyes were bright as he remembered, lips still red, skin pale as the moon, and hair dark as Ravens, and that stache still there, just slightly longer. He lifted his hand hesitantly, but froze midway, but then he felt his warm hand on his, guiding it up towards his, he felt it, his skin felt warm, and slightly guided his finger over his cheeks, over his eyes, then over his sharp nose, and slowly down to his mustache and then his lips; he just stared, eyes unblinking.

...

Brendan manipulated himself into believing he could live without the boy, that as long as he was far away him, the boy would be out of harms way, because he was nothing but poison. He promised himself that one visit from Stacy would be the end of it, that if he knew how the boy was doing, that he could move on, without seeing him again, but it was all a lie. He realized he was weak, mentally, physically, something he'd never dare to admit to himself let alone anyone else. But Stacy could see right through him, because though he didn't say anything, his eyes gave it away.

"Steven and I... our worlds are different-"

"That's just cliche bullshit," Stacy snapped, "It's clear how much you love him, and he loves you. Whatever you've done in the past is your business, no one lives a crystal life, we all have our problems, me and Ronny, we had to go through hell before we got together, but we got through it because what mattered was that we loved each other and wanted to be together, and we weren't scared, which is your only problem, you're too scared to be happy, because you're afraid it won't last."

He slammed his empty cup on the bar, and stood up hastily and left. He was afraid, no, more like terrified, because he didn't think he deserved to be happy, because every time he got a glimpse of it, something happened, and reminded him, he wasn't allowed to be.

"If you don't take risks, you will never know!" she had shouted. He slammed his fist into the wall over and over again till his knuckles were red. He drank himself to oblivion that night again; he needed to get the boy out of his head.

Trevor was out on a weekend trip with Grace, so he'd had no work to do. He spent it inside, drinking, and watching reruns of the Walking Dead. It was around late evening when someone knocked on his door. He forced himself up, and looked through the peep hole, it was Stacy. He let out a heavy breath, and opened the door slowly, "Come in, sit anywhere ye like," he said in a tired tone.

She followed him in, looked around at his apartment, "Nice place," she commented though it wasn't in the greatest shape as it originally was, things were all over the place.

She sat on the armchair of his leather couch, as he walked towards the kitchen.

"I just came to tell you that me and Ronny got our tickets for Hawaii."

"That's good, when ye leaving?"

"Tomorrow evening."

His fingers tightened around his tea cup, he swallowed a lump in his throat, He tensed nodded, "Tea?"

"No thanks, I've got a party to go to, just wanted to say goodbye, next time though," she said as she got off the couch and head towards the door. He followed with his mug in his hand, "Take care," he said, she smiled at him and left. He let out a heavy sigh, and leaned his forehead against the door. There was so much he wanted to tell her, so much he wanted to know, but he knew it was just going to make everything worse. He sauntered back to his couch, he was about to sit down, but noticed a blank white envelope, unsealed. His eyes widened when he saw what was in it; a departure ticket to Hawaii for Thursday, 6:00 p.m. with his name. There was also a note inside.

_Stop wasting time, and go find Ste. This is his address and an address to a hotel that is near his house. Good luck! Stacy and Ronny X_

He immediately called Stacy, but it went to her voice mail. He cursed and threw his cup at the wall in frustration. He sat down on the couch, huffing.

His mind was in turmoil, thinking about it, his legs shook with apprehension. His heart pounded at the thought if he decided to go, he would see the boy within hours. He went to his room and grabbed the boy's letter from his drawer that he had put it in and read it again. He leaned against his bed, the letter in his hand. He called Trevor that night, and told him he was going off for a couple of days, and that he couldn't tell him anything till he returned.

"Just be careful, and let me know if you need anything, I'll be back in town soon," Trevor had said.

He packed his suitcase that night. But he couldn't sleep that night, his body tightened up in nervousness, because he didn't know how any of it would end, but it didn't matter, he'd made up his mind, he was going.

His heart thumped in nervousness when his plane landed in Honolulu, where the boy lived. The place was beautiful, sunny, and warm, vibrant, unlike where he lived in Chester, always cold, dark. He didn't fit in. He checked into a hotel room that Stacy had given him the address too. He took a shower, dressed in a black shirt, his thin leather jacket and dark jeans, if he was going to meet the boy again, he wasn't going to put on a facade that he's suddenly a changed man; he was going to present himself to him, like he'd seen him the first time. He shaved, styled his hair, and put on his musky cologne. It was dark out by the time he left the hotel room, and according to the GPS on his phone, the boy's house was within walking distance. His heart pounded frantically in his chest, he'd never felt so nervous in his life, and he didn't like it.

The air was warm, yet breezy; he could hear the sound of the ocean waves cursing as he walked along the park that lead to the beach, where the boy's house was supposedly at. He knew there was the risk of the boy's parents being home, but he didn't care, he had to do it.

He looked up at the house at a distance, the lights were on. He grabbed his cross and kissed it. He turned his head when he noticed a figure sitting down on the sand from the corner of his eyes. He could see from the light path that lead into the sand, that the person had golden hair. His heart started to pound faster when the figure rose up and turned. It was Steven.

...

"Brendan?" He still couldn't believe it. He felt himself being pulled up slowly, and pulled into warm strong arms. He felt his heart beat against his chest, the rhythm like his own. He closed his eyes for a moment, he wanted to stay like that, even if it was all a dream, it felt so real. He could smell his musky scent, and his hot breath against his ear. Suddenly his entire body jerked, when he felt his fingers feel up his expose side, where his shirt had ridden up. He pulled back, heart pounding. He stared at him with wide eyes, the realization finally hit him, that it wasn't a dream, Brendan was really there and very much alive.

"Steven...?" Brendan said as he approached him. He began hitting Brendan, and shouting, "I hate you! I fucking hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" he cried. Brendan let him, till he was out of breath. Tears streamed down his cheeks, "Th... they... they said you died..." he cried faintly. Brendan looked down, "I am… I am sorry, I... I told them to tell ye."

"Why?" he asked in a broken tone.

"I... I couldn't... I couldn't face what I did to ye... I thought..." he stuttered, "I thought if... if ye thought I was dead, that... ye would be able to move on, that ye could forgive me."

Ste swallowed a large lump in his throat, "You're a selfish bastard, you know that, a fucking… a fucking bastard… all this time, I… I thought you, you were dead… so why now, why you here?" he asked, trying to hold his emotion back, because he was angry, relieved, but fucking angry, but it was hard to stay angry with the way Brendan was staring at him so powerfully, his eyes filled with emotion, like he could feel the hurt he too was feeling.

"Because... because I... can't... I can't live my life without ye Steven… I tried, I really tried, but I failed, ye in my head every day, I see ye in my dreams, everywhere I go, and I can't make ye go away no matter what, because you're here Steven," he pointed to his chest, "I... I love ye Steven, I love ye."

Ste was just frozen, all the anger he had felt seconds before, was replaced with understanding and need. He stepped forward towards Brendan, as more tears fell down his cheeks, "I love you too," he said back. Before he could comprehend what was happening, Brendan had taken him into his strong arms, gripped his head and kissed him. It was like life was breathed back into him.

He held onto him as if his life depended on it, and kissed him back with all the strength he had left in his body. Their tongues reunited, deep and heavy. He could taste his tears mixed with their saliva. They pulled back, both breathless, forehead against one another, taking in each others hot breaths.

Ste couldn't move, or even speak, too dazed by it all. Brendan tilted his head, rubbing the tip of his nose against his, "I am sorry, I am so sorry," he said in heavy breaths. Ste pulled back slightly and shook his head, "Please… just… take me somewhere," he pleaded.

"What about ye parents?"

"They're busy at work." He didn't care about anything at that moment but him. Brendan grabbed his hand and led him down a path off the beach. He couldn't stop looking at Brendan, it still felt surreal. He didn't ask anything when Brendan let go of his hand when they neared a hotel. His heart and body shivered in nervousness, and excitement, as they waited for the elevator to open. He looked up at Brendan under his lashes, he was flushed. The elevator door opened, Brendan walked in first, then pulled him in and pushed him up against the elevator wall, and kissed him hard, and he didn't want him to stop, but suddenly the elevator door opened, and they heard gasps. They broke apart hastily, two elderly women were staring at them with wide eyes, but they didn't say anything, just walked in. Brendan grabbed his hand, and they walked out. He looked up at Brendan, worried, because he knew how much Brendan was against anyone knowing.

"We gave them bit of a show didn't we," Brendan quipped as he unlocked the hotel room, and he just smiled at him. He had no time to speak because Brendan had him against the wall, his tongue deep down his throat, hands all over him, grabbing any part of his body, and material of his clothing he could. He threw his head back against the wall as Brendan kissed and sucked on his neck, shoulders, chest, and touched him everywhere in desperation. He moaned and whimpered, the feel of Brendan's lips on his skin was intoxicating. It was like he was finally getting a dose of drugs he'd been withdrawn with.

Brendan pulled back quickly, pulled his white T-shirt over his head, and tossed it somewhere, and then pulled down his plaid shorts, and underwear at the same time. His cock sprang up, already hard and leaking with cum. He was panting and breathless, as he held onto Brendan, his entire body shivering as Brendan went down on his knees, and gripped his erect cock, kissed the tip of his head. He let out a whimper, when Brendan licked his slit, sending shivers of pleasure through his body. He gripped Brendan's hair between his fingers, love the feel of them, he cried out as pleasure coursed through his body like thunder, and he knew he couldn't hold on. He came violently in Brendan's mouth; his entire body shook with it as Brendan continued to suck him through his aftershocks. Brendan stood up and kissed him hard, the taste of Brendan's saliva, tongue mixed with his own cum, it was euphoric and intoxicating, he didn't want to let go.

...

Brendan pulled back breathlessly, and stared into the boy's eyes, that were deeper than the ocean, so beautiful and endless. He ran his hand down his flushed cheek and over his plump bruised lips, "God, how I've missed ye," he said breathlessly. Loved how nervous and shy the boy was, despite all the times they'd done it. It just made him hungrier for him, carved every part of him. He shed himself of his clothes, and pressed the boy against the wall, lifted his thighs around waist and consumed his mouth with his. They boy's fingers intertwined in his hair, tugging, and pulling him closer, their moans vibrated through their bodies as they kissed deep and endlessly.

He carried him to bed, and gently laid him down. Traveled his gaze down his body, up to his face. He could tell the boy had lost weight, he was already skinny before, but even more so, and it made his stomach turn into a knot of guilt. He felt up his stomach with his hands, feeling over his every bump and crevices. Marveled at the boy's immense beauty; his hair was slightly longer, more golden, perhaps because of the Hawaiian sun he'd been basking in, his eyes appeared more blue, framed by those dark long lashes, his pink lips, so plump like ripe fruit, juicy and sweet, his gaze traveled down to his slender neck, where he could see his the vein along his neck pulsing, and his Adams apple bopping, and those deep collar bones, it made him salivate, "Ye so fucking beautiful ye know that," he said in thick growl, he couldn't stand it, how fucking gorgeous the boy was. As much as he wanted to ravish the boy, he wanted to take his time and explore his sun kissed body, which seemed more golden, and silkier than even before.

The boy looked up at him in awe, like he couldn't believe he was telling him that. So he was going to show him, make him know how much he wanted him. He kissed his eyes, one by one, "I am sorry," he had to say it; because he couldn't believe that he'd hurt such an angelic, beautiful boy like him. He didn't let the boy speak, he continued to kiss him all over his face, "I am sorry," he said again, and then kissed his lips, the boy parted his mouth, and paved way for his tongue. He pushed it in deep, but slowly explored the walls of the boy's mouth, and lapped around his tongue, the taste of him so intoxicating and lethal. The boy raked his hands through his hair and down his back. He pulled the boy's hair back, exposing that slender neck, kissed down his jaw, and expanse of his neck, licked and sucked over it, and bit the flesh, making the boy whimper, he just wanted to ravage him, he growled and hummed with it as he worked his way down, over his collarbones. With his hands he felt over down his sides, over his arms, and down his stomach, it was like he was touching silk. He licked over his pink erect nipples, making the boy moan and he loved it, hearing him so keen and hungry for his touches. He spit in his navel and licked it back smeared his saliva with his tongue down to the boy's groin, but he stopped when he noticed something he never had before, a tattoo, "When did ye get this?" He asked and stroked the butterfly tattoo with his index finger.

The boy looked down at him, bashful, "It.. it was a gift from Stacy and Ronny."

He lifted his brow in question, "They did it for ye?"

"No... they took me to a tattoo place, I didn't want it, it's just you know, I-" he tried to explain, but Brendan began to kiss it, and licked over it, biting the skin, "It's fucking sexy," he hissed lowly, and kissed it again, then down kissed towards his groin.

He kissed the down his cock, parted his thighs, and kissed the sensitive skin there, and licked his balls, rolled them in his mouth. The boy grunted and moaned obscenely, swarming him body and pushing upwards. He parted his cheeks, kissed his puckered hole that he'd been craving for. With the flat of his tongue he licked over it, and spat on it, then pressed the tip of his tongue in, pushed in as deep as he could. He missed the taste of him. He held the boys thighs up, and fucked him with his tongue, till the boy was begging for him. He pulled back, and reached over to the lamp table, and reached for the tube of lube he'd gotten. "Ye okay?" he asked. He nodded, and smiled at him,it took his breath away.

He pulled him up onto his lap, kissed him while snapping the lid open and squeezed a clump of it onto his fingers, reached behind the boy and rubbed his hole with the lube and pressed a finger in, then two. The boy broke the kiss, and through his head back, so he kissed his neck, as the boy began fucking himself down on his fingers. He knew the boy would come fast, so he pulled out, lifted the boy up slowly and guided his cock to his entrance, pushed him down on it, and kissed him, swallowing his sounds. He gripped his hips as he thrust up into him from below, meeting up with the boys thrusts; the room filled with their heavy moans, and panting. They kissed, wide, sloppily, touching and groping each others skin wherever they could as they rocked together, picking up speed as their orgasms began thundering through their bodies.

Brendan pushed him down amidst the heat of it, lifted his thighs over his shoulders, and rocked into him deeper, and harder while kissing all over his neck. The boy's finger scratched down his back as he fucked him. It was like the world around them ceased to exist as their bodies gave away and climaxed together. Their bodies were cast in a golden orange glow from the sun that began to sink into the horizon behind the ocean.

"Happy birthday Steven," he said breathlessly, as he came down from the high, looking deeply into his eyes, that filled with emotions. He pulled him into his arms, stroked his arms that were resting on his chest, fingers playing with the hairs.

"How did you know where I was?"

"Ye mates..."

The boy didn't respond, just continued playing with the hair on his chest. Brendan stroked the hairs over his forehead, "There's... there's something I need-" he was cut off by a ringing. The boy quickly rose up, "It's my mum," he said with wide eyes.

"Just answer, they're gonna be worried otherwise," he said and rose up from the bed, and headed towards the bathroom to give the boy privacy. He took a quick shower. When he returned with a towel wrapped around his waist, the boy was dressed and sat at the edge of the bed.

"Ye leaving?"

"I told her I went out for a walk."

Brendan nodded, and bit his lips, leaned against the vanity, arms folded.

"But I don't want to go," the boy said as he stood up, and walked over towards him.

"I don't want ye to go either, but ye have to," he pulled him by the waist, stroke his flushed cheeks with the back of his fingers, and brushed away his fringe on his forehead. The boy smiled lightly, and wrapped his arms around his neck, "I will be back though, promise."

"Too right you will," he said with smuttin smirk, and kissed him.

...

Ste had been taken over by emotions when Brendan said happy birthday, because it took him back to the first time he'd slept with Brendan, when he'd told him then too. It felt different this time because he knew Brendan really wanted him, and loved him. He held onto Brendan, didn't want to leave the hotel room, not for one second, or one minute, but then his phone had rung and was brought back to reality.

"There's something place I wanna take ye," Brendan told him, while still holding onto his hips.

"We can go tomorrow," he replied. Brendan chuckled lightly, "Not here, Dublin."

His eyes widened, "You mean as in Ireland?" he asked in surprise. Brendan expression became somber, "Yea... ye see before coming here, I told myself whatever happens, that I am going to Dublin afterwards, to start a new life, I want to leave my old life behind Steven, I am tired living like this."

Ste's gaze faltered, he wanted nothing more than to be with Brendan, but it was so sudden.

"I am sorry, I... I have no, right…"

"No," Ste interjected, "I want to go, I do, more than anything, it's... it's just my parents-"

"I understand," he let go of Ste's waist. But Ste quickly grabbed his hand, "No, Brendan, I am not saying I don't want to go, I want to be with you, I am just saying I need some time."

"I only have two days," he said.

Ste swallowed, and looked Brendan in the eyes, "I'll go home tonight, and I'll talk to my parents."

"Steven, ye know what ye parents think of me."

"No, they will understand, you know why, because they love me Brendan."

Brendan let out a sigh, and held his hands, "Alright, but I don't want ye and ye parents-"

He cut him off, "Don't worry, let me handle this," he kissed him again. He asked for Brendan's phone, so he could save his number on it. While entering his number Brendan kissed his neck from behind, and gripped his hips, pulling him back, "Brendan..." he whimpered, "I gotta go," but Brendan kept kissing him, and he felt himself being sucked in. He pulled back and turned to him.

"I have too… I'll text you," he said,

"Alright, hurry before, I don't let ye go," Brendan said. He bit his lips, kissed him one last time.

He didn't realize how flushed and a mess he looked, till he saw his reflection in the elevator He pushed his hair back, and straightened out his clothes. For the first time he smiled, while looking at himself.

His mom and dad were in the living room, looking over something when he got inside.

"Sorry I am late, met some very nice people at the park, so we just got bit carried away."

His parents looked at him like a deer caught in headlights. He'd barely uttered a word the one month they'd been there, and now he'd just come back from a walk, and suddenly he was talking, smiling, as if nothing had happened. He lowered his head, and walked into the living room, his hands got sweaty from nervousness.

"Mom... dad, there's something I need to tell ya," he spoke quietly.

"Of course love, you can tell us anything," his mom said, with a smile on her lips, but he could see the worry in her eyes.

He swallowed as he sat down slowly on the couch, their attention all on him, "I... I know you guys know everything already - I never wanted to hide it from you guys, but... it's just... I didn't know how you-"

"It's okay love, you don't have to explain, we understand- it's all in the past now," his mom had interjected.

"No, please... I have too," he said, looking his parents in the eyes, "My entire life, I felt I didn't deserve anything, that I wasn't worth it… that, that… I wasn't special, that's why my mum- no Pauline and Terry, treated me the way they did-" His parents looked in shock because it was the first time ever in his entire life that he'd sat down and opened up to them that way, so they just sat there and listened, "But then you guys took me in and loved and... and cared for me like I was your own, and I know that I never showed it, but I am so grateful, for everything, and I couldn't have asked for better parents, you mean the world to me..." he swallowed, and wiped away the tears that were ready to fall, and sniffed, "But... but even with everything that I have, I feel like I am stuck, stuck in that place, the past, and I've tried, I tried to get out of it, but I couldn't because nothing I did helped me forget, but... then... I met... I met him… Brendan," he didn't look at his parents when he said his name.

He expected them to say something, but they didn't, just remained silent, so he continued, "I... never thought I'de find anyone who'd ever understand me, but he did, and... and I don't know why, but I felt like I could tell him anything, always to be near him… he made me feel safe, and I don't know how or when, but I realized I was in love with him, and it scared me, it scared me... because it was a feeling I never had before, I didn't think it was normal to love another man, that's why I couldn't tell you guys, because I was afraid you'd judge me, and that, that you wouldn't love me anymore," he said faintly.

"It doesn't matter who you love, we will always love you, we were just worried that you would get hurt," his mom had said.

"We understand, we do, but… we don't know what how he felt about you," his dad added.

"I didn't know what he felt about me either, but then I realized he loves me, which was why he protected me all those times, and why he kept pushing me away, and… and why he… also had Stacy and Ronny tell me that he was dead, because he was afraid of hurting me."

He finally looked up at his parents, who were sat there, frozen, eyes wide.

"He's alive?" His dad asked baffled. He nodded, his gaze lowered.

"Did they tell you?" his mom asked. He shook his head, and swallowed, "Brendan did, he... he's here."

"You mean, here on this island, in Hawaii?" his mom asked, still in denial.

"I... I didn't know... I was sitting on the beach, and then I saw him," he tried to explain, but his mom spoke, "So... when I called and asked where you were, you were with him?"

He lowered his gaze and nodded. His dad suddenly rose, face flushed, he ran his hands over his face, and let out a heavy breath, "I get that you love him, I get that, and that he protected you, but still, he pull you equally the same amount of pain… and now your saying he's back here…. No, that's… I won't accept that, we almost lost you countless times because of him… "

"Da, please…" he tried to talk, but his dad spoke over, "If he loves you like you think he does, he wouldn't have come back, he would've stayed away, because, he's, he's just going to hurt you all over again, and I won't stand for that, I am sorry, but I just can't."

He couldn't stop the tears that started falling, "He won't... I know Brendan, he never meant to hurt me."

"How can you be so sure? Huh?... How?"

Ste shook his head, lips quivered, not knowing how to answer.

"Your dad is right," his mom had added, and it felt like he was being stabbed, "I understand you love him, and that's okay, but, he's, he's not compatible for you-"

He felt like he was being ganged up on, and he just wanted to run away, because they didn't understand what Brendan meant to him, no one did, "The life he lives, it's dangerous, and we can't let you get involved in that."

"He said he's done it, he wants to start over again, with me," he cried.

"You can't just switch your life around with a click of a finger, the life he lives, he can't just get out of it that easily, and someone like Brendan, he's bound to go back… the things he's done in the past, they will catch up with him, and you will get hurt, and we can't risk that."

Ste stood up hastily, "I can!" he cried, he pointed to his chest, "I can take that risk, all my life I've never been able to make my own choices, always doing what others told me - for once in my life, I want to be able to chose – I… I want to live," he cried, "And I can't if it's not with him, I can't live without him," he said vulnerably as tears strolled down his cheeks. His words seemed to have taken them by surprise, heart, because his mom had tears in her eyes, and his dad had sat back down, staring aimlessly at the ground.

"I want to see him," his dad said in a low voice, and looked up at him, his eyes were rimmed red, like he was about to cry.

"I… I can make dinner tomorrow," his mom added.

Ste wiped his tears away, not believing what his parents were saying. His mom rose up and walked towards him, "We love you, and all we've ever wanted was for you to be happy, and if... if he's, if he makes you happy, we'll give him a chance," she said and pulled him into a tight embrace, and apologized.

...

Brendan was out on the balcony overlooking the ocean, because he was unable to sleep, when he received a text from the boy.

_My parents want u to come_

_over for dinner 2morrow, Ste X_

He knew the boy said he'd talk to them, but he wasn't so sure, or at least think that it wouldn't be so soon, so it took him by surprise.

He stared at the text for a while, not knowing how to respond. He'd never been invited to anywhere for dinner, and the thought of it, felt weird, because he didn't do family gatherings, and all that stuff families did. It just wasn't him. But he was doing it for the boy. So he leaned against the rail, and replied back.

_U told them everything? BB_

He received a text back immediately.

_Yea, I didn't think they would give in- Ste X_

_I guess they really do luv u_

_2 give some1 like me a chance – BB_

_Don't say that, ur all I want even _

_if they don't approve - Ste X_

_This is why u make me feel like shit_

_Ur__ 2 good to me- BB_

_I mean it Bren, ur everything_

_I need- Ste X_

_Same, what time u want me there? BB _

_6pm - Ste X_

_C u then, miss u alrdy - BB_

_Miss u 2, wish i was there with_

_U - Ste X_

Brendan smiled as he texted back.

_U will soon, i'll b dreaming of u_

_tonite ;) - BB_

_Me too, I love you :) Ste X_

He put his phone down, he knew he loved the boy, and already confessed, but it was still all new to him, so he didn't text back, but he was sure the boy understood, because he knew him like no one else did. He laid his head on the headboard, took in everything that had happened since the first day he'd met the boy, but never had he imagined himself in a hotel room, in another country because he'd fallen for a boy, who completely altered his life irrevocably.

He was awakened by the buzzing of his phone. He groaned as he reached for it, it was only 4:50 am, the sun hadn't even risen.

_How did it go?_

_Did u c him?_

_We're here anxious as fuck_ _– Stacy_

_He smiled lightly, and replied back. _

_Yes, but we've got somethin_

_2 workout first - BB_

_OMG! What did he say? - Stacy_

He sighed, he liked the boy's friends, but he didn't feel like answering a list of questions early in the morning.

_I'll tell u 2nite, going back_

_2 bed, the birds haven't even woken - BB_

_LOL! Alrite! Can't wait!_

_give Ste tons of kisses for us! ;) - Stacy_

He smiled as he put his phone down on the lamp table. His attempt to go back to sleep failed, so he'd woken up, and got dressed in a black shirt, black sweat pants, and head out into the cool morning Hawaiian breeze, that woke him up further. It helped calm his nerves about meeting the boys parents properly for the first time. The sound the morning tides were like tranquil music, relaxing his muscles. Spent and panting, he stopped after an hour. He crashed down on the beach, arms rested on his knees, and watched as the sun began to rise over the horizon. It was as if he'd seen the scenery before, then it came to him, it was the same view that was on the back of the postcard Stacy had given him. He suddenly jolted when a hand touched his shoulder. He turned, eyes widened in surprise, "Steven?... What ye doing here?".

The boy was dressed in thin white shirt, and light plaid cotton PJ bottoms, his hair was all over the place, "Woke up to use the loo, looked out my window and saw you," he said as he sat next to him. Brendan turned his head, he hadn't realized he was sitting in view of the boy's house. He chuckled at the irony.

"What?" the boy asked, with a tentative smile on his lips.

"Nothing..." he looked back out at the ocean, "Just never... imagined myself here, ye know... with ye."

"Neither did I... I was afraid you know, when... when I told them about you, I didn't know how they'd react.. . They were against it, but... but I told them, I can't live without you... and I... I know that because when I am not with you- I feel empty, dead," he said quietly as he stared down at the sand beneath his feet.

Brendan gripped the his chin and turned his head, to face him, his eyes were filled with emotion, he pulled him close and looked deeply into his eyes, "I promise ye Steven, whatever happens after today, I'll never leave ye," he kissed the boy. The boy looked up at him, his eyes filled with hope. Brendan just stared at him, the orange glow from the sun painted his skin, making it appear more golden and dewy, it took his breath away, "Ye so fucking beautiful." He knew he said it many times, like a broken record, but he couldn't help it. The boy flushed, and smiled tentatively. He kissed the back of his neck.

"Am I dreaming?" The boy asked faintly sat between between his legs, as they stared out into the horizon watching the sun claim the sky.

"What ye mean?"

"The first time I came here-"

"Ye've come here before?" Brendan asked, cutting him off.

He nodded, "We came here for a trip, you know after the New Years... I kept dreaming about you being here with me, like this," he held Brendan's arms tighter that were wrapped around him. Brendan nuzzled his neck, "Ye not dreaming," he said, and kissed his neck. The boy turned his head slowly, and leaned in. He kissed him slowly, felt his smooth hair between his fingers, pulled him closer, and pushed his hand up the boy's shirt, feeling his warm skin. The boy pulled back,

"I have to go, my parents will be up soon-"

"Is okay, I understand," he said and released the boy, and helped him up, wiped the sand off his ass, "Got some sand on ye."

The boy blushed, crinkled his nose, "You just wanted to touch my ass," he quipped. He so looked so adorable, that he wanted to just eat him up.

"Can ye meet me at the hotel, at twelve?" he asked, he knew he was pushing it, but he couldn't help it, the boy made him do reckless things.

"Alright, but I can't stay too long, because I have to be home before my parents return from work by four."

"There's a lot we can do in three hours," he said with a suggestive smirk. The boy flushed, and bit the bottom of his lip tentatively. He watched as the boy walked back to his house. He looked back at him, and smiled; he'd never seen anything as beautiful.

...


	17. Chapter 17

**...**

**Chapter 17**

**...**

Ste could feel the awkward tension with his parents that morning, regardless of the conversation that they had regarding Brendan that night. His mom pretended nothing had happened and that all was randy dandy, she babbled on about random things that really had no relevance to anything. But his dad was a different situation, his entire demeanor was off from usual; he'd barely uttered a word at the breakfast table, his head stuck in the morning newspaper. Ste wanted to say something, but decided it was perhaps better to give him space, because he knew it was just as hard for his dad as it was for him. "He's still upset isn't he?" He asked his mom once his dad had left to work.

"No love, he's just been worried about the restaurant, we're bit behind on the renovations," She explained, as she picked up the breakfast dishes, "You doing anything later?"

He shook his head, "No, not really, just probably gonna hang by the beach or summit," he lied, and he hated it, but he couldn't tell his mom that he had plans to meet Brendan, not when they were already in shambles because of his decision to be with him.

"Alright, well, I am going to go meet your dad at the restaurant, but I'll be back before three to get dinner started, and don't worry, your dad's not mad, he's just over protective," she kissed him on the cheek and head out the house.

He didn't want his parents being upset with him, but he couldn't control what he felt for Brendan.

Even though he'd already seen Brendan that morning, he missed him like crazy. He had already hopped in the shower before his parents woke up. He was about to put on his beach shorts when he received a text from Brendan.

_waiting 4 u ;) BB_

He blushed instantly, and smiled, his heart thumped with excitement as he finished getting dressed and sent back a text.

_Will b there soon - Ste x_

He wet his hair a bit and ran his fingers through, making it look slightly messy. Brendan had once told him that it made him look sexy apparently, even though he still didn't really see it, but that didn't matter as long as Brendan thought it. He was about to head out when his phone buzzed.

_Give the receptionist my name_

_n they will let u in - BB _

He was nervous as fuck as he walked down the corridor of the hotel. His heart pounded anxiously when he reached his room. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. His breath got caught in his throat when Brendan opened the door, half naked, wet, lower torso wrapped in a towel that hung low around his hips. It didn't matter how many times he saw Brendan, he always made his heart thump fast. He swallowed the saliva that gathered in his mouth, as his gaze scanned from his head down, his body, the man was a creature of beauty and masculinity. But his admiration was short lived, when Brendan pulled him in haste, and pressed him up against the wall, tongue deep in his mouth, hands all over him.

They kissed like they had been separated for a life time. Brendan only pulled back, so he could rid Ste of his clothes. The minute he was naked, Brendan was all over him again. Hands gripping and feeling every part of his skin, kissing, biting, licking. Brendan suddenly picked him up in the midst of the heat so that he was a head taller than Brendan. It was a benefit because at that angle he was able to kiss Brendan deeper than he'd ever had, and it was intoxicating, lethal in every way. If it was possible he'd live on Brendans kisses alone. The greatest feeling ever, besides, when Brendan's inside of him, because that's one thing he cannot explain, the feeling is so overwhelming and blinding that not even science could explain it.

Suddenly he felt something hot against his back, he broke away from the kiss, and noticed he was pressed against the glass balcony door, and the only thing covering it was a thin white chiffon curtain. "It's okay, no one can see," Brendan said breathlessly, it was like he could read his mind, "And I don't care if they do," he said and kissed him again, to prove his point. It's not that Ste cared, he didn't, he was just worried that Brendan didn't realize what they were doing. He couldn't stop the noises that came out of him when Brendan began assaulting his skin with kisses, while he humped him against the glass. He knew it was only a matter of time before he came and he didn't want to, not yet.

"Please... fuck... me," He begged breathlessly.

"Jesus, fuck," Brendan pulled back and looked at him with hungry eyes, his lip curled into a smirk, "When did you start using that language?"

Ste blushed, he was unable to answer, because it was new to him too, it's just what Brendan does to him, makes him say and do things he'd never would otherwise.

"Wet them," Brendan held his fingers to his mouth. So he did, licked and sucked each one like it was his favorite popsicles and he could tell it was driving Brendan crazy, "Fuck, Jesus," He cursed, "Ye gonna make me cum just by looking at ye." He made sure he wet them with as much saliva as he could before he released them with a pop. He licked his lips, while looking at Brendan sensually, it was something that just came to him naturally when with Brendan, otherwise he'd be embarrassed and shy. Brendan snarled at him and claimed his mouth again, as he pushed a finger inside of him, stretched him with it, soon added two and had Ste crying out for more.

Ste held onto him tightly, when Brendan finally replaced his fingers with his hard cock, and pushed up into him. He was already sweating from their frantic movements and Brendans body heat, but the sun that was beaming through the glass made it seem like his body was on fire, either that or it was just the effect Brendan had on his body. The glass door began to rattle as Brendan picked up speed, "Fuck," Brendan cursed heatedly and spun him around and dropped him on the bed without pulling out. Ste cried out as he picked up speed, he hit that spot inside of him that had his body dying for release. Just when he thought he was about to come Brendan pulled out and asked him to turn over, on his hands and knees. He pushed back in hard making him cry out that he was sure if anyone was in the next room they had to have heard, but he didn't care. It was first time being fucked in that position, Brendan was so deep inside of him that he felt they were one body.

Sweat prickled from his forehead as Brendan rocked into him harder and faster, his lips all over his neck and back, making these sounds that only made Ste get closer to his climax. His fingers fisted the white cotton sheets as he felt it near, and it was like Brendan could feel it too because he began fucking him harder and faster, the sound of his balls slapping against his ass, mixed with his feral cries. Nothing in the world mattered in that moment, not past, nor future, just that moment, with Brendan. Perhaps he was just blinded, and Brendan made him finally see reality, a reality that was obscured by darkness, and misconception.

Brendan suddenly pulled him up so that he was sitting on him, his back against his chest. Brendan turned his head and kissed his sloppily as he pounded into him from below. He wrapped his arms around Brendan's neck and arched his back so that he could get the perfect angle that Brendans cock to hit his sensitive spot, that made him instantly come all over Brendans hand. Brendan held him down hard by the hips as his hole hole clenched his cock and made him come inside of him. Both were breathless, panting as they came down from the high. Brendan turned his head again, and kissed him languidly, rocking into him slowly as the after shocks coursed through them.

A sudden emotion took over him, and he felt his eyes swell with tears. Brendan pulled back instantly, a concerned look on his face, "Ay, What's wrong?... did I hurt ye?" he asked worriedly. Ste shook his head and wiped his eyes, "No…." he said in a low whimper, "I… I just… I am… afraid …"

Brendan pulled him off slowly, and turned him around, so he was straddled in his lap, faced him, "Afraid of me?"

Ste shook his head and swallowed, "No… I just…" his gaze lowered, "I never thought this… this would happen, you know," he said faintly. Brendan lifted his chin, made him, look him in the eyes, pulled him close, so that their stomachs were touching, he wiped his tears with his thumb, "It was gonna happen one way or another Steven, I'de make sure of it."

Ste hated that he was crying, but he couldn't help it. He wiped his eyes, and swallowed a lump in his throat, "It's not… it's just what if, what if… what if they don't let me… see you again… I can't, I can't-"

"Hey, hey, look at me," Brendan lifted his chin again, and looked him in the eyes, "I promise whatever happens, I will not leave ye, I promise."

He nodded and sniffed, "I… I am sorry."

"It's okay." He smiled, and kissed him lightly on the lips. Ste wrapped his arms around Brendan's neck and deepened the kiss, wanted to stay connected like that, never let go, he was afraid to. Brendan slowly laid him down on the bed, and kissed him slowly, and languid, all tongue. He wrapped his legs around his waist and kissed like they had all the time in the world. They were hard again, within minutes, so Brendan pulled back slightly and adjusted his cock to his entrance and pushed in. He couldn't tell if he was crying out from the pleasure or from all the emotions that coursed through him. Whatever it was, he couldn't hold it in, he held on tightly till they came together, breathless and panting. They kissed till their orgasms bled them dry.

Brendan pulled back and looked into his eyes, and he felt like he was going to drown in them. He ran his fingers through his damp hair, "I can't get over how beautiful ye are," he said in a low gravely tone. Ste couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" Brendan asked.

"You say I am beautiful, but have you looked at yourself," he said, as tugged at Brendan's silver cross.

It was true, Ste was mesmerized by his beauty, the way his face and body glistened with sweat, in a light golden hue from the rays of the bright sun that peered through the curtains. He smiled at him, and it was perhaps the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Brendan pulled back, and grabbed his hand, "Come're ," he said and pulled him up from the bed and walked him over to the full body mirror attached to the bathroom door.

"Brendan," he protested bashfully, he tried to move, but Brendan held him there, his hands placed on his shoulders, looking at him intensely through the mirror, "Look at ye self," he whispered into his ears, it sent shivers down his body. He tilted his chin, forcing him to look at himself, his lips grazing his earlobe as he whispered, "Tell me what ye see?"

He knew Brendan was physically different from him in every way, but it startled him, seeing himself next to him like that. Realized just how different they both were. His tiny body seemed minuscule compared to Brendan's tall, muscular body, and broad shoulders. He swallowed, he didn't know how to answer, because what Brendan saw, wasn't what he saw. He looked skinnier, slightly tanner, but that was it. He lowered his gaze, frowning, "Hey, just look," Brendan lifted his chin, and he traced his finger over his eye brows, and eyes, "Ye have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen Steven, so deep and blue," he stroked his flushed cheeks, "Ye cheekbones, it's like ye've been carved out by the most talented craftsmen," he stroke his nose, "Cutest nose," then felt over his lips, "And ye lips, God, women get injections Steven to make them look like ye's, so full, and soft, I can kiss them all day," then he felt down his slender neck, his heart beat increased, "Ye neck, it's so delicate, and beautiful," he kissed the side of it, while he ran his palms over his shoulders slowly, and kissed along the skin there, "Ye skin, smooth like silk, drives me crazy," he snaked his palms slowly down his arms, and intertwined his hands with his, then wrapped both their arms around his tiny waist, and rested his chin on his shoulder, "Everything about ye Steven, is just beautiful," he said it like he meant it more than he ever meant anything else. Ste hadn't realized he had his eyes closed until he opened them slowly, and looked at himself, and the way Brendan was wrapped around him, something about it seemed right, almost perfect. "You make me feel beautiful," he said.

Brendan pulled him closer, could feel his already hard, "I'll make ye see it too," kissed his shoulder, up his neck, and turned him slowly, and kissed his lips. He wrapped his arms around his neck, and kissed him back deep and passionately. He pulled back, and looked into Brendan's eyes, "Its okay, with it's just you and me, isn't it?"

"It's perfect," Brendan said and thumb over his cheek down to his plump lips, "Ye are perfect," he leaned in and he parted his lips for his tongue. Brendan pressed him against the vanity, lifted his thigh and pressed his pelvis against him, and began humping as they kissed, soon they broke apart breathless. Brendan turned him around, so his stomach was against vanity, he leaned in, and whispered, "I want ye to see how beautiful and sexy ye are when ye come," he parted Stes cheeks and pushed inside of him, lifted his head so he could see himself as he fucked him.

However, he was more focused on Brendan, and how he looked completely lost inside of him; they way his eyes glossed over, and lulled back into his head, mouth parted, and filthy noises escaped them, but he also didn't recognize himself, the way his body move, and flexed with each thrust. Brendan lifted him upwards, gripped his cock, and started tossing him off, and lifted his leg onto the vanity, to give him more leverage, to fuck him deeper. He came just by the way Brendan was looking at him, so hot and animalistic. Brendan fell against his back breathless and peppered kisses along his neck and shoulder. His eyes fell upon the time, "I… I have to go…" he said half heartedly. But Brendan kept kissing his neck, and stroking his sides. "Brendan… I have to go, I have to," he turned around. Brendan let out a heavy sigh and looked at him adoringly; he wiped his fringe off his forehead, "Alright, but hurry before I don't let ye." Ste smiled as he pulled back and started to get dressed. He could feel Brendans gaze on him, he looked up, and caught his intense glare, his lips were upturned in a half smirk, he was leaned back against the vanity, his hands folded over his chest, naked. Ste had to look away, because he was getting hard just by looking at him. He gasped when Brendan grabbed him from behind as he put on his slippers.

"I think ye doing this on purpose," he whispered hotly against his ear. Ste turned around to face him, he couldn't help but kiss him, their tongues collided hotly, but Brendan pulled back, "I thought ye gotta go?" he asked breathlessly.

Ste laughed lightly, "I do, you just don't make it easy," Brendan leaned in to kiss him again, but he pulled back, "But I really have to," he said and walked towards the door, he smiled at him one last time before he left. He let out a heavy breath and leaned against the door for a few second to collect himself before he headed home. Luckily, his mom wasn't home when he got there. He jumped in the shower quickly and changed just before she arrived. He helped her prepare dinner, and she was looking at him like she knew something happened, but before she could say anything his dad had returned from the restaurant. However, he wasn't in a great mood. He seemed frustrated and angry. He cursed about how some contractors had messed up things at the restaurant. But it was unusual, because his dad was always usually patient and understanding. His mom had calmed him down by giving him some water and asked him if he could go out to the shops to get some fruit and wine. Ste knew she was just trying to give him time to cool down.

He'd been surprised when his dad asked him to go with him. He was all nerves when he got into the car, not knowing if he should say anything, so instead he just fiddled with his fingers.

He was about to say something, but his dad spoke first, "You went to see him didn't you?" It had sounded more like an accusation than a question, "Don't try and lie, those marks on your neck, they weren't there this morning," he pointed out. It was something Ste had not botched himself. He touched the side of his neck in instinct, "Dad... I-" he tried to speak, but his dad cut him off.

"Your mom said he can come over for dinner, and I agreed only because of you, but you know I am not okay with it, especially after everything… and yet you still went to see him behind our back.

"I am... I am sorry," there was no explanation he could give, he knew he was in the wrong, "I am sorry," he cried again unable to look at his dad.

His dad let out a heavy breath, "I... understand and know you want to be with him, but you are my son, and I can't risk seeing you throw your life into flames because of him. I may be a guy, but I know an attractive guy if I see one. Brendans a very handsome bloke, so I... I can see the appeal you see in him, it's-"

"It's not just because of his looks that I want to be with him," he tried to explain by his dad cut him off.  
>"My point is he's still dangerous Ste, he will end up hurting you. You believe he loves you, and maybe, maybe he does, but you can't be so sure, not when you barely know him, we barely know him…"<p>

"I know him enough, he's dad bad things I know that, but Brendan, he's a good guy when you get to know him, he's loyal, protective and he will do anything for those he cares about."

His dad let out a heavy sigh, "That's the thing Ste, I don't know that, nor does your mom, so it's hard for us to trust him like you do when he's given us no reason too."

"Don't you trust me?" He asked his dad.

"Yes I trust you, it's... It's just you're still so young, someone like Brendan, it's easy to manipulate-"

"He's not manipulating me dad, he wouldn't have come this far if that were the case, I don't know why you can see that?" His dad hadn't said anything; he remained silent throughout the remainder of the time.

...

Brendan he already knew he had a bad reputation with the boy's parents, so the least he could do was look presentable, without looking like a gimmick. He opted for a casual posh style; white button up, with contrasting red pop up collar and cuffs, paired with gray trousers with black leather belt and shoes. Spiked his hair back with some gel, his usual style, shaved off his stubble, nicely groomed his stache that had grown a bit too much, and sprayed on his expensive Dior cologne. Checked himself one last time, before he left, heart pounding in anxiousness.

He made sure he arrived minutes earlier than expected time of arrival. He looked up at white two story house, it looked like one of those houses you'd see in your dreams as a kid, fantasy like, but somewhat daunting, because beautiful houses like those were the kind that hid the ugliest secrets. Because the most beautiful house he'd lived in as the beach house, but it was also where all his nightmares had started. He shook his head, not wanting to think about it. This was about the boy and he needed a clear conscience if he didn't want to screw up.

He took a deep breath, poised himself before he pressed the doorbell.

He was greeted by the boy's mom who was dressed in a pink floral sun dress, and hair half way down, he'd say the boy got his good looks from her if he hadn't known she wasn't his real mom. For that reason alone, he had respect for her. "Hi, sorry if I am late, got lost on my way here…" he lied, it was just his nerves that had caught up with him the last minute so he had sat down on a bench near the beach to cool himself down.

"It's alright, come in," she said with a gentle smile, which honestly shocked him because he expected for her to look at him like he was a menace to society, "My husband and son are at the shops, but they should be back soon, please come in."

He tried to put on his best smile, that didn't look forced as he walked in, "Didn't know what to get, so I got this, hope it's alright," he said as he held up a bottle of pink champagne.

"Oh no, it's lovely, thank you… you can take a seat wherever you like," she said a she took the champagne in the dinning room.

It was perhaps the most awkward thing he'd ever done as he stood there not knowing what else to say or do; he wasn't used to such formalities. He was used to storming into pubs, breaking down doors, shouting, cursing, driving like a maniac, wreaking havoc on lives. He caught the woman's gaze on him, he smiled ineptly at her, "Ye… ye got a nice place…" he said trying to rid the awkward atmosphere between them. He sat down on one of the white sofas, with his legs parted.

"Thank you," she replied, he could tell she was nervous, by the way his lips twitched when she tried to smile, and her entire body language, like she didn't know what to do with herself. He couldn't tell if she was shocked or mesmerized by him based on the way she was staring at him. Or perhaps it was because he was still wearing his aviator shades. He quickly took them off, "I forget all the time, think it's sunny everywhere," he laughed at his lame joke as he slipped it in the pocket of his shirt; she looked at him like he was crazy, so stopped.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Waters good," he wasn't really thirsty, but he wanted to give the poor woman an excuse to escape for a few seconds because she looked like she was going to faint from an anxiety attack. He reached for his phone, and sent a quick text to the boy.

_I am at ur house, I think ur_

_Mom likes me ;) BB_

He knew it was no time to joke, but he wanted to lighten the mood for him, because he was sure he more nervous than even he was.

He bit his lips, knees shaking waiting for a reply. But soon the mom appeared with a cup in her hand, so he quickly put his phone away, "Thank ye," he said as he took the glass of water from her. She sat on the sofa adjacent from him. The way she scanned him from his head to his toes, almost made him spit out his water.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Sorry, just went down the wrong way," he said, and wiped his mouth. She nodded and brushed her hair behind her ear, her gaze was wavering, and she looked like she was going to say something, but the front door hand swung open. She quickly got up, "Tommy..." she called out nervously, as her husband walked in with some bags in his hand, and behind him, Steven. It took his breath away how beautiful he looked, dressed in dark navy T-shirt with white sailor stripes, white khakis and hair slicked back, skin glowing, but he could tell he was nervous as fuck, his gaze was wavering as he walked in. His gaze caught his, and they just looked at each other.

"Brendan this is my husband-" his gaze broke away from the boy.

"No need for introductions-" her husband spat, staring at him with a penetrating glare. It was obvious he hated his guts. He would've knocked in a bit of his two senses, but he didn't for the boy's sake, because he already looked terrified and nothing had really happened yet.

Brendan stood tall, hands in pocket in front of the man, and pressed his lips shut, as he spoke, "Let me make myself clear, don't think that because you're here that I am accepting you, because I don't. If it's up to me, I wouldn't let you near here, or near my son-"

"Tom," The boy's mom interjected in warning.

"No, Daniel, let me finish," he growled, brows knitted, "I'll cut through the bullshit because you already know what I think of you, and that's never gonna change."

Brendan's fist tightened in the pockets of his trousers, and he saw the boy's eyes pleading with him to not say anything, so he held it in.

"But because, I love… because I love my son," he reiterated, "And because I'de do anything for him to be happy, anything, I am going to give you one change, and only because of him… not that you deserve him, because you don't."

Brendan nodded and looked at the man straight in the eyes, face somber.

"I am not gonna stand here and lie to ye's… say that I am some saint, suddenly, or that I deserve Steven, because I don't… And everything ye think of me it's true - I am nothing but a criminal, thug, drug dealer, everything- and I know that I am not good for ye son… all my life I've been around violence, it's what I only know… but Steven," his gaze flickered to the boy who looked like he was in verge of tears, "He changed that, made me see that the world could be good again, that… that I could love…something I never believed in or knew... ye see, my... my da, he wasn't the greatest role model," he chuckled bitterly, "I mean I used to look up to him, wanted be like him... wanted him to be…" he swallowed, rubbed his brow, he felt his emotions creeping up on him and he didn't want him to see him that way, he sniffed, "Sorry, I am... I am not good, at this," he gestured with his shaky hand.

"Brendan, you don't have to say anything, if you don't want," the boy said in a raspy tone. It was as if the boy could see the turmoil inside of him, of course he could, he understood more than anyone. He shook his head, he had to do this for the boy, if not for him self, "It's okay," he said faintly.

"Did he abuse you?" the boy's mom asked, her voice laced with concern. He didn't have to say anything because the sudden change in his demeanor spoke volumes. His lips twitched and eyes drooped, gaze wavered. He couldn't look at either of them, as he continued.

"He wanted me to be strong, ye know... be a man," he said in a low raspy voice, it's like he was talking to himself, "but I was only eight, only eight," his voice was filled with emotion, "and... and he'd tell me things, ye know… I thought it was true, that... that's why... he... he..."

He suddenly felt a hand on his arm, he looked up and it was the boy, his eyes were red and filled with tears, "You don't have to do this Brendan."

"Where is your dad now?" the boy's father asked, he was sitting down on the edge of the couch, head bowed low. Brendan swallowed, he shook his head lightly, "I... I don't know," he lied, that was one thing he could not tell them.

"What about your ma? Did she know about it?" the boy's mom asked.

He shook his head, "She... she died when I was seven, so I had to go live with my da, and Chez."

"Your sister?"

He nodded, "Half, but... but I loved her like my own blood," he said with poignant smile, "She... was... everything to me ye know, I just…I just wanted to protect her, that's why I took her and ran away from home… I couldn't let him hurt her too... I had to protect her... but..." he hadn't realized he'd been crying till he felt a tear fall down his cheek, he quickly wiped it away. He noticed how they were looking at him sympathetically, and it's not what he wanted, he didn't want their pity, "I... I... I didn't tell ye all this for ye to feel sorry for me... there's no excuse for what I've done, it's just... I just wanted ye to understand that... I get why... why ye want to protect him."

"If there is anyone that understands, it's us," The boy's mom replied in raspy tone, "Because... because Ste, he... he's."

"Steven told me already," he informed quietly; he could see it was hard for her to say it. She nodded and wiped the tears that had started to fall down her cheeks, "But we love him, so much, more than anything, so we hope you understand why we're being like this, Ste… he's suffered so much already."

Brendan nodded, his gaze lowered, there wasn't much else he could say, he knew alone how much he'd made the boy suffer.

"Both my parents, they were murdered in a shootout, when I was only two," the boy's dad suddenly had spoken, his voice low, gaze down, arms rested on his knees, "I grew up in an orphanage, didn't know till I grew older that my dad used to be drug dealer; he was involved in the gang life... I guess I was somehow lucky, because it enabled me to escape that life. When I became old enough to take care of myself, I moved out, and worked three jobs, and went to school at the same time. I met my wife Daniel during college. I promised myself that if I ever had a child, I'de raise them with all the love I could, and I'de raise them by working hard, because I didn't want them to go through the hardship that I did. I couldn't put them in harms way the way my dad did. But… but we found out later that we couldn't have children, we were devastated, tried everything, but nothing. But then one day, while watching TV, breaking news had come on… something about a house that had been burnt down, with a child and parents inside. The parents had died, but the child lived… that child was Ste."

…

Ste felt like his heart split in two, for Brendan and for his dad. It was the first time he'd heard about either of their past. And it made him feel like complete shit because he felt like he was selfish and never thought about what his parents felt, how they were hurting because of him, but at the same time all he could think about was how he wanted to hold onto Brendan and let him know he understood, more than anyone and that he would be there for him and love him the way he should've been loved in the beginning.

His mom had tears streaming down her face, while his dad continued to spill his heart, "I saw him when a fire fighter wrapped him in a blanket and rushed him towards an ambulance. They said he would be put in an orphanage because he had no other relatives. It hit me then I'de realized then that perhaps not being able to have a child was a sign, a blessing in disguise. So when Danielle came home that night, I told her about it - I wanted to adopt him. She agreed but we weren't financially stable at the moment, though, according to the adoption agency. So after working for a while I was able to take out a loan, and I opened a restaurant, I had always wanted to, and it's just then I had the perfect reason to, it took a year, but eventually were able to get enough financing, and filed for adoption, and that's when he learned about his horrific past, they told us he was psychologically unstable because of the abuse he'd been through, they didn't know the details, but it was evident. And because of that, we wanted him more. It took time, but we fought hard till we got him, and it was the happiest day of my life, our life…. I remember when I first saw him, his blonde hair, those beautiful bright blue eyes, but I could tell, I could see the damage, the sadness in them," a tear ran down his cheek, "I swore then, that I would never let anyone hurt again… so when... When I ... when I saw him with you, I lost it, because I felt like I was a failure, that I let my son get involved with someone that could destroy him, that hurt him, that would hurt him again, and I couldn't, I would never forgive myself for that…. That's why I am afraid, afraid of my son being with you," he looked up at Brendan, his eyes filled with emotion, "But we're willing to give you a chance… like I was given one, like Ste was, but only on one condition… you have to leave the life you're living behind, I mean everything, no more drugs, the violence everything has to end."

"It's, it's why I am here," Brendan replied. He turned his head and looked up at Brendan, he looked drained and exhausted as he spoke, "I am tired of living like that, tired of hurting people…" Brendan looked at him, eyes filled with emotion, "He made me want to change, gave me a reason to live… "

"If you ever, if you ever hurt our boy in anyway, I mean anyway, even make him cry, I'll end you myself, you got that?"

Brendan nodded and looked at him, "I'de kill myself before I ever hurt Steven again."

Fresh tears fell down Stes face as he looked up at Brendan. He loved the man so much, so much that it hurt.

"We should go eat, food will get cold," his mom said, breaking the silence. Ste turned his head and wiped his eyes. He pulled on Brendan's hand lightly, to follow him to the dining table.

It was perhaps the most awkward and tension filled dinner, he'd ever been too. Brendan was sat across him and with his dad next to him, and his mom next to him. He didn't really have the appetite, just took tiny bites of his lasagna his mom had made.

"So... ummm, are you living here now?" his mom asked suddenly. He noticed how Brendan hesitated for a moment before he answered,

"No ummm, I came because of Steven… but I leave tomorrow evening."

"You're going back to Chester?"

"No, Dublin."

"Ireland?" His dad asked with wide eyes. Brendan nodded.

"For what?"

"I… I am moving there…"

"So soon?" his mom asked.

"I've got some business matters, I have to deal with."

"Can't they wait? You just got here, we've barely gotten time to even, to get to know you."

Brendan let out a sigh, "I can't push it back… it's something I have to do."

"So you're telling me you want our son to pick up everything and move just because you want to. No," his dad protested.

"That's not what I am saying, I am going back to Dublin because there is something I have to do, and yes. I want to live there, but it's up to Steven, if he wants to stay here, then we will, but… I have to go tomorrow."

"If Brendan goes, I am going," Ste said firmly, "It doesn't matter where I live… even if it's paradise, if it's not with Brendan, it will be hell. And I also want to go, because I want to start somewhere new, someplace I've never been, I want to be able to live my own life."

His dad looked down in defeat. He ran his hand over his face, and nodded lightly, "Alright," he sniffed, his eyes were filled with emotion, "Alright... but, promise me, promise us, that you will visit whenever you can, and call us, face time, whatever, we just need to know how you're doing, and we need to hear from you."

"I will, I promise."

They had sat in silence for the remaining of dinner, but barely any of them had touched their plates. "I am gonna go pack your things," his mom had suddenly said and rose up from her seat.

"No, mom, it's okay, it's still early, I'll do it."

"No, please, let me," she said in a voice filled with emotion. His dad just looked down at his half empty plate. It broke Ste seeing them hurt like that, but he had to take the chance.

"I am going to go upstairs help mom," he said quietly, looked at Brendan, before heading up to his room. He opened the door slowly. His mom was on the floor, with his suitcase open, folding his clothes, but he could tell she was crying.

"Mom," he said faintly as he walked towards her.

"There's just so much stuff I don't know what to fold," she said, trying to hide her emotions, but it showed in her voice. He got down on his knees, and touched her shoulder, "I am sorry, I am so sorry."

She turned around, her eyes were red from crying, she pulled him into her arms, "No, don't, please," she pulled back, held his face in her hands, "Don't ever apologize, you've done nothing wrong. It's just I am going to miss you so much, but I know this is want you want so, I am so happy for you, and it's all I ever wanted, we ever wanted. For you to find someone who loves you, who you love, and though... though Brendan wasn't exactly what we had in mind... I mean… I was shocked at first, but, love is love right? And I can see that he loves you, and that you love him, and that's all that matters, and well… I am your mother, but I am also a woman and Brendan, he's a man any woman would throw themselves at, I mean that stache is bit strange," she chuckled lightl, it made him smile, "but it strangely suits him, and well you're not a girl... but... that doesn't matter... what I am trying to say is, I can see why you love him."

His tears streamed down, "I love him with all me heart."

She smiled poignantly, and wiped his tears away, "Love, is the most amazing thing that can happen to someone, not everyone finds it."

He believed it because he never believed in it, let alone thought he'd ever find it.

"I was lucky with your father," she said, "It was hard for me too, my parents were against me being with your dad, because of his background, but I loved him, so I risked everything for him, I ran away with him, and we moved to Chester, and I never regretted that decision. It was hard at first, but we made it through, because we were both there for each other, and then we got you, and that was the happiest time of our life. So I understand what you're feeling, and believe me, your dad does too, he just wants you to be happy."

"I am, I've never been happier," he confessed, as more tears strolled down his face. She nodded, and pulled him into a tight embrace, "Never forget how much we love you, and always will, more than anything in this world," she said as she held him tighter.

She pulled back and wiped his tears, and smiled, "There's something I've wanted to give you," she said. She went to her room and brought a blue box, she opened it, and pulled out a baby's blue shirt, that said, _Momma's boy,_ and a pair of light grey khaki's, and a pair of white loafers, "This was the first outfit I bought for you, when your adoption papers were accepted, but there had been some complications, so I saved them, but by the time, we finally got you home, they were too small for you, and I didn't have the heart to give them away or throw them… I want you to have them, do whatever you want with them."

He held them, felt the soft cotton fabric between his hands, they still looked brand new, he swallowed a lump in his throat, "Thank you," he hugged his mom and kissed her cheek, "Thank you for everything you've done for me, I couldn't have asked for a better mom than you, I love you."

"I love you too," she cried and held him tight. They stayed like that for a moment, before they continued packing.

Once they had finished packing they walked back down to the dining room, but only his dad was there.

"I told him to go and get some rest before tomorrow, it's gonna be a exhausting flight for you both," his dad had said, noticing the look of panic on his face.

"So….everything packed?"

"Yea, we just went through some stuff, we didn't realize there was so much," his mom replied.

"That's good," his dad replied, his gaze was wavering, he was trying to hide his emotions, but it wasn't working.

Ste threw himself at him, and held onto him, "Thank you, thank you so much, and I am so sorry, I am so sorry for all the pain I've caused you, I don't deserve you," Ste cried. His dad pulled back and held his face between his hands, "Don't you ever dare say or think that, you hear me." Ste nodded looking at his poignantly. "Just promise me one thing…" his dad said, "If... if you ever have any troubles or need anything, let us know, I beg of you."

"I will, I promise."

"We're blessed to have an amazing and beautiful son like you, so don't ever think otherwise," he smiled and wiped Ste's tears away, and pulled him into a tight embrace, "We're sorry for not being able to ease the pain you have been going through all this time," he said and kissed his temple. His mom joined them in the embrace, and they had stood there connected till, his dad's phone had beeped, and they broke apart laughing at the intrusion.

He had gone back to his room, and looked at his phone. There was a text from Brendan.

_U ok? BB_

He replied back.

_never better,_

_Wut about u? Ste x_

_U kno me Steven, _

_I am always ok ;) _

_C U 2morrow at 1, _

_Bought ur ticket already_ _- BB_

He texted back.

_Ok, sleep well, I love you - Ste x_

His phone buzzed seconds later, his heart started pounding when he saw the text.

_I love you too - BB_

He sat down on his bed, and read the text over and over again, smiling and gloating to himself. Everything just felt surreal, like it was a dream. But it wasn't and it was just all too much to take in. He let out a heavy breath, and lay down on his bed. For the first time in his life, he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

...

Brendan had woken up hours before the flight, had packed everything the night before because he couldn't really go to sleep with everything running through his mind. He was surprised at how it all had gone. He hadn't expected to open up so much; it felt like he took a weight off his shoulders. He realized that the boy's parents love him, more than he'd thought, because if he was in their position, he would not let him go with someone like himself regardless, because he still didn't feel he deserved the boy, he was too good for him. But he loved him, and there was no way he could let him go, even if it meant he was being selfish, for once he wanted to actually be happy.

When he looked at his phone that morning, his eyes widened at the amount of unread texts he had, all from Stacy. Also, three missed calls and tons of voice mails from Trevor. He decided to read and reply to Stacy. He laughed to himself as he read her texts.

So?... _Stacy xoxo_

_HELLO U THERE?__Stacy xoxo_

_Brendan r u ok?__Stacy xoxo_

_What u doing?__Stacy xoxo_

_Why arn't u replying back?__Stacy xoxo_

_OMG did Ste's dad kill u?__Stacy xoxo_

_BRENDAN?!__Stacy xoxo_

_Oh god, seriously ur making us_

_worried!__Stacy xoxo_

_If u don't reply we're coming__Stacy xoxo_

_FUCK BRENDAN! REPLY BACK!__Stacy xoxo_

_Ste's not answering either!__Stacy xoxo_

_That's it, I am telling Ronnie,_

_we're coming first thing 2morrow morning- Stacy xoxo_

He chuckled to himself, and replied back.

_I guess u guys don't know_

_wut time difference means- BB_

She had replied within a minute.

_OMG, we're literately about_

_2 get tickets, online!__Stacy xoxo_

Brendan laughed, they really were something.

_U don't have 2 _

_Steven n I are going to Dublin_

_2today- BB_

He laughed so hard when he received her next text.

_WTFF! HOLLYSHIT! OMFG! UR_

_FUCKING KIDDING RIGHT! U BETTER_

_NOT B, OR I SWEAR BRENDAN I_

_WILL FUCKING KILL U MYSELF!_

_OMFG! O.O Stacy xoxo_

_I am serious, we leave in two hours- BB_

_me and ronnie are literally about 2_

_die, u have no idea, I think_

_I am goin 2 have a 3 attack - Stacy xoxo_

_Another one came in before he could even respond._

_But no seriously, we are so happy right now_

_we're fucking crying, u better send us_

_the address to wherever u guys_

_stayin, cuz we will b comin to c u guys soon!_

_XD_-_ Stacy xoxo_

_I will :) Thank you - BB_

He really was thankful to Stacy, because she had given him that push that he needed, that he perhaps wouldn't have taken because he knew he was a coward.

He sat on his bed, and listened to Trevor's voice messages. He smiled as he called him back.

"Fuck, and here I was thinking something probably happened, you alright?" Trevor answered immediately. Brendan laughed, "I am alive, unfortunately," he quipped.

"When you returning?" Trevor asked.

Brendan spilled the bean to him, told him everything, and let him know he wouldn't be working for him anymore, and if there were consequences for leaving, he'd pay for it in any he had to, but unlike Danny, Trevor had a fucking heart, and was loyal and understanding.

"No, Brendan, when I asked you to work for me, I asked you because I wanted to give you a chance. I am where I am, because someone long ago gave me that chance too, so I am glad that I was able to help you out. I may not have known you for long Brendan, but I know a good man when I see one, even though you're a hard ass, but that's alright, it's why I liked you in the first place."

Brendan laughed, "Thank ye Trevor, I mean it, if ye need anything, just ring me… I mean as a mate, if ye wanna talk or anything."

Trevor laughed, "I might ask for relationship advices."

"Shut up," Brendan joked.

"Alright, talk soon yea… and treat the lad well, he's one of a kind, because I mean, really, who'd want to be with you?"

Brendan laughed, "What can I say, I am strangely irresistible."

Trevor laughed hard, "Right, well Mr. Irresistible, get going, before you miss your flight, and don't forget to send me a postcard, I am old fashioned that way."

Brendan laughed, "I'll make sure ye mailbox chokes with post cards."

Brendan laughed to himself as he picked up his luggage, and head out.

The cab had arrived by the time he reached the boy's house. He was already outside by by the cab, with his parents. He had on a blue T-shirt that said Hawaii in white letters, of light jeans, suitcase in hand, the sun shined on his golden skin, and he just wanted to kiss him so badly. He walked towards them with a smile, and greeted his parents, before he looked at him, and smiled. The boy blushed, looking at him under his lashes.

He watched as the boy emotionally bid farewell. It was a sudden shock, when the boy's mom hugged him too, "You take care of my son," she said, looking up at him with a gentle smile, as she wiped her tears away.

"Make sure you protect him with your life, remember I'll still be watching you," the dad added, a slight grin on his face, but Brendan knew he was serious.

"Ye got my word." Brendan replied.

The boy was an emotional wreck, tears streaming down his face, as they got into the cab, and waved goodbye.

"Ye alright?" he asked the boy, who hiccuping and sniffing because he was crying so much. He looked so young, vulnerable, almost like when a child is being a taken away from their parents. The boy didn't reply, he just kept sobbing lightly.

He realized that maybe he was making a mistake; maybe he was moving too fast, the boy was still very young and naive in many ways.

"Steven, maybe this isn't right, we can turn back if ye want," he suggested.

The boy looked up at him, eyes blocked shocked, "No," he protested almost like the notion of it was insane. He gripped Brendans arm, his eyes wide, "No, I want to be with you Brendan, this is what I want. I love you, and I want to be with you," he cried, he lowered his gaze, "It's… it's just I am gonna miss them, you know, I've lived with them practically all my life, but it's okay because I have you now and that's enough…" he said in a raspy voice, looking up at him.

"I promise once everything is settled, we'll come visit, we'll come anytime ye want."

The entire plane ride was spent with them stealing glances at each other, smiling, hand stroking whenever the lights turned off. It felt like a new chapter in his life, one he would have never imaged three years ago.

…

When they arrived at Dublin airport, it was dark, and stormy. Ste called his parents letting them know they had arrived safely, and that he'd call them back when they got settled down in their place.

Brendan grabbed them a cab at the airport once they received their luggage, "We staying in at hotel?" Ste asked curiously.

"No, at my flat…"

"You bought a flat?" Ste asked with wide eyes. Brendan laughed lightly, "Well, I needed to live somewhere."

Ste nodded.

"But now it's ours," Brendan said with a smirk, and Ste smiled, he wanted to kiss Brendan, but he wasn't sure with the cab driver staring at them like a creep through the rear view mirror. Wasn't sure Brendan would be alright with it. So instead he looked out at the city, imagining Brendan growing up. "What?" he asked bashfully when he caught Brendan staring. He smirked lightly, "Nothing…Ye hungry?"

"Not really," he was still full from the plane food.

When the cab reached their destination, it was storming like crazy. Brendan told him to take cover under the door roof of their apartment, while he fetched their luggages and for the fare.

The apartment was next to an old shutdown Irish pub in the corner of a street somewhere in the center of Dublin. He couldn't really make out the features because of the rain and wind.

He laughed when Brendan ran towards him, luggage in hand, drenched, and cursing, because the cab driver didn't have change for a big bill, "Bloody drivers think I am a fucking cash machine," Brendan cursed, as he put the luggage down, and looked at Ste with a smirk, "I know I look a mess," he said breathlessly as he reached into his pockets for the keys.

"You look a hot mess," Ste replied with a suggestive grin. Brendan snarled at him, as he opened the door. His heart started pounding for some reason; it was just a mix of everything, excitement, nervousness, and the fact he really was about to start his life with Brendan. Brendan suddenly pulled on a string that lit up a small hallway that led up to a wooden staircase. He could tell the place had been vacant for a while, because the corner of the walls were covered in cobwebs, and the wooden floor in dust. The mustard yellow paint on the walls, were cracked and chipped with age.

"I know it's not what ye expected, but, we're gonna get it fixed," Brendan explained. Ste shook his head, "It doesn't matter to me," he walked up to Brendan and grabbed the lapel of his leather jacket, "As long as I am with you, I can even live in a dungeon."

"I don't deserve ye, ye know that," he said as he ran the back of his fingers on his cheek.

"Stop saying that," Ste said in anger, he hated it. Brendan dropped the luggage, and pressed him against the wall, kissing him hard and fiercely. He could taste the rain on Brendan's tongue, and it was intoxicating. He ran his hand through Brendan's wet hair, deepening the kiss. He pushed Brendan's jacket off, and lifted his black shirt, feeling under his warm taut, damp abbs, up to his chest, feeling the dark hairs between his fingers. Brendan broke away from the kiss, and pulled his shirt over his head and then pulled Ste's off. Frantically unbuckled his belt and zipper and pulled his jeans down to his knees. He lifted his thigh, and pressed his body against his. The cold of his belt buckle pressed against groin, making him whimper. He clawed Brendan's damp back with one hand, while the other tangled in Brendan's wet hair. Brendan made these animalistic sounds as he kissed him hungrily. That was it, he was with Brendan now, and nothing mattered anymore. He cried out, as Brendan sucked and bit his pink nipples, making them sore and erect, while his hand gripped his cock and tossed him off. He kissed down his stomach, down to his groin. Brendan spat on his cock, and licked the lit, driving him insane. He pushed his pelvis forward wanting to feel Brendan's mouth. Brendan didn't leave him hanging, he took him into his mouth, deep, sucking him hard and relentlessly, while squeezing and caressing his cheeks, and pressed against his tight hole. Ste had to hold onto the wall to keep himself from falling over as he climaxed thundered through his body, and before he could warn Brendan he came hard into his mouth, panting and breathless. But he didn't have time to calm down, because Brendans mouth was on his, making him taste himself. "Ye taste fucking amazing," he hissed in low gravely tone, and tugged at the flesh of his bottom lip. He looked into Brendan's eyes, "You want me to?" he asked breathlessly.

"It's okay, ye don't have to."

"I want to," he replied, he wanted to pleasure Brendan the way he did, so he got on his knees. He opened his belt, and zip, he looked up at Brendan, who smirked at him, ran his hand through his hair letting him know it was okay. He pulled down his jeans with his shorts, his breath caught in his throat when his hard cock sprung out. He kept forgetting how big he was. For a second he was worried that he wouldn't be able to take him into his mouth.

"Just take it slow, don't go too far," Brendan said to him as if he had read his mind.

With his finger he felt up the thick vein on the side, it felt so silky and smooth, made Ste salivate. Brendan thread his fingers through his hair and encouraged him to go further. So he leaned in and kissed the head, and licked the slit that was already oozing cum. Brendan groaned and cursed as he twisted his tongue around the head of his cock, mimicking what Brendan had done to him. But it wasn't only Brendan receiving pleasure from it, he loved the feel of his cock in his mouth, tasting the tanginess of his cum, and his own saliva. He gripped Brendan's hip and bopped his head back and forth, taking in as much as he could, Brendan let him take control, not even once thrusting into his mouth. The sounds that came out of Brendan's mouth, assured him he was doing it right. "Fuck,….oh god, I am… I am gonna come," Brendan warned, he tried to pull back, but he wanted to taste Brendan so he held onto him tighter, and sucked him faster. Regardless of Brendan's warning, when he came into his mouth, it was so much cum, and he tried to swallow, but he ended choking and spitting it out.

"Fuck, ye okay?" Brendan quickly pulled up his jeans and helped him up to his feet. He nodded and wiped his lips, "I am sorry," he said lowly feeling pathetic that he wasn't able to swallow.

"Hey, it's okay," Brendan lifted his chin, "Ye were amazing," he said and kissed him. "Come one, let's go up," he said and brushed his hair back behind his ear.

"This place is ancient," Brendan quipped, as they walked up the steps that crooked every step they took. Ste laughed, "I've seen worse," he said.

The apartment was bigger than the old apartment Brendan used to live in, but not as big as the new one he'd seen in Chester, and definitely not as posh. The walls were a dull cream color, darkened with age. A white curtain hung above the large window in the living room area. There was definitely cleaning needed to be done. He jumped when Brendan snuck up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, and kissed his neck. He giggled, and blushed, he wasn't used to it. It felt so good though, being in his arms like that, feeling his hot breath against his neck, "I think ye need a shower… ye all sweaty," Brendan whispered hotly in his ear. His eyes sprang open, "You're saying I stink?"

"Maybe," Brendan nuzzled his face into his neck, sniffing him, "I love ye smell, makes me want to eat ye." He closed his eyes and hummed as Brendan sucked the sensitive spot on his neck, and turned him around, and kissed up his neck, and jaw, then kissed his lips, and slipped his tongue into his mouth.

Ste wrapped his arms around Brendan's neck and angled his head, so that their tongues could go deep. Brendan lifted him by the thighs. He gasped when he felt his back hit something cold, they were in a bathroom, the entire thing was made of cream colored tiles covering the floor and walls; Mediterranean style, the kind where you could get the entire place wet and the water goes down a drain in the middle of the bathroom. It was the first time he'd seen one like it.

"I've always liked these kinds," Brendan said with a sexy smirk, noticing the way he was looking at the bathroom in awe, "Ye can get it as wet and dirty as ye like." Ste flushed at the idea. Brendan reached over to the faucet and turned it on, he gasped again when cold water fell onto his back, but Brendan didn't seem fazed by it, he gripped his face, and kissed him hard, pressing his body against his. They were still in their jeans, while the shower drenched them in hot water as they kissed deeply. Brendan pulled down his jeans and tossed it somewhere on the ground and then took his off, so that they were both completely naked and wet. He leaned his head back against the tiled wall as Brendan kissed all over his body, sucking the water off him. Then he turned him around, so his hands were on the tiles.

He heard a click; he turned his head and saw Brendan staring at him with dark eyes squirting some kind of liquid onto his hands. He turned his head back, and braced himself, he gasped when he felt Brendan's fingers against his entrance and pushed in, the water helped with the guild of his finger, which soon became two, then three. Brendan kissed down his spine and neck as he fucked him with his fingers, stretching him. He then pulled out and replaced his fingers with his cock.

The pleasure was immense, head spinning, as Brendan fucked him, his hands gripped tightly on his hips as he pushed in and out of him. He cried out as Brendan hit his prostate over and over again. His knees buckled when he came, so Brendan held him up by the waist as he fucked him harder and faster through his aftershock and pushed deep inside of him, and held there, and came hard. Ste cried with it, the feel of his warm cum inside of him, was one of the most tantalizing pleasures, "Ye so fucking amazing Steven, I can't get enough of ye," Brendan said breathlessly, draped over his back. He pulled out of him, and then grabbed the shampoo, and lathered Ste's body and hair with it.

Ste turned around and did the same, rubbed Brendan's body with foam, it felt like silk. They kissed languidly as they washed each other all over, their bodies glided smoothly against each other.

He caressed Brendan's back with his fingers, feeling all over his muscles, down his spine and over his ass. It was smooth, and firm, he wanted to feel more of it, so he lowered his fingers. Suddenly Brendan had pulled back, his hand tightly gripped on his wrist, "Don't ye ever fucking touch me there," he barked with knitted brows. He released his hand harshly and stormed out the bathroom. Ste stood there frozen, as his eyes swelled up with tears.

...


	18. Chapter 18

A/N, Ok, so this is it guys! I can't believe it's finally the end. Thank you so much for sticking with me through this journey. It's been such a pleasure writing for you all, and I know it's been a bumpy ride, but I hope it was worth it. And now it's time for this journey to end, and it saddens me because I really enjoyed writing this story, and your reviews kept me going, but it's the one I took the longest to finish, because during it, I had some much going on, so as much as it hurts to end it, because it's become like my baby lol, I am also glad, because I feel it's time. Time for me to take a little break, but I will be writing another Stendan fic, so I hope you all are still around to read it. ^_^ I hate writing usually, but writing for stendan, I LOVE IT, because there is so much that you can do with their characters, because they are so diverse and just beautiful. I hope this ending is satisfying and if not you guys can rant to me. Thank you again so much for following me through this long journey and being so patient when I failed to update often. This is the longest chapter in the entire fic so I hope that's okay!

YOU GUYS ARE JUST THE BEST! Love you all! Good bye, till the next one! Please Leave final reviews! ^_^

**...**

**Chapter 18 **

**...**

The memories had kept crawling their way out while he vaguely revealed his past to them. But he wanted to keep _that _secret buried, afraid that if he exposed it, the walls he'd built for himself all those years that barricaded the outer world, would crumble, and along with it the power and control he'd worked hard to get back. He thought it was working that he could finally hide it, but then the boy had touched him, and all those memories resurfaced, so he had to leave the bathroom in fear that he'd do something he'd regret.

His entire body sweat shook and heart trembled, as he retreated to his room and closed the door. His head began to throb with the dark flashbacks. He felt dizzy and disoriented, he fell onto his bed, gripped his head, rocking back and forth, trying to block them, but to no avail, whimpering sounds escaped his mouth, as began to relive the horrid past.

_"Yea, ye like that? Don't ye, fucking like that, come on, say it," he growled next to his ear, his monstrous hands gripped his hair, forcing him to cry out in agony. He stunk of sweat and whiskey, "Ye know ye do, ah, ah fuck, ye… ye fucking queer, fucking like that," he whispered venomously into his ear as he plunged into him mercilessly. He felt like he was being ripped from the inside out, walls being torched with fire, and stabbed with millions of needles. His tiny body was defenseless against his large burly body, and all he could do was shed endless tears, and hope that it would end soon, but it felt endless, like time stopped every time he did it. _

_"Come on, Brenda, fucking say it, say it, fucking shit, ugghhh," he felt like his entire body was being crushed as he pushed inside him with immense force, and released his poison inside of him. He pulled out harshly, leaving him feeling numb. He hovered over him, and gripped his face, forcing him to look at him, it was like looking into the devils eyes, "Ye disgusting piece of shit," he sneered in his face, and punched him brutally in the stomach, his lungs collapsed as his breath failed to come out. _

_"Brenda…" he called out, sounded faint. _

_"Brendan…"_

_"Please, no… no… leave… leave me alone," he whimpered._

_"I am sorry… I… I… didn't mean to," he touched his shoulder, it made him jerk, in impulse, he pushed him back hard, and he flew to the ground with a hard thud, it was a first, it couldn't be, there was no way he could do that, he never had that power, he looked at his hands, they were bigger, he looked down, his eyes widened, the person on the floor wasn't Seamus though, it was Steven. Before he could register anything, the boy got up, and ran out the room. _

He froze for a second, trying to decipher the difference between reality and the past. Suddenly the sound of a door closing startled him, bringing him out of his unconscious state out mind. "Steven!" he called out in a raspy tone, and ran out the room. He'd realized he was still naked, so he hastily grabbed a pair of jean from his suitcase, and put it on. Without zipping, he ran after him down the steps, and grabbed his arm just before he reached the door, and span him around.

The look on his face startled him, his eyes were red, cheeks stained with tears, hair all over the place, snot was running down his nose, lips quivering; he so tiny, and frightened.

"I… I didn't mean too, I don't… I don't know what happened, I… I just… I just… I wasn't thinking, I… I didn't… I didn't know it was… it was ye… I just saw him, I jus… I saw him… an… and I… I… I lost it… I… I… didn't mean to push ye like that…" he tried to explain, but his words were jumbled and erratic, "I didn't, I- I am-"

"Who did you see?" The boy asked in a low, raspy tone, making him freeze. He swallowed a large lump in his throat, and turned his gaze away, breathing heavily. His face scrunched up in bitterness, filled with agony and pain, as he gripped the back of his head, turned away from the boy, because he didn't know how to explain.

"Brendan…" the boy spoke with a cautious tone.

"There's things…" he started in low, cracked voice, placed his hands on the wall, fingers pressed against it, and his fingertips hurt from the pressure, it was like he was trying to claw the solid wall out. He leaned his forehead against it, let out low whimper, lips twitched, felt like they were being forced to move. He closed his and let out a heavy breath, "There's… there's these… things… demons inside of me… and I… I can't get rid of them… I want to, I've tried, but I can't... What… what I am… who I am… it's… it's all…" his voice trembled, "It's- it's," he turned his head slightly, "It's like… he's a part of me… ye know… stuck there… he embedded that demon, and… he… he killed that love inside of me… and… and I can't, I can't get it back-"

"No…" the boy cried out, "You're not-" he cut the boy off because he knew if he stopped he wouldn't be able to continue and he had to do it.

"What… what I told ye… about my da… it..

"I know, I know, you told me," the boy said in vulnerable tone, "You don't have to-"

"It… it was just a water downed version," the boy didn't' say anything else. "He… he… he," he felt like he was suffocating, his mouth felt dry, and bitter, he gestured with his fingers, with what he couldn't say, as if the boy would understand, his breath trembled, "He… he abused me Steven… Sexually… for eight years."

He was too disoriented, to tell if the whimper he heard was the boys or his own.

…

It felt like he was punched in the gut with an immense force, he felt breathless. His back collided with the wall, and slid down, because he could no longer support the weight of his body.

His eyes drowned with tears, throat dried up, and lips quivered, as he shook his head in disbelief. If anything, if anything he prayed was a nightmare, was that moment. He just couldn't fathom the thought.

Not Brendan, not the strongest man he'd ever known. The abuse had been a shock, but not a surprise based on Brendan's character and behaviors, but to be brutalized like that, by his own dad, for so long, it just disgusted him to the core.

Brendan dragged down the wall, opposite him, his gaze low, knees up, arms rest on his knees.

Ste just looked at him, with wide, red eyes, as tears streamed down his face, he couldn't speak, the only sounds, was the static from the flickering lights above, and Brendan's shallow breathes.

He looked up at him finally, his eyes were the brightest he'd ever seen, glossy, but there was no light, just darkness, so deep, it seemed endless.

"At night time…" he began to speak again, his voice low, almost like a whisper, but more calm, "I'de pray, ye know, I'de pray so hard, that he wouldn't come up, but… but then I'd hear the footsteps… and I knew... I thought either God wasn't listening, or… or just didn't plain like me," he chuckled lightly, but it was filled with bitterness.

Ste's heart was trembling, and he felt so cold, entire body broke out in goosebumps, he wanted to stop Brendan, because he could see how much it was paining him, but he also wanted him to let it out, to free himself of that demon.

"I… I would repeat the eight times table in my head," he closed his eyes and started reciting them in a haunting whisper, but then stopped, and his eyes opened, "I thought it would make it end faster, "I… was top in my eight times table, got gold star for it," he smiled ever so slightly, but it was filled with pain, "A gold star," he reiterated in a low tone. "Most of the times, I'de pretend to be… asleep, that… that way he didn't talk to me."

Tears streamed down Ste's face uncontrollably, "Why… why didn't you tell me before?" he asked in a broken, raspy voice.

"Because of the way ye looking at me right now, like some damaged goods-"

"No, I don't think that, right-" he protested, but Brendan went on.

"I can see the cogs connecting… son wanted father to love him, but father loved son a bit too much… son… he… he turned out ugly inside and out-"

"No…" Ste cried out in broken voice, he licked his dried lips, and swallowed, "What… he… what he did to you, it's…" he couldn't even get himself to say the words, because he felt like bile was going to rise out of his stomach, "No … no one should have gone through that, no one, he… he deserves to be punished for what he did, it wasn't your fault Brendan… you… you were only a kid," his tears pooled down, and his chest felt like it was smashed into tiny pieces because he realized he'd never know truly what Brendan went through, because he couldn't ever imagine himself in that situation, he'd never survive something so brutal and inhumane.

"But it's just excuses, thousands of people have gone through what I have but they didn't turn out like me… I mean look at ye."

Ste shook his head, "No, it's not true, what I went through, it's not the same, if… if… if that ever happened to me… I, I don't think I could survive…" he cried, then suddenly a flashback came back to him.

_I'll do to him, what your dad did to you_

He looked up at Brendan with wide eyes, realizing what Brendan had actually done for him, he'd saved him from being raped. And it just broke his heart even more.

"When… when did it start?" he asked in raspy tone.

"At the holiday home, my Nanna's house… I sometimes... wondered if… if she knew, ye know…"

"Maybe… maybe you can speak to her…"

Brendan shook his head, "She died five years ago… lung cancer."

"Why didn't you ask her?"

"I was… I was afraid, what if… what if she did know, and… and," Brendan's head was hung low, slouched, he could see the pain.

"She would've done something… she was your grandma."

"And he was my da…" Brendan replied in a broken bitter voice. It stabbed daggers in Ste's chest, seeing him like that, "When… when did it stop?" He asked in a raspy voice, it killed him, but he wanted to know, he wanted to feel the pain, that Brendan did, even know he knew it never would measure up to it.

"It never stops, not in here anyways," he pointed to his head, "He's, he's always in my head, and I can't get him out."

"You're not that little boy anymore Brendan, he can't hurt you anymore."

"I killed him," Brendan relieved quietly. Ste froze.

"That's, that's the monster I am, Steven."

Ste shook his head, "No… you're not, he was, he deserved it… you did what you had to, I understand that."

"I am afraid… Steven… I am afraid that… it will never go away… what if… if I can't change… what if… what if next time I hurt ye."

Ste crawled towards him, and took his face in his hands, "Look at me Brendan," he made Brendan look him in the eyes, "You have changed, you have… I trust you Brendan, I trust you even if you don't, we can get through this together, we will," he pulled him into his arms, "I… I won't let you go, I won't," and held onto him tightly, and for the first time, he heard Brendan sob, and it just broke him completely.

…

Brendan had pulled back, eyes dried out from crying. He never wanted the boy to see him that way, see him so small, and broken. But he realized it was inevitable, the boy had cracked his walls long ago; it was just a matter of time it crumbled.

The boy looked up at him, with glossy eyes, he was about to say something, but gripped his head and covered his mouth with his, heavy and rough. He could taste his own tears as well as the boys. He didn't want to hear anything, or talk, he just needed him, wanted to feel him, opened the boy up and crawl into him, because he made him feel alive made him feel human. He unzipped the boy, and pulled his pants down hastily. Lifted his legs around his waist, and the boy was holding on him just as fiercely, kissing him with the same amount of force. They broke apart, panting, and groaning as he hoisted him up with one hand as he pulled out his cock, spit on it, and pushed inside of him groaning.

The boy held onto him tightly, crying out without holding back as he fucked him adamantly against the wall. He couldn't tell if they were both crying from the immense pleasure, or the emotions that took over them. He buried his face in the boy's neck, panting and grunting against it, his hot breath, creating moisture against it. Their bodies trembled as they released themselves, breathless. He slowly pulled out of the boy and let him down. They both pulled up their jeans, and didn't say anything. Brendan grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs with him.

He pulled him onto the bed, neither of them changed, held him into his arms, and without uttering a word, they fell asleep, both exhausted physically and emotionally.

He'd woken up early morning, felt like he'd slept for days, perhaps because the boy was by his side, and he somehow felt lighter.

The room was cast in rays of sun peering through the blind of the window. He turned his head and there he was the most beautiful thing in the world. He looked like doll, with his morning dew skin, soft, plump pink lips that were parted lightly, and those long lashes of his, that cast a shadow on his cheeks. He just stared at him, couldn't believe after all that the boy was still there with him, he hadn't abandoned him. He slowly rose up from the bed, not wanting to awaken the boy. Took a shower, got dressed and head out to meet this guy that was selling the pub next to his apartment. He had put an offer on it, but it wasn't till that morning till he'd found out he got it.

He took in the fresh morning air. For some reason he felt light, his body relaxed. After signing a few papers and finalizing the deal with the pub, he returned back to his apartment with a bag of breakfast he got from a deli near their apartment.

The boy was still asleep when he returned. He took off his jacket, and shoes, placed the bag of food on the lamp table, and crawled onto the bed. The boy squirmed, but didn't wake up. Brendan smiled, at how adorable he looked. He leaned down and kissed the exposed skin right above his chest, then over his collarbone. The boy squirmed under him, and slowly opened his eyes, and it took his breath away, the beauty of them. "Good morning gorgeous," he said in low, deep voice, and the boy smiled, touched his chest with his fingers, and looked up at him in awe, like he couldn't believe he was there.

"When did you wake up?" he asked.

"While ago."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Ye just looked so beautiful sleeping, didn't want wake ye."

The boy blushed, and crinkled his nose. Brendan snarled and leaned in to kiss him, but the boy held him back with his hand, "I've not brushed my teeth."

Brendan smirked, "I don't care, I love how ye taste regardless," he snarled and kissed his mouth. The boy gave in and opened his mouth for him, and slipped in his tongue, it was so warm, it was amazing. They hummed and groaned with it. He pulled back slightly, his mouth hovering over his; he leaned in to kiss him again, but pulled back, taunting the boy, "What ye want to do?" he asked in a low tone a seductive smirk on his lips.

The boy smiled coyly, wrapped his hands around his neck, and, "ummmm… I…" he bit his lips in suggestion, and blushed. He didn't have to continue because Brendan got the gist of it. He snarled, and the boy just blushed more. He kissed him, angled his head, so he could get deep as he can, sucking, and licking inside his mouth, he groaned with it, couldn't get enough of kissing the boy.

…

Ste could live with Brendan's kisses alone; they made him delirious, intoxicated, the world outside ceased to exist whenever they kissed.

Brendan began kissing down his neck, his chest, and down his stomach, he was already hard, and was desperate for Brendan to be inside of him. Brendan pulled down his short, wet his fingers with his saliva and looked up at him with dark eyes, mouth parted and breathing hot breaths against his cock. He gasped when Brendan pushed in two fingers inside of him.

He gripped onto the bed sheets, as Brendan fucked him with his fingers, soon added two, and then he'd gripped his cocked with the other and started sucking him off, while fucking him with his fingers. The pleasure was blindingly euphoric, and before he could even warn Brendan, he came hard into his mouth, and crawled over him, his mouth was parted opened, breathless. Brendan kissed him, and he felt his warm cum, mixed with Brendan's saliva swirl around in his mouth. He swallowed it as Brendan pushed his tongue deeper and groaned like he was eating the most delicious thing. Brendan pulled back, his mouth was slick with saliva, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smirked, and God, it made Ste breathless, the man was just too much, too hot. Ste looked down, and noticed Brendan's cock straining in his jeans, so he reached for it, but Brendan gripped his hand and put them above his head, he shook his head, "No touching," he said thickly, then lowered his head next to his ear, "Turn around," he said in a thick gravely tone, and it literally shot down his body right to his cock, hardening him.

He smirked and turned over. He looked over his shoulder, and saw Brendan open his zip and pull down his jeans, and tossed them onto the ground. And it made Ste feel exposed because Brendan was practically all dress, and he was stark naked, but it made him more excited at the same time. He was about to lift his ass in the air, but Brendan pulled him up, "Sit on me," he said, said on the edge of the bed, and Ste didn't know which way, so he placed his legs around him, facing him. Brendan spat on his cock, and lifted him by the hip, "Part ye ass, for me," he said thickly, as he kissed him on the neck and stroked himself. "God, boy, ye so sexy," he said to him as he reached behind himself and parted his cheeks and rubbed over his hole and lowered himself to Brendan hard cock that was covered in saliva. He moaned heavily as Brendan cock pushed in, it hurt slightly, because Brendan was just so big, but he loved it, loved how Brendan filled him completely. Brendan gripped his hip and pushed him down all the way, and began kissing him as he pushed up from underneath him, and he began pushing himself up and down on Brendan's cock, it was, the most amazing feeling ever, wrapped around Brendan like that, felt like he couldn't get any closer than they already were. Brendan gripped and kneaded his cheeks as his cock disappeared in and out of him. The silkiness off Brendan cock around his walls, and the head slamming against his prostate drove him crazy.

He threw his head back, angling his hip to get deeper. Brendan gripped his hips harder and began fucking him from below, and Ste followed pace as he felt his orgasm crawling through his body. Brendan cursed through open mouth kisses, and heavy pants. He held him down hard, slamming against his prostate, and they both came together, hard. His cum splattered all over Brendan's shirt, and Brendan's cum filled inside of him. He fucked himself down onto Brendan's cock in deep strokes through the aftershocks. He gripped onto Brendan, laid his head onto his shoulder and just held onto him, while Brendan's cock was still buried inside of him.

He began gyrating his hips, rocking himself down on Brendan, his cock still buried deep inside. Suddenly Brendan turned him so his back was on the bed, without pulling out, he wrapped his legs around Brendan tightly, and Brendan fucked him deep and hard, his nails raked down Brendan's back, he cried out as he slammed his cock against his prostate, making his head spin with the pleasure. He lifted his pelvis wanting Brendan to get deeper as he could, his entire body shook as his orgasm released and he shot all over Brendan's shirt, Brendan thrust into him harder few more times, and held deep inside of him, and came inside of him, he groaned obscenely, and buried his head in the grove of Ste's neck. They both held on till they came down, both breathless.

Brendan sucked his ear lobe and bit it lightly; eliciting, a light whimper from Ste, then kissed his jaw up to his mouth, and looked at him deeply with dark eyes, "So I'll ask again, what ye wanna do today. Anything ye want, I am ye man, whatever the pleasure," he smirked sexily, and leaned in and kissed him again, and tugged at his bottom lip, before pulling back, and looking into the blue pools of his eyes. "I want to see where you grew up."

Brendan just looked at him, expression somber, he ran his fingers through Ste's hair, "Alright… but first, we need to eat," he pulled out of him slowly, and grabbed his hand and pulled him up. He opened a brown bag that was on the lamp table. He gave him a croissant. He bit his lower lip, watching in fascination as Brendan gobbled it down.

"What?" Brendan said smirking as he chewed.

'You got a crumb in your stache."

"Where?" he said, trying to clean it off. Ste wiped it off with his finger. Brendan smirked and finished the rest of it before he'd even started him.

"Ye finish up, I'am gonna go take a shower first, join me when ye done," he said with a smirk and rose up from the bed.

Ste quickly ate his croissant, and jumped out the bed. The bathroom was steamy when he walked in. Brendan pulled him under the shower, and kissed him, and wiped the foam from his body onto his. They took time washing each other, kissing, groping, and tickling. Brendan gripped his hips and pulled him close, "We're never gonna get out of here, if we don't stop." Ste laughed and wrapped his arms around Brendan's, "I don't mind," he said and kissed him. Brendan pushed him up against the wall, as the water cascaded down on them. Brendan kissed all over his neck and started humping him, grabbed, Ste's cock and started tossing him off, Ste took him into his hand and they both started tossing each other while kissing, and panting into each others mouth as they came together.

Brendan dried him up with a towel. He got dressed first, blue sweater, leather and dark jeans. He told Ste to meet him outside, because they both knew they wouldn't be able to leave the apartment if they stayed together.

Ste debated on what to wear, he wanted to look good, because this was his first time going out with Brendan, properly, and his heart pounded in excitement at the thought. He settled on a light blue sweater, and black waistcoat, because unlike Hawaii, the weather wasn't so friendly and warm. The sun began to hide itself behind the clouds, but to him it was a beautiful day, because Brendan was there with him.

He turned his head, and saw Brendan was standing by the wall, the sole of his shoe against the brick wall. He was looking down, but not particularly at anything, like he was lost in his thoughts. But then he turned his head, the sun shone on his face, pale blue eyes glimmered. And he smiled lightly, and it was so beautiful. Ste smiled back, "Thought you left me," he joked as he walked towards him.

"Thought about it, but couldn't leave ye walking around by ye self, looking like that," he said looking him up and down with hungry eyes. And it made Ste feel hot all over though it was slightly chilly out.

"Where we going?" he asked curiously.

"Ye've had Guinness before?"

Ste scrunched his nose, in thought, shook his head, "No… I don't drink, remember."

Brendan chuckled, "Well, this is something ye have to try it's a Irish classic, some people come here just to try it, there's this local pub just around the corner, used to go to it all the time."

He followed Brendan down the brick roads that was scattered with people going on with their day. Brendan ordered them two large cups; they sat down at a mettle round table. He couldn't help laugh when Brendan had a foam mustache over his real mustache. Brendan licked it off, and scuffed him. He tried his, and scrunched his nose, "Rank that innit?"

"It's a required taste, Steven," he took it from him and poured it onto the ground. His eyes widened, "What you do that for?"

"It's not for ye, come on, lets go."

He was about to cross the road, not paying attention when a bus suddenly drove past, Brendan grabbed his arm and pulled him back. Ste looked at him, and laughed lightly. Brendan shook his at him, placed the palm of his hand on his back, guiding him across the street.

"The place has hardly changed," Brendan spoke, as he looked out at the cityscape, familiarizing himself with it. They walked down the side of the dock, stealing glances at each other. It was like the world was only theirs, in that moment; he wouldn't change anything for the world.

"I used to come here often with the lads, almost drowned, good lad," Brendan quipped.

"You were a right nutter," Ste joked. He could imagine little Brendan jumping in, all brave, daring like he was now, "I bet you still had a mustache," he said and placed his fingers above his lip. Brendan laughed lightly, "When my da found out, he… he beat me, he'd find any reason to do it, said I needed to be a man."

Ste just stared at the water below his feet, "I used to think… if I had my real dad, that things would've been different, that my mom, would love me. She blamed me for him leaving, said I was a burden he couldn't handle, waste of space, and I believed it… I got it the worst on my birthdays… she said it was my punishment for being born. Sometimes I couldn't get out of bed, could barely eat, because my ribs hurt just from swallowing, me mom would call me in sick from school, and when I went, Terry would hit me below the face, so that no one could see the bruises."

Brendan chuckled bitterly, he knew it was most likely the same fore him.

"But it's not the same, I mean… now I know, because… Terry wasn't my real dad."

"Blood means nothing… only difference is whatever makes him doesn't make you tick, but me… me… I am like Seamus 2.0, his blood runs in me."

"No," Ste cried, "You're nothing like him Brendan… you're the strongest person I know, if he were me, I… I don't know if I could have survived…" he lowered his head, and swallowed, "Now, now I understand why, you… you beat me."

Brendan looked at him, "I am, I am sorry, I… I wanted, I wanted to tell ye, but…I just-"

"I understand why you couldn't… I do. Did… did Cheryl know… about, you know?"

Brendan shook his head, "No… I couldn't ruin her childhood too…. when we ran away, I just told her that our da didn't want us anymore, she was young, but… but I think deep down she knew something was wrong, that's why she never brought it up, nor questioned me… but she probably knows now though."

"What you mean?"

"She's right here," Brendan gazed out into the water, "Threw her ashes there, it's what she wanted, said that way she could be everywhere, watching over me, anywhere I go."

Ste swallowed a lump in his throat; his eyes began to moisture, he'd always wanted to ask Brendan about Cheryl's grave, he looked down at the dark water, swishing back and forth.

"All, I wanted to do was protect her, ye know, be that brother, she could be proud of, but I couldn't even do that."

"She was, every time she talked about you, her eyes lit up, because she saw the real you… and even through everything you went through, you still had that goodness in you, even if you don't believe it, I see it, and she saw it too, it's why she stayed with you, it's, it's why she loved you, it's why I love you."

Brendan just looked at him, his eyes filled with emotion, like he couldn't believe what Ste was saying to him. He let out exhausted sigh, "I… I don't deserve ye Steven."

Ste shook his head immediately, and got closer to Brendan, grabbed his face in between his hand, he didn't care that anyone was around them, or that there was possibility of Brendan pushing him into the cold river, "Look at me Brendan, you deserve everything, more than anyone," he placed his forehead against Brendan's and closed his eyes, he could feel Brendan's shallow hot breath against his mouth, "Me and you, we were meant to be Brendan, and you made me realize that, you made me believe, and that's all that matters, because I love you, and you love me," he kissed Brendan lightly on the lips, suddenly Ste's stomach rumbled, and they both chuckled.

"Ye wanna get some food?" Brendan asked. Ste smiled, "Yea, dead hungry."

Brendan sat up from the edge, and held out his hand to Ste and pulled him up.

They grabbed a deli sandwich from a nearby Deli restaurant and ate it while walking around the city.

"It's bigger than what it seemed on the telli," Ste said as they walked onto the Ha'penny bridge. Brendan laughed, "Everything is."

"What are all those on there," he pointed to the locks on the bridge.

"Those are love locks, they if two people love each other they write their name on the lock and throw the key in the water, that way they never break apart."

"You believe that?"

"Nah, love shouldn't be measured or tested by some kind of lock," Brendan said as he walked towards the rail, covered in the locks, he rested his hands on it, overlooking the Dublin River, "If ye love someone truly, ye will always love them no matter what," he said and turned, and looked at him deeply, "Like I love ye Steven, and nothing will ever change that."

Ste swallowed and lump in his throat, "I love you too," he said with emotion. Brendan walked closer to him, and pulled him into a kiss, they kissed deep and languid, and nothing mattered at that moment but them. When they broke apart, Brendan told him he wanted to take him somewhere. It wasn't what he'd expected.

"Why we here?" He asked curiously as they walked into the pub next to their apartment. It was dark, and dusty inside, the only light that peered through was from the cracked.

"My da used to own this," Brendan said as he looked around. Ste swallowed, he suddenly had goose bumps, thinking about it.

"We should just leave," he said, because he could tell he was losing Brendan to the darkness, with how he was looking at everything, far in thought.

"Every night, his cronies sat right there," he spoke, low deep voice, his accent more prominent, he was looking up aimlessly, at this mirror like banner hung above the bar, he could tell that Brendan was lost in the past, "He'd get drunk with them… I would have to clean up after… had my first beer at nine… my da said it would make me man, so I did it, but I ended up throwing up all over myself… Look lads, he's no man, he's a weak girl."

"From now on, he's not Brendan, he's Brenda…." he chanted, "Brenda, Bren- da, Bren-da!"

It hurt seeing him like that, and he just wanted to bring him out of him.

"It's all in the past now Brendan, he can't hurt you anymore, see," he wiped the dust off the bar with his hands and wiped them together, filling the air in dust, "It's just dust now, just like the past." He grabbed a bottle, and threw it against the wall, it shattered into pieces, Brendan looked at him, a half corked smile on his lips.

He walked over towards him, grabbed a stool and threw it against the wall smashing the mirror. Ste smiled and grabbed another bottle and threw it. They both grabbed anything and everything they could find, smashed them into pieces on the bar, against the wall, till they were breathless. Brendan turned around and pulled him in hard, kissed him hard, and fiercely, like it was the end. He kissed him back with just as much as intensity, hands all over him.

Brendan pushed him hard against the bar, but he didn't care, and lifted him onto it, and kissed with immense force that made him lose all his senses. They ripped each others clothes off, and threw it onto the dusty floor, not giving a fuck about it. Brendan grabbed his thighs, his fingers digging into the flesh, kissing him all over his body, biting and sucking. He didn't waste any time, with foreplay. Brendan parted his legs, spit on his cock and pushed inside of him. Ste cried out and dug his nails into Brendan's back, as he fucked him. He'd never been fucked so hard, it made his head spin, it was intense, but he loved it, it felt like they were both releasing everything finally, freeing themselves from their past. A glow of dust pooled around them as their bodies rocked against each other on the bar, their hand and boy prints cleared the dust on the surface, allowed the original sheen of the bar to come through. Ste was sure they left scars and marks on each other, but that's what they wanted, to replace their past with the present, got lost in each other.

Their bodies sweated with the intensity of it, their tongues battled in an immense, as they fucked, it was a fine line between passionate and animalistic. Their bodies became a canvas of sweat and dust. When they finally came, it seemed endless, and he didn't want it to stop, wanted Brendan inside of him, to mark him. They fucked deep through it till they came down from the high. They stayed like that for a moment, panting and breathless. But then Brendan pulled out, and yanked him up, and kissed him hard. He tugged at his hair as hard as he did his, and it was like they were trying to rip each other apart, he could taste the tanginess of blood, of _their_ blood.

He wanted Brendan to drain all the blood from him, to give him life, to make him feel alive, like he made him feel. He was hard again, and he wanted Brendan inside of him, "Please, Brendan, fuck me," he begged. Brendan turned him around against the bar, gripped his hips and slammed himself into him, hitting that spot inside of him instantly. He cried out as he held onto the edge of the bar, while Brendan gripped his hips tight, his nails dug into his hips as he fucked him again, but this time a bit more passionate and deep. Brendan turned his head in a neck twisting turn and kissed him sloppily, all tongue and teeth. He wrapped one of his arm around Brendan's neck, and the other on his torso, and rocked back into him.

Their kisses and thrusts became uncoordinated as their climax neared. Suddenly Brendan pulled them down to the floor. Had him on his hands and knees, pulled out and slammed back into him and fucked him fast and hard. When they came, it was earth shattering, left them completely, weak, and breathless. Brendan fell on top of his back, his hot breath against his neck. He eventually pulled out, and laid onto the dusty ground, he turned his head, and smiled at him, and it was so beautiful, his blue eyes were so bright, and there was a light in them he'd never seen before.

…

That sex he had was the boy felt like an outer body experience, like he'd somehow released the demon inside of himself. He was exhausted, but more alive than he'd ever before. He looked at the boy who was still laid on the ground naked, ravished, and breathless, a ray of sunlight filled with dust particles shone on him from through the window. He turned his head and smiled, and it took his breath away, he looked so fucking beautiful, like an angel, his broken angel.

He turned and ran his hand through his damp hair, and looked into his blue eyes, the boy looked at him like he still couldn't believe he was there with him. He leaned in and kissed him, lipped in his tongue between his warm mouth, and licked and lapped over his tongue, tasting him slowly, and sensually. He drank his light moans and hums. He pulled back just slightly, lips almost touching. He spit into the boys parted mouth and then kissed him again, making the boy moan obscenely, his body squirmed under him.

He ran his palm down his smooth chest and stomach that was damp from sweat, as he deepened the kiss, and groped the boys cock and balls, caressing them in his palms. The boy gasped into his mouth, moaning. He turned his body so he was completely covering the boy. He gripped one of his thighs and pulled it up, and put it onto his shoulder, grabbed his cock that was already hard too, and pushed into the boy, and kissed his neck, sucked it, as he rocked into him, this time, slower and but deeper strokes. The boy wrapped his other leg around his, clawed his back, crying out as he pleased his sweet spot, and it felt like he was someplace else, the heat of his walls against his throbbing cock was lethal. He gripped the boys head and pulled him into a kiss as he picked up speed, and came together, panting and breathless.

After they came, they stayed in that position for at least a few minutes because they could barely move.

"We've got a lot to clean up now," Brendan said as he finally rose up, and grabbed his and the boy's scattered clothes.

"Why we gotta clean it?" he asked as he put on his shirt.

"Because it's mine," Brendan said. The boy froze, eyes widened in shock, "You serious?"

Brendan nodded as he zipped up his jean, "Remember when I told ye da I got business to take care of, I was referring to the pub, the property seller was going to take it down and build something else, so I offered to buy it, today I found out that I got it."

"After everything that's happened in here?"

"That's my problem Steven, I keep running away from my past, it's time I faced it… I want to destroy this place, and turn it into mine, take that control back, and show him that he didn't win…"

The boy walked up to him and grabbed his hands into his, "Alright, if that's what you want, we can do it together, we will make him see that you are ten times the man than he could ever be."

Brendan just looked at him, the beautiful boy in front of him, perhaps God had answered him. "What would I do without ye Steven?"

"I don't know, but what I do know is I wouldn't have lived my life if it was not because of you, we're stuck in this together, forever, yea," he said with the most beautiful smile, and he just had to kiss him, if never in his life had he had meaning to his existence, he realized then, the purpose of it all. He pulled back, his forehead against his and finger tips at the boy's face, both of them in taking each others breath.

"I love ye Steven, I love ye so fucking much," he said in a heavy breath. It used to be like poison when he thought about saying it, but now it rolled off his tongue, because he did, he loved the boy with every fiber of being.

"I love you Brendan," the boy said with utter conviction, looking up at Brendan like he was some kind of God, and Brendan felt like he was, he didn't care if he was a man, because a man could never compare to a God, and that's what the boy made him feel like, like he was invincible.

"What you gonna name the place?" the boy asked, as they grabbed their clothes.

"Chez Chez."

The boy raised his brows.

"Cheryl always wanted to open a club, I didn't take her seriously at first, till she started Uni, she didn't tell anyone else, because she thought they'd laugh, she wanted it to be a surprise, and she told me, she'd name it Chez Chez, but-" he couldn't help the emotion that left his voice.

"I am so sorry."

"No… no Steven, don't, I love Chez, she was my life, but… I realized that if… if she hadn't left then, this," he pointed between them, "This would've never happened, and I would've still been involved in that ruthless life style, and I'd probably have ended up hurting her myself… God works in mysterious ways Steven, and even if I am damned for what I am doing, so be it, because I've never wanted anything in my life, as my as I want ye."

The boy smiled, "You're all I need Brendan," he said and wrapped his arms around Brendan's neck and pulled him into a deep kiss.

…

Confident and out Brendan was somehow even sexier, well he never really came out and proclaimed his sexuality, but he was no longer afraid to kiss him in public, nor did he care about the looks people gave them when they'd walk down the streets. He saw the way others would look at him every time they stepped out.

He just had that presence that begged everyone's attention and he just wanted to and it took his breath away every time he saw him, despite the fact, he saw him everyday and spent half of the days, kissing him, being fucked by him, on their new black leather couch in their apartment that was being renovated little by little, or in the bathroom, bedroom, on the floor, on the stairs, and many times in the car whenever they'd go out far into town for buisness, or just because Brendan wanted to go out for a ride.

But one thing Brendan still wouldn't do was hold hands. It just wasn't something he did, and Ste didn't mind. In fact, he liked that Brendan wasn't like that, he wasn't that conventional boyfriend, that got him cards, and flowers, or confessed to him every second that he loved him, because Brendan did more, he always showed him, through kisses, touches, looks, and earth shattering sex, and it was better than any materialistic thing, that had no meaning to him. And most of all he had the thing that no money in the world could buy, his heart.

Ste looked up at the sign of the club, with a big smile on his face, the sign, _CHEZ CHEZ_ was proudly hung on the front of the club, its letters bright pink, Cheryl's favorite color, contrasting the gray color of the club, Brendan's favorite color. The place looked completely different from when he'd first seen it. Brendan replaced its old décor, with a more modern look, somewhat dark, yet edgy, much like Brendan himself. They had spent almost two months renovating it and had just waited for the sign to come in before the grand opening.

"Ye like?" Brendan asked as he stepped out from the balcony, an addition to the club that Brendan added, that way he could watch who came in and out, but Ste knew it was because it made Brendan feel in control, like he was at the top, and he wanted that, wanted Brendan to know that nothing changed, Brendan Brady would always be at the top, no matter what.

Ste grinned, looking up at Brendan below. The bright summer sun shone on his pale skin, and blue eyes. He looked back down at him with a smirk, chewing gum, a pen behind his ear, and pen and pad in his hands. He looked so sexy, dressed in a gray button up, the top three undone, silver chain glistened on his chest, and dark jeans that showed off his long muscular legs. And there was just something so hot about Brendan being a boss, his _boss_. He'd been appointed the top barman, as well as manager of CHEZ CHEZ.

Brendan cocked his head, telling him to come up. Ste bit his lips as he walked up the stairs, "It's ace," he said and put his hands on Brendan's hips lightly, and edged closer, and kissed him, he parted his lips so that Brendan's tongue could pave its way in. He hummed and moaned with it, kissing Brendan was an addiction; it was his drug. When they pulled back a string of spit connected their lips. Brendan licked his lips breaking it, "Ye gonna make me broke Steven, this is my fifteenth gum," Brendan quipped, and Ste flushed, and grinned, it had become a regular thing, because since Brendan had become a club owner, he had got back to his habit of gum chewing, and either he or Brendan would end up always swallowing it whenever they kissed, which was practically every chance they got.

"I'll buy you a big box of gum for your birthday," Ste said, with a sheepish grin. Brendan smirked and pulled him into another kiss, but they were interrupted by the delivery truck. Brendan winked at him and slapped his ass; as he made his way down the steps, to meet the delivery man.

…

Brendan never felt as powerful as he did then, he had his beautiful boy by his side, their half renovated apartment, and finished club, and for the first time in his life, he was happy. It was just before closing time, and Brendan was in his office finishing off the Rotas, when his phone rang. It was Trevor, he called pretty often to check up on him.

"You working?" Trevor asked.

"Just finished actually, something up?" he asked as he stood up from his leather chair, and walked towards the door, leaned against the beam and watched as his boy cleaned the bar, he caught his gaze and smirked flirtatiously at him. He'd been hungry for him all day; because he hadn't had the chance to get the boy alone because the club had been jam packed. Trevor calling was normal, he called here and there asking how things were, so he'd thought it was for the same reason, but it wasn't. He'd tensed up when Trevor told him the police were looking for Danny Houston, because his gang had been dismantled, had been arrested during a drug raid.

Brendan panicked, and head back into the office and shut the door, "Fuck, fuck, what… what if they find something, what-"

"Brendan calm down, I called you not to scared you, I am telling you this because I know you probably still worry that the gang might come after you," Trevor said and he was right, despite leaving that lifestyle behind, he couldn't stop himself from worrying, he knew there was always a chance of his past catching up to him somehow and that scared him, because unlike before he had something to lose, _Steven_.

"There's no evidence of his disappearance, trust me," Trevor reassured. He finally calmed down slightly.

"Brendan?" the boy knocked on the door.

"We'll talk later," Brendan said and hung up. He opened the door; the boy looked at him concerned, "Pour us a drink." He said, and walked out the office towards the bar. The boy went around the bar, and grabbed two glasses, his gaze on his cautiously, "Everything alright?" he asked as poured them a drink. Brendan took the glass and took a sip of it, and let out a heavy breath.

"Bren, you're scaring me."

He let out a heavy breath and looked up at the boy, "My mate, he told me… that…the members of the gang I was with, got arrested."

The boys eyes widened, "That's a good thing though, ain't it?" he exclaimed.

"What… what if they, ye knew give out my name to the police?"

The boy froze, he looked scared for a second, "But you're not with them anymore, so… so it doesn't matter, they can't, they can't do anything, you're clean now," The boy walked around over the bar, and walked between his legs, and leaned in, and kissed him, then grabbed for his belt and hastily opened it, and got down onto his knees and began sucking him off. The boy had been talented with his lips, and he knew how to work his cock like it was his profession. He closed his eyes and let all his worries be replaced by pleasure.

The boy pulled back after swallowing him, and kissed him, deep and hard, he straddled his lap, and pressed his forehead against his, the back of his hands at the nape of his neck, "Me and you, there's nothing we can't get through, right, because I love you and you love me, and that's all that matters," he said, and pulled him into another kiss, Brendan lifted his shirt and pulled it off him, and began kissing all over his neck, and chest, as the boy began humping himself down on him, and unbutton his shirt, and kissed his chest.

He ran his hand down the boys spine to the hem of his jeans, and pushed his fingers under his jean, the boy lifted himself slightly, so he could open his belt and unzip him, he pushed his jeans down and stepped out of them, and straddled him again. He spit on his fingers and pushed his finger against his hole and pushed one finger in, made the boy moan and push himself down on his finger, stretching him open. He pulled his fingers out, and lifted the boy, and pushed him down onto his cock. The boy gripped his head and kissed him as he pushed himself down on him, in a steady pace, and he broke the kiss, crying out as his cock grazed the sensitive spot inside of him. The heat was blistering and pleasure immense. The boy made him forget everything else existed in the world, nothing mattered, but him. And he realized the boy was right, as long as it was them two, nothing could break them, nothing.

…

Ste loved to work behind the bar, because he was able to watch Brendan do his duties as a boss and it was such a turn on. He lurked around the club, in his expensive, fitting suits, bossing the employers, or tossing out unwanted guests out, breaking up fights. He was just so smoldering and gorgeous; he still sometimes didn't believe that Brendan was his. But most of all he loved watching Brendan work, ordering, and checking out the Rotas, it relaxed him, and he looked so sexy concentrated' sometimes Brendan wouldn't even notice he was there, because he was so deep into his work.

Even though things were going perfectly, Ste couldn't help but worry for that exact reason. He was scared that something might just come between them and try to rip them apart, and he knew he was a hypocrite since he'd been the one to tell Brendan to not worry, but he just couldn't help it, he was just scared of losing him. But he tried his best to put it at the back of his mind and focus on the present.

The music was pounding as he wiped the counter, while his coworker, Ashley a multi haired colored girl, served the new costumers.

"You can't get your eyes off him, can you?" she quipped. He turned his head, pretending to act clueless "What you on about?"

"You're not good at being subtle; you've been staring at the boss the minute he's walked in."

It wasn't that they were hiding their relationship from anyone, it's just they were never out about it either. They didn't feel like they needed to confess to everyone, because what mattered was what they thought. But rumors had already spread pretty quickly through the club, and people had an inkling that they were somewhat an forbidden worker and boss kind of scandal, which Ste couldn't deny, he thought it was pretty hot.

"Well, maybe, I can," he said, with a smirk. Right at that moment, Brendan had walked towards him, and it made him hot under the collar.

"Give us a drink Steven," he said in low gravely tone, his gaze sharp and piercing.

"Coming right up," Ste said with a flirtatious smirk, and grabbed him a glass and poured the drink and poured it. He darted his tongue out slightly between his lips, he knew it made Brendan crazy, and he knew it was working by the intensity and darkness of Brendan's gaze. He flushed as he pushed it towards him. Their fingers touched as Brendan grabbed the cup, his gaze still on him.

Ste's entire body felt hot, and he knew it wasn't because the club was stuffed with people.

"Meet at the office in after ye done with that," Brendan said as he stood up, with his drink in his hand.

"I am not on my breath though?"

"It's alright, Ashley can cover for a few minutes, won't yea," he said and looked towards Ashley. She snarled, as she wiped the bar, "Do I have a choice?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

Brendan hired her for that reason, she was hot headed, and wasn't scared of him like all the other chaps who had come for the job and ran away with their tails between their legs because Brendan was practically a mad man while interviewing them and Ste just laughed every time. Brendan's intimidation was a strange quality that had attracted Ste in the first place.

After finishing to orders of drinks, Ste made his way to the office. He opened the door slowly, and walked it. Brendan was sitting in his leather chair, leaned back, legs parted.

"Come in and close the door," he said in a low growl, smirk on the corner of his lips. Ste bit the bottom flesh of his lips, and closed the door.

"Now take off ye clothes."

"Right now, with all those people there?" It made him hard just thinking about it.

"Does it look like I care?"

Ste smirked coyly, and walked towards the middle of the small office.

"Ye shirt first," Brendan ordered, he looked high, like he was on drugs, and it was so hot, seeing him like that. Ste slowly lifted off his black CHEZ CHEZ, uniform; revealing his taut golden skin. Brendan leaned further back in his seat, licked over his red, parted lips, he was about to open his jeans, but Brendan stopped him, and ushered him towards him with his fingers.

Brendan turned his chair, and pulled Ste by the hem of his belt. He felt like he was going to come just from the intensity of Brendans gaze. Brendan opened his belt, and unzipped him, and pulled his jeans over his ass, and gripped his cheeked squeezing the flesh. Ste let out low whimpers, and held onto Brendan's shoulders for support. Brendan kissed just above his groin, licked the light hair there, and licked up to his navel, drilled his tongue in his belly button, a sensitive spot, that made him go wild. He moaned harder as Brendan kissed and licked a wet trail up to his chest and circled his tongue over his pink nipples, erecting them, he bit the nibs, making him cry out.

"Ye like that, don't ye?" Brendan hissed lowly, and kissed up his neck. He moaned when Brendan grabbed his cock in his warm hands, and stroke it while, he felt his knees weaken.

Brendan grabbed his head and kissed him deep, and wide, all tongue, and spit. They pulled back so he could take off Brendan's suit jacket off, and hastily unbuttoned his black shirt, and with shaky hands opened Brendan's belt and quickly pulled them down. Then they attacked each other mouths again, nothing slow, about it.

He gasped when he felt his back hit something cold, he knew it was Brendan's new glass table. Brendan placed himself between his legs, and kissed the flesh between his thighs, spit over his cock and licked it, and sucked him, then, licked over his entrance, and spit more on it. He went crazy with just the pleasure that alone it did.

He intertwined his fingers in Brendan's hair, wanting to feel his tongue inside of him, and he did just that. Brendan lapped and spit on his hole and drilled his hot tongue in, fucking him with it till he felt like he couldn't handle it and knew he was close to coming, but Brendan pulled back, spat on his cock, and pressed his head against his entrance and pushed in. He was already stretched open from the two times they had fucked in the morning before they had come to the club.

He dug his nails down Brendan's back and held on tightly as Brendan fucked him hard, he was worried the glass table was going to break, but Brendan had said it was strong enough to withhold anything, before they had bought it. And the way they were going at it, really pushed it to the test. Their moans, and cries of ecstasy were washed out by the pounding music.

The table moved several inches as Brendan fucked him harder as their orgasm coursed through their bodies that glistened with sweat. They kissed wide and hard till both of them came hard together, panting and breathless. Suddenly a knock on the door broke them out of their trance. Brendan quickly pulled out, and began getting dressed.

"Who is it?" Brendan asked breathlessly.

"Brendan, there are some people here to see you and Ste."

Brendan looked at him, "Someone suppose to see ye?"

"I have no clue," Ste said as he quickly got dressed.

"Will be there in a few, getting the rotas set," Brendan lied.

Ste laughed, and Brendan smirked as he pulled on his suit jacket and fixed his hair in the mirror. Brendan went out first and then he followed second later, they walked through the crowd. They both froze, when they saw Stacy and Ronny sat in the lounge area and next to them on another couch Ste's parents. Ste eyes widened in surprise, he had no idea they were coming, "Hiya, mom, dad," Ste said and jumped and hugged them tightly, "What you doing here?" he asked in exhilaration.

"Thought we'd surprise you and Brendan, hope that's alright," his mom said with a bright smile.

"Of course it is," he said and kissed her on the cheek. Brendan kissed her on the cheeks too and shook his father's hand.

He greeted Stacy and Ronny with a tight embrace, apparently the surprise visit had been Stacy's plan and she had asked Ste's parents if they wanted to go to and make the surprise a real big one.

"I am so glad to see you guys, I didn't think you would come so soon," Ste said as he sat down at a round table, eager to catch up, while his parents talked to Brendan. He could hear them complimenting the club and how both of them looked so happy.

"We saved up enough, and I told Stacy we had to come, because we missed you and well, we had to see this, its ace," Ronny said.

"You're alright with Brendan now?" Ste asked with a grin. Ronny chuckled, "I wouldn't be here otherwise, he's really proven himself."

"I say more than proven," Stacy added, "I mean, look at this, it's amazing, you have your own pub, and the hottest bad boy as your boyfriend," she said.

Ste flushed and grinned ear to ear, he already knew Brendan was everything, but knowing that others thought just as highly of him made him feel so proud and made his heart flutter.

"I'de be jealous, honestly, if I was into guys."

"Don't act like you wouldn't if you had the chance," Ste replied.

Ronny laughed, "Oh, believe me she would, she'd jump Brendan, if not because of you, I know her," she jabbed. Stacy pushed her, and smiled, "But no really, I am so fucking happy for the both of you," she squealed.

Ste didn't think his smile could get any bigger; he turned his head to look at Brendan, who was still talking to his parents.

"Look at them, they are even enthralled by your man," Stacy said. Ste blushed, and bit the bottom of his lip, "I never imagined something like this could happen to me, it still feels like a dream sometimes, I...I sometimes worry-"

"Hey," Stacy said, bringing him out of his trance, "You need to let it all go, the past and all that."

"She's right, you've worked hard Ste to get through all this, don't look back anymore," Ronny added.

He shook his head and smiled, "I won't, I am just so grateful."

"Well, then, if so, then get us a drink," Stacy said.

Ste raised his brows, "You just came here to get free drinks didn't you?" he quipped. They laughed, and got up. He came back with two cocktails, "It's Brendan's specialty, its called apology,"

"Why?" Stacy asked curiously as she looked at the drink that was a lime and yellow color.

"He made it for me once, as an apology for everything, he called it sorry Steven."

"Awww, that's so fucking sweet," Stacy said as she took a sip of the drink.

"It is, but I thought you don't drink?" Ronny added.

"There's barely any alcohol in this one, but it's really good, so I told him to make it the specialty drink for the club."

They both laughed, "Oh wow," Stacy's widened, "bloody hell, it is really good, you really better hold tightly onto him," she laughed as she gobbled more of it down. Brendan had come up minutes later, with Ste's parent's right behind.

"Steven, I gotta go, the delivery truck is here, I'll be back soon," Brendan said and he patted his parents on the back gently, "Enjoy ye time, if ye need anything just ask Steven, I'll get it for ye," he said.

"We'll just go check out the dance floor," Stacy said and grabbed Ronny's hand, to give Ste and his parents some quality time.

"You look so happy love," his mom said to him, as he poured the drinks at the bar. He smiled, "I am, I've never been happier."

"I am glad, it's all we've ever wanted."

"You were right about Brendan, he's a really good man, I mean, all this, it's very impressive, he's really proved himself." his dad added. He flushed; hearing his parents complimenting Brendan meant the world to him, "I love him so much."

"We know, and we're so happy for you," his dad replied. He smiled, and asked his parents how the restaurant was going, and they told him that everything was done, and it was great. His parents looked around the club, "I miss being young like that, dancing was the best part," his mom said with a smile, looking towards the dance floor, where they saw Stacy and Ronny shaking their asses to the music.

He stood up and held out his hand. His mom looked at him with wide eyes.

"You're never too old to dance mom," he said.

"Come on, you too," he held out his hand to his dad too, and they both smiled embarrassingly, and stood up.

He pulled them into the dance floor, and started dancing with him, Stacy and Ronny had joined them, as they got lost in the music, doing dances that perhaps no one had seen, and it was just amazing, he felt free, for the first time in his life, he was free.

The night flew by and before he knew it, he and Brendan were saying their goodbyes to Stacy, Ronny and his parents. They all were staying at a hotel not too far from their apartment.

"Both of you take care, and whenever you have time, come visit," his mom said to them, and hugged them in a tight embrace before they had driven off in the taxi after kindly declining Brendan's offer to drop them off.

Before he and Brendan even reached the door to their apartment, they were already at each other, ripping each others clothes off, and kissing like the world was going to end. Brendan pulled them into the shower and fucked him against the tiled wall as hot water cascaded down their body.

Ste was surprised when Brendan gripped his hand and lowered it to his ass, "It's okay," Brendan said hotly against his neck. So Ste kissed him and pressed his finger inside of him slowly, it was so tight that he almost pulled out afraid that he hurt Brendan but, Brendan encouraged him, as he bit down against his shoulder. Brendan moaned as he pushed his finger deeper inside of him.

He realized it wasn't about the pleasure that Brendan allowed him to touch him there, but trust; he was showing him that he trusted him. He had to kiss Brendan to keep himself from crying, as he thrust his fingers deeper inside Brendan, as they tossed each other off, and came together hard.

"I love ye, I love ye," Brendan said breathlessly against his neck. He held onto him, "I love you," he said back, voice filled with emotion. Brendan pulled back and kissed him hard on the lip one last time before he pulled him out from the shower, and wrapped him in a towel.

"Where you going?" Ste asked when he saw Brendan put on his dark jeans, and black T-shirt.

"There's something I gotta show ye," he replied with a smile, and grabbed his this leather jacket and put it on. He started itching with curiosity.

"Where we going?" Ste asked, as he quickly put on his jeans, and a white T-shirt.

"Ye so impatient Steven," Brendan quipped as he put on his leather boots, and fastened his belt. He looked so hot, and alluring. Ste walked up to him and put his hands around his waist, and bit his bottom lip, "I am only impatient for you."

Brendan smirked and backed him up against the wall, "When ye become so possessive?"

"I've always been with you," he said back, bit his bottom lip.

"Ye never showed it."

"Because you weren't mine, then," he said with a smile on his lips.

"Well, I am all ye's now," Brendan said, kissed him, thrust his tongue inside his. He tried to deepen the kiss, but Brendan pulled back, "Go put ye leather jacket."

Ste smiled and eyes widened.

Brendan had bought him a leather jacket weeks ago, but didn't let him wear it, said that he bought it for a special day. His heart pounded in excitement as he ran to their room and grabbed it and put it on.

He followed him down the steps and outside.

"Where we going?" he asked again impatiently.

"Just shut up and follow me," Brendan quipped. They walked to the back of the club, and Ste was even more confused, till he saw something covered in a black plastic. He didn't have time to ask what if was, because Brendan went behind it and lifted the plastic. Ste's mouth gaped, eyes widened. It was a black, brand new motorcycle; it glimmered against the moonlight.

"When… when did you get this?" Ste asked in awe as he walked around it, touched the silky length of its body, he paused when he noticed two letters on painted in silver paint, _**SB**. _He smiled widely when he realized it was the initials of their names;_ Steven _and _Brendan._

"Ye like it?" Brendan asked as he walked behind him, his hot breath on Ste's neck.

Ste turned a wide smile on his lips, I love it," he said in excitement, "I didn't think you were going to ride anymore?"

"I'll always ride Steven, if you Ride with me."

Ste grabbed the lapel of this leather jacket and pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss, then pulled back looking deeply into his blue eyes, "I will ride with you till the end of the world," he said, and he meant it.

Brendan smirked and kissed him, pushing him against the motorcycle, it almost tipped back, making them to break apart chuckling.

"Come on, get on," Brendan said and handed him a helmet that had the letter, **_S_** on it, and noticed Brendan's had **_B_**. Ste held onto him, as Brendan roared the black steel beauty to life, and sped off into the night.

They rode down a long stretch of road along an ocean path, till the darkness faded, and replaced by a light in the horizon.

...


End file.
